After returning from her camp, Li Yun Wei called He Luo and insisted on coming over. She was worried her friend would be depressed the entire break. Shen Lie, as promised, managed to get the train tickets. So He Luo took the chance to invite Ye Zhi and got her old and new friends together to eat at the small restaurant outside the campus.
Li Yun Wei laughed when she saw Zhang Yuan. “My old deskmate, why don’t you speak up if you’re going to come? You made me worry about He Luo for nothing.”
Zhang Yuan picked up the menu. “How is it for nothing? I’m treating you to dinner. This is Zhang Yuan’s first bloodletting in Beijing.”
“Let’s hurry up and eat!” Li Yun Wei said. “When it gets late, it’s not safe to walk around our campus. I heard a girl even got robbed sometime ago.”
“The evening paper I bought on my way here also reported that,” Shen Lie said, taking out the newspaper.
Li Yun Wei took it and studied it carefully. She asked He Luo, “I have a question. Many of such reports would say the woman who bite the suspect’s tongue off and that’s how they solve the crime. Isn’t it strange? Even if it’s biting, won’t it just be biting the suspect’s lips?”
He Luo busied herself with gulping her hot tea. The heat has already reached her forehead. “Have you finished reading the menu?” A flustered He Luo ripped the menu from Zhang Yuan’s hands and began studying it in earnest. She felt like all eyes were on her. “Since you’re here in Beijing, let’s get roasted duck and mutton soup. It’s very good.”
“Okay, let’s get roasted duck,” he said. “What else do you want? How about stewed lamb and stir-fried lettuce?”
The two of them would look at each other as they speak, smiles hanging onto their every word. Li Yun Wei couldn’t help but tease, “You two aren’t usually this cheesy. Why have your relationship blossomed so soon?”
“Our batteries have been charged,” replied Zhang Yuan. He Luo elbowed him in the ribs.
“I also noticed that He Luo’s very happy these days.” Ye Zhi nodded solemnly. “She’s even dancing while hanging the laundry in the hallway.”
“In the male steps, no less,” Shen Lie added.
He Luo poured tea for everyone sitting at the table. Zhang Yuan picked up a pair of disposable chopsticks and said, “It’s said that you tear the chopsticks cleanly in half, it means you will have peach blossom [romantic] luck.” When he broke them apart, it really came off neatly. He Luo stuck her tongue at him. “There will be peach blossom luck but this belongs to you. Let’s see mine.”
Li Yun Wei chirped, “Even if you have the thieving heart [intention to cheat], do you have the courage to to do so?”
“Even if I have the heart, I don’t have the ability to do it. I stood for 18 hours just to see a single He Luo. If there’s one more, my legs will be broken.” Zhang Yuan grinned. “That’s why today I really have to drink a cup or two with Shen Lie.”
“Forget it.” Shen Lie waved a hand. “I heard your people are strong drinkers. The total sales of a summer is equivalent to the entirety of the West region’s sales in a year. I’ll just teach you how to eat the roasted duck instead.” On top a Chinese prata, he placed fatty duck meat, duck skin, and then sauce-dipped slices of cucumber on it. “This is the way the authentic way to eat a Beijing duck wrap.” As he said this, he used the chopsticks to press on the edges of the prata, rolling them until it was a proper cylindrical wrap.
The non-locals watched and learned.
He Luo couldn’t hold onto the sides of the prata well enough and the wrap burst open, dispersing oil from the duck slices. Rather dispirited, she said, “How exactly can I get this done!”
“Watch again.” Shen Lie made a quick demonstration and ate a big mouthful of his wrap. “Easy.” He Luo refused to give up and tried again. Zhang Yuan smiled and patted her on her head. “Truly, it’s the diligent children who suffer. You’ve already tried a few times but hasn’t eaten even a mouthful. The duck is already gone to someone else’s belly.”
“Exactly!” Shen Lie shook his chopsticks. “You have to learn this. In the future when you demonstrate this to people, you can take the opportunity to eat the whole duck.”
“You’re both so promising!” He Luo laughed. “I’m going to go home and practice.”
The mutton soup they ordered was still nowhere to be seen even though the flame under their heated pot was starting to dim. The pot was going to dry out. Zhang Yuan shouted, “Waiter, add water! I’ll give you 10 seconds.”
“It’s pointless to use so many words,” said Li Yun Wei. “Waitress!”
She was so loud that the boys a few tables over looked over. One of them, a short-haired boy, stared at her. He observed her from head to toe and, just as she was about to scold someone, he said, “You are… Li Yun Wei?”
“How do you know me?” she frowned.
“I’m from Zhang Feng primary school.” The boy smiled, eyebrows straight. “You don’t remember?”
“Ah, Xu He Yang! We went to the same primary school, you’re from the 4th class!” Li Yun Wei clapped. “Now that I think about, didn’t you transfer to Beijing since junior high?”
“Yes, after coming here for a math competition, I ended up studying in a high school here.”
“It’s been so long since I last you. You even have a Beijing accent now.” Li Yun Wei smiled. “There are two from our hometown here, my high school classmates.” She introduced them and added, “You are even university mates now.”
“You’re Zhang Yuan?” Xu He Yang was surprised. “I’ve heard of you but I never met you.”
“You are…”
“Xu He Yang.” Turning towards Li Yun Wei, he explained, “I often see this classmate of yours on the list of school olympiads. Once I won the city’s first prize, two of the only prizes available, and was over the moon. Then when I took a better look, I realised there was still a full score award! This is the guy who won it.”
“Oh, seems like something like that has happened,” replied a thoughtful Zhang Yuan. “But that’s all 7 or 8 years ago.”
He Luo said, “I’ve never heard you mention such an awe-inspiring matter.”
“A good hero doesn’t mention the bravery of the past.” Zhang Yuan smiled and adopted the tone of a wizened old man. “I haven’t competed in many years.”
“Had you continue on your path in junior high, maybe it’s you with the opportunity to study high school here.” Xu He Yang raised his head, pretending to wipe sweat from his forehead. “I’m lucky!” He added, “But now we’ve run into each other in the same university. Which department are you in?”
“I’m here to see her.” Zhang Yuan cocked his thumb at He Luo.
“This guy is a classic good boyfriend, he’s here for He Luo.” Li Yun Wei smiled.
He Luo asked for Xu He Yang’s major and said, “Oh we took the same Mao Ze Dong’s Philosophy class together. The monitor is also from northeast. After class he’d always add the phrase, “We’re now liberated. We can now go and eat pork noodles.” The two persons from the same hometown were reminded fondly of their hometown speciality and exchanged contact numbers.
On the way back to the dorm, a gingko leaf spun and fell on He Luo’s hair. Zhang Yuan picked it up and said, “The yellow of gingko, the autumn of Beijing, the day is coming.”
“Why are you suddenly so sentimental?” He Luo smiled. “Were you thinking of the book Therefore All of Autumn?”
When they read the book in their third year in high school, they were also studying the Beijing map. He Luo had pinpointed Tsinghua park as the centre and drew a circle with the radius of 10cm on the 1:100,000 map. “Oh, we’re going as far as Xiangshan!” She laughed. “In the future, let’s go see the red leaves together, okay?”
“Alas, I broke my promise.” In the present, Zhang Yuan twisted the leaf. “I’ll bring this back and make it into a bookmark.”
He Luo was momentarily speechless. “There’s always another chance,” she said.
That break was fleeting. After Zhang Yuan left, He Luo was infinitely regretful.
*
She began to miss him everyday. She saw him in the campus everywhere, beneath the shadows, sitting in the canteen, hiding in the tree shades, playing in the supermarket. Even as she passed the dorm hall, she could hear his voice saying, “Lazy girl, did you just get up?”
Zhou Ying Yan said, “Zhang Yuan might as well have not come. Before he came, He Luo would only sigh now and then. But now she is depressed all day. Every time we eat at the canteen, she insists on sitting in the same spot they dined in earlier.”
Every semester, the school would recruit student workers. Shen Lie signed up to be a lowly clerk. During recess he complained, “A clerk’s life is bitter, I’m being ordered everyday to run around and photocopy leaflets. Am I a migrant worker?” The crowd laughed and asked him why he took on such a thankless task. Shen Lie puffed up his chest and said, “Next week the sports department will be organising a friendly match between the national basketball team and the former NBA team from US. I’m a traffic control officer. Who knows if I’ll be able to make them sign a few signatures?”
“Ah, can you bring me in?” He Luo asked.
“Why didn’t you get a ticket when they’re distributing them?”
He Luo was embarrassed to mention that she had been in a daze. She smiled and sighed. “Forget it, I’ll just not go.”
“I’ll help you ask again.” Shen Lie replied quickly. “Just leave it to me.”
What he ended up giving He Luo was a work permit. “Really?” He Luo’s eyes were bright. “Doesn’t this mean I can go over to the players’ side? Thank you!”
“Of course you have to thank me. This is my own permit.” Shen Lie slipped his hands into his pockets, standing on his tip toes. “There aren’t any extra tickets. I’ll just not go. I’m not that interested in basketball anyway.”
“Ah, how can I take this? Besides, don’t you have to control the traffic?”
“Don’t care. The rest of the department will take of it.” Shen Lie was embarrassed as he said this. With a sheepish smile, he added, “To be honest I’m just a tiny screw in the revolution machine. Without me, the communist machine will still function.” He spoke this in rapid fire, like a machine gun.
He Luo really wanted to go so without humility, she said, “Okay! I owe you a favour.” After watching the match, she talked to Zhang Yuan on the phone about it.
Zhang Yuan said, “Look at your excitement. I thought you’ve met Uncle Jordan.”
“I thought there will at least be one veteran NBA star but who knows it’s all third-tier old players.” He Luo laughed. “But it’s still very cool to be at the scene. I took the risk of being kicked out of the venue and went up to the VIP area. I took many clear photos, I’ll send you them some other day.”
“Which row were you supposed to be seated in?”
“I don’t have a ticket. Shen Lie gave me his work permit and went to play at the university’s fair. Oh right, does your university have such activities of luring new students? I never hear you talk about it.”
“I’m not interested in clubs or students’ associations and I don’t want to give into bureaucracy,” he replied.
He Luo burst out laughing. “But you’re still a cadre, aren’t you? Monitor. Zhang. Yuan.”
“I’m actually very tired. I don’t think I fit the role,” Zhang Yuan said. “You know, I’m actually a restless person. I don’t like rules and I’m playful. I don’t have any concept of time either. I’m not an active member of the party… being forced to resign is just a matter of time.”
“Very profound self-criticism,” He Luo said. “But there’s actually many other activities outside of student unions and clubs. They’re not all bureaucratic.”
“Life is only wonderful at your university. On our side, it’s a lot more boring.” His tone was flat and she didn’t know how to respond.
In the next few days, there were no phone calls, no correspondence.
*
He Luo was busy with midterms, for everyday of a week. Her department dean told them at the beginning of their year, “Whoever who fail must drop out. The curriculum of our department is difficult. Every batch there is at least 10% of people who won’t be able to get their degrees.” After discounting those who scored higher than she did in other provinces, those who majored in science over those in liberal arts, no matter how she thought about it, she felt she was firmly in that 10%. After a stressful and frightful exam week, it was not as horrifying as she first thought but she was exhausted. Only after she binged on sleep over the weekend, did she realise that there had been no news from Zhang Yuan since.
Perhaps he also had his midterms. He Luo pondered over this and prepared to give him a call. She planned to choose a few topics to talk to him over the phone but after thinking about it, all she could come up with was related to her studies.
She had been brainwashed by the exams.
Back in her hometown, the north wind was already blowing and it had been 2 to 3 days since the first snow. In Beijing, the skies were still clear and sunlight was still weaving through gingko leaves.
That night He Luo sat alone in her bed and, as soon as it was about 9, she ran to the phone booth to queue. Even if she could only talk for three minutes. Even if she only ask about weather. That would be good enough.
In front of her, a girl who appeared to also be a freshman was describing about how she failed her chemistry experiment by crushing a small test tube. He Luo squirmed hearing it, imaging the small shards of glass hurting herself. The other person on the line should be the girl’s boyfriend. He softly comforted her as the girl cried and smiled coyly. She then lowered her voice and asked, “Did you miss me? Did you hug the teddy bear I gifted you everyday…”
He Luo could hear no more.
It seemed that she had never used such a tone with Zhang Yuan. He Luo wondered if she tried, would he react by getting goosebumps all over and ended up with a short circuit? Or would he laugh shortly and adopt the same tone? Both seemed like things he would do. Perhaps she should try it. When it was finally her turn, she dialled his number and waited.
A sweaty Zhang Yuan was dragged from the basketball court to the restaurant to celebrate a classmate’s birthday. He was drenched in the smell of smoke and alcohol. By the time he returned, it was too late to go to bathroom, so he went and got himself two bottles of hot water instead. Halfway through him washing his hair in the washroom, a roommate called him. “Your pager’s ringing, it’s a Beijing number!”
Without caring for the temperature of the water, he dipped the basin over his head to wash off the foam in his hair. He dried his hair and ran to the his table to get his beeper.
The autumn wind was sweeping the leaves, the weather was gradually chilling. As time past, He Luo pulled her collars up higher. She stared at the lonely stars in the sky.
The boy behind her kept asking, “Classmate, how much longer will you take?”
“Another 5 more minutes, okay?”
“We’ve all been waiting for so long. If you’re not going to use the phone, then please don’t occupy the space.” The boy began to complain.
He Luo turned around in anger. “Do you want me to ask you to wait for five minutes, and another five minutes more, or do you want me to call home right now and chat for half an hour? Well?” She was not at all polite.
“Five minutes. You said so…” the boy still stammered.
Only after He Luo levelled a cold glare at him, did he shut up.
Tick tock, tick tock. It was as if she could hear the pace of time. The boy had stopped complaining. He pulled out a lighter and snapped it open and close according to the time on the phone screen.
He Luo was initially quite angered but after a second thought, perhaps the boy’s family or lover was also waiting in anxiety for him. Her heart softened.
The dimming flame was finally blown out by a gust of wind.
“I’m not waiting anymore,” she said in a low voice. The boy gloated.
It has been 20 minutes.
Zhang Yuan had ran all the way outside. In a snowing day, there was almost no one who would go out to make a call. He soon found a phone booth and had jammed his phone card in when he noticed it was so cold that the LCD screen was not even lit. He ran to his department head’s office and dialled the number over and over. But the phone was always engaged. When he looked carefully at the time, he saw that the paging had came half an hour ago.
Beijing must also be turning cool. Who would be waiting in the cold for so long? Zhang Yuan couldn’t help his disappointment.
His trip to Beijing was a bag of blessing and disappointment. Before he could savour the joy of reunion, there were disturbing thoughts threatening him. When He Luo called Shen Lie omnipotent, he was embarrassed. It was a wake-up call for him. In his heart he introduced it was not her intention, she even avoided the topic of their college entrance exam and his failure. But it inadvertently revealed her own thoughts. He Luo was such a practical person. How would he looked to her? Did she find him too naive and too unreliable?
Zhang Yuan had tried to hide his fear deep in him but he knew He Luo still caught onto his hesitation. Why did he like a girl with such a thoughtful, inquisitive mind? He remembered how someone once told him that one should look for a girl who would look up to him, he would be more relaxed.
But He Luo’s occasional clumsiness, occasional slyness, her shy thoughtfulness, her light smile, her slight frown - all those in his eyes were indescribably good. He remembered their good old days, where their youth was their only obstacle.
Zhang Yuan hated their separation and estrangement at that moment.
Walking back, he realised he was still carrying his towel and wearing only a thin sweater. The cold wind was still blowing, covering his wet hair in light frost. Breathing out white smoke, he thought of He Luo’s hearty laughter and derived warm from that memory.
[illustration by Jiwoon Pak]
After returning from her camp, Li Yun Wei called He Luo and insisted on coming over. She was worried her friend would be depressed the entire break. Shen Lie, as promised, managed to get the train tickets. So He Luo took the chance to invite Ye Zhi and got her old and new friends together to eat at the small restaurant outside the campus.
Li Yun Wei laughed when she saw Zhang Yuan. “My old deskmate, why don’t you speak up if you’re going to come? You made me worry about He Luo for nothing.”
Zhang Yuan picked up the menu. “How is it for nothing? I’m treating you to dinner. This is Zhang Yuan’s first bloodletting in Beijing.”
“Let’s hurry up and eat!” Li Yun Wei said. “When it gets late, it’s not safe to walk around our campus. I heard a girl even got robbed sometime ago.”
“The evening paper I bought on my way here also reported that,” Shen Lie said, taking out the newspaper.
Li Yun Wei took it and studied it carefully. She asked He Luo, “I have a question. Many of such reports would say the woman who bite the suspect’s tongue off and that’s how they solve the crime. Isn’t it strange? Even if it’s biting, won’t it just be biting the suspect’s lips?”
He Luo busied herself with gulping her hot tea. The heat has already reached her forehead. “Have you finished reading the menu?” A flustered He Luo ripped the menu from Zhang Yuan’s hands and began studying it in earnest. She felt like all eyes were on her. “Since you’re here in Beijing, let’s get roasted duck and mutton soup. It’s very good.”
“Okay, let’s get roasted duck,” he said. “What else do you want? How about stewed lamb and stir-fried lettuce?”
The two of them would look at each other as they speak, smiles hanging onto their every word. Li Yun Wei couldn’t help but tease, “You two aren’t usually this cheesy. Why have your relationship blossomed so soon?”
“Our batteries have been charged,” replied Zhang Yuan. He Luo elbowed him in the ribs.
“I also noticed that He Luo’s very happy these days.” Ye Zhi nodded solemnly. “She’s even dancing while hanging the laundry in the hallway.”
“In the male steps, no less,” Shen Lie added.
He Luo poured tea for everyone sitting at the table. Zhang Yuan picked up a pair of disposable chopsticks and said, “It’s said that you tear the chopsticks cleanly in half, it means you will have peach blossom [romantic] luck.” When he broke them apart, it really came off neatly. He Luo stuck her tongue at him. “There will be peach blossom luck but this belongs to you. Let’s see mine.”
Li Yun Wei chirped, “Even if you have the thieving heart [intention to cheat], do you have the courage to to do so?”
“Even if I have the heart, I don’t have the ability to do it. I stood for 18 hours just to see a single He Luo. If there’s one more, my legs will be broken.” Zhang Yuan grinned. “That’s why today I really have to drink a cup or two with Shen Lie.”
“Forget it.” Shen Lie waved a hand. “I heard your people are strong drinkers. The total sales of a summer is equivalent to the entirety of the West region’s sales in a year. I’ll just teach you how to eat the roasted duck instead.” On top a Chinese prata, he placed fatty duck meat, duck skin, and then sauce-dipped slices of cucumber on it. “This is the way the authentic way to eat a Beijing duck wrap.” As he said this, he used the chopsticks to press on the edges of the prata, rolling them until it was a proper cylindrical wrap.
The non-locals watched and learned.
He Luo couldn’t hold onto the sides of the prata well enough and the wrap burst open, dispersing oil from the duck slices. Rather dispirited, she said, “How exactly can I get this done!”
“Watch again.” Shen Lie made a quick demonstration and ate a big mouthful of his wrap. “Easy.” He Luo refused to give up and tried again. Zhang Yuan smiled and patted her on her head. “Truly, it’s the diligent children who suffer. You’ve already tried a few times but hasn’t eaten even a mouthful. The duck is already gone to someone else’s belly.”
“Exactly!” Shen Lie shook his chopsticks. “You have to learn this. In the future when you demonstrate this to people, you can take the opportunity to eat the whole duck.”
“You’re both so promising!” He Luo laughed. “I’m going to go home and practice.”
The mutton soup they ordered was still nowhere to be seen even though the flame under their heated pot was starting to dim. The pot was going to dry out. Zhang Yuan shouted, “Waiter, add water! I’ll give you 10 seconds.”
“It’s pointless to use so many words,” said Li Yun Wei. “Waitress!”
She was so loud that the boys a few tables over looked over. One of them, a short-haired boy, stared at her. He observed her from head to toe and, just as she was about to scold someone, he said, “You are… Li Yun Wei?”
“How do you know me?” she frowned.
“I’m from Zhang Feng primary school.” The boy smiled, eyebrows straight. “You don’t remember?”
“Ah, Xu He Yang! We went to the same primary school, you’re from the 4th class!” Li Yun Wei clapped. “Now that I think about, didn’t you transfer to Beijing since junior high?”
“Yes, after coming here for a math competition, I ended up studying in a high school here.”
“It’s been so long since I last you. You even have a Beijing accent now.” Li Yun Wei smiled. “There are two from our hometown here, my high school classmates.” She introduced them and added, “You are even university mates now.”
“You’re Zhang Yuan?” Xu He Yang was surprised. “I’ve heard of you but I never met you.”
“You are…”
“Xu He Yang.” Turning towards Li Yun Wei, he explained, “I often see this classmate of yours on the list of school olympiads. Once I won the city’s first prize, two of the only prizes available, and was over the moon. Then when I took a better look, I realised there was still a full score award! This is the guy who won it.”
“Oh, seems like something like that has happened,” replied a thoughtful Zhang Yuan. “But that’s all 7 or 8 years ago.”
He Luo said, “I’ve never heard you mention such an awe-inspiring matter.”
“A good hero doesn’t mention the bravery of the past.” Zhang Yuan smiled and adopted the tone of a wizened old man. “I haven’t competed in many years.”
“Had you continue on your path in junior high, maybe it’s you with the opportunity to study high school here.” Xu He Yang raised his head, pretending to wipe sweat from his forehead. “I’m lucky!” He added, “But now we’ve run into each other in the same university. Which department are you in?”
“I’m here to see her.” Zhang Yuan cocked his thumb at He Luo.
“This guy is a classic good boyfriend, he’s here for He Luo.” Li Yun Wei smiled.
He Luo asked for Xu He Yang’s major and said, “Oh we took the same Mao Ze Dong’s Philosophy class together. The monitor is also from northeast. After class he’d always add the phrase, “We’re now liberated. We can now go and eat pork noodles.” The two persons from the same hometown were reminded fondly of their hometown speciality and exchanged contact numbers.
On the way back to the dorm, a gingko leaf spun and fell on He Luo’s hair. Zhang Yuan picked it up and said, “The yellow of gingko, the autumn of Beijing, the day is coming.”
“Why are you suddenly so sentimental?” He Luo smiled. “Were you thinking of the book Therefore All of Autumn?”
When they read the book in their third year in high school, they were also studying the Beijing map. He Luo had pinpointed Tsinghua park as the centre and drew a circle with the radius of 10cm on the 1:100,000 map. “Oh, we’re going as far as Xiangshan!” She laughed. “In the future, let’s go see the red leaves together, okay?”
“Alas, I broke my promise.” In the present, Zhang Yuan twisted the leaf. “I’ll bring this back and make it into a bookmark.”
He Luo was momentarily speechless. “There’s always another chance,” she said.
That break was fleeting. After Zhang Yuan left, He Luo was infinitely regretful.
*
She began to miss him everyday. She saw him in the campus everywhere, beneath the shadows, sitting in the canteen, hiding in the tree shades, playing in the supermarket. Even as she passed the dorm hall, she could hear his voice saying, “Lazy girl, did you just get up?”
Zhou Ying Yan said, “Zhang Yuan might as well have not come. Before he came, He Luo would only sigh now and then. But now she is depressed all day. Every time we eat at the canteen, she insists on sitting in the same spot they dined in earlier.”
Every semester, the school would recruit student workers. Shen Lie signed up to be a lowly clerk. During recess he complained, “A clerk’s life is bitter, I’m being ordered everyday to run around and photocopy leaflets. Am I a migrant worker?” The crowd laughed and asked him why he took on such a thankless task. Shen Lie puffed up his chest and said, “Next week the sports department will be organising a friendly match between the national basketball team and the former NBA team from US. I’m a traffic control officer. Who knows if I’ll be able to make them sign a few signatures?”
“Ah, can you bring me in?” He Luo asked.
“Why didn’t you get a ticket when they’re distributing them?”
He Luo was embarrassed to mention that she had been in a daze. She smiled and sighed. “Forget it, I’ll just not go.”
“I’ll help you ask again.” Shen Lie replied quickly. “Just leave it to me.”
What he ended up giving He Luo was a work permit. “Really?” He Luo’s eyes were bright. “Doesn’t this mean I can go over to the players’ side? Thank you!”
“Of course you have to thank me. This is my own permit.” Shen Lie slipped his hands into his pockets, standing on his tip toes. “There aren’t any extra tickets. I’ll just not go. I’m not that interested in basketball anyway.”
“Ah, how can I take this? Besides, don’t you have to control the traffic?”
“Don’t care. The rest of the department will take of it.” Shen Lie was embarrassed as he said this. With a sheepish smile, he added, “To be honest I’m just a tiny screw in the revolution machine. Without me, the communist machine will still function.” He spoke this in rapid fire, like a machine gun.
He Luo really wanted to go so without humility, she said, “Okay! I owe you a favour.” After watching the match, she talked to Zhang Yuan on the phone about it.
Zhang Yuan said, “Look at your excitement. I thought you’ve met Uncle Jordan.”
“I thought there will at least be one veteran NBA star but who knows it’s all third-tier old players.” He Luo laughed. “But it’s still very cool to be at the scene. I took the risk of being kicked out of the venue and went up to the VIP area. I took many clear photos, I’ll send you them some other day.”
“Which row were you supposed to be seated in?”
“I don’t have a ticket. Shen Lie gave me his work permit and went to play at the university’s fair. Oh right, does your university have such activities of luring new students? I never hear you talk about it.”
“I’m not interested in clubs or students’ associations and I don’t want to give into bureaucracy,” he replied.
He Luo burst out laughing. “But you’re still a cadre, aren’t you? Monitor. Zhang. Yuan.”
“I’m actually very tired. I don’t think I fit the role,” Zhang Yuan said. “You know, I’m actually a restless person. I don’t like rules and I’m playful. I don’t have any concept of time either. I’m not an active member of the party… being forced to resign is just a matter of time.”
“Very profound self-criticism,” He Luo said. “But there’s actually many other activities outside of student unions and clubs. They’re not all bureaucratic.”
“Life is only wonderful at your university. On our side, it’s a lot more boring.” His tone was flat and she didn’t know how to respond.
In the next few days, there were no phone calls, no correspondence.
*
He Luo was busy with midterms, for everyday of a week. Her department dean told them at the beginning of their year, “Whoever who fail must drop out. The curriculum of our department is difficult. Every batch there is at least 10% of people who won’t be able to get their degrees.” After discounting those who scored higher than she did in other provinces, those who majored in science over those in liberal arts, no matter how she thought about it, she felt she was firmly in that 10%. After a stressful and frightful exam week, it was not as horrifying as she first thought but she was exhausted. Only after she binged on sleep over the weekend, did she realise that there had been no news from Zhang Yuan since.
Perhaps he also had his midterms. He Luo pondered over this and prepared to give him a call. She planned to choose a few topics to talk to him over the phone but after thinking about it, all she could come up with was related to her studies.
She had been brainwashed by the exams.
Back in her hometown, the north wind was already blowing and it had been 2 to 3 days since the first snow. In Beijing, the skies were still clear and sunlight was still weaving through gingko leaves.
That night He Luo sat alone in her bed and, as soon as it was about 9, she ran to the phone booth to queue. Even if she could only talk for three minutes. Even if she only ask about weather. That would be good enough.
In front of her, a girl who appeared to also be a freshman was describing about how she failed her chemistry experiment by crushing a small test tube. He Luo squirmed hearing it, imaging the small shards of glass hurting herself. The other person on the line should be the girl’s boyfriend. He softly comforted her as the girl cried and smiled coyly. She then lowered her voice and asked, “Did you miss me? Did you hug the teddy bear I gifted you everyday…”
He Luo could hear no more.
It seemed that she had never used such a tone with Zhang Yuan. He Luo wondered if she tried, would he react by getting goosebumps all over and ended up with a short circuit? Or would he laugh shortly and adopt the same tone? Both seemed like things he would do. Perhaps she should try it. When it was finally her turn, she dialled his number and waited.
A sweaty Zhang Yuan was dragged from the basketball court to the restaurant to celebrate a classmate’s birthday. He was drenched in the smell of smoke and alcohol. By the time he returned, it was too late to go to bathroom, so he went and got himself two bottles of hot water instead. Halfway through him washing his hair in the washroom, a roommate called him. “Your pager’s ringing, it’s a Beijing number!”
Without caring for the temperature of the water, he dipped the basin over his head to wash off the foam in his hair. He dried his hair and ran to the his table to get his beeper.
The autumn wind was sweeping the leaves, the weather was gradually chilling. As time past, He Luo pulled her collars up higher. She stared at the lonely stars in the sky.
The boy behind her kept asking, “Classmate, how much longer will you take?”
“Another 5 more minutes, okay?”
“We’ve all been waiting for so long. If you’re not going to use the phone, then please don’t occupy the space.” The boy began to complain.
He Luo turned around in anger. “Do you want me to ask you to wait for five minutes, and another five minutes more, or do you want me to call home right now and chat for half an hour? Well?” She was not at all polite.
“Five minutes. You said so…” the boy still stammered.
Only after He Luo levelled a cold glare at him, did he shut up.
Tick tock, tick tock. It was as if she could hear the pace of time. The boy had stopped complaining. He pulled out a lighter and snapped it open and close according to the time on the phone screen.
He Luo was initially quite angered but after a second thought, perhaps the boy’s family or lover was also waiting in anxiety for him. Her heart softened.
The dimming flame was finally blown out by a gust of wind.
“I’m not waiting anymore,” she said in a low voice. The boy gloated.
It has been 20 minutes.
Zhang Yuan had ran all the way outside. In a snowing day, there was almost no one who would go out to make a call. He soon found a phone booth and had jammed his phone card in when he noticed it was so cold that the LCD screen was not even lit. He ran to his department head’s office and dialled the number over and over. But the phone was always engaged. When he looked carefully at the time, he saw that the paging had came half an hour ago.
Beijing must also be turning cool. Who would be waiting in the cold for so long? Zhang Yuan couldn’t help his disappointment.
His trip to Beijing was a bag of blessing and disappointment. Before he could savour the joy of reunion, there were disturbing thoughts threatening him. When He Luo called Shen Lie omnipotent, he was embarrassed. It was a wake-up call for him. In his heart he introduced it was not her intention, she even avoided the topic of their college entrance exam and his failure. But it inadvertently revealed her own thoughts. He Luo was such a practical person. How would he looked to her? Did she find him too naive and too unreliable?
Zhang Yuan had tried to hide his fear deep in him but he knew He Luo still caught onto his hesitation. Why did he like a girl with such a thoughtful, inquisitive mind? He remembered how someone once told him that one should look for a girl who would look up to him, he would be more relaxed.
But He Luo’s occasional clumsiness, occasional slyness, her shy thoughtfulness, her light smile, her slight frown - all those in his eyes were indescribably good. He remembered their good old days, where their youth was their only obstacle.
Zhang Yuan hated their separation and estrangement at that moment.
Walking back, he realised he was still carrying his towel and wearing only a thin sweater. The cold wind was still blowing, covering his wet hair in light frost. Breathing out white smoke, he thought of He Luo’s hearty laughter and derived warm from that memory.
[illustration by Jiwoon Pak]
