Chapter 13
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Laying on the ground, Alex didn't even have time to wake up and open his eyes before an orb smashed him in a sensitive spot.
Everything was an indistinct blur to Alex. And try as he did, it was impossible to focus his thoughts. He could detect motion and movement but no definitive shapes stood out. In this state, the seconds felt like minutes as the world slowly started to clarify and make sense. As his mind became more cognizant, Alex started to make out noises and in a rush, the world was coming into focus with distinct voices becoming audible.
"Hey! Are you listening?" An irate older man's voice was clear enough to understand.
"Alex, stop daydreaming and take the gentleman's order."
Alex blinked a couple of times and shook his head to clear it. He quickly looked around at everything surrounding him. He was back at his old ice cream scooping job and a family was in front of him at the head of a long line of customers. The irritated older man seemed to be a father here with his kids.
"Ah, sorry. I was in a daze there for just a second. What can I get you?" Alex asked as his seasoned customer service training kicked in automatically.
"I want a triple scoop of the chocolate ice cream and make them big scoops. Don't half-assed it and maybe you'll get a tip."
Alex mentally groaned as he quickly inspected the fresh container of chocolate flavor just out of the flash freezer. [This stuffs going to be harder than rock and my wrist is still killing me from straining to scoop the last bits of the previous tub.]
Before Alex could get to work on the order the older man continued. "A large chocolate milkshake for my daughter."
"I want one too daddy!" A little girl interjected.
[God d*mn it.] Alex's internal monologue offered no consolations.
"Make that two large chocolate milkshakes and for my youngest boy..."
"Let me order it, dad!" A young bratty boy interrupts his father and jumps up to the counter. "I want all the chocolate ice cream!!!" The brat loudly announces.
Alex slams his head into the ice cream display counter and wakes up with a jolt almost dislodging himself from the tree bark his claws were dug into.
"My god, even after death and in another world, I can't get away from that d*mned nightmare."
The air was humid and filled with the lush fragrances of grass and trees. Alex was a little surprised by his long antennae that came into view as he moved and tested out various parts of his new body. He seemed to be on a very large tree and his antennae were almost overwhelmed by the pungent scent of its bark.
[Oh, this would make nice smelling soap.] Alex breathed it all in and felt a little strange as his body expanded and the air swirled throughout his torso coming in through tiny holes all over him. [Whoa, it feels good to breathe this way. Kinda gets me high.]
After testing his legs and movable parts it was fairly clear that he was a sort of beetle. After he took stock of his new self, memories of being the tree come back to him and he spent a few moments in silent reflection. [I wonder if any of them survived. Wonder if I'll ever meet that old oak again.]
He began scuttling along the tree trunk getting lost in the deep folds of bark and going around in circles for a bit. [I wonder what this kind of beetle eats? Ah well, I'll probably get eaten before I starve to death anyway.]
Alex gathered up his nerve. "Do you hear me evil spirit!? I'm not going to resist so just get it over with already! I don't know why you keep killing me and I'd like to hear the reason but I guess if you wanted to tell me you would have done so by now."
Alex waited a few minutes but nothing happened. [Guess it takes time to come up with creative ways to finish me off.]
Alex tries to gauge his progress by looking up and then down to the base of the trunk. [Hmm... I'm getting nowhere crawling across this bark.]
[Wonder if these are wings I feel.] His brain was more comfortable with his new body his extra appendages became more sensitive than they were earlier. It was awkward opening his shell and spreading out his membranous wings and it took him a couple tries to straighten them out properly.
"Well, here goes nothing." He begins vibrating his wings letting muscle memory do its job and his body pulled away from the tree but rebounded back when his claws got stuck on the bark.
[Ah oops. If I do this... there.] carefully detaching his hooks from the tree, nothing was holding him down anymore and Alex zoomed through the air. At first, the massive flows of air unbalanced him but after learning the feel of the wind with his antennae he could ride along with it or pass through as he pleased.
"Come on you stupid birds! A tasty meal is flying around just for you!" Alex noticed a small gathering of birds in the upper branches of nearby bushes and flew toward them trying to get their attention. They finally took notice of his buzzing wings and took off in a hurry before he reached them.
[What the heck? Don't birds love to eat beetles? Ah maybe those bison over there can step on me or something.] The group of bison also ran away in a hurry as Alex approached. "What the heck? Why? Hey, evil spirit are you f*cking with me now? Come on let's get this over with already."
While buzzing around through the air looking for a fight, it wasn't long before Alex smelled a large amount of water with his antennae and drifted in its direction. Hidden behind dense foliage was a small pond. The air over it was filled with swarms of smaller bugs and its waters were teaming with what looked like mosquito and dragonfly larvae.
[I wonder how painful it would be to drown as a bug...] Alex mentally braced himself and flew to the pond's surface intent on plunging into its fetid waters but froze as he saw his own reflection. "What the h*ll kind of bug am I?" He looked like any girl's worst nightmare with ugly bumps and protrusions all over his shell and edges, much of which was colored in a distinct iridescent red and dark black.
[Even I'm getting creeped out by my appearance.] It took a moment to remember why he was flying toward the water but finally Alex tucked in his wings and fell the rest of the way towards his doom. With a wet plunk his body impacted the water's surface but didn't become submerged. Instead, it was as if the water was being repelled by his shell and hair covered legs. "Awww... even the water is rejecting me."
He started moving his limbs and found that he could easily crawl across the water. "What the h*ll, this thing can walk across water? Is this some kind of a Jesus bug or something!?"
Just then a big fish nearly broke the surface right under Alex looking like it was going to eat him but changed its mind halfway. When this happened Alex couldn't help but panic at the sudden monster underneath him and shot out a cloud of horrible gas from his buggy butt. As the gas expanded and floated up the swarms of insects above started passing out and falling into the water. Even the birds that were preying on the flitting bugs by swooping across the pond from one bank to the other seemed to gasp and collide with trees and bushes after passing near the stench.
"Oh... this is embarrassing hahaha." After a few moments to get over his bashfulness, Alex finally understood why everything seemed to avoid him. He was a monstrous stink bug. [Ugh, even I think this stinks...]
Alex sat there motionless on top of the water as fish avoided coming near him pondering his next course of action. [Maybe if I wait long enough a storm will come along and kill me. Or... if I can find a fire somewhere. Please don't make me eat myself!] In the distance Alex heard a resounding rage-filled roar and perked his head and antennae up with enthusiasm.
[Let's go see what that was!] Alex unfurled his wings and took off from the water flying in the direction of the uproar.
[This beetle flies pretty fast...] Alex zoomed between trees and through scraggly bushes with his precision flying, getting ever closer to the growing rumble, roars and chorus of battle sounds. Finally, he flew free of the forest and into a wide, smoke and haze filled meadow and takes in the sight of clashing forces. It looked like at least two opposing armies were in the middle of a battle and the roars were coming from either side's war beasts. Most troops were armed with swords or spears and shields, advancing on their adversaries in various formations. There were archers in the back and along the protected sides of the larger groups picking off enemies and incessantly harassing the beasts. There were even a few well-protected soldiers that looked to be using rudimentary flamethrowers among the armies.
Alex was amazed at the entire scene that Hollywood could only dream of capturing. The air was pungent with fresh blood and cooked meat. The scene was so loud Alex could only concentrate by speaking to himself out loud. "Ohhoh, so much is going on. I don't even know where to start! Oh, gawd! That guy just lost an arm!"
A giant bear-like beast began to rampage after it was set on fire by one of the flame troops. It pushed through the lines of both friends and enemies crushing anything that was unlucky enough to fall under its massive feet. Alex headed straight for it. He was sure that if he could latch onto the beast he could either get stomped on or burned to death with ease. He was able to get close enough to feel the heat from the flames consuming the beast when it suddenly froze in place as if the fire was no longer excruciating to it and looked at Alex approaching from the air. Its eyes widened with shock and shone with true fear before it completely ignored its surroundings and dashed madly away from Alex sending troops flying in every direction and leaving puddles of crushed bodies in its footprints.
The beast's panicked roars sounded so different from its rage-filled trumpets from before that all the nearby troops stopped killing each other to watch on, looking at friend and foe for some kind of explanation. It was just a moment longer before an arrow from a distant archer passed close enough to Alex to painfully bend his antennae with its wind eliciting another cloud of gas to escape from the end of his abdomen.
The change in the troops upon seeing this gassy cloud above their heads was immediate.
"Holy Sh*t! Not a devil beetle!"
"Oh Mother of Mercy protect your son and see me through this evil day..."
Entire formations of soldier began to break apart as the troops began to flee the field yelling out prayers and mixed expletives instead of battle cries.
"Archers! Shoot that d*mn bug down this instant!"
"But Sir! That's a demon bug. I don't want to draw its attention. Please let's get out of here!"
"We are the King's chosen champions yet we run from a single bug!? If you don't man up this instant and do as you're told, there will no longer be any place in the kingdom for any of you! Now! Archers! Fire!" Looking extremely wary, the beleaguered archers took aim, many of them closing their eyes and looking away as much as they dared in front of their commander, before loosing their deadly missiles.
Alex took this opportunity to try and get an easy death by flying into the dense volley but the arrows only jostled and knocked him around in the air a bit. His shell didn't even suffer a single scratch but more acrid and acidic gas escaped from his butt, descending over the ground and wilting a large swath of grass.
The brave commander finally had a look of fear in his eyes much like the canny war beast that was now knocking down trees about a mile away spreading a forest fire along the way.
[You've got to be kidding me. Am I that dangerous this time?] Alex was impressed with his new body and started wanting to stick around and test his limits.
[Might as well have some fun while I can.] Alex started to fly as fast as he could taking a tour of all the fleeing troops and making a path circling both armies preventing any more soldiers and beasts from escaping into the forest. He got a real kick out of teasing and tormenting the poor rabble whose foes were already forgotten and the ranks mixed together in their desperation to get away.
Finally, one of the flame troops, with tears streaming down his face, couldn't take the mental torture anymore and charged straight into Alex's path using his weapon to frantically shoot flames ahead of him drawing panicked patterns in the air. Just for the h*ll of it, Alex decided to fly right into the air sizzling flames. As his body was engulfed by the roaring inferno, his antennae could taste the flames while more gas escaped from his rear exit and seemingly chocked the life out of even the blazing fire eliciting gasps of horror from the spectating soldiers.
It wasn't until Alex got closer to the hottest part of the fire that his gas finally reacted to the heat and combusted. In an explosive chain reaction, all the gas still emanating from Alex expanded and tore the beetle body apart spreading acidic blood everywhere and burned unlucky soldiers through armor, flesh and bone.
After Alex died, a great cheer rose up from the surviving armies. The commanders came together and grasped hands and began to hug with tears in their eyes. Not a single soldier that witnessed this act of reconciliation could keep from shedding their own tears of joy. They had just survived an encounter with true evil, nothing else mattered.
"It is a shame that the brave flame warrior died but his bravery will never be forgotten! We all owe him a debt of gratitude and his just spirit will live on in all of us! From this day forward, let us declare peace among our peoples! A monument will be raised on this spot so that our children's children will remember this day and never forget the sacrifice of our combined kingdom's greatest hero!"
The crowd of soldiers shouted out, "All Hail Theodorus the Flame! Hero and slayer of Devil Bugs!"
...
As expected, the old man was not amused to see Alex and pelted him with the orb as soon as he appeared again. Alex wasn't happy either with his lack of progress in getting out of this insane cycle of death and rebirth.
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Laying on the ground, Alex didn't even have time to wake up and open his eyes before an orb smashed him in a sensitive spot.
Everything was an indistinct blur to Alex. And try as he did, it was impossible to focus his thoughts. He could detect motion and movement but no definitive shapes stood out. In this state, the seconds felt like minutes as the world slowly started to clarify and make sense. As his mind became more cognizant, Alex started to make out noises and in a rush, the world was coming into focus with distinct voices becoming audible.
"Hey! Are you listening?" An irate older man's voice was clear enough to understand.
"Alex, stop daydreaming and take the gentleman's order."
Alex blinked a couple of times and shook his head to clear it. He quickly looked around at everything surrounding him. He was back at his old ice cream scooping job and a family was in front of him at the head of a long line of customers. The irritated older man seemed to be a father here with his kids.
"Ah, sorry. I was in a daze there for just a second. What can I get you?" Alex asked as his seasoned customer service training kicked in automatically.
"I want a triple scoop of the chocolate ice cream and make them big scoops. Don't half-assed it and maybe you'll get a tip."
Alex mentally groaned as he quickly inspected the fresh container of chocolate flavor just out of the flash freezer. [This stuffs going to be harder than rock and my wrist is still killing me from straining to scoop the last bits of the previous tub.]
Before Alex could get to work on the order the older man continued. "A large chocolate milkshake for my daughter."
"I want one too daddy!" A little girl interjected.
[God d*mn it.] Alex's internal monologue offered no consolations.
"Make that two large chocolate milkshakes and for my youngest boy..."
"Let me order it, dad!" A young bratty boy interrupts his father and jumps up to the counter. "I want all the chocolate ice cream!!!" The brat loudly announces.
Alex slams his head into the ice cream display counter and wakes up with a jolt almost dislodging himself from the tree bark his claws were dug into.
"My god, even after death and in another world, I can't get away from that d*mned nightmare."
The air was humid and filled with the lush fragrances of grass and trees. Alex was a little surprised by his long antennae that came into view as he moved and tested out various parts of his new body. He seemed to be on a very large tree and his antennae were almost overwhelmed by the pungent scent of its bark.
[Oh, this would make nice smelling soap.] Alex breathed it all in and felt a little strange as his body expanded and the air swirled throughout his torso coming in through tiny holes all over him. [Whoa, it feels good to breathe this way. Kinda gets me high.]
After testing his legs and movable parts it was fairly clear that he was a sort of beetle. After he took stock of his new self, memories of being the tree come back to him and he spent a few moments in silent reflection. [I wonder if any of them survived. Wonder if I'll ever meet that old oak again.]
He began scuttling along the tree trunk getting lost in the deep folds of bark and going around in circles for a bit. [I wonder what this kind of beetle eats? Ah well, I'll probably get eaten before I starve to death anyway.]
Alex gathered up his nerve. "Do you hear me evil spirit!? I'm not going to resist so just get it over with already! I don't know why you keep killing me and I'd like to hear the reason but I guess if you wanted to tell me you would have done so by now."
Alex waited a few minutes but nothing happened. [Guess it takes time to come up with creative ways to finish me off.]
Alex tries to gauge his progress by looking up and then down to the base of the trunk. [Hmm... I'm getting nowhere crawling across this bark.]
[Wonder if these are wings I feel.] His brain was more comfortable with his new body his extra appendages became more sensitive than they were earlier. It was awkward opening his shell and spreading out his membranous wings and it took him a couple tries to straighten them out properly.
"Well, here goes nothing." He begins vibrating his wings letting muscle memory do its job and his body pulled away from the tree but rebounded back when his claws got stuck on the bark.
[Ah oops. If I do this... there.] carefully detaching his hooks from the tree, nothing was holding him down anymore and Alex zoomed through the air. At first, the massive flows of air unbalanced him but after learning the feel of the wind with his antennae he could ride along with it or pass through as he pleased.
"Come on you stupid birds! A tasty meal is flying around just for you!" Alex noticed a small gathering of birds in the upper branches of nearby bushes and flew toward them trying to get their attention. They finally took notice of his buzzing wings and took off in a hurry before he reached them.
[What the heck? Don't birds love to eat beetles? Ah maybe those bison over there can step on me or something.] The group of bison also ran away in a hurry as Alex approached. "What the heck? Why? Hey, evil spirit are you f*cking with me now? Come on let's get this over with already."
While buzzing around through the air looking for a fight, it wasn't long before Alex smelled a large amount of water with his antennae and drifted in its direction. Hidden behind dense foliage was a small pond. The air over it was filled with swarms of smaller bugs and its waters were teaming with what looked like mosquito and dragonfly larvae.
[I wonder how painful it would be to drown as a bug...] Alex mentally braced himself and flew to the pond's surface intent on plunging into its fetid waters but froze as he saw his own reflection. "What the h*ll kind of bug am I?" He looked like any girl's worst nightmare with ugly bumps and protrusions all over his shell and edges, much of which was colored in a distinct iridescent red and dark black.
[Even I'm getting creeped out by my appearance.] It took a moment to remember why he was flying toward the water but finally Alex tucked in his wings and fell the rest of the way towards his doom. With a wet plunk his body impacted the water's surface but didn't become submerged. Instead, it was as if the water was being repelled by his shell and hair covered legs. "Awww... even the water is rejecting me."
He started moving his limbs and found that he could easily crawl across the water. "What the h*ll, this thing can walk across water? Is this some kind of a Jesus bug or something!?"
Just then a big fish nearly broke the surface right under Alex looking like it was going to eat him but changed its mind halfway. When this happened Alex couldn't help but panic at the sudden monster underneath him and shot out a cloud of horrible gas from his buggy butt. As the gas expanded and floated up the swarms of insects above started passing out and falling into the water. Even the birds that were preying on the flitting bugs by swooping across the pond from one bank to the other seemed to gasp and collide with trees and bushes after passing near the stench.
"Oh... this is embarrassing hahaha." After a few moments to get over his bashfulness, Alex finally understood why everything seemed to avoid him. He was a monstrous stink bug. [Ugh, even I think this stinks...]
Alex sat there motionless on top of the water as fish avoided coming near him pondering his next course of action. [Maybe if I wait long enough a storm will come along and kill me. Or... if I can find a fire somewhere. Please don't make me eat myself!] In the distance Alex heard a resounding rage-filled roar and perked his head and antennae up with enthusiasm.
[Let's go see what that was!] Alex unfurled his wings and took off from the water flying in the direction of the uproar.
[This beetle flies pretty fast...] Alex zoomed between trees and through scraggly bushes with his precision flying, getting ever closer to the growing rumble, roars and chorus of battle sounds. Finally, he flew free of the forest and into a wide, smoke and haze filled meadow and takes in the sight of clashing forces. It looked like at least two opposing armies were in the middle of a battle and the roars were coming from either side's war beasts. Most troops were armed with swords or spears and shields, advancing on their adversaries in various formations. There were archers in the back and along the protected sides of the larger groups picking off enemies and incessantly harassing the beasts. There were even a few well-protected soldiers that looked to be using rudimentary flamethrowers among the armies.
Alex was amazed at the entire scene that Hollywood could only dream of capturing. The air was pungent with fresh blood and cooked meat. The scene was so loud Alex could only concentrate by speaking to himself out loud. "Ohhoh, so much is going on. I don't even know where to start! Oh, gawd! That guy just lost an arm!"
A giant bear-like beast began to rampage after it was set on fire by one of the flame troops. It pushed through the lines of both friends and enemies crushing anything that was unlucky enough to fall under its massive feet. Alex headed straight for it. He was sure that if he could latch onto the beast he could either get stomped on or burned to death with ease. He was able to get close enough to feel the heat from the flames consuming the beast when it suddenly froze in place as if the fire was no longer excruciating to it and looked at Alex approaching from the air. Its eyes widened with shock and shone with true fear before it completely ignored its surroundings and dashed madly away from Alex sending troops flying in every direction and leaving puddles of crushed bodies in its footprints.
The beast's panicked roars sounded so different from its rage-filled trumpets from before that all the nearby troops stopped killing each other to watch on, looking at friend and foe for some kind of explanation. It was just a moment longer before an arrow from a distant archer passed close enough to Alex to painfully bend his antennae with its wind eliciting another cloud of gas to escape from the end of his abdomen.
The change in the troops upon seeing this gassy cloud above their heads was immediate.
"Holy Sh*t! Not a devil beetle!"
"Oh Mother of Mercy protect your son and see me through this evil day..."
Entire formations of soldier began to break apart as the troops began to flee the field yelling out prayers and mixed expletives instead of battle cries.
"Archers! Shoot that d*mn bug down this instant!"
"But Sir! That's a demon bug. I don't want to draw its attention. Please let's get out of here!"
"We are the King's chosen champions yet we run from a single bug!? If you don't man up this instant and do as you're told, there will no longer be any place in the kingdom for any of you! Now! Archers! Fire!" Looking extremely wary, the beleaguered archers took aim, many of them closing their eyes and looking away as much as they dared in front of their commander, before loosing their deadly missiles.
Alex took this opportunity to try and get an easy death by flying into the dense volley but the arrows only jostled and knocked him around in the air a bit. His shell didn't even suffer a single scratch but more acrid and acidic gas escaped from his butt, descending over the ground and wilting a large swath of grass.
The brave commander finally had a look of fear in his eyes much like the canny war beast that was now knocking down trees about a mile away spreading a forest fire along the way.
[You've got to be kidding me. Am I that dangerous this time?] Alex was impressed with his new body and started wanting to stick around and test his limits.
[Might as well have some fun while I can.] Alex started to fly as fast as he could taking a tour of all the fleeing troops and making a path circling both armies preventing any more soldiers and beasts from escaping into the forest. He got a real kick out of teasing and tormenting the poor rabble whose foes were already forgotten and the ranks mixed together in their desperation to get away.
Finally, one of the flame troops, with tears streaming down his face, couldn't take the mental torture anymore and charged straight into Alex's path using his weapon to frantically shoot flames ahead of him drawing panicked patterns in the air. Just for the h*ll of it, Alex decided to fly right into the air sizzling flames. As his body was engulfed by the roaring inferno, his antennae could taste the flames while more gas escaped from his rear exit and seemingly chocked the life out of even the blazing fire eliciting gasps of horror from the spectating soldiers.
It wasn't until Alex got closer to the hottest part of the fire that his gas finally reacted to the heat and combusted. In an explosive chain reaction, all the gas still emanating from Alex expanded and tore the beetle body apart spreading acidic blood everywhere and burned unlucky soldiers through armor, flesh and bone.
After Alex died, a great cheer rose up from the surviving armies. The commanders came together and grasped hands and began to hug with tears in their eyes. Not a single soldier that witnessed this act of reconciliation could keep from shedding their own tears of joy. They had just survived an encounter with true evil, nothing else mattered.
"It is a shame that the brave flame warrior died but his bravery will never be forgotten! We all owe him a debt of gratitude and his just spirit will live on in all of us! From this day forward, let us declare peace among our peoples! A monument will be raised on this spot so that our children's children will remember this day and never forget the sacrifice of our combined kingdom's greatest hero!"
The crowd of soldiers shouted out, "All Hail Theodorus the Flame! Hero and slayer of Devil Bugs!"
...
As expected, the old man was not amused to see Alex and pelted him with the orb as soon as he appeared again. Alex wasn't happy either with his lack of progress in getting out of this insane cycle of death and rebirth.
Laying on the ground, Alex didn't even have time to wake up and open his eyes before an orb smashed him in a sensitive spot.Everything was an indistinct blur to Alex. And try as he did, it was impossible to focus his thoughts. He could detect motion and movement but no definitive shapes stood out. In this state, the seconds felt like minutes as the world slowly started to clarify and make sense. As his mind became more cognizant, Alex started to make out noises and in a rush, the world was coming into focus with distinct voices becoming audible."Hey! Are you listening?" An irate older man's voice was clear enough to understand."Alex, stop daydreaming and take the gentleman's order."Alex blinked a couple of times and shook his head to clear it. He quickly looked around at everything surrounding him. He was back at his old ice cream scooping job and a family was in front of him at the head of a long line of customers. The irritated older man seemed to be a father here with his kids."Ah, sorry. I was in a daze there for just a second. What can I get you?" Alex asked as his seasoned customer service training kicked in automatically."I want a triple scoop of the chocolate ice cream and make them big scoops. Don't half-assed it and maybe you'll get a tip."Alex mentally groaned as he quickly inspected the fresh container of chocolate flavor just out of the flash freezer. This stuffs going to be harder than rock and my wrist is still killing me from straining to scoop the last bits of the previous tub.Before Alex could get to work on the order the older man continued. "A large chocolate milkshake for my daughter.""I want one too daddy!" A little girl interjected.God d*mn it. Alex's internal monologue offered no consolations."Make that two large chocolate milkshakes and for my youngest boy...""Let me order it, dad!" A young bratty boy interrupts his father and jumps up to the counter. "I want all the chocolate ice cream!!!" The brat loudly announces.Alex slams his head into the ice cream display counter and wakes up with a jolt almost dislodging himself from the tree bark his claws were dug into."My god, even after death and in another world, I can't get away from that d*mned nightmare."The air was humid and filled with the lush fragrances of grass and trees. Alex was a little surprised by his long antennae that came into view as he moved and tested out various parts of his new body. He seemed to be on a very large tree and his antennae were almost overwhelmed by the pungent scent of its bark.Oh, this would make nice smelling soap. Alex breathed it all in and felt a little strange as his body expanded and the air swirled throughout his torso coming in through tiny holes all over him. Whoa, it feels good to breathe this way. Kinda gets me high.After testing his legs and movable parts it was fairly clear that he was a sort of beetle. After he took stock of his new self, memories of being the tree come back to him and he spent a few moments in silent reflection. I wonder if any of them survived. Wonder if I'll ever meet that old oak again.He began scuttling along the tree trunk getting lost in the deep folds of bark and going around in circles for a bit. I wonder what this kind of beetle eats? Ah well, I'll probably get eaten before I starve to death anyway.Alex gathered up his nerve. "Do you hear me evil spirit!? I'm not going to resist so just get it over with already! I don't know why you keep killing me and I'd like to hear the reason but I guess if you wanted to tell me you would have done so by now."Alex waited a few minutes but nothing happened. Guess it takes time to come up with creative ways to finish me off.Alex tries to gauge his progress by looking up and then down to the base of the trunk. Hmm... I'm getting nowhere crawling across this bark.Wonder if these are wings I feel. His brain was more comfortable with his new body his extra appendages became more sensitive than they were earlier. It was awkward opening his shell and spreading out his membranous wings and it took him a couple tries to straighten them out properly."Well, here goes nothing." He begins vibrating his wings letting muscle memory do its job and his body pulled away from the tree but rebounded back when his claws got stuck on the bark.Ah oops. If I do this... there. carefully detaching his hooks from the tree, nothing was holding him down anymore and Alex zoomed through the air. At first, the massive flows of air unbalanced him but after learning the feel of the wind with his antennae he could ride along with it or pass through as he pleased."Come on you stupid birds! A tasty meal is flying around just for you!" Alex noticed a small gathering of birds in the upper branches of nearby bushes and flew toward them trying to get their attention. They finally took notice of his buzzing wings and took off in a hurry before he reached them.What the heck? Don't birds love to eat beetles? Ah maybe those bison over there can step on me or something. The group of bison also ran away in a hurry as Alex approached. "What the heck? Why? Hey, evil spirit are you f*cking with me now? Come on let's get this over with already."While buzzing around through the air looking for a fight, it wasn't long before Alex smelled a large amount of water with his antennae and drifted in its direction. Hidden behind dense foliage was a small pond. The air over it was filled with swarms of smaller bugs and its waters were teaming with what looked like mosquito and dragonfly larvae.I wonder how painful it would be to drown as a bug... Alex mentally braced himself and flew to the pond's surface intent on plunging into its fetid waters but froze as he saw his own reflection. "What the h*ll kind of bug am I?" He looked like any girl's worst nightmare with ugly bumps and protrusions all over his shell and edges, much of which was colored in a distinct iridescent red and dark black.Even I'm getting creeped out by my appearance. It took a moment to remember why he was flying toward the water but finally Alex tucked in his wings and fell the rest of the way towards his doom. With a wet plunk his body impacted the water's surface but didn't become submerged. Instead, it was as if the water was being repelled by his shell and hair covered legs. "Awww... even the water is rejecting me."He started moving his limbs and found that he could easily crawl across the water. "What the h*ll, this thing can walk across water? Is this some kind of a Jesus bug or something!?"Just then a big fish nearly broke the surface right under Alex looking like it was going to eat him but changed its mind halfway. When this happened Alex couldn't help but panic at the sudden monster underneath him and shot out a cloud of horrible gas from his buggy butt. As the gas expanded and floated up the swarms of insects above started passing out and falling into the water. Even the birds that were preying on the flitting bugs by swooping across the pond from one bank to the other seemed to gasp and collide with trees and bushes after passing near the stench."Oh... this is embarrassing hahaha." After a few moments to get over his bashfulness, Alex finally understood why everything seemed to avoid him. He was a monstrous stink bug. Ugh, even I think this stinks...Alex sat there motionless on top of the water as fish avoided coming near him pondering his next course of action. Maybe if I wait long enough a storm will come along and kill me. Or... if I can find a fire somewhere. Please don't make me eat myself! In the distance Alex heard a resounding rage-filled roar and perked his head and antennae up with enthusiasm.Let's go see what that was! Alex unfurled his wings and took off from the water flying in the direction of the uproar.This beetle flies pretty fast... Alex zoomed between trees and through scraggly bushes with his precision flying, getting ever closer to the growing rumble, roars and chorus of battle sounds. Finally, he flew free of the forest and into a wide, smoke and haze filled meadow and takes in the sight of clashing forces. It looked like at least two opposing armies were in the middle of a battle and the roars were coming from either side's war beasts. Most troops were armed with swords or spears and shields, advancing on their adversaries in various formations. There were archers in the back and along the protected sides of the larger groups picking off enemies and incessantly harassing the beasts. There were even a few well-protected soldiers that looked to be using rudimentary flamethrowers among the armies.Alex was amazed at the entire scene that Hollywood could only dream of capturing. The air was pungent with fresh blood and cooked meat. The scene was so loud Alex could only concentrate by speaking to himself out loud. "Ohhoh, so much is going on. I don't even know where to start! Oh, gawd! That guy just lost an arm!"A giant bear-like beast began to rampage after it was set on fire by one of the flame troops. It pushed through the lines of both friends and enemies crushing anything that was unlucky enough to fall under its massive feet. Alex headed straight for it. He was sure that if he could latch onto the beast he could either get stomped on or burned to death with ease. He was able to get close enough to feel the heat from the flames consuming the beast when it suddenly froze in place as if the fire was no longer excruciating to it and looked at Alex approaching from the air. Its eyes widened with shock and shone with true fear before it completely ignored its surroundings and dashed madly away from Alex sending troops flying in every direction and leaving puddles of crushed bodies in its footprints.The beast's panicked roars sounded so different from its rage-filled trumpets from before that all the nearby troops stopped killing each other to watch on, looking at friend and foe for some kind of explanation. It was just a moment longer before an arrow from a distant archer passed close enough to Alex to painfully bend his antennae with its wind eliciting another cloud of gas to escape from the end of his abdomen.The change in the troops upon seeing this gassy cloud above their heads was immediate."Holy Sh*t! Not a devil beetle!""Oh Mother of Mercy protect your son and see me through this evil day..."Entire formations of soldier began to break apart as the troops began to flee the field yelling out prayers and mixed expletives instead of battle cries."Archers! Shoot that d*mn bug down this instant!""But Sir! That's a demon bug. I don't want to draw its attention. Please let's get out of here!""We are the King's chosen champions yet we run from a single bug!? If you don't man up this instant and do as you're told, there will no longer be any place in the kingdom for any of you! Now! Archers! Fire!" Looking extremely wary, the beleaguered archers took aim, many of them closing their eyes and looking away as much as they dared in front of their commander, before loosing their deadly missiles.Alex took this opportunity to try and get an easy death by flying into the dense volley but the arrows only jostled and knocked him around in the air a bit. His shell didn't even suffer a single scratch but more acrid and acidic gas escaped from his butt, descending over the ground and wilting a large swath of grass.The brave commander finally had a look of fear in his eyes much like the canny war beast that was now knocking down trees about a mile away spreading a forest fire along the way.You've got to be kidding me. Am I that dangerous this time? Alex was impressed with his new body and started wanting to stick around and test his limits.Might as well have some fun while I can. Alex started to fly as fast as he could taking a tour of all the fleeing troops and making a path circling both armies preventing any more soldiers and beasts from escaping into the forest. He got a real kick out of teasing and tormenting the poor rabble whose foes were already forgotten and the ranks mixed together in their desperation to get away.Finally, one of the flame troops, with tears streaming down his face, couldn't take the mental torture anymore and charged straight into Alex's path using his weapon to frantically shoot flames ahead of him drawing panicked patterns in the air. Just for the h*ll of it, Alex decided to fly right into the air sizzling flames. As his body was engulfed by the roaring inferno, his antennae could taste the flames while more gas escaped from his rear exit and seemingly chocked the life out of even the blazing fire eliciting gasps of horror from the spectating soldiers.It wasn't until Alex got closer to the hottest part of the fire that his gas finally reacted to the heat and combusted. In an explosive chain reaction, all the gas still emanating from Alex expanded and tore the beetle body apart spreading acidic blood everywhere and burned unlucky soldiers through armor, flesh and bone.After Alex died, a great cheer rose up from the surviving armies. The commanders came together and grasped hands and began to hug with tears in their eyes. Not a single soldier that witnessed this act of reconciliation could keep from shedding their own tears of joy. They had just survived an encounter with true evil, nothing else mattered."It is a shame that the brave flame warrior died but his bravery will never be forgotten! We all owe him a debt of gratitude and his just spirit will live on in all of us! From this day forward, let us declare peace among our peoples! A monument will be raised on this spot so that our children's children will remember this day and never forget the sacrifice of our combined kingdom's greatest hero!"The crowd of soldiers shouted out, "All Hail Theodorus the Flame! Hero and slayer of Devil Bugs!"...As expected, the old man was not amused to see Alex and pelted him with the orb as soon as he appeared again. Alex wasn't happy either with his lack of progress in getting out of this insane cycle of death and rebirth.
