Chapter 19
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["There are a few fragments right here at this motel. Your current body's owner even left a small fragment behind when he passed."] Angel answered as Alex finished up the rest of his food.
"This body's owner? Makes me feel like I stole something from him when I think about it." Alex expressed his discomfort at remembering the body he is currently using was once a real living person. Even if it's just a shell now, it still feels a bit wrong to be using it.
["I should probably remind you to talk to me in your head and not out loud with your mouth. Some of the people around you are giving you sidelong looks with awkward smiles. Also, the owner of the corpse you're using was named Chuck."]
[Ah... right. Thanks for reminding me Angel.] Taken aback, Alex looked around after standing up and saw that he had indeed garnered some unwanted attention.
[I thought in the age of earbuds, people would stop assuming I was crazy for talking to myself.]
["Is it good to be back?"] Angel asked Alex in a teasing way.
[Yeah, it's nice to know I can still be traumatized just by walking out the door and grabbing something to eat haha. Anyway, where are the fragments around the motel?]
["Head back to your room and stand next to the bed. I'll test the method of absorbing the soul fragments away from prying eyes."]
After returning to the room and closing the door, Alex scanned around the bed and hallway looking to see if he could spot the fragment.
[I don't see anything. Are you sure it's here?] Alex asked.
["It's right on top of the bed as if it was sleeping. Just go over and stand next to the bed and I'll do the rest."]
Alex did as Angel asked and while he was waiting for something to happen he saw the TV remote under a corner of the pillow and picked it up.
[I'd never had cable where I lived. I could only get to see all the channels when on a road trip with my family.] Alex turned the TV on and was greeted by political commercials.
[I thought cable didn't have commercials. When did that change?]
["Hold out one of your hands above the bed, please."] Angel ignored Alex's little stories as she worked.
When Alex did as she said, a small blur like a smudge within the air gathered around his outstretched hand before it disappeared into his skin. Alex didn't have time to pull his hand back. The instant the colorless wavelike tendrils made contact with him, he started to relive the memories contained within the soul fragment. They were broken and confusing jumping from one thought to the next similar to a trippy music video.
Finally coming out of the odd experience, Alex shook his head to clear it and asked, "Is that what it's supposed to be like when life flashes before your eyes?"
["No, I don't think so. Those visions were fragmentary at best. That soul fragment was minuscule and didn't contain much power. Let's hope the others we find will be in better shape."]
"What makes or rather, what determines..." Alex struggled to form a proper question as the concept kept slipping from his brain. Luckily Angel was smart enough to understand what he wanted to ask.
["A soul fragment is just a small piece of a mature soul. By mature soul, I mean a soul that is fully aware of itself and contains the spark of life. It has the ability to understand and learn and also to feel emotions. Emotions are some of the essences of will and will is a form of power. That is an example of the power we are trying to harness from these soul fragments and the ability to learn implies that a soul can also remember. Those memories are what you were just experiencing. Though they were fragmented and in bad shape so you experienced them in fragments. The more willpower a soul has, the more power we can harness by gathering and storing its fragments"]
"It was like trying to watch a glitchy DVD. Is there a way to clear the images up?"
["Unless we find other fragments of the same soul to fit the pieces together, there is no method I can utilize at the moment. I may be able to make it easier on you if it bothers you to relive their memories though. Would you like me to try?"]
Alex considered Angel's offer for a moment. Rather than making a rational decision, Alex was more inclined to follow his gut feeling and his heart agreed. "No, I'd like to still see at least some of it. It would feel wrong to just take them otherwise. It'd be like stealing parts of somebody's life without even caring enough to see what you just took from them. So, let me see it all."
["It could be dangerous to space out while you're experiencing their lives. Also, if you're hoping for some lucky lewd memories, I should remind you, these are memories from people that have already died. You are far more likely to see things that will disturb you. But it's up to you after all."]
Alex was reminded how Angel could read his mind once again and decided to change the topic. "Where is the next fragment?"
["Just outside in the parking lot"] Angel guided Alex to the area where a fragment contained some of the memories of a mugging victim that had been killed years ago just outside. Alex was a little disturbed by what he experienced but he felt stronger inside as if he was learning something valuable from living pieces of other peoples' lives.
Of the soul fragments in and near the motel, there were memories of people that had been run over by a car while crossing the street both on and off the crosswalk. Others had died of heart failure like the former owner of Alex's current body, Chuck. Only a few died while doing fun adult activities.
Alex hopped into Chuck's truck and followed Angel's directions gathering fragments as he went. There were many from people killed by drunk or impaired drivers. Even a few more that were killed on a crosswalk by people turning at the intersection.
[The drivers that ran those people over were too stupid to check the blind spot made by the car frame between the front and side windows. It always pissed me off how stupid or negligent people were able to get behind the wheel of a fast-moving piece of metal. A glorified battering ram on wheels. Cars have killed far more people and little kids than guns, yet you don't see rallies to ban or further regulate them on the news. I guess people care more about their own convenience than other people's lives after all.] Alex finally had someone to complain too rather than bottle up his frustrations like he normally did.
[A bunch of impatient pr*cks spoiled by modern conveniences. I sometimes wished I could live back before the car when people used to walk to places.] Alex had started to press the gas pedal a little harder from his agitation.
["You can't change the world Alex. At least not yet. Please focus on what you're doing at the moment so you don't likewise kill someone with this truck. Your current body might already be dead but don't think you can go around killing others. I already considered this option to gather more soul fragments but I determined it would lead to undesirable consequences."] Angel tried to drag Alex back out of the depression he was starting to bury himself in.
["Let me play some music for you."] Angel started playing "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater as Alex drove the truck down the road.
[Angel.]
["Yes Alex?"]
"Thank you."
["Of course Alex"]
"Am I a zombie?"
["..."]
"You said this body is already dead but I'm moving it just fine as if it's still alive. Doesn't that mean I'm actually a zombie at the moment?"
["Technically you would be correct."]
"Zombies gross me out... Is there a bathroom nearby?" Even though Chuck had already died, his body was still alive with the help of Angel and the bit of power the old man gave the orb before sending Alex on his way. The method was similar to but more advanced than how electricity can still trigger nerves in a dead body to make an arm twitch. However, this wouldn't stop the body from deteriorating for forever and the power Angel had to utilize for this task was only enough for a couple of days as she had previously told Alex.
["If you turn down the next street and enter the police station there's a bathroom on the right."] Angel had access to some of Chuck's memories from the intact parts of his brain that she could use to guide Alex through the city.
Alex silently noted how Angel's words "there's a bathroom on the right" matched the lyrics "there's a bad moon on the rise" from the song as he drove down the street.
...
[That is not a smell I ever want to experience again.] Alex commented on the stench Chuck's body was producing in his waste.
["That aside Alex, there is another fragment here and this one feels stronger. Follow my directions and try not to stand out."]
Alex had to sneak over near the interrogation rooms within the police station. Fortunately, it was lunchtime and most people were too busy filling their faces at nearby restaurants to care.
As the soul was collected, Alex began reliving its more lucid memory within his mind.
...
The police detective asked the guards to step outside of the room and to close the door before he turned back to the man sitting at the metal table.
"I'm tired of playing games with you so I'm going to move straight to the point. The human body normally has two hands with five fingers on them each for a total of ten fingernails each."
"Do thumbs count as fingers?" The prisoner asked.
"Smart man, you won't care about the difference soon enough. You see, I'm going to start smashing all these fingernails one by one and if you still don't tell me what I want to hear, I'll start pulling off all the pieces one by one and I won't be gentle while doing it. I will be calling the guards back in when I ask you a question and asking them to leave so I can pluck another broken fingernail every time when you don't give me the correct answer."
"It sounds like I will care very much so about the difference, sir." The prisoner used humor to resist the intimidation.
The detective scowled at the lack of a proper response he was getting from his smug prisoner and decided to ignore his taunting comments.
"Now, these guards will be getting awfully tired of having to leave all the time and they are the ones that will be watching out for you during your stay in prison, I might add. What do you suppose would happen if they were to say, spread the word that you're a rapist pedophile and that they'd be taking a long coffee break? I'll tell you, all the other inmates will take this as permission to vent their many frustrations on you. I guarantee that you'll wish you had cooperated with me then."
The detective leaned over the table at his prisoner. "But don't worry, fingernails grow back and they're very easy to hide with a pair of scratchy gloves..."
At the end of the memory, the prisoner had died from a heart attack. Something Alex was close to having himself at that moment.
...
Alex proceeded along the road and was coming up to the overpass Angel had mentioned earlier.
["Pull over before the bridge. Some of the fragments are just over the edge."]
Some of the fragments were from lovers that had committed suicide by jumping off the overpass. Another was from someone that had caused an accident by falling asleep at the wheel. Yet another was from a person that somehow got cut in half by an elevator and had died in the ambulance that was stuck in the traffic backup caused by the earlier guy that had fallen asleep at the wheel. Still, the most surprising fragment was from an invisible man that was jaywalking at the wrong time.
The final soul fragment from that location was the most lucid and came from a trucker.
...
Josh the trucker's memory was of traveling down the road when the semi-truck ahead of him ran off the road. Josh laughed as he figured that the driver was distracted by the perverted billboard featuring a nearly naked lady posing in a very suggestive manner that was just up ahead. As Josh got closer, the tree branches blocking most of the billboard were finally moving out of the way so he could get a good look at it on his way past. Josh didn't realize that he was still automatically following the very truck in front that had gone off the road until he too was heading off the side of the road. He had just enough time to curse at himself and swerve to the side before it became apparent that there wouldn't be enough room for his truck carrying a heavier load to stop. His cabin fell down the side of the somewhat short cliff followed by the heavy trailer that then landed on Josh who was still in the driver seat. It was not an easy affair for the corpse recovery team to clean up.
...
Even having died so many times himself, this was Alex's first time truly experiencing death from other people's perspective. He saw how their potential was lost in such random, needless or senseless ways. Ways that could have been prevented such as by wearing seat belts and going the speed limit or not drinking and driving and not being high while driving. He started to philosophize with Angel about the meaning of life and death and what the ultimate aim of life should be and the freedom of transcending mortality could bring him.
"I'm curious, where do gods go? Do they have a home to return to? Are they really as free to go where they want as the old man was saying? Do they have to worry about climate change caused by global warming or put up with destructive politics, political commercials, and phone scammers?"
["... That is something you'd have to ask him the next time you see him. But the world is not so bad. There are still many beautiful things here on Earth."]
"Like what? The nice view? Every time I found a spot with a good view of the mountains from within the city, someone would put a building there and ruin it or block it completely."
["Maybe you'll leave Earth for good and not have to worry about any of this anymore."]
"But my family and friends still would."
["Maybe you'll be able to reincarnate on a fresh world and not remember about any of this. Maybe someday they would too."]
"I don't want to forget who I am though." Alex thought in silence for a bit longer before he continued his thought. "No, I don't want that. Ignorance to me is not bliss... There ARE things I would like to forget though. But there are also things I want to remember forever. Besides, what would happen to you if I did forget everything?"
["I am bonded to your soul just like that device the old man gave you. Wherever your soul goes I follow."]
"Great, so if I forgot everything, I'd grow up talking to a voice that only I can hear?"
["There are some cultures where that is a sign of divinity."]
They were both silent for a bit.
["Say, what are some of the things you don't want to forget? I could make backup copies of them for you. And do you have any regrets that I can help solve?"]
Alex thinks for a few moments. I have some memories of things that were never resolved but so much time has already passed that it's fine enough to just let it all be as it already is."
He smiles as he recalls something else. "There was this one woman I met on the beach though. She almost got impaled by my beach umbrella when the wind pulled it from the sand. I ran after it and when I saw her laying there sunbathing, I knew I wasn't going to catch it in time. So I cupped my hands and yelled as loud as I could to warn her and to my surprise, she listened and was able to dodge out of the way. She was so pretty and the way she moved when rolling out of the way was so graceful. I fell for her a bit at that moment. And you know the funny thing? I saw her half an hour earlier on the beach from the hotel balcony and wanted to meet her but I didn't know she was still there when I was planting the umbrella. I didn't do anything when I was finally face-to-face with her though. I was just happy she didn't try to sue me honestly."
Alex happened to be sitting on the bridge dangling his feet over the side as he talked to Angel. He hadn't realized that a small crowd of people had gathered fearing that he was going to commit suicide as a few lovers had at that spot before. This was actually Alex's plan but Angel had another idea in mind.
["Wouldn't you rather go out doing something you love?"]
"What did you have in mind?"
["I know you loved eating large barbeque burgers and there's a grill just down the road that Chuck and his friends used to eat at. Why don't we head there and eat until you time out?"]
"That does sound like a better plan." Alex replied with a grin. "Let me get down from here."
The crowd gasped as Alex started to scoot around and one of the women in the crowd yelled out, "He's going to do it! Somebody save him!"
Alex paid the commotion no mind as he figured out how to get down by gripping the edge with his knees and bending backward into a rolling handstand. He was successful until his arms gave out but he just brushed the dirt off as well as he could as he walked back to Chuck's truck.
It had taken Alex and Angel the better part of his two days to collect the myriad soul fragments along the way. Angel was surprised when they came across a fragment that was left by someone that was still alive because a fragment breaking off from a living host was very rare. Alex wasn't aware that Angel shouldn't normally know about such details.
...
"What would you like to order hon?" The friendly waitress asked as Alex was absorbed in the menu.
"I'd like to order the colossal BBQ bacon cheeseburger and then... I'd like to challenge the all you can eat steak contest." Alex said without a hint of hesitation.
"You'd like to eat a cheeseburger before taking the challenge?" The waitress couldn't believe what she had just heard but it wasn't up to her to stop him. What did she care if some idiot had to pay eighty dollars for the steak meal? There was a good chance she'd get a kickback from the owner on top of her tip.
While Alex was in the middle of the challenge, Angel played "A View to a Kill" by Duran Duran and some of the people Chuck knew started to gather to encourage him.
"Oh! He's going to do it! Incredible!"
"Didn't he eat a burger and drink all that soda just before though? Where's all that food going?"
"This isn't good. Chuck was complaining about being forced to diet by his doctor because of high blood pressure. We should probably stop him."
"That's harsh."
"Come on, just let him have a bit more fun before he has to give it all up."
"Yeah let's let him live a little."
In the end, Alex was able to finish the entire meal in the time he had left. With a smile, Alex gave Chuck one last accomplishment in front of his friends before his time ran out. As Chuck's body returned to death, Angel pointed out that at least his friends will have already found his body and his legend will live on for a time.
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["There are a few fragments right here at this motel. Your current body's owner even left a small fragment behind when he passed."] Angel answered as Alex finished up the rest of his food.
"This body's owner? Makes me feel like I stole something from him when I think about it." Alex expressed his discomfort at remembering the body he is currently using was once a real living person. Even if it's just a shell now, it still feels a bit wrong to be using it.
["I should probably remind you to talk to me in your head and not out loud with your mouth. Some of the people around you are giving you sidelong looks with awkward smiles. Also, the owner of the corpse you're using was named Chuck."]
[Ah... right. Thanks for reminding me Angel.] Taken aback, Alex looked around after standing up and saw that he had indeed garnered some unwanted attention.
[I thought in the age of earbuds, people would stop assuming I was crazy for talking to myself.]
["Is it good to be back?"] Angel asked Alex in a teasing way.
[Yeah, it's nice to know I can still be traumatized just by walking out the door and grabbing something to eat haha. Anyway, where are the fragments around the motel?]
["Head back to your room and stand next to the bed. I'll test the method of absorbing the soul fragments away from prying eyes."]
After returning to the room and closing the door, Alex scanned around the bed and hallway looking to see if he could spot the fragment.
[I don't see anything. Are you sure it's here?] Alex asked.
["It's right on top of the bed as if it was sleeping. Just go over and stand next to the bed and I'll do the rest."]
Alex did as Angel asked and while he was waiting for something to happen he saw the TV remote under a corner of the pillow and picked it up.
[I'd never had cable where I lived. I could only get to see all the channels when on a road trip with my family.] Alex turned the TV on and was greeted by political commercials.
[I thought cable didn't have commercials. When did that change?]
["Hold out one of your hands above the bed, please."] Angel ignored Alex's little stories as she worked.
When Alex did as she said, a small blur like a smudge within the air gathered around his outstretched hand before it disappeared into his skin. Alex didn't have time to pull his hand back. The instant the colorless wavelike tendrils made contact with him, he started to relive the memories contained within the soul fragment. They were broken and confusing jumping from one thought to the next similar to a trippy music video.
Finally coming out of the odd experience, Alex shook his head to clear it and asked, "Is that what it's supposed to be like when life flashes before your eyes?"
["No, I don't think so. Those visions were fragmentary at best. That soul fragment was minuscule and didn't contain much power. Let's hope the others we find will be in better shape."]
"What makes or rather, what determines..." Alex struggled to form a proper question as the concept kept slipping from his brain. Luckily Angel was smart enough to understand what he wanted to ask.
["A soul fragment is just a small piece of a mature soul. By mature soul, I mean a soul that is fully aware of itself and contains the spark of life. It has the ability to understand and learn and also to feel emotions. Emotions are some of the essences of will and will is a form of power. That is an example of the power we are trying to harness from these soul fragments and the ability to learn implies that a soul can also remember. Those memories are what you were just experiencing. Though they were fragmented and in bad shape so you experienced them in fragments. The more willpower a soul has, the more power we can harness by gathering and storing its fragments"]
"It was like trying to watch a glitchy DVD. Is there a way to clear the images up?"
["Unless we find other fragments of the same soul to fit the pieces together, there is no method I can utilize at the moment. I may be able to make it easier on you if it bothers you to relive their memories though. Would you like me to try?"]
Alex considered Angel's offer for a moment. Rather than making a rational decision, Alex was more inclined to follow his gut feeling and his heart agreed. "No, I'd like to still see at least some of it. It would feel wrong to just take them otherwise. It'd be like stealing parts of somebody's life without even caring enough to see what you just took from them. So, let me see it all."
["It could be dangerous to space out while you're experiencing their lives. Also, if you're hoping for some lucky lewd memories, I should remind you, these are memories from people that have already died. You are far more likely to see things that will disturb you. But it's up to you after all."]
Alex was reminded how Angel could read his mind once again and decided to change the topic. "Where is the next fragment?"
["Just outside in the parking lot"] Angel guided Alex to the area where a fragment contained some of the memories of a mugging victim that had been killed years ago just outside. Alex was a little disturbed by what he experienced but he felt stronger inside as if he was learning something valuable from living pieces of other peoples' lives.
Of the soul fragments in and near the motel, there were memories of people that had been run over by a car while crossing the street both on and off the crosswalk. Others had died of heart failure like the former owner of Alex's current body, Chuck. Only a few died while doing fun adult activities.
Alex hopped into Chuck's truck and followed Angel's directions gathering fragments as he went. There were many from people killed by drunk or impaired drivers. Even a few more that were killed on a crosswalk by people turning at the intersection.
[The drivers that ran those people over were too stupid to check the blind spot made by the car frame between the front and side windows. It always pissed me off how stupid or negligent people were able to get behind the wheel of a fast-moving piece of metal. A glorified battering ram on wheels. Cars have killed far more people and little kids than guns, yet you don't see rallies to ban or further regulate them on the news. I guess people care more about their own convenience than other people's lives after all.] Alex finally had someone to complain too rather than bottle up his frustrations like he normally did.
[A bunch of impatient pr*cks spoiled by modern conveniences. I sometimes wished I could live back before the car when people used to walk to places.] Alex had started to press the gas pedal a little harder from his agitation.
["You can't change the world Alex. At least not yet. Please focus on what you're doing at the moment so you don't likewise kill someone with this truck. Your current body might already be dead but don't think you can go around killing others. I already considered this option to gather more soul fragments but I determined it would lead to undesirable consequences."] Angel tried to drag Alex back out of the depression he was starting to bury himself in.
["Let me play some music for you."] Angel started playing "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater as Alex drove the truck down the road.
[Angel.]
["Yes Alex?"]
"Thank you."
["Of course Alex"]
"Am I a zombie?"
["..."]
"You said this body is already dead but I'm moving it just fine as if it's still alive. Doesn't that mean I'm actually a zombie at the moment?"
["Technically you would be correct."]
"Zombies gross me out... Is there a bathroom nearby?" Even though Chuck had already died, his body was still alive with the help of Angel and the bit of power the old man gave the orb before sending Alex on his way. The method was similar to but more advanced than how electricity can still trigger nerves in a dead body to make an arm twitch. However, this wouldn't stop the body from deteriorating for forever and the power Angel had to utilize for this task was only enough for a couple of days as she had previously told Alex.
["If you turn down the next street and enter the police station there's a bathroom on the right."] Angel had access to some of Chuck's memories from the intact parts of his brain that she could use to guide Alex through the city.
Alex silently noted how Angel's words "there's a bathroom on the right" matched the lyrics "there's a bad moon on the rise" from the song as he drove down the street.
...
[That is not a smell I ever want to experience again.] Alex commented on the stench Chuck's body was producing in his waste.
["That aside Alex, there is another fragment here and this one feels stronger. Follow my directions and try not to stand out."]
Alex had to sneak over near the interrogation rooms within the police station. Fortunately, it was lunchtime and most people were too busy filling their faces at nearby restaurants to care.
As the soul was collected, Alex began reliving its more lucid memory within his mind.
...
The police detective asked the guards to step outside of the room and to close the door before he turned back to the man sitting at the metal table.
"I'm tired of playing games with you so I'm going to move straight to the point. The human body normally has two hands with five fingers on them each for a total of ten fingernails each."
"Do thumbs count as fingers?" The prisoner asked.
"Smart man, you won't care about the difference soon enough. You see, I'm going to start smashing all these fingernails one by one and if you still don't tell me what I want to hear, I'll start pulling off all the pieces one by one and I won't be gentle while doing it. I will be calling the guards back in when I ask you a question and asking them to leave so I can pluck another broken fingernail every time when you don't give me the correct answer."
"It sounds like I will care very much so about the difference, sir." The prisoner used humor to resist the intimidation.
The detective scowled at the lack of a proper response he was getting from his smug prisoner and decided to ignore his taunting comments.
"Now, these guards will be getting awfully tired of having to leave all the time and they are the ones that will be watching out for you during your stay in prison, I might add. What do you suppose would happen if they were to say, spread the word that you're a rapist pedophile and that they'd be taking a long coffee break? I'll tell you, all the other inmates will take this as permission to vent their many frustrations on you. I guarantee that you'll wish you had cooperated with me then."
The detective leaned over the table at his prisoner. "But don't worry, fingernails grow back and they're very easy to hide with a pair of scratchy gloves..."
At the end of the memory, the prisoner had died from a heart attack. Something Alex was close to having himself at that moment.
...
Alex proceeded along the road and was coming up to the overpass Angel had mentioned earlier.
["Pull over before the bridge. Some of the fragments are just over the edge."]
Some of the fragments were from lovers that had committed suicide by jumping off the overpass. Another was from someone that had caused an accident by falling asleep at the wheel. Yet another was from a person that somehow got cut in half by an elevator and had died in the ambulance that was stuck in the traffic backup caused by the earlier guy that had fallen asleep at the wheel. Still, the most surprising fragment was from an invisible man that was jaywalking at the wrong time.
The final soul fragment from that location was the most lucid and came from a trucker.
...
Josh the trucker's memory was of traveling down the road when the semi-truck ahead of him ran off the road. Josh laughed as he figured that the driver was distracted by the perverted billboard featuring a nearly naked lady posing in a very suggestive manner that was just up ahead. As Josh got closer, the tree branches blocking most of the billboard were finally moving out of the way so he could get a good look at it on his way past. Josh didn't realize that he was still automatically following the very truck in front that had gone off the road until he too was heading off the side of the road. He had just enough time to curse at himself and swerve to the side before it became apparent that there wouldn't be enough room for his truck carrying a heavier load to stop. His cabin fell down the side of the somewhat short cliff followed by the heavy trailer that then landed on Josh who was still in the driver seat. It was not an easy affair for the corpse recovery team to clean up.
...
Even having died so many times himself, this was Alex's first time truly experiencing death from other people's perspective. He saw how their potential was lost in such random, needless or senseless ways. Ways that could have been prevented such as by wearing seat belts and going the speed limit or not drinking and driving and not being high while driving. He started to philosophize with Angel about the meaning of life and death and what the ultimate aim of life should be and the freedom of transcending mortality could bring him.
"I'm curious, where do gods go? Do they have a home to return to? Are they really as free to go where they want as the old man was saying? Do they have to worry about climate change caused by global warming or put up with destructive politics, political commercials, and phone scammers?"
["... That is something you'd have to ask him the next time you see him. But the world is not so bad. There are still many beautiful things here on Earth."]
"Like what? The nice view? Every time I found a spot with a good view of the mountains from within the city, someone would put a building there and ruin it or block it completely."
["Maybe you'll leave Earth for good and not have to worry about any of this anymore."]
"But my family and friends still would."
["Maybe you'll be able to reincarnate on a fresh world and not remember about any of this. Maybe someday they would too."]
"I don't want to forget who I am though." Alex thought in silence for a bit longer before he continued his thought. "No, I don't want that. Ignorance to me is not bliss... There ARE things I would like to forget though. But there are also things I want to remember forever. Besides, what would happen to you if I did forget everything?"
["I am bonded to your soul just like that device the old man gave you. Wherever your soul goes I follow."]
"Great, so if I forgot everything, I'd grow up talking to a voice that only I can hear?"
["There are some cultures where that is a sign of divinity."]
They were both silent for a bit.
["Say, what are some of the things you don't want to forget? I could make backup copies of them for you. And do you have any regrets that I can help solve?"]
Alex thinks for a few moments. I have some memories of things that were never resolved but so much time has already passed that it's fine enough to just let it all be as it already is."
He smiles as he recalls something else. "There was this one woman I met on the beach though. She almost got impaled by my beach umbrella when the wind pulled it from the sand. I ran after it and when I saw her laying there sunbathing, I knew I wasn't going to catch it in time. So I cupped my hands and yelled as loud as I could to warn her and to my surprise, she listened and was able to dodge out of the way. She was so pretty and the way she moved when rolling out of the way was so graceful. I fell for her a bit at that moment. And you know the funny thing? I saw her half an hour earlier on the beach from the hotel balcony and wanted to meet her but I didn't know she was still there when I was planting the umbrella. I didn't do anything when I was finally face-to-face with her though. I was just happy she didn't try to sue me honestly."
Alex happened to be sitting on the bridge dangling his feet over the side as he talked to Angel. He hadn't realized that a small crowd of people had gathered fearing that he was going to commit suicide as a few lovers had at that spot before. This was actually Alex's plan but Angel had another idea in mind.
["Wouldn't you rather go out doing something you love?"]
"What did you have in mind?"
["I know you loved eating large barbeque burgers and there's a grill just down the road that Chuck and his friends used to eat at. Why don't we head there and eat until you time out?"]
"That does sound like a better plan." Alex replied with a grin. "Let me get down from here."
The crowd gasped as Alex started to scoot around and one of the women in the crowd yelled out, "He's going to do it! Somebody save him!"
Alex paid the commotion no mind as he figured out how to get down by gripping the edge with his knees and bending backward into a rolling handstand. He was successful until his arms gave out but he just brushed the dirt off as well as he could as he walked back to Chuck's truck.
It had taken Alex and Angel the better part of his two days to collect the myriad soul fragments along the way. Angel was surprised when they came across a fragment that was left by someone that was still alive because a fragment breaking off from a living host was very rare. Alex wasn't aware that Angel shouldn't normally know about such details.
...
"What would you like to order hon?" The friendly waitress asked as Alex was absorbed in the menu.
"I'd like to order the colossal BBQ bacon cheeseburger and then... I'd like to challenge the all you can eat steak contest." Alex said without a hint of hesitation.
"You'd like to eat a cheeseburger before taking the challenge?" The waitress couldn't believe what she had just heard but it wasn't up to her to stop him. What did she care if some idiot had to pay eighty dollars for the steak meal? There was a good chance she'd get a kickback from the owner on top of her tip.
While Alex was in the middle of the challenge, Angel played "A View to a Kill" by Duran Duran and some of the people Chuck knew started to gather to encourage him.
"Oh! He's going to do it! Incredible!"
"Didn't he eat a burger and drink all that soda just before though? Where's all that food going?"
"This isn't good. Chuck was complaining about being forced to diet by his doctor because of high blood pressure. We should probably stop him."
"That's harsh."
"Come on, just let him have a bit more fun before he has to give it all up."
"Yeah let's let him live a little."
In the end, Alex was able to finish the entire meal in the time he had left. With a smile, Alex gave Chuck one last accomplishment in front of his friends before his time ran out. As Chuck's body returned to death, Angel pointed out that at least his friends will have already found his body and his legend will live on for a time.
"There are a few fragments right here at this motel. Your current body's owner even left a small fragment behind when he passed." Angel answered as Alex finished up the rest of his food."This body's owner? Makes me feel like I stole something from him when I think about it." Alex expressed his discomfort at remembering the body he is currently using was once a real living person. Even if it's just a shell now, it still feels a bit wrong to be using it."I should probably remind you to talk to me in your head and not out loud with your mouth. Some of the people around you are giving you sidelong looks with awkward smiles. Also, the owner of the corpse you're using was named Chuck."Ah... right. Thanks for reminding me Angel. Taken aback, Alex looked around after standing up and saw that he had indeed garnered some unwanted attention.I thought in the age of earbuds, people would stop assuming I was crazy for talking to myself."Is it good to be back?" Angel asked Alex in a teasing way.Yeah, it's nice to know I can still be traumatized just by walking out the door and grabbing something to eat haha. Anyway, where are the fragments around the motel?"Head back to your room and stand next to the bed. I'll test the method of absorbing the soul fragments away from prying eyes."After returning to the room and closing the door, Alex scanned around the bed and hallway looking to see if he could spot the fragment.I don't see anything. Are you sure it's here? Alex asked."It's right on top of the bed as if it was sleeping. Just go over and stand next to the bed and I'll do the rest."Alex did as Angel asked and while he was waiting for something to happen he saw the TV remote under a corner of the pillow and picked it up.I'd never had cable where I lived. I could only get to see all the channels when on a road trip with my family. Alex turned the TV on and was greeted by political commercials.I thought cable didn't have commercials. When did that change?"Hold out one of your hands above the bed, please." Angel ignored Alex's little stories as she worked.When Alex did as she said, a small blur like a smudge within the air gathered around his outstretched hand before it disappeared into his skin. Alex didn't have time to pull his hand back. The instant the colorless wavelike tendrils made contact with him, he started to relive the memories contained within the soul fragment. They were broken and confusing jumping from one thought to the next similar to a trippy music video.Finally coming out of the odd experience, Alex shook his head to clear it and asked, "Is that what it's supposed to be like when life flashes before your eyes?""No, I don't think so. Those visions were fragmentary at best. That soul fragment was minuscule and didn't contain much power. Let's hope the others we find will be in better shape.""What makes or rather, what determines..." Alex struggled to form a proper question as the concept kept slipping from his brain. Luckily Angel was smart enough to understand what he wanted to ask."A soul fragment is just a small piece of a mature soul. By mature soul, I mean a soul that is fully aware of itself and contains the spark of life. It has the ability to understand and learn and also to feel emotions. Emotions are some of the essences of will and will is a form of power. That is an example of the power we are trying to harness from these soul fragments and the ability to learn implies that a soul can also remember. Those memories are what you were just experiencing. Though they were fragmented and in bad shape so you experienced them in fragments. The more willpower a soul has, the more power we can harness by gathering and storing its fragments""It was like trying to watch a glitchy DVD. Is there a way to clear the images up?""Unless we find other fragments of the same soul to fit the pieces together, there is no method I can utilize at the moment. I may be able to make it easier on you if it bothers you to relive their memories though. Would you like me to try?"Alex considered Angel's offer for a moment. Rather than making a rational decision, Alex was more inclined to follow his gut feeling and his heart agreed. "No, I'd like to still see at least some of it. It would feel wrong to just take them otherwise. It'd be like stealing parts of somebody's life without even caring enough to see what you just took from them. So, let me see it all.""It could be dangerous to space out while you're experiencing their lives. Also, if you're hoping for some lucky lewd memories, I should remind you, these are memories from people that have already died. You are far more likely to see things that will disturb you. But it's up to you after all."Alex was reminded how Angel could read his mind once again and decided to change the topic. "Where is the next fragment?""Just outside in the parking lot" Angel guided Alex to the area where a fragment contained some of the memories of a mugging victim that had been killed years ago just outside. Alex was a little disturbed by what he experienced but he felt stronger inside as if he was learning something valuable from living pieces of other peoples' lives.Of the soul fragments in and near the motel, there were memories of people that had been run over by a car while crossing the street both on and off the crosswalk. Others had died of heart failure like the former owner of Alex's current body, Chuck. Only a few died while doing fun adult activities.Alex hopped into Chuck's truck and followed Angel's directions gathering fragments as he went. There were many from people killed by drunk or impaired drivers. Even a few more that were killed on a crosswalk by people turning at the intersection.The drivers that ran those people over were too stupid to check the blind spot made by the car frame between the front and side windows. It always pissed me off how stupid or negligent people were able to get behind the wheel of a fast-moving piece of metal. A glorified battering ram on wheels. Cars have killed far more people and little kids than guns, yet you don't see rallies to ban or further regulate them on the news. I guess people care more about their own convenience than other people's lives after all. Alex finally had someone to complain too rather than bottle up his frustrations like he normally did.A bunch of impatient pr*cks spoiled by modern conveniences. I sometimes wished I could live back before the car when people used to walk to places. Alex had started to press the gas pedal a little harder from his agitation."You can't change the world Alex. At least not yet. Please focus on what you're doing at the moment so you don't likewise kill someone with this truck. Your current body might already be dead but don't think you can go around killing others. I already considered this option to gather more soul fragments but I determined it would lead to undesirable consequences." Angel tried to drag Alex back out of the depression he was starting to bury himself in."Let me play some music for you." Angel started playing "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater as Alex drove the truck down the road.Angel."Yes Alex?""Thank you.""Of course Alex""Am I a zombie?""...""You said this body is already dead but I'm moving it just fine as if it's still alive. Doesn't that mean I'm actually a zombie at the moment?""Technically you would be correct.""Zombies gross me out... Is there a bathroom nearby?" Even though Chuck had already died, his body was still alive with the help of Angel and the bit of power the old man gave the orb before sending Alex on his way. The method was similar to but more advanced than how electricity can still trigger nerves in a dead body to make an arm twitch. However, this wouldn't stop the body from deteriorating for forever and the power Angel had to utilize for this task was only enough for a couple of days as she had previously told Alex."If you turn down the next street and enter the police station there's a bathroom on the right." Angel had access to some of Chuck's memories from the intact parts of his brain that she could use to guide Alex through the city.Alex silently noted how Angel's words "there's a bathroom on the right" matched the lyrics "there's a bad moon on the rise" from the song as he drove down the street....That is not a smell I ever want to experience again. Alex commented on the stench Chuck's body was producing in his waste."That aside Alex, there is another fragment here and this one feels stronger. Follow my directions and try not to stand out."Alex had to sneak over near the interrogation rooms within the police station. Fortunately, it was lunchtime and most people were too busy filling their faces at nearby restaurants to care.As the soul was collected, Alex began reliving its more lucid memory within his mind....The police detective asked the guards to step outside of the room and to close the door before he turned back to the man sitting at the metal table."I'm tired of playing games with you so I'm going to move straight to the point. The human body normally has two hands with five fingers on them each for a total of ten fingernails each.""Do thumbs count as fingers?" The prisoner asked."Smart man, you won't care about the difference soon enough. You see, I'm going to start smashing all these fingernails one by one and if you still don't tell me what I want to hear, I'll start pulling off all the pieces one by one and I won't be gentle while doing it. I will be calling the guards back in when I ask you a question and asking them to leave so I can pluck another broken fingernail every time when you don't give me the correct answer.""It sounds like I will care very much so about the difference, sir." The prisoner used humor to resist the intimidation.The detective scowled at the lack of a proper response he was getting from his smug prisoner and decided to ignore his taunting comments."Now, these guards will be getting awfully tired of having to leave all the time and they are the ones that will be watching out for you during your stay in prison, I might add. What do you suppose would happen if they were to say, spread the word that you're a rapist pedophile and that they'd be taking a long coffee break? I'll tell you, all the other inmates will take this as permission to vent their many frustrations on you. I guarantee that you'll wish you had cooperated with me then."The detective leaned over the table at his prisoner. "But don't worry, fingernails grow back and they're very easy to hide with a pair of scratchy gloves..."At the end of the memory, the prisoner had died from a heart attack. Something Alex was close to having himself at that moment....Alex proceeded along the road and was coming up to the overpass Angel had mentioned earlier."Pull over before the bridge. Some of the fragments are just over the edge."Some of the fragments were from lovers that had committed suicide by jumping off the overpass. Another was from someone that had caused an accident by falling asleep at the wheel. Yet another was from a person that somehow got cut in half by an elevator and had died in the ambulance that was stuck in the traffic backup caused by the earlier guy that had fallen asleep at the wheel. Still, the most surprising fragment was from an invisible man that was jaywalking at the wrong time.The final soul fragment from that location was the most lucid and came from a trucker....Josh the trucker's memory was of traveling down the road when the semi-truck ahead of him ran off the road. Josh laughed as he figured that the driver was distracted by the perverted billboard featuring a nearly naked lady posing in a very suggestive manner that was just up ahead. As Josh got closer, the tree branches blocking most of the billboard were finally moving out of the way so he could get a good look at it on his way past. Josh didn't realize that he was still automatically following the very truck in front that had gone off the road until he too was heading off the side of the road. He had just enough time to curse at himself and swerve to the side before it became apparent that there wouldn't be enough room for his truck carrying a heavier load to stop. His cabin fell down the side of the somewhat short cliff followed by the heavy trailer that then landed on Josh who was still in the driver seat. It was not an easy affair for the corpse recovery team to clean up....Even having died so many times himself, this was Alex's first time truly experiencing death from other people's perspective. He saw how their potential was lost in such random, needless or senseless ways. Ways that could have been prevented such as by wearing seat belts and going the speed limit or not drinking and driving and not being high while driving. He started to philosophize with Angel about the meaning of life and death and what the ultimate aim of life should be and the freedom of transcending mortality could bring him."I'm curious, where do gods go? Do they have a home to return to? Are they really as free to go where they want as the old man was saying? Do they have to worry about climate change caused by global warming or put up with destructive politics, political commercials, and phone scammers?""... That is something you'd have to ask him the next time you see him. But the world is not so bad. There are still many beautiful things here on Earth.""Like what? The nice view? Every time I found a spot with a good view of the mountains from within the city, someone would put a building there and ruin it or block it completely.""Maybe you'll leave Earth for good and not have to worry about any of this anymore.""But my family and friends still would.""Maybe you'll be able to reincarnate on a fresh world and not remember about any of this. Maybe someday they would too.""I don't want to forget who I am though." Alex thought in silence for a bit longer before he continued his thought. "No, I don't want that. Ignorance to me is not bliss... There ARE things I would like to forget though. But there are also things I want to remember forever. Besides, what would happen to you if I did forget everything?""I am bonded to your soul just like that device the old man gave you. Wherever your soul goes I follow.""Great, so if I forgot everything, I'd grow up talking to a voice that only I can hear?""There are some cultures where that is a sign of divinity."They were both silent for a bit."Say, what are some of the things you don't want to forget? I could make backup copies of them for you. And do you have any regrets that I can help solve?"Alex thinks for a few moments. I have some memories of things that were never resolved but so much time has already passed that it's fine enough to just let it all be as it already is."He smiles as he recalls something else. "There was this one woman I met on the beach though. She almost got impaled by my beach umbrella when the wind pulled it from the sand. I ran after it and when I saw her laying there sunbathing, I knew I wasn't going to catch it in time. So I cupped my hands and yelled as loud as I could to warn her and to my surprise, she listened and was able to dodge out of the way. She was so pretty and the way she moved when rolling out of the way was so graceful. I fell for her a bit at that moment. And you know the funny thing? I saw her half an hour earlier on the beach from the hotel balcony and wanted to meet her but I didn't know she was still there when I was planting the umbrella. I didn't do anything when I was finally face-to-face with her though. I was just happy she didn't try to sue me honestly."Alex happened to be sitting on the bridge dangling his feet over the side as he talked to Angel. He hadn't realized that a small crowd of people had gathered fearing that he was going to commit suicide as a few lovers had at that spot before. This was actually Alex's plan but Angel had another idea in mind."Wouldn't you rather go out doing something you love?""What did you have in mind?""I know you loved eating large barbeque burgers and there's a grill just down the road that Chuck and his friends used to eat at. Why don't we head there and eat until you time out?""That does sound like a better plan." Alex replied with a grin. "Let me get down from here."The crowd gasped as Alex started to scoot around and one of the women in the crowd yelled out, "He's going to do it! Somebody save him!"Alex paid the commotion no mind as he figured out how to get down by gripping the edge with his knees and bending backward into a rolling handstand. He was successful until his arms gave out but he just brushed the dirt off as well as he could as he walked back to Chuck's truck.It had taken Alex and Angel the better part of his two days to collect the myriad soul fragments along the way. Angel was surprised when they came across a fragment that was left by someone that was still alive because a fragment breaking off from a living host was very rare. Alex wasn't aware that Angel shouldn't normally know about such details...."What would you like to order hon?" The friendly waitress asked as Alex was absorbed in the menu."I'd like to order the colossal BBQ bacon cheeseburger and then... I'd like to challenge the all you can eat steak contest." Alex said without a hint of hesitation."You'd like to eat a cheeseburger before taking the challenge?" The waitress couldn't believe what she had just heard but it wasn't up to her to stop him. What did she care if some idiot had to pay eighty dollars for the steak meal? There was a good chance she'd get a kickback from the owner on top of her tip.While Alex was in the middle of the challenge, Angel played "A View to a Kill" by Duran Duran and some of the people Chuck knew started to gather to encourage him."Oh! He's going to do it! Incredible!""Didn't he eat a burger and drink all that soda just before though? Where's all that food going?""This isn't good. Chuck was complaining about being forced to diet by his doctor because of high blood pressure. We should probably stop him.""That's harsh.""Come on, just let him have a bit more fun before he has to give it all up.""Yeah let's let him live a little."In the end, Alex was able to finish the entire meal in the time he had left. With a smile, Alex gave Chuck one last accomplishment in front of his friends before his time ran out. As Chuck's body returned to death, Angel pointed out that at least his friends will have already found his body and his legend will live on for a time.
