“But conflicted as he was, the devil had yet another devil whispering to him. That other devil said, ‘It’s not stealing life, right? Besides, doesn’t she want this too? So what’s there to worry about?’ And, ‘You want to see your research complete, don’t you?’ That was certainly true. The devil did want to see it. The right and wrong of stealing life, the right and wrong of what his subject wished for. Such things were of no consequence. He saw right through me, that other devil. And in accordance with those words, I remade her. Chris. In other words, you.”
“…So basically, you followed your desires and remade [Chris].”
“Well, exactly that.”
Arc admitted it with anticlimactic ease.
The penetrating cold in his gaze lowered its head; his expression was now pretty much the same as usual.
‘I’ve said what there is to say. So if you’re going to condemn me, condemn me.’ That’s what he seemed to be saying.
“Master! Why would you…!”
And taking the bait, Irene flared up at him.
But even she didn’t seem to know what to say to Arc, who was, in a sense, confessing to all his crimes.
Even so, in her emotional state, she wouldn’t be able to settle down unless she said something.
“To tell you the truth, I think that no matter what I say, I can’t be forgiven. But if I had to make some excuse for myself, at that time I was possessed. By the invocation stones, or perhaps magic… in other words, I’m the devil himself.”
“…”
An unspeakable atmosphere hung in the air.
I didn’t want to hear any more of this. That was how I’d come to feel.
But in fact, simply by learning of what Arc had done, I was already able to piece together much more.
That’s why what I wanted to ask about wasn’t this, but rather Leon and Lucien. And what role Tetra’s Heart played in all of this.
“…Honestly, I couldn’t care less about your atonement. More importantly, there are still things you haven’t said. Why don’t you tell me about them? What happened afterward?”
My words blunt and cold, I remembered that I was standing up and sat back down in my seat.
Looking unsatisfied, Aira and Palmira did the same. Because I wasn’t saying anything as the person in question, it didn’t matter if they had their own reservations. They had to stay silent, just like I’d chosen to.
Upon hearing that, Arc instead looked relieved, and he smiled with a self-deprecating air.
Surprisingly enough, maybe he didn’t want to be condemned.
“To tell you the truth, it was Prince Lucien who instigated me. Though I don’t mean to say that he’s entirely evil. But his objective is slightly different from mine — it’s Tetra’s Heart. He wanted to make Chris into its vessel. Well, once she knew that, it couldn’t be taken back.”
“Couldn’t be taken back?”
Perhaps because he’d said what he wanted to say, Arc’s tone had completely returned to normal.
“Yeah, I think you’re probably aware of this, but after that, her magical power ran berserk and consumed her soul. I think Prince Lucien did something to her. It seems something happened with Prince Leon then as well, but to be honest, I don’t know much about the details. By the time I realized, she was already broken.”
“‘Broken’… Weren’t you the one responsible for that!? Master!”
Again, Irene blew up at Arc and his excessively matter-of-fact attitude, standing from the table.
I understood that she wanted to say something. I felt the same way. To say nothing of [Chris], who was certainly here with me. Even if it was easy to say that she died, she couldn’t accept it emotionally.
“Chris! How about you say something too! Isn’t this about you!?”
“Irene. I’m happy that you’re angry for me. But right now, let me listen to Arc’s story.”
Even so, I chided Irene.
I was furious. But right now, more than that, I wanted to make things clear.
Just what exactly did Leon do to [Chris]?
Under the elm tree, he definitely said that he met her.
In other words, [Chris] was able to meet Leon. If his words were to be believed, he didn’t know what ultimately happened to [Chris] then.
However, she was betrayed. Or perhaps, she thought she was. It felt that way. What was it?
I tried to remember.
[Our reunion wasn’t like the past… it was buried in formality.]
That’s what Leon said.
I cross-referenced it against [Chris’s] memories.
[I wanted to see him]
[So I]
[But even so]
— All of a sudden, I had a feeling that I understood, just a little bit, why [Chris] had felt betrayed.
It might be that Leon had already known too.
‘No matter what happens, believe in me,’ he said.
Maybe he also felt that it was selfish of him to say so. But wasn’t it because he understood that, because he recognized it, that he said those words?
That day ten years ago, they’d had a small misunderstanding, but it was about this, right?
Then, before he could fix it, Lucien had thoroughly destroyed everything.
[Why]
[Big Brother, why me]
[So that’s all I’m good for!?]
Bit by bit, fragments of memory boiled up like foam from the bottom of my heart. Incomplete, fleeting, faint. But now, they were trying to take shape.
It was suffocating, heartbreaking. It was unbearable.
She wanted to see him, wanted to meet him. But even though she put everything on the line just for that, when she saw him, she definitely —
‘I want to see Leon.’
Suddenly, that thought came to me.
“…Certainly, I was the one primarily responsible for her destruction. But I wanted to protect her dignity, if only that. So I hid her. In the Artor Ruins. Then, I retired from the Schola to escape Prince Lucien’s pursuit, and watched over her from Brellwandy. Artor was convenient. There are still many hidden labyrinths there. Using the ancients’ technology to preserve her was ideal. With that technology, and the rumor that Artor had [run dry], I protected her. For ten years… Ten years. Well… it’s not enough to atone for what I’ve done.”
And here, finally, the current me and [Chris] changed places.
So as I thought, [Chris] was in Artor when my bumbling ass came by and possessed her.
It’s just, I was able to predict that much, but I never imagined that the whole story would be Arc’s doing.
“…But well, by the time I noticed, the girl that I put all those measures in place to protect came back to life and suddenly appeared before me… Haha, I’d never been so astonished in my life. And… I mean, well, anyway, I suppose that’s what I have to say about it?”
With a self-mocking smile, Arc didn’t seem as surprised as he claimed to be. After a moment’s hesitation over what to say, he wrapped things up like that.
From his state, I felt slightly like something was out of place. Arc came off as a weirdo, both when I met him and now, so it was barely perceptible, but intuitively, I sensed he was faking something.
Like that deliberate show of eccentricity.
That naturally led me to a certain conclusion, but I didn’t consider saying it out loud.
I didn’t think it was appropriate to voice my borderline delusions.
“Mister Arc, you loved Miss Chris, didn’t you?”
And Aira, who had been patiently listening without a word until now, readily voiced the same conclusion I’d reached.
“…What makes you think that?”
Unlike Irene and me, both of us surprised by this extremely weird topic, Arc unexpectedly responded with amusement, his expression unchanged.
“For some reason or another, I suppose. It’s intuition. Intuition.”
Aira’s unflinching response was too vague.
Even Arc was taken aback, surprise registering on his face, but after a moment, he burst into laughter.
“A–ha–ha–ha–! Intuition, is it? The fabled woman’s intuition? Haha — , I see, that’s a solid enough argument. But I don’t know about that. Though it was ten years ago, I was, mmm, just shy of thirty. She was eighteen. I was nearly twice her age. Wouldn’t that be kind of criminal? Ahahaha — ”
Almost bellowing with laughter, Arc seemed to be sincerely enjoying himself, holding his stomach as he laughed himself silly.
Sure, when you put it like that, I do feel like there’s quite an age gap.
For her part, Aira was staring intently at Arc in all seriousness in spite of his ridicule.
“Ahahaha–…Haaa… — Well, that’s why it wasn’t out of love or anything like that — but you might say she was important to me…”
After laughing for some time, Arc suddenly seemed to return to his senses, and he stared off into the distance as he answered.
He seemed to be running after distant memories.
Though there was a version of her here in front of him, he was looking somewhere else. Because it was definitely his [Chris] that he was chasing.
I felt just a little guilty.
Considering Arc’s last words, it seemed that things between him and [Chris] weren’t quite what I’d imagined earlier.
Clearly, it might all be my wild delusion. [Chris] wouldn’t tell me anything.
That’s why I felt as if it were something unspeakably desolate.
“There’s no need to make a face like that, you know. I’ll be sad, knowing it’s my fault that you’re wearing an expression like that when you look just like Chris. Alright then! Don’t you have other things you want to ask about? …For instance, the matter of Prince Leon.”
That’s right.
It’s true, that’s what I want to know the most. Just what is Leon’s involvement in all this? That sinister seal. How is he connected to Tetra’s Heart? What were he and Lucien trying to do? Why was I necessary?
I can’t help but worry about all of it.
But.
“…I want to know, but I’m okay for now…”
I mumbled, in a voice so small even I had to shake my head.
I want to know.
But I don’t think it’s the time or place for me to ask. Not here, in Leon’s absence.
And, if possible, I want to hear it from Leon’s mouth.
I’m sure I’ll regret it if I don’t. I get the feeling it’s not unreasonable have some reservations about it.
I might misunderstand some of his thoughts. It might become something that can’t ever be taken back, like with [Chris].
That was the one thing I wouldn’t be able to take.
“Is that so?”
Maybe he understood, maybe he didn’t, but Arc readily shut his mouth.
After mentally preparing myself to be asked ‘Why?’, I found it a let-down.
“By the way, Regnum. Where’s Prince Leon?”
Then, Arc asked Regnum a surprising thing.
I’d kinda wanted to ask about that too. Since I was sure Arc had his reasons for not calling Leon here, his question came as a surprise.
Speaking of which, I get why Arc’s here, but what about Regnum? Here I was thinking he’d have something to say, but all he did was take out sweets in the beginning. And since then, he’d been quietly enjoying his tea by himself. It was almost like he wasn’t here at all.
“…There is no question that Lord Leon is currently under surveillance. Therefore, should he come here, Chris’s location will be discovered. On the other hand, now that we are within the city walls and Maddox’s employer has been confirmed, we must avoid moving carelessly and putting Lord Leon in an emergency situation. Vyde is accompanying him, but that alone is not enough to dispel security concerns. As Rupert is currently on his way to the capital, waiting for his arrival would be a good idea.”
Once the topic was brought up, Regnum suddenly started getting all chatty.
So that’s how things stand?
Still, Leon had decided not to come here solely out of consideration for me.
Thank god. I wanted to know there was some reason for it… I wanted proof that his absence didn’t necessarily mean that, for example, he’d betrayed me in the true sense of the word. While I struggled to keep my emotions out of my expression, I was inwardly relieved.
It’s not that I didn’t believe in him.
I’d decided to have faith in Leon. He said he wanted me to believe in him no matter what happened.
But even so, what I didn’t know made me uneasy.
‘Weak, aren’t you,’ I mocked myself.
“I will say this once.”
While I was thinking, Regnum continued speaking.
“Last night, when Lord Leon realized that you had vanished, he was in a terrible panic. It was difficult to calm him down. That was his state of mind until I made contact with Arc and confirmed that you were not in imminent danger, I believe. This came about because of your reckless behavior. You should honestly reflect on what you’ve done.”
When Regnum mercilessly laid out the consequences of my behavior, I had nothing to say in response.
I know, but getting told off can’t be helped either. In a sense, Regnum’s words were also Leon’s honest feelings.
[What do you think you’re doing?]
Something like that, I guess.
And if I thought about how last night must have been for him, it was honestly painful. After saying he would protect me, Leon no doubt went out of his mind searching for me.
Biting my lip, I hung my head.
“And Palmira. You are Chris’s attendant, so you cannot afford to simply cater to her whims. It is natural for an attendant to dispense with that in times of danger, but you cannot court danger in the first place.”
“Wait, Regnum. That was my…”
“It’s okay, Chris. He’s right.”
Regnum even had words for Palmira. I tried to shield her, only to be stopped by Palmira herself.
Though she was in low spirits, she was looking firmly at Regnum, without drooping her head.
“But…”
“I have to hear it. I’m your knight. That’s why it would be infinitely worse not to hear it…”
Palmira said, bobbing her head to Regnum.
Assaulted by a ruthless guilt, I found myself more and more unable to say anything.
“But conflicted as he was, the devil had yet another devil whispering to him. That other devil said, ‘It’s not stealing life, right? Besides, doesn’t she want this too? So what’s there to worry about?’ And, ‘You want to see your research complete, don’t you?’ That was certainly true. The devil did want to see it. The right and wrong of stealing life, the right and wrong of what his subject wished for. Such things were of no consequence. He saw right through me, that other devil. And in accordance with those words, I remade her. Chris. In other words, you.”
“…So basically, you followed your desires and remade [Chris].”
“Well, exactly that.”
Arc admitted it with anticlimactic ease.
The penetrating cold in his gaze lowered its head; his expression was now pretty much the same as usual.
‘I’ve said what there is to say. So if you’re going to condemn me, condemn me.’ That’s what he seemed to be saying.
“Master! Why would you…!”
And taking the bait, Irene flared up at him.
But even she didn’t seem to know what to say to Arc, who was, in a sense, confessing to all his crimes.
Even so, in her emotional state, she wouldn’t be able to settle down unless she said something.
“To tell you the truth, I think that no matter what I say, I can’t be forgiven. But if I had to make some excuse for myself, at that time I was possessed. By the invocation stones, or perhaps magic… in other words, I’m the devil himself.”
“…”
An unspeakable atmosphere hung in the air.
I didn’t want to hear any more of this. That was how I’d come to feel.
But in fact, simply by learning of what Arc had done, I was already able to piece together much more.
That’s why what I wanted to ask about wasn’t this, but rather Leon and Lucien. And what role Tetra’s Heart played in all of this.
“…Honestly, I couldn’t care less about your atonement. More importantly, there are still things you haven’t said. Why don’t you tell me about them? What happened afterward?”
My words blunt and cold, I remembered that I was standing up and sat back down in my seat.
Looking unsatisfied, Aira and Palmira did the same. Because I wasn’t saying anything as the person in question, it didn’t matter if they had their own reservations. They had to stay silent, just like I’d chosen to.
Upon hearing that, Arc instead looked relieved, and he smiled with a self-deprecating air.
Surprisingly enough, maybe he didn’t want to be condemned.
“To tell you the truth, it was Prince Lucien who instigated me. Though I don’t mean to say that he’s entirely evil. But his objective is slightly different from mine — it’s Tetra’s Heart. He wanted to make Chris into its vessel. Well, once she knew that, it couldn’t be taken back.”
“Couldn’t be taken back?”
Perhaps because he’d said what he wanted to say, Arc’s tone had completely returned to normal.
“Yeah, I think you’re probably aware of this, but after that, her magical power ran berserk and consumed her soul. I think Prince Lucien did something to her. It seems something happened with Prince Leon then as well, but to be honest, I don’t know much about the details. By the time I realized, she was already broken.”
“‘Broken’… Weren’t you the one responsible for that!? Master!”
Again, Irene blew up at Arc and his excessively matter-of-fact attitude, standing from the table.
I understood that she wanted to say something. I felt the same way. To say nothing of [Chris], who was certainly here with me. Even if it was easy to say that she died, she couldn’t accept it emotionally.
“Chris! How about you say something too! Isn’t this about you!?”
“Irene. I’m happy that you’re angry for me. But right now, let me listen to Arc’s story.”
Even so, I chided Irene.
I was furious. But right now, more than that, I wanted to make things clear.
Just what exactly did Leon do to [Chris]?
Under the elm tree, he definitely said that he met her.
In other words, [Chris] was able to meet Leon. If his words were to be believed, he didn’t know what ultimately happened to [Chris] then.
However, she was betrayed. Or perhaps, she thought she was. It felt that way. What was it?
I tried to remember.
[Our reunion wasn’t like the past… it was buried in formality.]
That’s what Leon said.
I cross-referenced it against [Chris’s] memories.
[I wanted to see him]
[So I]
[But even so]
— All of a sudden, I had a feeling that I understood, just a little bit, why [Chris] had felt betrayed.
It might be that Leon had already known too.
‘No matter what happens, believe in me,’ he said.
Maybe he also felt that it was selfish of him to say so. But wasn’t it because he understood that, because he recognized it, that he said those words?
That day ten years ago, they’d had a small misunderstanding, but it was about this, right?
Then, before he could fix it, Lucien had thoroughly destroyed everything.
[Why]
[Big Brother, why me]
[So that’s all I’m good for!?]
Bit by bit, fragments of memory boiled up like foam from the bottom of my heart. Incomplete, fleeting, faint. But now, they were trying to take shape.
It was suffocating, heartbreaking. It was unbearable.
She wanted to see him, wanted to meet him. But even though she put everything on the line just for that, when she saw him, she definitely —
‘I want to see Leon.’
Suddenly, that thought came to me.
“…Certainly, I was the one primarily responsible for her destruction. But I wanted to protect her dignity, if only that. So I hid her. In the Artor Ruins. Then, I retired from the Schola to escape Prince Lucien’s pursuit, and watched over her from Brellwandy. Artor was convenient. There are still many hidden labyrinths there. Using the ancients’ technology to preserve her was ideal. With that technology, and the rumor that Artor had [run dry], I protected her. For ten years… Ten years. Well… it’s not enough to atone for what I’ve done.”
And here, finally, the current me and [Chris] changed places.
So as I thought, [Chris] was in Artor when my bumbling ass came by and possessed her.
It’s just, I was able to predict that much, but I never imagined that the whole story would be Arc’s doing.
“…But well, by the time I noticed, the girl that I put all those measures in place to protect came back to life and suddenly appeared before me… Haha, I’d never been so astonished in my life. And… I mean, well, anyway, I suppose that’s what I have to say about it?”
With a self-mocking smile, Arc didn’t seem as surprised as he claimed to be. After a moment’s hesitation over what to say, he wrapped things up like that.
From his state, I felt slightly like something was out of place. Arc came off as a weirdo, both when I met him and now, so it was barely perceptible, but intuitively, I sensed he was faking something.
Like that deliberate show of eccentricity.
That naturally led me to a certain conclusion, but I didn’t consider saying it out loud.
I didn’t think it was appropriate to voice my borderline delusions.
“Mister Arc, you loved Miss Chris, didn’t you?”
And Aira, who had been patiently listening without a word until now, readily voiced the same conclusion I’d reached.
“…What makes you think that?”
Unlike Irene and me, both of us surprised by this extremely weird topic, Arc unexpectedly responded with amusement, his expression unchanged.
“For some reason or another, I suppose. It’s intuition. Intuition.”
Aira’s unflinching response was too vague.
Even Arc was taken aback, surprise registering on his face, but after a moment, he burst into laughter.
“A–ha–ha–ha–! Intuition, is it? The fabled woman’s intuition? Haha — , I see, that’s a solid enough argument. But I don’t know about that. Though it was ten years ago, I was, mmm, just shy of thirty. She was eighteen. I was nearly twice her age. Wouldn’t that be kind of criminal? Ahahaha — ”
Almost bellowing with laughter, Arc seemed to be sincerely enjoying himself, holding his stomach as he laughed himself silly.
Sure, when you put it like that, I do feel like there’s quite an age gap.
For her part, Aira was staring intently at Arc in all seriousness in spite of his ridicule.
“Ahahaha–…Haaa… — Well, that’s why it wasn’t out of love or anything like that — but you might say she was important to me…”
After laughing for some time, Arc suddenly seemed to return to his senses, and he stared off into the distance as he answered.
He seemed to be running after distant memories.
Though there was a version of her here in front of him, he was looking somewhere else. Because it was definitely his [Chris] that he was chasing.
I felt just a little guilty.
Considering Arc’s last words, it seemed that things between him and [Chris] weren’t quite what I’d imagined earlier.
Clearly, it might all be my wild delusion. [Chris] wouldn’t tell me anything.
That’s why I felt as if it were something unspeakably desolate.
“There’s no need to make a face like that, you know. I’ll be sad, knowing it’s my fault that you’re wearing an expression like that when you look just like Chris. Alright then! Don’t you have other things you want to ask about? …For instance, the matter of Prince Leon.”
That’s right.
It’s true, that’s what I want to know the most. Just what is Leon’s involvement in all this? That sinister seal. How is he connected to Tetra’s Heart? What were he and Lucien trying to do? Why was I necessary?
I can’t help but worry about all of it.
But.
“…I want to know, but I’m okay for now…”
I mumbled, in a voice so small even I had to shake my head.
I want to know.
But I don’t think it’s the time or place for me to ask. Not here, in Leon’s absence.
And, if possible, I want to hear it from Leon’s mouth.
I’m sure I’ll regret it if I don’t. I get the feeling it’s not unreasonable have some reservations about it.
I might misunderstand some of his thoughts. It might become something that can’t ever be taken back, like with [Chris].
That was the one thing I wouldn’t be able to take.
“Is that so?”
Maybe he understood, maybe he didn’t, but Arc readily shut his mouth.
After mentally preparing myself to be asked ‘Why?’, I found it a let-down.
“By the way, Regnum. Where’s Prince Leon?”
Then, Arc asked Regnum a surprising thing.
I’d kinda wanted to ask about that too. Since I was sure Arc had his reasons for not calling Leon here, his question came as a surprise.
Speaking of which, I get why Arc’s here, but what about Regnum? Here I was thinking he’d have something to say, but all he did was take out sweets in the beginning. And since then, he’d been quietly enjoying his tea by himself. It was almost like he wasn’t here at all.
“…There is no question that Lord Leon is currently under surveillance. Therefore, should he come here, Chris’s location will be discovered. On the other hand, now that we are within the city walls and Maddox’s employer has been confirmed, we must avoid moving carelessly and putting Lord Leon in an emergency situation. Vyde is accompanying him, but that alone is not enough to dispel security concerns. As Rupert is currently on his way to the capital, waiting for his arrival would be a good idea.”
Once the topic was brought up, Regnum suddenly started getting all chatty.
So that’s how things stand?
Still, Leon had decided not to come here solely out of consideration for me.
Thank god. I wanted to know there was some reason for it… I wanted proof that his absence didn’t necessarily mean that, for example, he’d betrayed me in the true sense of the word. While I struggled to keep my emotions out of my expression, I was inwardly relieved.
It’s not that I didn’t believe in him.
I’d decided to have faith in Leon. He said he wanted me to believe in him no matter what happened.
But even so, what I didn’t know made me uneasy.
‘Weak, aren’t you,’ I mocked myself.
“I will say this once.”
While I was thinking, Regnum continued speaking.
“Last night, when Lord Leon realized that you had vanished, he was in a terrible panic. It was difficult to calm him down. That was his state of mind until I made contact with Arc and confirmed that you were not in imminent danger, I believe. This came about because of your reckless behavior. You should honestly reflect on what you’ve done.”
When Regnum mercilessly laid out the consequences of my behavior, I had nothing to say in response.
I know, but getting told off can’t be helped either. In a sense, Regnum’s words were also Leon’s honest feelings.
[What do you think you’re doing?]
Something like that, I guess.
And if I thought about how last night must have been for him, it was honestly painful. After saying he would protect me, Leon no doubt went out of his mind searching for me.
Biting my lip, I hung my head.
“And Palmira. You are Chris’s attendant, so you cannot afford to simply cater to her whims. It is natural for an attendant to dispense with that in times of danger, but you cannot court danger in the first place.”
“Wait, Regnum. That was my…”
“It’s okay, Chris. He’s right.”
Regnum even had words for Palmira. I tried to shield her, only to be stopped by Palmira herself.
Though she was in low spirits, she was looking firmly at Regnum, without drooping her head.
“But…”
“I have to hear it. I’m your knight. That’s why it would be infinitely worse not to hear it…”
Palmira said, bobbing her head to Regnum.
Assaulted by a ruthless guilt, I found myself more and more unable to say anything.
