There was a special meaning in Xiu Ling's reply. It was observable from the grammar structure of it. First of all, she used 'your relationships' instead of 'our relationships' to remind Joann that she was referring to more than the immediate relationship between the two women. Other than that, another conspicuous hint that Xiu Ling had dropped was the 's' appended to the end of relationship to signify plurality.
Xiu Ling hoped that her best friend understood what she had left unsaid. She wanted to remind Joann that she could be quite domineering in most of her relationships and that was something that she could reflect on.
Joann nodded slowly like she was trying to process what Xiu Ling was saying. It was hard to tell whether she had truly digested the meaning in Xiu Ling but she did have a follow-up question, "Then why did you choose to tell me now? Why this particular moment in time?"
"Because Sylvia told me to. It was for her sake," Xiu Ling answered. She did not know where her friend was going with this line of inquiry but she was glad to oblige. If this would help Joann come to term with the whole situation then she was willing to be open and honest.
Joann mulled over that answer and she added, "That might be true but there's something else that plays a big role here."
"Hmm?" For some reason, Xiu Ling suddenly felt like she was the one on the witness stand. She came that day hoping to help her friend but she felt weirdly interrogated. "Joann, what are you talking about?"
Xiu Ling was there to help Joann but her friend had put her under the spotlight with these continuous questions of hers.
"Let's put it this way. As you've said earlier, you didn't say anything to me before because you were afraid of me so what changed? What gave you the courage to finally broach the news with me?" Joann asked with an inquisitive gaze.
"I..." Xiu Ling was stumped. To be honest, she had been so busy trying to help Joann with her extra-marital affair that she did not have the time to reflect on her own situation.
Joann looked at her friend and flashed a knowing smile. "Perhaps it is really clearer from the outside because the answer is quite obvious from my perspective. It is because of that husband of yours, Lin Kang."
Joann allowed Xiu Ling some time to register the news before she continued, "He has been giving you the space and resource to grow and gather confidence. I can see day by day you're slowly morphing into the powerful woman that you're meant to be, Xiu Ling and I'm proud."
Xiu Ling was tongue-tied. She really did not expect her friend to turn the table on her. She was there to observe her friend and offer some friendly advice if asked but she forgot that the observer would be observed as well.
She considered what Joann had revealed and Xiu Ling realized what she said had a kernel of truth to it. She was not ashamed to admit that Lin Kang had been introducing some positive changes to her life but Xiu Ling could not understand why Joann would suddenly bring this up. How was this related to their topic of conversation?
Joann though seemed to have the answer. "So Lin Kang has managed to evoke the confidence within you that I've been suppressing all this while. Xiu Ling, you should not have apologized earlier, I should be the one apologizing."
Even though the content of the sentence sounded accusatory but Joann's tone did not. In any case, Xiu Ling still quickly jumped to clear the air. "Of course not, Joann, what are you talking about?" She was not doing that to save Joann's feeling, she honestly did not feel that way. She had learned a lot from her friendship with Joann, she did not want her friend to presume that their relationship was a burden on her. Xiu Ling valued her friendship with Joann and that was the cold hard truth, she did not want her friend to assume otherwise.
Looking at the panic on Xiu Ling's face, Joann could not help but laugh. "I was just kidding. Look at you, getting all serious."
Xiu Ling sighed in relief when Joann added, "But there is something I can learn from your husband, which is to give space for the partner in the relationship to grow."
Joann looked at Xiu Ling and smiled. Xiu Ling knew how much self-reflection and courage it took to admit that so she responded with an encouraging smile. It seemed like her friend was on the right path.
"Anyway, what do you suggest I do about this whole extra-marital affair? You're a much cautious thinker than I am and you have the outsider's perspective, Xiu Ling, what do you think I should do?" Joann asked. It was rare for Joann to turn to Xiu Ling for relationship advice, normally she would be so confident in her own ways that she rarely asked other people's opinion so this was quite a welcome change.
As much as she approved of the change, Xiu Ling did not want to give Joann a set of direction, that would feel like she was handing her friend an easy way out. Other than that, Xiu Ling believed this was not her decision to make and she would not have known the correct thing to do anyway. After all, this was not her marriage they were discussing.
Xiu Ling thought about it and said, "Joann, have you ever wondered why the 'joy'[1] character in our traditional wedding is written in the way they do?"
The non-sequitur caught Joann by surprise and it showed through the confused frown on her face. However, she did not challenge her friend, she just allowed her to continue and only prompted with a, "Why is that so, Xiu Ling?"
There was a special meaning in Xiu Ling's reply. It was observable from the grammar structure of it. First of all, she used 'your relationships' instead of 'our relationships' to remind Joann that she was referring to more than the immediate relationship between the two women. Other than that, another conspicuous hint that Xiu Ling had dropped was the 's' appended to the end of relationship to signify plurality.
Xiu Ling hoped that her best friend understood what she had left unsaid. She wanted to remind Joann that she could be quite domineering in most of her relationships and that was something that she could reflect on.
Joann nodded slowly like she was trying to process what Xiu Ling was saying. It was hard to tell whether she had truly digested the meaning in Xiu Ling but she did have a follow-up question, "Then why did you choose to tell me now? Why this particular moment in time?"
"Because Sylvia told me to. It was for her sake," Xiu Ling answered. She did not know where her friend was going with this line of inquiry but she was glad to oblige. If this would help Joann come to term with the whole situation then she was willing to be open and honest.
Joann mulled over that answer and she added, "That might be true but there's something else that plays a big role here."
"Hmm?" For some reason, Xiu Ling suddenly felt like she was the one on the witness stand. She came that day hoping to help her friend but she felt weirdly interrogated. "Joann, what are you talking about?"
Xiu Ling was there to help Joann but her friend had put her under the spotlight with these continuous questions of hers.
"Let's put it this way. As you've said earlier, you didn't say anything to me before because you were afraid of me so what changed? What gave you the courage to finally broach the news with me?" Joann asked with an inquisitive gaze.
"I..." Xiu Ling was stumped. To be honest, she had been so busy trying to help Joann with her extra-marital affair that she did not have the time to reflect on her own situation.
Joann looked at her friend and flashed a knowing smile. "Perhaps it is really clearer from the outside because the answer is quite obvious from my perspective. It is because of that husband of yours, Lin Kang."
Joann allowed Xiu Ling some time to register the news before she continued, "He has been giving you the space and resource to grow and gather confidence. I can see day by day you're slowly morphing into the powerful woman that you're meant to be, Xiu Ling and I'm proud."
Xiu Ling was tongue-tied. She really did not expect her friend to turn the table on her. She was there to observe her friend and offer some friendly advice if asked but she forgot that the observer would be observed as well.
She considered what Joann had revealed and Xiu Ling realized what she said had a kernel of truth to it. She was not ashamed to admit that Lin Kang had been introducing some positive changes to her life but Xiu Ling could not understand why Joann would suddenly bring this up. How was this related to their topic of conversation?
Joann though seemed to have the answer. "So Lin Kang has managed to evoke the confidence within you that I've been suppressing all this while. Xiu Ling, you should not have apologized earlier, I should be the one apologizing."
Even though the content of the sentence sounded accusatory but Joann's tone did not. In any case, Xiu Ling still quickly jumped to clear the air. "Of course not, Joann, what are you talking about?" She was not doing that to save Joann's feeling, she honestly did not feel that way. She had learned a lot from her friendship with Joann, she did not want her friend to presume that their relationship was a burden on her. Xiu Ling valued her friendship with Joann and that was the cold hard truth, she did not want her friend to assume otherwise.
Looking at the panic on Xiu Ling's face, Joann could not help but laugh. "I was just kidding. Look at you, getting all serious."
Xiu Ling sighed in relief when Joann added, "But there is something I can learn from your husband, which is to give space for the partner in the relationship to grow."
Joann looked at Xiu Ling and smiled. Xiu Ling knew how much self-reflection and courage it took to admit that so she responded with an encouraging smile. It seemed like her friend was on the right path.
"Anyway, what do you suggest I do about this whole extra-marital affair? You're a much cautious thinker than I am and you have the outsider's perspective, Xiu Ling, what do you think I should do?" Joann asked. It was rare for Joann to turn to Xiu Ling for relationship advice, normally she would be so confident in her own ways that she rarely asked other people's opinion so this was quite a welcome change.
As much as she approved of the change, Xiu Ling did not want to give Joann a set of direction, that would feel like she was handing her friend an easy way out. Other than that, Xiu Ling believed this was not her decision to make and she would not have known the correct thing to do anyway. After all, this was not her marriage they were discussing.
Xiu Ling thought about it and said, "Joann, have you ever wondered why the 'joy'[1] character in our traditional wedding is written in the way they do?"
The non-sequitur caught Joann by surprise and it showed through the confused frown on her face. However, she did not challenge her friend, she just allowed her to continue and only prompted with a, "Why is that so, Xiu Ling?"
