This was the first time a gremlin Wang Ling had enchanted was so dangerous.
Currently, as the only gremlin to have been enlightened with a second generation enchantment spell in the Wang family’s small villa, Book of Sage Immortal’s might was indisputable. Although Lord Ma was still the most powerful gremlin when it came to combat capability, Book of Sage Immortal’s strength in other aspects was really astonishing.
If it was enlightened a second time like Lord Ma, it might become a cosmic-level divine artifact.
Head lowered in thought, Wang Ling felt that Book of Sage Immortal’s abilities could benefit the universe – calculating the possibilities, it could overturn the heavens!
“My lord?”
Wang Ling: “?”
Wang Ling had an outrageous thought – he felt a little like sending Book of Sage Immortal to another universe.
This guy was too smart; keeping it with him might be a real headache.
Seeing that Wang Ling hadn’t responded in a while, Book of Sage Immortal asked again, “What is my lord thinking of?”
Before Wang Ling could speak, Book of Sage Immortal continued, “I know that my lord is still thinking about the matter with Devil Gut Fungus Lord. I estimated earlier that there’s a 87% chance that my lord will choose the third option. Therefore, I’ve already contacted Immortal Toya beforehand and texted him in my lord’s style to have him go and deal with Devil Gut Fungus Lord.”
Wang Ling: “…”
Book of Sage Immortal: “I’ve calculated that there’s a 92% chance of a massive tornado developing on the sea tomorrow, which will affect flights. Thus, I’ve already helped Immortal Toya buy a ticket for the underwater channel. He’ll leave this evening, and will arrive at his destination in two hours.”
“…”
“Because of the space control along Mixiu nation’s border, if my lord casually opens up a space tunnel to send Immortal Toya through, this might impact the relationship between nations.”
“…”
“Also, the ticket for the underwater channel was purchased with money from pawning some of my lord’s crispy noodle snacks.”
“???”
“At the moment, I’ve estimated that there is a 99% chance that my lord will smash me to bits. Of course, there is a 1% chance that I may be sent to another universe to benefit the people there. But my lord, please calm down; I can already sense your rage breaking through the dimension wall and affecting the global environment.”
Wang Ling’s heart: (•́へ•́╬)
After a few seconds…
“My lord, calm down! I can already sense your anger surging… It seems to have spilled over the dimension wall into the other universes.”
After several more seconds.
Wang Ling’s heart: (╯‵□′)╯(┻━┻
“My lord… truly, don’t be impulsive. I know that there’s a 99.99% probability of you beating me to death now, but if you continue to be angry, the crack in the dimension wall of the tenth universe is going to get bigger and bigger. The tenth universe is already suffering the impact of my lord’s rage, and its four poles are starting to melt… the cultivators of the world in the tenth universe will just barely be able to hold on for another thirty years if they use Whisper pads for the leak, but they’ll completely die out after that.”
At that moment, Wang Ling took a deep breath.
He had made up his mind.
He would send this guy to the tenth universe.
…
On the other side on Chrysanthemum Island, Immortal Toya had already received the text which Book of Sage Immortal had sent in Wang Ling’s style. Since its original form was an iPad, Book of Sage Immortal could connect to any electronic device in the world and send messages.
Immortal Toya was very excited, because this would be his first time going on a mission overseas. What was more, he was well aware that this was an opportunity which Crispy Noodle Dao Monarch was giving to him.
“Congrats, Immortal Toya, you’ve been appointed!” Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal congratulated him on the side. “The reason why your realm hasn’t advanced in so long is mainly because you’ve always been in a restless mood.”
“What do you mean?” An alchemist had to have a more steady temperament than regular cultivators. This was because one had to have a tranquil state of mind when refining pills; excessive fluctuations in mood would lead to a dramatic decrease in the success rate of refining pills.
Thus, in this business, a lot of alchemists were very Buddha-like.
“Brother To, don’t misunderstand. You’re so open-minded that ordinary cultivators naturally aren’t your match. But the more open-minded a person is, the more vulnerable he might be. With the invasion of Chrysanthemum Island and given its war-torn state now, even if you don’t show it, you certainly must feel some resentment.”
After saying this, Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal sighed. “That’s why it’s important to have a girlfriend in a situation like this.”
Immortal Toya: “…”
“If Brother To had a girlfriend, you could give vent to your anger through dual cultivation. But since you don’t have one, you can only solve it yourself by purifying your mind,” said Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal. “Purifying your mind is a problem which every cultivator who has reached a bottleneck will face. After all, Brother To isn’t Old Demon Wang… this is Brother Wang giving you some guidance!”
“What does this have to do with Old Demon Wang…”
“Brother To, have you forgotten? Back then, to purify his mind, Old Demon Wang specially opened a woodcarving shop and made wooden airplane cups 1– no ordinary cultivator could reach that level of perseverance and craftsmanship.”
“…”
Immortal Toya remained silent for a long time. A moment later, he suddenly turned his gaze to Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal’s phone, and took a deep breath. “Senior Immortal, this is…”
“As Brother To can see, this is an app for making friends. Just tap ‘scan,’ and the app will automatically scan up to five hundred li around you for female cultivators whose interests and hobbies best match yours.”
“But…”
“Brother To, we’re not young anymore, we need to think about our futures. Settling down with a partner can only be a good thing. With a partner, your success rate in refining pills will be much higher.”
“But…”
“Of course, it’s too late this time, but you have to plan ahead, right? I’ve only just started using this app myself. I should be more or less familiar with it once Brother To returns, and I can teach you how to use it then, to find Jinshi and Yinshi a mother.”
“But…”
“Immortal To, no buts! This is a mission! It’s also your first assignment since the founding of the Office of Strategic Deception. The organization still cares about the important things in your life! If Brother Ling hadn’t helped out with Chrysanthemum Island, Brother To’s state of mind might have already crumbled… So, Brother To, shouldn’t you find a wife who can fry crispy noodles, to repay Brother Ling?”
“But…”
“But again? Why do I feel that Brother To seems so nervous? I’m just trying out the app myself now, it’ll take me a while to understand how it works.”
“I understand, Senor Immortal, but…” Immortal Toya took a deep breath. He had already been holding himself back for a long time; if he was interrupted again, he felt like he might die.
The next moment, he covered Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal’s mouth before the latter could speak. “However, Senior Immortal, when you’re making friends, please don’t use my profile pic…”
This was the first time a gremlin Wang Ling had enchanted was so dangerous.
Currently, as the only gremlin to have been enlightened with a second generation enchantment spell in the Wang family’s small villa, Book of Sage Immortal’s might was indisputable. Although Lord Ma was still the most powerful gremlin when it came to combat capability, Book of Sage Immortal’s strength in other aspects was really astonishing.
If it was enlightened a second time like Lord Ma, it might become a cosmic-level divine artifact.
Head lowered in thought, Wang Ling felt that Book of Sage Immortal’s abilities could benefit the universe – calculating the possibilities, it could overturn the heavens!
“My lord?”
Wang Ling: “?”
Wang Ling had an outrageous thought – he felt a little like sending Book of Sage Immortal to another universe.
This guy was too smart; keeping it with him might be a real headache.
Seeing that Wang Ling hadn’t responded in a while, Book of Sage Immortal asked again, “What is my lord thinking of?”
Before Wang Ling could speak, Book of Sage Immortal continued, “I know that my lord is still thinking about the matter with Devil Gut Fungus Lord. I estimated earlier that there’s a 87% chance that my lord will choose the third option. Therefore, I’ve already contacted Immortal Toya beforehand and texted him in my lord’s style to have him go and deal with Devil Gut Fungus Lord.”
Wang Ling: “…”
Book of Sage Immortal: “I’ve calculated that there’s a 92% chance of a massive tornado developing on the sea tomorrow, which will affect flights. Thus, I’ve already helped Immortal Toya buy a ticket for the underwater channel. He’ll leave this evening, and will arrive at his destination in two hours.”
“…”
“Because of the space control along Mixiu nation’s border, if my lord casually opens up a space tunnel to send Immortal Toya through, this might impact the relationship between nations.”
“…”
“Also, the ticket for the underwater channel was purchased with money from pawning some of my lord’s crispy noodle snacks.”
“???”
“At the moment, I’ve estimated that there is a 99% chance that my lord will smash me to bits. Of course, there is a 1% chance that I may be sent to another universe to benefit the people there. But my lord, please calm down; I can already sense your rage breaking through the dimension wall and affecting the global environment.”
Wang Ling’s heart: (•́へ•́╬)
After a few seconds…
“My lord, calm down! I can already sense your anger surging… It seems to have spilled over the dimension wall into the other universes.”
After several more seconds.
Wang Ling’s heart: (╯‵□′)╯(┻━┻
“My lord… truly, don’t be impulsive. I know that there’s a 99.99% probability of you beating me to death now, but if you continue to be angry, the crack in the dimension wall of the tenth universe is going to get bigger and bigger. The tenth universe is already suffering the impact of my lord’s rage, and its four poles are starting to melt… the cultivators of the world in the tenth universe will just barely be able to hold on for another thirty years if they use Whisper pads for the leak, but they’ll completely die out after that.”
At that moment, Wang Ling took a deep breath.
He had made up his mind.
He would send this guy to the tenth universe.
…
On the other side on Chrysanthemum Island, Immortal Toya had already received the text which Book of Sage Immortal had sent in Wang Ling’s style. Since its original form was an iPad, Book of Sage Immortal could connect to any electronic device in the world and send messages.
Immortal Toya was very excited, because this would be his first time going on a mission overseas. What was more, he was well aware that this was an opportunity which Crispy Noodle Dao Monarch was giving to him.
“Congrats, Immortal Toya, you’ve been appointed!” Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal congratulated him on the side. “The reason why your realm hasn’t advanced in so long is mainly because you’ve always been in a restless mood.”
“What do you mean?” An alchemist had to have a more steady temperament than regular cultivators. This was because one had to have a tranquil state of mind when refining pills; excessive fluctuations in mood would lead to a dramatic decrease in the success rate of refining pills.
Thus, in this business, a lot of alchemists were very Buddha-like.
“Brother To, don’t misunderstand. You’re so open-minded that ordinary cultivators naturally aren’t your match. But the more open-minded a person is, the more vulnerable he might be. With the invasion of Chrysanthemum Island and given its war-torn state now, even if you don’t show it, you certainly must feel some resentment.”
After saying this, Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal sighed. “That’s why it’s important to have a girlfriend in a situation like this.”
Immortal Toya: “…”
“If Brother To had a girlfriend, you could give vent to your anger through dual cultivation. But since you don’t have one, you can only solve it yourself by purifying your mind,” said Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal. “Purifying your mind is a problem which every cultivator who has reached a bottleneck will face. After all, Brother To isn’t Old Demon Wang… this is Brother Wang giving you some guidance!”
“What does this have to do with Old Demon Wang…”
“Brother To, have you forgotten? Back then, to purify his mind, Old Demon Wang specially opened a woodcarving shop and made wooden airplane cups 1– no ordinary cultivator could reach that level of perseverance and craftsmanship.”
“…”
Immortal Toya remained silent for a long time. A moment later, he suddenly turned his gaze to Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal’s phone, and took a deep breath. “Senior Immortal, this is…”
“As Brother To can see, this is an app for making friends. Just tap ‘scan,’ and the app will automatically scan up to five hundred li around you for female cultivators whose interests and hobbies best match yours.”
“But…”
“Brother To, we’re not young anymore, we need to think about our futures. Settling down with a partner can only be a good thing. With a partner, your success rate in refining pills will be much higher.”
“But…”
“Of course, it’s too late this time, but you have to plan ahead, right? I’ve only just started using this app myself. I should be more or less familiar with it once Brother To returns, and I can teach you how to use it then, to find Jinshi and Yinshi a mother.”
“But…”
“Immortal To, no buts! This is a mission! It’s also your first assignment since the founding of the Office of Strategic Deception. The organization still cares about the important things in your life! If Brother Ling hadn’t helped out with Chrysanthemum Island, Brother To’s state of mind might have already crumbled… So, Brother To, shouldn’t you find a wife who can fry crispy noodles, to repay Brother Ling?”
“But…”
“But again? Why do I feel that Brother To seems so nervous? I’m just trying out the app myself now, it’ll take me a while to understand how it works.”
“I understand, Senor Immortal, but…” Immortal Toya took a deep breath. He had already been holding himself back for a long time; if he was interrupted again, he felt like he might die.
The next moment, he covered Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal’s mouth before the latter could speak. “However, Senior Immortal, when you’re making friends, please don’t use my profile pic…”
