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The New me - Chapter 48

Published at 30th of December 2018 03:26:05 PM


Chapter 48

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The journey going home felt long when in truth it was only half an hour as there was no traffic on the road. When the gates opened, I had to look at my surroundings carefully. From the well-maintained lawn to the mansion with tall columns, elaborate doorways and evenly spaced windows that speaks of classic architectural design, it was the first time I'm really appreciating it.

'How long will I stay here?' I asked myself.

With a heavy heart, I went straight to my room not forgetting to tell the maids that I already ate outside. Honestly, I haven't eaten yet. I just don't feel hungry.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I can't help but ask why? Why am I here? I thought I only fell asleep but I ended up here.

Then as emptiness occupied my heart, drowsiness crept and I fell asleep.

I dreamed of my past.

Mother said that when I was born, the sky was weeping and so was her. It was a mixture of sadness and joy. I weighed eight pounds and cried loudly. She had difficulties as she developed pregnancy-induced hypertension when she was in her second trimester.

At age two, I was a little overweight according to my mother's doctor and told her to lessen my intake of milk. Every day, I love going to the front porch to sit and give random neighbors a speech. It wasn't really a speech but it was all babbling and they'd gladly exchange conversations with me. Mother said that it was the cutest year I've been. Anyone who meets me would say that I look like a doll and she would feel proud of her own product. Father would chime in that he too had worked hard but my old mother would tell him he's no better than a donor.

At age four, my parents sent me to the kindergarten school. They bought me a cute pink bag, printed notebooks and crayons. They would send me up to the room then say goodbye after speaking with my teacher. It was the first time I'll be away with them so I bawled until I got tired and was sent home.

It was a year later that I put on my backpack and happily went with them after they had properly educated me about the need to go to school. I met and made some friends. I thought I'd always be happy but who knew I'd get bored easily. We only have few songs to sing and can only eat at a given time. Did my father lie when he said that I can eat whenever I'm hungry?

By age eight, I had an early understanding of the world. One person fails and the other pass. It was shown clearly when I had my test paper returned. On top of it was a big bold red mark indicating my math score. When I returned to my seat I happen to glance at my desk mate's score and it did not help my mood so right after I exited the school bus, I sobbed hard.

I was ten when I had enjoyed our music subject for my voice was praised. The teacher said that I had the best tone and perfect expression. I also learned creative ways to express myself more. In our drama class, students discover who they are and discover the connections they have with others.

At age twelve, I had registered to one of the social media platforms and would often browse the page of my crush. I was very indecisive to whether I'd hit the like button under his pictures but I would often save them on the computer. It was also the time that I noticed I had a bigger bust than my friends. It was so hard to run during physical education.

By fourteen years old, one day as I was lazing on the porch, mother felt a slight dizziness followed by her heart beating fast. We both thought she was having heart problems so we were getting ready to head out. Minutes later the chief officer of dad called and told us that he was shot. Mother and I were worried as we hurriedly came to the hospital. He was shot twice on his leg with several knife cuts on his body but thankfully it wasn't severe. Mother then persuaded him to stop and just apply to any available job postings yet father insisted to keep his position. He argued that the community was getting safer for their work based on the statistics they had.

The next year, I received my very first confession. I asked my friends how should I respond and they all said I needed to handle it myself. I regret asking them with that kind of response. I agreed to date the guy and he was my date in our prom. I wasn't the best dancer so I had stepped on his foot accidentally. Days after, he would not even respond to my messages then gossips were spread that we had broken up. I never told my parents about the relationship. For me, it's nonexistent. It's best to forget about it.

Age sixteen, I become familiar with a classmate. They were rich and would often gift her old things. We were not close so I was one of the very few who did not receive any. Unconsciously, I felt envious. I would buy things I don't need and show them off. My mother had already talked with me regarding my behavior but I was unsettled. In my quest to be the best I got acquainted with the wrong group and it ended badly. It was the first time my father got mad at me. It was something I wanted to erase forever.

I got into a relationship again when I attended my university. One was as short as three months. I had to break up with him as I felt like we're being rash with our relationship and he was always trying to be in control. While the other lasted two years until I caught him cheating. Who said that nerds don't cheat? Once they take on a meat, every male's the same. Never again I entered into one after graduation but I frequently had flings and open crushes. All my time and energy were given to my work.

Then one day, father's only living brother informed the family of his failing kidneys. As far as I know, he was having dialysis for over four years yet the doctor advised him for transplant. We, as their relative helped accumulate the necessary funds but there was no matching donor.

One fine day during the spring season, father shocked us when he revealed that he matched the test as the donor and it was that same day that the surgery was scheduled. Father had already retired and was manning a convenience store. There was no going back so we could only swallow our words and hope for a better result. We went with him during the operation and stayed at the hospital for two days. After that--

Knock, knock.

I woke up after hearing the maid knocking on my door. She dutifully informed me that evening meals were ready and mother was already downstairs. I said my thanks and told her to inform my mother that I'll come after a few minutes. She nodded in assent and went out.

After she left, I stood there motionless as my head was in thinking 'what happened again?




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