Lin Kang paused for quite some time after that, like he did not know how to continue. In reality, he was stumped because apology was not something that he was used to do in his life.
"It was a stupid thing that I've done. Please forgive me!" Lin Kang forced out with sincerity. He would have gotten down on his knees if it would help his case. After he got the words out of his lips, Lin Kang realized it was not as hard as he thought. He did not feel the shame that he normally associated with giving apologies. In his mind, apology was equal to admission of defeat and he was not one whom defeat rested well with.
This was the first time the man had ever apologized for anything in his life, not counting the apologies he gave his parents when he was young. Those couldn't really count. He was forced into those apology but this time, he was being sincere.
Lin Kang made a discovery that day, he did not mind apologizing to his wife because his brain did not connect it to an admission of defeat. It brought him closer to him goal by improving his wife's impression of him. That might be psychologically disingenuous but at the end of the day, the man was frank with his apology.
Xiu Ling could hear the sincerity in the man's voice. Even though she told herself she no longer minded the inappropriate incident, when she heard the man's apology, the thorn that she did not know was lodged in her heart wiggled loose.
She contemplated what the man had said. Considering his actions since then and how difficult it was for him to come up with an apology due to his background, Xiu Ling had reasons to believe it was as the man said, just a huge misunderstanding. Therefore, in the end, she chose to forgive him. It was the right thing to do.
"It's alright. I forgive you."
Lin Kang smiled in relief.
Even though his apology was accepted, his job was not yet done. If anything, the apology was to set up the foundation for what he was going to propose next. The man could find no better time than this to suggest they move their relationship to the next level... as weird as that was for a married couple.
"Xiu Ling," Lin Kang said to catch her attention. He looked into her eyes as he said, "Will you give me a chance to be with you?"
He considered using the L-word but he realized it was still too soon. Lin Kang couldn't be sure he felt that way yet so saying it prematurely would only be doing to a disservice to both of them.
There was a look of surprise and bewilderment in Xiu Ling's eyes. She was not anticipating a confession when Lin Kang suggested they sit down for a talk. In fact, she had no idea he was interested in her in that way.
She thought he saw her merely as a housemate or on the better days, even as a friend. She had no clue he had romantic interest in her.
Then again, considering their history together, it was not hard to see why Xiu Ling thought that way. After all, they were already husband and wife, why would they move their relationship backwards even though Xiu Ling knew their marriage was only on paper.
Were they going to start again as boyfriend and girlfriend? What about Lin Xi? How did he fit into this equation?
Lin Kang cut through the thoughts in Xiu Ling's mind. "Honestly, I don't even know what I'm saying considering how convoluted our relationship status is." Lin Kang chuckled self-deprecatingly. "But the one thing I'm certain of is that I want a chance to be closer to you, to get to know you better, not just as a mother to Lin Xi but as a fully-independent woman.
"I'm not good with flattering and sweet words so I'm not even going to try, I'll simply tell you what I'm feeling.
"Xiu Ling, I cannot fathom what has happened recently but you have grown into an amazing woman that I'm feeling attracted to. Like I said earlier, I wish to get to know you better.
"I can see you growing and I wish to be by your side as you continue on this journey. Nothing will make me happier than that.
"Please do not get it mistaken. This is not like the contract of our so-called marriage. I do not wish to own you, to keep you under my watch, or even to stand in your way. I simply wish to be given the chance to get to know you as you continue to evolve.
"Xiu Ling, you might not realize this but there's a radiance about you now. What I want is simple, I want to be by your side as you light up the world.
"Will you give me a chance? Give us a chance?"
Xiu Ling was too shocked to give Lin Kang a response and the man noticed that. He added, "Please do not feel pressure to give me the answer right away.
"I'm not going to force myself upon you. I've realized how destructive that can be. Take as much time as you need. I want you to be comfortable with your decision. I do not want you to rush into things. I shall respect your space."
Lin Kang smiled at Xiu Ling and following his heartfelt confession, it made Xiu Ling's heart flutter.
"As you've mentioned earlier, good things take time. Speaking of which..." Lin Kang looked at the time. "It should be almost done by now."
He stood up and walked over to the fridge to retrieve the baskets of dough.
Xiu Ling joined him at the counter and told the man, "I... I'll think about it. Thank you for your understanding and the time."
She wanted to say something more, to give the issue a closure but she had too many things to think about and that was everything she could manage at the time.
Lin Kang paused for quite some time after that, like he did not know how to continue. In reality, he was stumped because apology was not something that he was used to do in his life.
"It was a stupid thing that I've done. Please forgive me!" Lin Kang forced out with sincerity. He would have gotten down on his knees if it would help his case. After he got the words out of his lips, Lin Kang realized it was not as hard as he thought. He did not feel the shame that he normally associated with giving apologies. In his mind, apology was equal to admission of defeat and he was not one whom defeat rested well with.
This was the first time the man had ever apologized for anything in his life, not counting the apologies he gave his parents when he was young. Those couldn't really count. He was forced into those apology but this time, he was being sincere.
Lin Kang made a discovery that day, he did not mind apologizing to his wife because his brain did not connect it to an admission of defeat. It brought him closer to him goal by improving his wife's impression of him. That might be psychologically disingenuous but at the end of the day, the man was frank with his apology.
Xiu Ling could hear the sincerity in the man's voice. Even though she told herself she no longer minded the inappropriate incident, when she heard the man's apology, the thorn that she did not know was lodged in her heart wiggled loose.
She contemplated what the man had said. Considering his actions since then and how difficult it was for him to come up with an apology due to his background, Xiu Ling had reasons to believe it was as the man said, just a huge misunderstanding. Therefore, in the end, she chose to forgive him. It was the right thing to do.
"It's alright. I forgive you."
Lin Kang smiled in relief.
Even though his apology was accepted, his job was not yet done. If anything, the apology was to set up the foundation for what he was going to propose next. The man could find no better time than this to suggest they move their relationship to the next level... as weird as that was for a married couple.
"Xiu Ling," Lin Kang said to catch her attention. He looked into her eyes as he said, "Will you give me a chance to be with you?"
He considered using the L-word but he realized it was still too soon. Lin Kang couldn't be sure he felt that way yet so saying it prematurely would only be doing to a disservice to both of them.
There was a look of surprise and bewilderment in Xiu Ling's eyes. She was not anticipating a confession when Lin Kang suggested they sit down for a talk. In fact, she had no idea he was interested in her in that way.
She thought he saw her merely as a housemate or on the better days, even as a friend. She had no clue he had romantic interest in her.
Then again, considering their history together, it was not hard to see why Xiu Ling thought that way. After all, they were already husband and wife, why would they move their relationship backwards even though Xiu Ling knew their marriage was only on paper.
Were they going to start again as boyfriend and girlfriend? What about Lin Xi? How did he fit into this equation?
Lin Kang cut through the thoughts in Xiu Ling's mind. "Honestly, I don't even know what I'm saying considering how convoluted our relationship status is." Lin Kang chuckled self-deprecatingly. "But the one thing I'm certain of is that I want a chance to be closer to you, to get to know you better, not just as a mother to Lin Xi but as a fully-independent woman.
"I'm not good with flattering and sweet words so I'm not even going to try, I'll simply tell you what I'm feeling.
"Xiu Ling, I cannot fathom what has happened recently but you have grown into an amazing woman that I'm feeling attracted to. Like I said earlier, I wish to get to know you better.
"I can see you growing and I wish to be by your side as you continue on this journey. Nothing will make me happier than that.
"Please do not get it mistaken. This is not like the contract of our so-called marriage. I do not wish to own you, to keep you under my watch, or even to stand in your way. I simply wish to be given the chance to get to know you as you continue to evolve.
"Xiu Ling, you might not realize this but there's a radiance about you now. What I want is simple, I want to be by your side as you light up the world.
"Will you give me a chance? Give us a chance?"
Xiu Ling was too shocked to give Lin Kang a response and the man noticed that. He added, "Please do not feel pressure to give me the answer right away.
"I'm not going to force myself upon you. I've realized how destructive that can be. Take as much time as you need. I want you to be comfortable with your decision. I do not want you to rush into things. I shall respect your space."
Lin Kang smiled at Xiu Ling and following his heartfelt confession, it made Xiu Ling's heart flutter.
"As you've mentioned earlier, good things take time. Speaking of which..." Lin Kang looked at the time. "It should be almost done by now."
He stood up and walked over to the fridge to retrieve the baskets of dough.
Xiu Ling joined him at the counter and told the man, "I... I'll think about it. Thank you for your understanding and the time."
She wanted to say something more, to give the issue a closure but she had too many things to think about and that was everything she could manage at the time.
