At night, the beach was much quieter than during the day. The dark blue ocean water gently touched the sandy shore, like a lover’s hand. Again and again, pressing close and then hesitating. The moon was a thin crescent, and the faraway mangrove forest was blurred into a dark shadow.
Zheng Wei aimlessly walked along the shore bordering the hotel, sometimes seeing frolicking children run past wearing swimming tubes. Even more were the young couples, hugging one another closely. After stopping, she realized that she had walked a long ways from where she had come. Looking back, she had already long left behind the range of the building’s lights.
Lin Jing might’ve already finished his phone call. If he walked downstairs and couldn’t find her, he would probably get nervous. But Zheng Wei didn’t want to go back immediately, she needed this kind of place where she could be alone and take in a few deep breaths. She spread her rainproof jacket on the sandy ground, sat down, and picked up a small, sharp stone which had been brought by the sea waves. She drew randomly on the flat sand.
Footsteps sounded from behind her, and Zheng Wei turned around. She saw tall and and slim shadow coming from behind her, and there was also the distinct smell of RUSH2 that she remembered. It was expected, and she only helplessly looked towards the sky and rolled her eyes. She said, “You really still came. Is there something you want to say to me? Don’t ask me how I guessed, it’s always like this on TV, aren’t there any other tricks?”
The owner of the RUSH2 smell smiled too, “This plot is extremely tiresome, we just don’t know yet, who the second female lead is and who the real female lead is.”
She took off her shawl and spread it over the sand just like Zheng Wei did. “Do you mind if I sit down?” She asked.
Zheng Wei said, “It’s not like the sand is mine. But, I think that if you have something to say, the one you’re looking for isn’t me. Other than the fact that we can barely be considered co-workers, we aren’t related in any other way. Any grudges shouldn’t be between me and you.”
“Yes, we were originally strangers, but a man connected us.” Her tone wasn’t agressive, on the contrary, it was like a young woman confiding in her close friend.
“Then you should go find that man, if I’m right, you already gave him a call right? Furthermore, you came all this way, appearing in the restaurant with another man, wasn’t it just because you wanted him to see it? This goal has already been accomplished. It’s of no use for you to come to me, the one who makes the decisions is him. I can’t help you with anything.” Zheng Wei hugged her knees to her chest as she looked at the woman beside her.
Shi Jie played with the wet sand left behind by the tide, not minding whatsoever that her pretty hands were getting dirty. She said, “Zheng Wei, I already knew that you saw me in the restaurant. Today also wasn’t the first time that you guessed about my relationship with Lin Jing, right?”
“I don’t care about your past relationship with him, as for now, are you planning on acting like on TV and tell me that you guys still long for one another and that you even have his kids? If it’s like this, I will find it very funny and think that you are far from having the brain that I thought you did.”
“What if I really said that? Would you dare say that you don’t mind at all?” Shi Jie’s eyebrows raised.
Zheng Wei tilted her head and thought for a bit. “In comparison, I trust Lin Jing more.”
The breeze blew Shi Jie’s curled hair, making it float up, making her beautiful and haughty look seem to fall apart slightly. She smiled at Zheng Wei and said, “You’re right, but the only reason why you’re so sure is because Lin Jing loves you, and I love him. So, in our three person food chain, you are at the very peak and I’m at the opposite end. You have reason to be arrogant.”
“I’m not being arrogant and looking down on you, if you love him that’s your thing. But why are you getting He Yi involved, he already has a wife. You don’t even like him, so why are you trying to use him, breaking his family apart!” Zheng Wei thought of Wei Shao Yi, and she suddenly felt her resentment towards Shi Jie increase.
Shi Jie threw the sand in her hand far away from her and said, “I never forced him. He was the one who was willing to come with me, just like how Lin Jing didn’t force me, and it turned out that I was the one who was wanted to be with Lin Jing. So whose fault it is?”
“Then why are you wasting your time right now by telling me this?” Zheng Wei began to feel impatient.
“I just want you to know, Zheng Wei, that I lost. But, it’s not because I’m inferior to you. It’s because people’s hearts are beyond our control and we can never be certain of them. I saw Lin Jing for the first time two years ago at a business dinner. At that time, he hadn’t become a Deputy Attorney General* yet. I have seen a lot of men.
But I have never seen someone like him, who looked good-natured and indifferent, but had eyes full of a desire to conquer. He was very handsome when he smiled. When he nodded to me from across the table, in the midst of noisy toasts, it was then that I began to love him.” While Shi Jie was saying this, her mouth had a slight and private smile. Even her eyes were soft. Zheng Wei was extremely familiar with this kind of expression. Many years ago, the young girl who she had been had been standing in front of the mirror in the dormitory, replaying over and over the scene of her first kiss. Hadn’t her face shone just like this? At this moment, Zheng Wei believed in Shi Jie’s love for Lin Jing. Maybe everyone who had ever loved was this way.
*- I think I’ve translated it as something different before, but it has to do with the government/law and it means assistant/deputy something. So…. Just know this is a pretty high position.
Shi Jie was immersed in her own memories, completely missing the change in Zheng Wei’s state of mind. “That day, I impulsively asked Lin Jing for his contact information. My requirements for someone before I ask them of my own accord are quite high. There were many people who had been pursuing me back then, but I liked Lin Jing’s neutral treatment towards me. Over and over, I came up with various reasons to go visit him. When he smiled at me, I would be happy for a very long time. I would think about and analyze every sentence he spoke for an entire night. I was completely like a little girl who had fallen in love for the first time ever.”
“Did Lin Jing eventually reciprocate these feelings later on?” She shouldn’t ask this, but Shi Jie’s reason for coming was definitely to provoke her. Zheng Wei didn’t completely trust her words, but in the end, she still cared.
As expected, Shi Jie smiled bitterly and said, “If I said that Lin Jing later felt the same kind of love for me, and that all of the words of love he is saying to you now, all of the actions were previously practiced on me, would you continue displaying your aloof expression?”
She continued, saying, “Afraid now? Actually, you don’t really have to worry, all men are cold hearted. Only when in front of a certain person will they turn soft. I kept hoping that I was that person for Lin Jing, but it’s a shame that I wasn’t. From the start, Lin Jing had seen through my heart. He told me, I was very good, but I just wasn’t the person that he wanted to spend his entire life with. In other words, he didn’t love me. But I don’t care, as long as he’s willing to accept me, I can wait, wait for the day that he finally loves me. I don’t believe that there’s anyone better than me, who loves him more than I do. We were together for two years, and although we never committed and he might not have placed me in his heart, he will still think of me occasionally and that already makes me very happy. I think that anything is worth it for him. At that time, I knew clearly that he had been investigating President He. It was his first big case after becoming the Deputy Attorney General. He needed to succeed in order to prove his capability to those people who were dissatisfied with his promotion because of his young age. To tell the truth, President He was pretty nice to me, but I just desperately wanted to do something for the person I love… …”
Zheng Wei shuddered and said, “So you leaked Zhong Jian’s business secrets to Lin Jing, and he accepted them?”
“He thought it beneath him to ask me to do anything for him, of course. Maybe because President He didn’t hide me, in his circumstances, he would eventually fall sooner or later, I just didn’t want Lin Jing to work so hard… …”
“So what you’re saying is that Lin Jing didn’t reject your ‘good intentions’?” Zheng Wei clenched her teeth.
“At least, when I secretly put those documents in his briefcase, he didn’t say anything after. Plus, I know that those documents coincidentally were the crucial points as to why this case was able to go so fast. All people are like this, even though they know they can definitely achieve what they need to eventually, if there’s a shortcut, who would be willing to walk all the way around?”
“Do you know what I want to say the most right now? You’re really stupid!” Zheng Wei said ruthlessly.DAY 3/22
Shi Jie nodded. “I am stupid, he has now started working on Er Fen, but you probably won’t help him because you don’t love him above all else. But that’s unimportant, Lin Jing won’t care about this. In comparison to Er Fen’s case, I know he sees you as more important. This is the difference between loving and not loving. The first time I noticed you was at a Western restaurant near Zhong Jian. That day I arranged to meet Lin Jing to eat together and happened to see you and He Yi together there. My relationship with He Yi has always been pretty good, and that restaurant was also one which I had introduced to him, so I knew you were the girl who had the blind date with him. Lin Jing looked at you for a long time. That night, he brought me back home and I asked him to come in. He didn’t agree and I guessed that something must’ve gone wrong. I just didn’t imagine that it was you! After that, he gradually grew colder towards me. After a while, I called him when he was coming back from a friend’s wedding. I said, I miss you, and he said, Shi Jie, let’s break up, I found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Zheng Wei, who that person is, you know it even more clearly than I do.”
Zheg Wei remembered that night at Ruan Ruan’s wedding when she had been reunited with Lin Jing, but she had never guessed that there was such a story behind it.
“You can continue speaking.”
Shi Jie looked at the lights on the ocean flickering and said, “I was with him for two years. I used my entire body and heart to love him. He wasn’t my first man, but I always thought of him as my last one. In the end, he ended it with a single sentence. Lin Jing is a man who keeps his word, I also know this, but in the end, I really couldn’t accept his heartlessness. I cried, begged all I could, but no matter how noisy I was, no matter how annoying I was, he never got angry, but he never looked back either. I’m not afraid of your mocking, I even tried threatening him with my death before, but he wouldn’t even come to my house to see me. All he said was, it’s your own life. Please treasure it. His heart is truly extremely cruel.”
Listening to Shi Jie, Zheng Wei was a bit lost in thought. The person in Shi Jie’s memories was a Lin Jing she completely didn’t recognize. She didn’t know why, but she believed that what Shi Jie said was true.
“Afterwards I also communicated with him and learned that he really didn’t love me. So, I called him and asked him to dinner, just as an ending to our two year relationship. That day I waited until very late until he finally came, but he still was willing to come. I was already very satisfied. The moment I saw him, I realized that the only reason I had come up with so many excuses was just because I wanted to see his face again. We ate together but he was absent minded the entire time. This I didn’t mind. But then, the moment his phone rang, he left without saying another word… …”
“So you splashed him with red wine,” Zheng Wei finished off Shi Jie’s sentence.
Shi Jie laughed until tears were falling from her eyes. “So he really went to visit you, does it feel good to have a man at your beck and call?”
Zheng Wei chose to remain silent.
“There will never be a person as stupid as I am, I knew that he often went back and forth from the compound for you, so I kept going to find He Yi, hoping that he’d at least care a little after seeing me and He Yi together. Even just a little was good. This time, following you to the North Sea was also because of this. But when he saw me, he didn’t care whatsoever about who the man beside me was. He only cared about how I was obstructing your relationship with him. Zheng Wei, am I not as good as you? I’m prettier than you, more successful than you, love him more than you do, the only thing I can’t compare to you in is that he loves you and not me.”
To have a woman admit that the one man they loved the most not even have oneself in his heart, how cruel was that? Zheng Wei averted her eyes, she was afraid of such despair. It was like exposing oneself again.
The two women quietly sat next to the ocean, listening to the sound of the waves. They were each thinking about their own worries, love and beauty, intelligence and wealth, they were all things that we couldn’t get just because we wanted it.
In the end, Zheng Wei rubbed her sore calves and stood up. She said to Shi Jie, “I have one thing to say, it’s often use to comfort oneself when one feels extremely broken hearted. Now, I’ll give it to you. It’s very simple. If you agreed to bet, then you must accept your losses.”
Shi Jie left. Zheng Wei watched as her silhouette slowly disappeared from the end of her vision. The phone in her pocket had already rang many times when she finally picked up. Soon after, an extremely anxious Lin Jing hurriedly appeared before her.
“Didn’t I say to not walk to far? Why didn’t you pick up your phone? Don’t you know how dangerous it is here alone? Your already so old, yet you still act like a child who doesn’t know what to do!” Lin Jing rarely used such a heavy tone when speaking with Zheng Wei, but she new, it was only because he was worried that he was so out of control.
Zheng Wei looked at the man in front of her who got super nervous for her sake. In front of another woman who had loved him, it wasn’t that he had a heart of iron. Lin Jing to Shi Jie was like Chen Xiao Zheng to Zheng Wei. There would definitely come a day when her A Zheng would also become to Lin Jing of a Wei Wei. Perhaps every woman has met a Chen Xiao Zheng when they were young, then after, found their Lin Jing; and every man would’ve been Chen Xiao Zheng at some point in time in the past.
When he finally matured, he would become Lin Jing.
“Wei Wei, are you…” A worried look flashed through Lin Jing’s eyes.
Zheng Wei smiled sheepishly and said, “My clothes are too thick, I didn’t even hear it when my phone rang.”
Lin Jing saw her jacket covered in sand and sighed. He took off his own coat and wrapped it around her. “Do you have to turn every one of your clothes into this way?”
Zheng Wei smiled happily and sat back down on her jacket, looking up at Lin Jing then pulling him down. At first he didn’t want to, but couldn’t resist against her feigned innocent look. He couldn’t help but smile, carefully sitting down next to her.
She picked up the rock from before and continued drawing in the sand. After writing a few big words, she started to smile after looking at them. Lin Jing looked over too, and the only thing that was written was: Lin Jing is a bastard.
He smiled and stole her stone, writing down next to it: Zheng Wei is an idiot.
Zheng Wei hit him on the shoulder in mock anger, insisting on seizing the rock back. Helpless to the height gap between them, she couldn’t reach the rock no matter how hard she tried after he raised his arm. Lin Jing moved side to side, avoiding her attacks, conveniently erasing a few extra words. All that was left was their two names, and in-between their names was an additional word, and at the end there was a large question mark.
Zheng Wei suddenly quieted down. She lightly bit her bottom lip, her hand slowly creeping behind her back. Thankfully the night covered up her red, flushed face.
Lin Jing reached to pull her hand from behind her back but was avoided. He also seemed to not know what to say. All he said was an “um” sound, and Zheng Wei knew he was looking for an answer.
In the uncomfortable moment, another wave came, and Lin Jing grabbed her, pulling her back a few steps. After the ocean spray retreated, the traces that they had just made in the sand had all disappeared.
Lin Jing was a bit dissapointed, so Zheng Wei logically lied saying, “Oh, oh, what you just wrote, I didn’t see it. It was definitely some sort of scold. Forget it, let’s not argue anymore. I’m really tired, let’s go back.” She pulled at his sleeve and began walking back but he refused to move.
Just when Zheng Wei was about to continue sweet-talking to get away with it, Lin Jing unexpected knelt down on one knee. Zheng Wei got super scared and said, “This is… … what is… … what are you doing? Don’t scare… … scare… … scare me.” Ling Jing easily grabbed her wrist and sad, “Do you see it now?”
Panicked, she tried to deny it by covering her eyes with her other hand, but she forgot to cover her ears too.
“I’m very serious. Wei Wei, marry me, I’m only going to say this once, but I will take care of you for your entire life and make you happy.” The half kneeling Lin Jing looked up at Zheng Wei. She was still covering her eyes with a hand, not saying a word. He waited for a moment, but in the end was unable to calm the apprehension inside his heart. He forcefully pulled her hand away, but the palm of the hand he was holding was surprisingly wet.
“Crying? Why?” He had never imagined that she would cry at this moment.
His marriage proposal wasn’t creative in the slightest. Zheng Wei never thought that the same sentence that she had heard often in Hong Kong dramas and Korean dramas, when she became the recipient, the shock became really hard to respond to. Was this lifetime commitment? Was this the biggest compliment a man could give a woman? She wanted to calm down a bit and her tears felt unfamiliar. In the past, this had been her biggest dream since childhood. If life could go back to that first time, and let them once again become the Little Flying Dragon and Lin Jing from back then, how perfect would that be.
She recalled that pair of deep black eyes, that beautiful moonlight on the basketball court, recalled the despair on Shi Jie’s face, recalled Lin Jing’s mother Auntie Sun… … If she reached out her hand, then she wouldn’t allow herself to look back.
Zheng Wei said, “I’m sorry, Lin Jing, it’s too sudden, I didn’t prepare… …”
Lin Jing’s expression changed. Ever since kneeling down, his heart had been constantly beating frantically. He hated doing things that he was uncertain about but he couldn’t allow himself to not try this time. Zheng Wei’s response made his originally uncertain heart begin to fall.
“You mean to say… …” He tried to loosen his throat. He wouldn’t give up until the last moment– No, a better way of saying it was that even if she rejected him, it wasn’t necessarily the last moment.
Zheng Wei smiled slightly as she cried, “I don’t know if I’ll be a good wife, but I’m willing to try.”
She looked up from Lin Jing’s enthusiastic embrace, and through her hazy, tear-filled eyes, she saw the crescent moon. There was only a thin ring of moonlight, a thin, long curved shape, almost like a person? That was a lifetime, many women did not marry the person that was etched into their hearts. She got Lin Jing, and its not like she didn’t love him, so why should she be sad?
On their way back to the hotel together, Zheng Wei said, “Lin Jing… …”
“Hm?” His hand was grabbing onto hers too tightly, and Zheng Wei’s palm hurt a bit.
“Aren’t I supposed to get a ring?”
He laughed and said, “When I came out just now I was too rushed. I forgot it in the room.”
“Also, your expression just now was really unsophisticated.”
“It’s also my first time, I don’t have any experience.”
At night, the beach was much quieter than during the day. The dark blue ocean water gently touched the sandy shore, like a lover’s hand. Again and again, pressing close and then hesitating. The moon was a thin crescent, and the faraway mangrove forest was blurred into a dark shadow.
Zheng Wei aimlessly walked along the shore bordering the hotel, sometimes seeing frolicking children run past wearing swimming tubes. Even more were the young couples, hugging one another closely. After stopping, she realized that she had walked a long ways from where she had come. Looking back, she had already long left behind the range of the building’s lights.
Lin Jing might’ve already finished his phone call. If he walked downstairs and couldn’t find her, he would probably get nervous. But Zheng Wei didn’t want to go back immediately, she needed this kind of place where she could be alone and take in a few deep breaths. She spread her rainproof jacket on the sandy ground, sat down, and picked up a small, sharp stone which had been brought by the sea waves. She drew randomly on the flat sand.
Footsteps sounded from behind her, and Zheng Wei turned around. She saw tall and and slim shadow coming from behind her, and there was also the distinct smell of RUSH2 that she remembered. It was expected, and she only helplessly looked towards the sky and rolled her eyes. She said, “You really still came. Is there something you want to say to me? Don’t ask me how I guessed, it’s always like this on TV, aren’t there any other tricks?”
The owner of the RUSH2 smell smiled too, “This plot is extremely tiresome, we just don’t know yet, who the second female lead is and who the real female lead is.”
She took off her shawl and spread it over the sand just like Zheng Wei did. “Do you mind if I sit down?” She asked.
Zheng Wei said, “It’s not like the sand is mine. But, I think that if you have something to say, the one you’re looking for isn’t me. Other than the fact that we can barely be considered co-workers, we aren’t related in any other way. Any grudges shouldn’t be between me and you.”
“Yes, we were originally strangers, but a man connected us.” Her tone wasn’t agressive, on the contrary, it was like a young woman confiding in her close friend.
“Then you should go find that man, if I’m right, you already gave him a call right? Furthermore, you came all this way, appearing in the restaurant with another man, wasn’t it just because you wanted him to see it? This goal has already been accomplished. It’s of no use for you to come to me, the one who makes the decisions is him. I can’t help you with anything.” Zheng Wei hugged her knees to her chest as she looked at the woman beside her.
Shi Jie played with the wet sand left behind by the tide, not minding whatsoever that her pretty hands were getting dirty. She said, “Zheng Wei, I already knew that you saw me in the restaurant. Today also wasn’t the first time that you guessed about my relationship with Lin Jing, right?”
“I don’t care about your past relationship with him, as for now, are you planning on acting like on TV and tell me that you guys still long for one another and that you even have his kids? If it’s like this, I will find it very funny and think that you are far from having the brain that I thought you did.”
“What if I really said that? Would you dare say that you don’t mind at all?” Shi Jie’s eyebrows raised.
Zheng Wei tilted her head and thought for a bit. “In comparison, I trust Lin Jing more.”
The breeze blew Shi Jie’s curled hair, making it float up, making her beautiful and haughty look seem to fall apart slightly. She smiled at Zheng Wei and said, “You’re right, but the only reason why you’re so sure is because Lin Jing loves you, and I love him. So, in our three person food chain, you are at the very peak and I’m at the opposite end. You have reason to be arrogant.”
“I’m not being arrogant and looking down on you, if you love him that’s your thing. But why are you getting He Yi involved, he already has a wife. You don’t even like him, so why are you trying to use him, breaking his family apart!” Zheng Wei thought of Wei Shao Yi, and she suddenly felt her resentment towards Shi Jie increase.
Shi Jie threw the sand in her hand far away from her and said, “I never forced him. He was the one who was willing to come with me, just like how Lin Jing didn’t force me, and it turned out that I was the one who was wanted to be with Lin Jing. So whose fault it is?”
“Then why are you wasting your time right now by telling me this?” Zheng Wei began to feel impatient.
“I just want you to know, Zheng Wei, that I lost. But, it’s not because I’m inferior to you. It’s because people’s hearts are beyond our control and we can never be certain of them. I saw Lin Jing for the first time two years ago at a business dinner. At that time, he hadn’t become a Deputy Attorney General* yet. I have seen a lot of men.
But I have never seen someone like him, who looked good-natured and indifferent, but had eyes full of a desire to conquer. He was very handsome when he smiled. When he nodded to me from across the table, in the midst of noisy toasts, it was then that I began to love him.” While Shi Jie was saying this, her mouth had a slight and private smile. Even her eyes were soft. Zheng Wei was extremely familiar with this kind of expression. Many years ago, the young girl who she had been had been standing in front of the mirror in the dormitory, replaying over and over the scene of her first kiss. Hadn’t her face shone just like this? At this moment, Zheng Wei believed in Shi Jie’s love for Lin Jing. Maybe everyone who had ever loved was this way.
*- I think I’ve translated it as something different before, but it has to do with the government/law and it means assistant/deputy something. So…. Just know this is a pretty high position.
Shi Jie was immersed in her own memories, completely missing the change in Zheng Wei’s state of mind. “That day, I impulsively asked Lin Jing for his contact information. My requirements for someone before I ask them of my own accord are quite high. There were many people who had been pursuing me back then, but I liked Lin Jing’s neutral treatment towards me. Over and over, I came up with various reasons to go visit him. When he smiled at me, I would be happy for a very long time. I would think about and analyze every sentence he spoke for an entire night. I was completely like a little girl who had fallen in love for the first time ever.”
“Did Lin Jing eventually reciprocate these feelings later on?” She shouldn’t ask this, but Shi Jie’s reason for coming was definitely to provoke her. Zheng Wei didn’t completely trust her words, but in the end, she still cared.
As expected, Shi Jie smiled bitterly and said, “If I said that Lin Jing later felt the same kind of love for me, and that all of the words of love he is saying to you now, all of the actions were previously practiced on me, would you continue displaying your aloof expression?”
She continued, saying, “Afraid now? Actually, you don’t really have to worry, all men are cold hearted. Only when in front of a certain person will they turn soft. I kept hoping that I was that person for Lin Jing, but it’s a shame that I wasn’t. From the start, Lin Jing had seen through my heart. He told me, I was very good, but I just wasn’t the person that he wanted to spend his entire life with. In other words, he didn’t love me. But I don’t care, as long as he’s willing to accept me, I can wait, wait for the day that he finally loves me. I don’t believe that there’s anyone better than me, who loves him more than I do. We were together for two years, and although we never committed and he might not have placed me in his heart, he will still think of me occasionally and that already makes me very happy. I think that anything is worth it for him. At that time, I knew clearly that he had been investigating President He. It was his first big case after becoming the Deputy Attorney General. He needed to succeed in order to prove his capability to those people who were dissatisfied with his promotion because of his young age. To tell the truth, President He was pretty nice to me, but I just desperately wanted to do something for the person I love… …”
Zheng Wei shuddered and said, “So you leaked Zhong Jian’s business secrets to Lin Jing, and he accepted them?”
“He thought it beneath him to ask me to do anything for him, of course. Maybe because President He didn’t hide me, in his circumstances, he would eventually fall sooner or later, I just didn’t want Lin Jing to work so hard… …”
“So what you’re saying is that Lin Jing didn’t reject your ‘good intentions’?” Zheng Wei clenched her teeth.
“At least, when I secretly put those documents in his briefcase, he didn’t say anything after. Plus, I know that those documents coincidentally were the crucial points as to why this case was able to go so fast. All people are like this, even though they know they can definitely achieve what they need to eventually, if there’s a shortcut, who would be willing to walk all the way around?”
“Do you know what I want to say the most right now? You’re really stupid!” Zheng Wei said ruthlessly.DAY 3/22
Shi Jie nodded. “I am stupid, he has now started working on Er Fen, but you probably won’t help him because you don’t love him above all else. But that’s unimportant, Lin Jing won’t care about this. In comparison to Er Fen’s case, I know he sees you as more important. This is the difference between loving and not loving. The first time I noticed you was at a Western restaurant near Zhong Jian. That day I arranged to meet Lin Jing to eat together and happened to see you and He Yi together there. My relationship with He Yi has always been pretty good, and that restaurant was also one which I had introduced to him, so I knew you were the girl who had the blind date with him. Lin Jing looked at you for a long time. That night, he brought me back home and I asked him to come in. He didn’t agree and I guessed that something must’ve gone wrong. I just didn’t imagine that it was you! After that, he gradually grew colder towards me. After a while, I called him when he was coming back from a friend’s wedding. I said, I miss you, and he said, Shi Jie, let’s break up, I found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Zheng Wei, who that person is, you know it even more clearly than I do.”
Zheg Wei remembered that night at Ruan Ruan’s wedding when she had been reunited with Lin Jing, but she had never guessed that there was such a story behind it.
“You can continue speaking.”
Shi Jie looked at the lights on the ocean flickering and said, “I was with him for two years. I used my entire body and heart to love him. He wasn’t my first man, but I always thought of him as my last one. In the end, he ended it with a single sentence. Lin Jing is a man who keeps his word, I also know this, but in the end, I really couldn’t accept his heartlessness. I cried, begged all I could, but no matter how noisy I was, no matter how annoying I was, he never got angry, but he never looked back either. I’m not afraid of your mocking, I even tried threatening him with my death before, but he wouldn’t even come to my house to see me. All he said was, it’s your own life. Please treasure it. His heart is truly extremely cruel.”
Listening to Shi Jie, Zheng Wei was a bit lost in thought. The person in Shi Jie’s memories was a Lin Jing she completely didn’t recognize. She didn’t know why, but she believed that what Shi Jie said was true.
“Afterwards I also communicated with him and learned that he really didn’t love me. So, I called him and asked him to dinner, just as an ending to our two year relationship. That day I waited until very late until he finally came, but he still was willing to come. I was already very satisfied. The moment I saw him, I realized that the only reason I had come up with so many excuses was just because I wanted to see his face again. We ate together but he was absent minded the entire time. This I didn’t mind. But then, the moment his phone rang, he left without saying another word… …”
“So you splashed him with red wine,” Zheng Wei finished off Shi Jie’s sentence.
Shi Jie laughed until tears were falling from her eyes. “So he really went to visit you, does it feel good to have a man at your beck and call?”
Zheng Wei chose to remain silent.
“There will never be a person as stupid as I am, I knew that he often went back and forth from the compound for you, so I kept going to find He Yi, hoping that he’d at least care a little after seeing me and He Yi together. Even just a little was good. This time, following you to the North Sea was also because of this. But when he saw me, he didn’t care whatsoever about who the man beside me was. He only cared about how I was obstructing your relationship with him. Zheng Wei, am I not as good as you? I’m prettier than you, more successful than you, love him more than you do, the only thing I can’t compare to you in is that he loves you and not me.”
To have a woman admit that the one man they loved the most not even have oneself in his heart, how cruel was that? Zheng Wei averted her eyes, she was afraid of such despair. It was like exposing oneself again.
The two women quietly sat next to the ocean, listening to the sound of the waves. They were each thinking about their own worries, love and beauty, intelligence and wealth, they were all things that we couldn’t get just because we wanted it.
In the end, Zheng Wei rubbed her sore calves and stood up. She said to Shi Jie, “I have one thing to say, it’s often use to comfort oneself when one feels extremely broken hearted. Now, I’ll give it to you. It’s very simple. If you agreed to bet, then you must accept your losses.”
Shi Jie left. Zheng Wei watched as her silhouette slowly disappeared from the end of her vision. The phone in her pocket had already rang many times when she finally picked up. Soon after, an extremely anxious Lin Jing hurriedly appeared before her.
“Didn’t I say to not walk to far? Why didn’t you pick up your phone? Don’t you know how dangerous it is here alone? Your already so old, yet you still act like a child who doesn’t know what to do!” Lin Jing rarely used such a heavy tone when speaking with Zheng Wei, but she new, it was only because he was worried that he was so out of control.
Zheng Wei looked at the man in front of her who got super nervous for her sake. In front of another woman who had loved him, it wasn’t that he had a heart of iron. Lin Jing to Shi Jie was like Chen Xiao Zheng to Zheng Wei. There would definitely come a day when her A Zheng would also become to Lin Jing of a Wei Wei. Perhaps every woman has met a Chen Xiao Zheng when they were young, then after, found their Lin Jing; and every man would’ve been Chen Xiao Zheng at some point in time in the past.
When he finally matured, he would become Lin Jing.
“Wei Wei, are you…” A worried look flashed through Lin Jing’s eyes.
Zheng Wei smiled sheepishly and said, “My clothes are too thick, I didn’t even hear it when my phone rang.”
Lin Jing saw her jacket covered in sand and sighed. He took off his own coat and wrapped it around her. “Do you have to turn every one of your clothes into this way?”
Zheng Wei smiled happily and sat back down on her jacket, looking up at Lin Jing then pulling him down. At first he didn’t want to, but couldn’t resist against her feigned innocent look. He couldn’t help but smile, carefully sitting down next to her.
She picked up the rock from before and continued drawing in the sand. After writing a few big words, she started to smile after looking at them. Lin Jing looked over too, and the only thing that was written was: Lin Jing is a bastard.
He smiled and stole her stone, writing down next to it: Zheng Wei is an idiot.
Zheng Wei hit him on the shoulder in mock anger, insisting on seizing the rock back. Helpless to the height gap between them, she couldn’t reach the rock no matter how hard she tried after he raised his arm. Lin Jing moved side to side, avoiding her attacks, conveniently erasing a few extra words. All that was left was their two names, and in-between their names was an additional word, and at the end there was a large question mark.
Zheng Wei suddenly quieted down. She lightly bit her bottom lip, her hand slowly creeping behind her back. Thankfully the night covered up her red, flushed face.
Lin Jing reached to pull her hand from behind her back but was avoided. He also seemed to not know what to say. All he said was an “um” sound, and Zheng Wei knew he was looking for an answer.
In the uncomfortable moment, another wave came, and Lin Jing grabbed her, pulling her back a few steps. After the ocean spray retreated, the traces that they had just made in the sand had all disappeared.
Lin Jing was a bit dissapointed, so Zheng Wei logically lied saying, “Oh, oh, what you just wrote, I didn’t see it. It was definitely some sort of scold. Forget it, let’s not argue anymore. I’m really tired, let’s go back.” She pulled at his sleeve and began walking back but he refused to move.
Just when Zheng Wei was about to continue sweet-talking to get away with it, Lin Jing unexpected knelt down on one knee. Zheng Wei got super scared and said, “This is… … what is… … what are you doing? Don’t scare… … scare… … scare me.” Ling Jing easily grabbed her wrist and sad, “Do you see it now?”
Panicked, she tried to deny it by covering her eyes with her other hand, but she forgot to cover her ears too.
“I’m very serious. Wei Wei, marry me, I’m only going to say this once, but I will take care of you for your entire life and make you happy.” The half kneeling Lin Jing looked up at Zheng Wei. She was still covering her eyes with a hand, not saying a word. He waited for a moment, but in the end was unable to calm the apprehension inside his heart. He forcefully pulled her hand away, but the palm of the hand he was holding was surprisingly wet.
“Crying? Why?” He had never imagined that she would cry at this moment.
His marriage proposal wasn’t creative in the slightest. Zheng Wei never thought that the same sentence that she had heard often in Hong Kong dramas and Korean dramas, when she became the recipient, the shock became really hard to respond to. Was this lifetime commitment? Was this the biggest compliment a man could give a woman? She wanted to calm down a bit and her tears felt unfamiliar. In the past, this had been her biggest dream since childhood. If life could go back to that first time, and let them once again become the Little Flying Dragon and Lin Jing from back then, how perfect would that be.
She recalled that pair of deep black eyes, that beautiful moonlight on the basketball court, recalled the despair on Shi Jie’s face, recalled Lin Jing’s mother Auntie Sun… … If she reached out her hand, then she wouldn’t allow herself to look back.
Zheng Wei said, “I’m sorry, Lin Jing, it’s too sudden, I didn’t prepare… …”
Lin Jing’s expression changed. Ever since kneeling down, his heart had been constantly beating frantically. He hated doing things that he was uncertain about but he couldn’t allow himself to not try this time. Zheng Wei’s response made his originally uncertain heart begin to fall.
“You mean to say… …” He tried to loosen his throat. He wouldn’t give up until the last moment– No, a better way of saying it was that even if she rejected him, it wasn’t necessarily the last moment.
Zheng Wei smiled slightly as she cried, “I don’t know if I’ll be a good wife, but I’m willing to try.”
She looked up from Lin Jing’s enthusiastic embrace, and through her hazy, tear-filled eyes, she saw the crescent moon. There was only a thin ring of moonlight, a thin, long curved shape, almost like a person? That was a lifetime, many women did not marry the person that was etched into their hearts. She got Lin Jing, and its not like she didn’t love him, so why should she be sad?
On their way back to the hotel together, Zheng Wei said, “Lin Jing… …”
“Hm?” His hand was grabbing onto hers too tightly, and Zheng Wei’s palm hurt a bit.
“Aren’t I supposed to get a ring?”
He laughed and said, “When I came out just now I was too rushed. I forgot it in the room.”
“Also, your expression just now was really unsophisticated.”
“It’s also my first time, I don’t have any experience.”
