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Published at 14th of September 2019 04:53:56 PM
Chapter 82

CHAPTER 82: LOST IN GRIEF



I returned to the manor and shut myself in my room .
Natalia had come over to call me for lunch, but I did not come out . I had even thought that I might as well die like this .

Because .
Because .
There was no worth living in a world without Wilhelm-sama— .

「U…uu……」

Recalling the image of the big and strong Wilhelm-sama, my tears fell without end .
He said we would get married .
He agreed to make me his wife .
And yet .
And yet .
How could you die in battle, Wilhelm-sama—?
I even believed you would definitely come back .

「Hic……aah……! 」

In my hands was a scarf knitted with great effort .
It was the long, long scarf I wanted to wrap around Wilhelm-sama’s and my neck when winter comes . I had labored over it, and worked on it every day to please Wilhelm-sama .
But…
Wilhelm-sama, without waiting for winter to come, had passed away— .

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「Carol」

「……」

My mother’s voice sounded beyond the door .
However, I did not answer . I did not want to see anyone right now . My swollen eyes were red, my face was haggard from despair, and my hair was a mess . I did not want to go out with such an appearance . I did not even want to see my mother .
After all, no matter who it was, they would all say the same thing .
“Move on”— .

「Very well……speaking through this door is fine . Just listen, Carol」

「……」

「Captain Anastasia of the Order of the Snow is here . She would like to see you」

「……」

The Order .
Just hearing those words caused my body to tremble .
Surely, Captain Anastasia was also worried about me .

「……Um」

「She could be asleep . My apologies, even though you took the trouble to come here」

「No, not at all……I only came out of worry」



「To cause you worry like this……no, let us drop this matter . At least come to the drawing room? I will have tea prepared」

「Then, I humbly accept……But before that…」

I heard Captain Anastasia clear her throat with a cough .
Apparently, she would like to say something to me . Please do not give me any more despair .
I know .
Wilhelm-sama died in battle .
He would never come back .
I already know—so please do not remind me any further .

「Lady Carol……it is about Uncle, the knight captain Wilhelm Aibringer」

「……」

「Vice-captain Victor……no, is it “Captain” now? I heard the full story from him . He said that Uncle launched an attack on the enemy’s main camp with the Empire’s army and defeated the enemy commander . I heard that, at that time, he died protecting the Empire’s empress who was with them」

「……」

I did not understand .
Why was Empire’s empress in such a place? How skilled in combat was she?
Also, what was the purpose in telling me that?
Even with knowing such information, Wilhelm-sama would not come back .
That was all to it— .



「However, Uncle’s head has not yet been sent over . The body has not yet come . He is currently considered more to be missing rather than killed in battle . Therefore, it is not certain that he is dead . I want you to understand that」

「……」

「What I am saying is……Uncle loves Lady Carol . Also, Uncle is the strongest man in Flarekista . He does not die so easily . No……I do not believe Uncle’s death . I believe he will definitely come back someday」

「……」

If Captain Anastasia’s words were true, then Wilhelm-sama might be alive .

I, too, wanted to believe .
That Wilhelm-sama would definitely come back .

「So……I hope you will not be too depressed . When Uncle comes back, I hope he will meet with Lady Carol as usual . Of course, I also understand your situation . You do not have to force yourself to continue lecturing in our Order . I want you to rest for a while and calm down, before coming back again . That is all」

「……」

However, I knew .
What I am feeling was despair .
Beyond that despair was—

The fear of holding a little hope, only to be crushed .

If I believed he was alive and held fast unto that…
Most likely, when faced with Wilhelm-sama’s body, I would end my own life .
Aah— .
Already, I am sick and tired of everything .

「……」

I raised my face as I sat down on my knees .
I already knew; Wilhelm-sama was not coming back .
In that case, for the rest of my life…
When I was supposed to walk beside Wilhelm-sama, from now on…

「……Uu」

I shall weep and weep, spending the rest of my life in mourning .
I shall spend my life without a companion to walk beside with .

「Wil…helm…sama……! 」

Tears not stopping, I looked up to the sky .
Surely, in the heavens—far beyond the clouds, there must be a paradise where the souls of the departed go .
There, Wilhelm-sama would be .

「Why…why……did you not come back—?! 」

I was supposed to be Wilhelm-sama’s young wife .
We were supposed to get married once he comes back .

Wilhelm-sama…

You liar— .



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