Qiao Tan Yuan held the mermaid wedding dress.
Qiao Tan Yuan kissed Shen Cheng’s cheek. ‘Shen Cheng, the dress is beautiful. I love it.’
‘I’m happy you love the dress,’ Shen Cheng said. ‘Go try it on. I want to see how beautiful you look in the dress.’
Qiao Tan Yuan walked past Gu Jiao Wu to the bed.
Gu Jiao Wu looked coldly at Shen Cheng and left the room.
Qiao Tan Yuan heard the door closed, dropped the dress and sat on the bed. She was drained.
Suddenly Shen Cheng held Qiao Tan Yuan’s waist and laid on top of her.
‘Shen…’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan pushed Shen Cheng’s chest away from her, but he held her waist tighter.
Shen Cheng kissed Qiao Tan Yuan. For a moment she was too frightened to react.
‘Stop,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan wanted Shen Cheng to let go of her. She hated his tongue inside her mouth. What was Shen Cheng doing? It was the first time he acted forcibly. She didn’t hate him, but she didn’t want him to kiss her. She used all her strength to push him off her and moved to the corner of the bed.
‘Shen Cheng… don’t be like this,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
‘Why didn’t you slap me?’ Shen Cheng asked.
Shen Cheng knew the answer. But he wished Qiao Tan Yuan would slap him. He would rather she hated him than pity him. At least if she hated him, he could swallow her to ease the pain in his heart.
‘Shen Cheng, don’t be like this,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan was frightened, but she didn’t want to hurt Shen Cheng.
‘Tan Yuan, in your heart do you love me even a little?’ Shen Cheng asked.
‘Shen Cheng, I…’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
‘Tan Yuan, I love you,’ Shen Cheng said.
Shen Cheng didn’t want to hear Qiao Tan Yuan reject him again. He would rather suffer being with her than suffer without her in his life. He loved her for too many years to lose her. He knew love couldn’t be forced so he didn’t fault Gu Jiao Wu for not loving Qiao Tan Yuan. But it didn’t stop him falling into the same trap Qiao Tan Yuan fell in, love couldn’t be forced and hard to escape.
Shen Cheng knew Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t love him. He knew it didn’t matter how much he loved Qiao Tan Yuan, he couldn’t replace Gu Jiao Wu in Qiao Tan Yuan’s heart. Qiao Tan Yuan loved Gu Jiao Wu to point even after they divorced, she couldn’t forget Gu Jiao Wu. If Gu Jiao Wu appeared in front of her, she couldn’t oppose the power Gu Jiao Wu had over her. He knew she couldn’t fight her feelings for Gu Jiao Wu, and she loved Gu Jiao Wu so much that she was scared of her own feelings.
Shen Cheng took advantage of Qiao Tan Yuan’s fear. He used her fear of loving Gu Jiao Wu to stay by her side. While she used him to protect herself from Gu Jiao Wu’s rejection, she never made room in his heart for him. Many women saw him as a good catch yet he chose to follow his heart, and make himself suffer.
Qiao Tan Yuan sat still on the bed. What was she supposed to say? She admitted she was selfish and a weakling in front of Gu Jiao Wu. Her love for Gu Jiao Wu scared her. She always lost every fight with Gu Jiao Wu. But before Gu Jiao Wu’s words angered and hurt her. What was she in Gu Jiao Wu’s heart? Fighting with Gu Jiao Wu and fighting her feelings for Gu Jiao Wu were two different things. It was harder for her to escape her love for Gu Jiao Wu than avoid fighting with Gu Jiao Wu.
Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t know what she needed to do, and how long it would take her to erase Gu Jiao Wu from her heart. She still loved Gu Jiao Wu so she instinctively pushed Shen Cheng far away. She knew it was unfair on Shen Cheng. Shen Cheng loved her. But the fair thing to do was to reject Shen Cheng completely. She looked down at the dress, picked it up and put it back in the box.
Qiao Tan Yuan forced herself to look at Shen Cheng’s pained eyes and returned the box to Shen Cheng.
‘Shen Cheng, I’m sorry,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan was wrong. She shouldn’t have been selfish if she knew she couldn’t accept Shen Cheng’s love.
‘Shen Cheng, I’m sorry,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan felt no matter how many times she apologized to Shen Cheng, it wouldn’t be enough.
Qiao Tan Yuan couldn’t hide the truth, she rejected Shen Cheng’s kiss and rejected Shen Cheng’s love.
‘Shen Cheng, take back it back,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. She calmly took off the ring and put it in the box. ‘Shen Cheng, I’m sorry. I don’t love you and I can’t marry you.’
Qiao Tan Yuan had to resolve her own feelings for Gu Jiao Wu, it wasn’t right of her to involve Shen Cheng.
It was the first time Shen Cheng saw the conviction in Qiao Tan Yuan’s eyes.
‘Shen Cheng, I’m sorry,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘I was selfish. I didn’t consider your perspective.’
‘Tan Yuan…’ Shen Cheng said.
‘I always tell myself to forget Gu Jiao Wu,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘But it’s hard to forget him.’
Gu Jiao Wu lived too deeply in Qiao Tan Yuan’s heart that years weren’t enough to forget him. She could only hide half of her real heart in front of Gu Jiao Wu.
‘I’ll keep trying to forget him and try not to be scared of him,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘I’ll try to be stronger. I’ll raise Xiao Bao, and provide a happy life for Xiao Bao. I don’t want to rely on anyone else, I want to rely on myself to take care of Xiao Bao.’
Shen Cheng didn’t take the box back. Qiao Tan Yuan calmly put the box in his hands.
‘Shen Cheng, let me be strong on my own and live a peaceful life with Xiao Bao,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘I’ll forget Gu Jiao Wu on my own.’
Shen Cheng’s heart ached. He didn’t expect Qiao Tan Yuan would choose to be on her own. His last hope was gone.
‘Tan Yuan, I won’t force you,’ Shen Cheng. ‘Before I was wrong. Let’s go back to the way it was. I want to marry you. I promise I won’t pressure you.’
‘No,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said firmly. She knew she wouldn’t change her mind. ‘Shen Cheng, Gu Jiao Wu’s right not to give Xiao Bao to me. If I can’t protect myself then how can I protect Xiao Bao?’
Qiao Tan Yuan vowed she would become stronger and independent. She would face Gu Jiao Wu on her own without Shen Cheng. She was going to protect Xiao Bao on her own, and not let anyone hurt Xiao Bao.
***
End of Chapter Thirty-Seven
Qiao Tan Yuan held the mermaid wedding dress.
Qiao Tan Yuan kissed Shen Cheng’s cheek. ‘Shen Cheng, the dress is beautiful. I love it.’
‘I’m happy you love the dress,’ Shen Cheng said. ‘Go try it on. I want to see how beautiful you look in the dress.’
Qiao Tan Yuan walked past Gu Jiao Wu to the bed.
Gu Jiao Wu looked coldly at Shen Cheng and left the room.
Qiao Tan Yuan heard the door closed, dropped the dress and sat on the bed. She was drained.
Suddenly Shen Cheng held Qiao Tan Yuan’s waist and laid on top of her.
‘Shen…’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan pushed Shen Cheng’s chest away from her, but he held her waist tighter.
Shen Cheng kissed Qiao Tan Yuan. For a moment she was too frightened to react.
‘Stop,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan wanted Shen Cheng to let go of her. She hated his tongue inside her mouth. What was Shen Cheng doing? It was the first time he acted forcibly. She didn’t hate him, but she didn’t want him to kiss her. She used all her strength to push him off her and moved to the corner of the bed.
‘Shen Cheng… don’t be like this,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
‘Why didn’t you slap me?’ Shen Cheng asked.
Shen Cheng knew the answer. But he wished Qiao Tan Yuan would slap him. He would rather she hated him than pity him. At least if she hated him, he could swallow her to ease the pain in his heart.
‘Shen Cheng, don’t be like this,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan was frightened, but she didn’t want to hurt Shen Cheng.
‘Tan Yuan, in your heart do you love me even a little?’ Shen Cheng asked.
‘Shen Cheng, I…’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
‘Tan Yuan, I love you,’ Shen Cheng said.
Shen Cheng didn’t want to hear Qiao Tan Yuan reject him again. He would rather suffer being with her than suffer without her in his life. He loved her for too many years to lose her. He knew love couldn’t be forced so he didn’t fault Gu Jiao Wu for not loving Qiao Tan Yuan. But it didn’t stop him falling into the same trap Qiao Tan Yuan fell in, love couldn’t be forced and hard to escape.
Shen Cheng knew Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t love him. He knew it didn’t matter how much he loved Qiao Tan Yuan, he couldn’t replace Gu Jiao Wu in Qiao Tan Yuan’s heart. Qiao Tan Yuan loved Gu Jiao Wu to point even after they divorced, she couldn’t forget Gu Jiao Wu. If Gu Jiao Wu appeared in front of her, she couldn’t oppose the power Gu Jiao Wu had over her. He knew she couldn’t fight her feelings for Gu Jiao Wu, and she loved Gu Jiao Wu so much that she was scared of her own feelings.
Shen Cheng took advantage of Qiao Tan Yuan’s fear. He used her fear of loving Gu Jiao Wu to stay by her side. While she used him to protect herself from Gu Jiao Wu’s rejection, she never made room in his heart for him. Many women saw him as a good catch yet he chose to follow his heart, and make himself suffer.
Qiao Tan Yuan sat still on the bed. What was she supposed to say? She admitted she was selfish and a weakling in front of Gu Jiao Wu. Her love for Gu Jiao Wu scared her. She always lost every fight with Gu Jiao Wu. But before Gu Jiao Wu’s words angered and hurt her. What was she in Gu Jiao Wu’s heart? Fighting with Gu Jiao Wu and fighting her feelings for Gu Jiao Wu were two different things. It was harder for her to escape her love for Gu Jiao Wu than avoid fighting with Gu Jiao Wu.
Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t know what she needed to do, and how long it would take her to erase Gu Jiao Wu from her heart. She still loved Gu Jiao Wu so she instinctively pushed Shen Cheng far away. She knew it was unfair on Shen Cheng. Shen Cheng loved her. But the fair thing to do was to reject Shen Cheng completely. She looked down at the dress, picked it up and put it back in the box.
Qiao Tan Yuan forced herself to look at Shen Cheng’s pained eyes and returned the box to Shen Cheng.
‘Shen Cheng, I’m sorry,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan was wrong. She shouldn’t have been selfish if she knew she couldn’t accept Shen Cheng’s love.
‘Shen Cheng, I’m sorry,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan felt no matter how many times she apologized to Shen Cheng, it wouldn’t be enough.
Qiao Tan Yuan couldn’t hide the truth, she rejected Shen Cheng’s kiss and rejected Shen Cheng’s love.
‘Shen Cheng, take back it back,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. She calmly took off the ring and put it in the box. ‘Shen Cheng, I’m sorry. I don’t love you and I can’t marry you.’
Qiao Tan Yuan had to resolve her own feelings for Gu Jiao Wu, it wasn’t right of her to involve Shen Cheng.
It was the first time Shen Cheng saw the conviction in Qiao Tan Yuan’s eyes.
‘Shen Cheng, I’m sorry,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘I was selfish. I didn’t consider your perspective.’
‘Tan Yuan…’ Shen Cheng said.
‘I always tell myself to forget Gu Jiao Wu,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘But it’s hard to forget him.’
Gu Jiao Wu lived too deeply in Qiao Tan Yuan’s heart that years weren’t enough to forget him. She could only hide half of her real heart in front of Gu Jiao Wu.
‘I’ll keep trying to forget him and try not to be scared of him,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘I’ll try to be stronger. I’ll raise Xiao Bao, and provide a happy life for Xiao Bao. I don’t want to rely on anyone else, I want to rely on myself to take care of Xiao Bao.’
Shen Cheng didn’t take the box back. Qiao Tan Yuan calmly put the box in his hands.
‘Shen Cheng, let me be strong on my own and live a peaceful life with Xiao Bao,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘I’ll forget Gu Jiao Wu on my own.’
Shen Cheng’s heart ached. He didn’t expect Qiao Tan Yuan would choose to be on her own. His last hope was gone.
‘Tan Yuan, I won’t force you,’ Shen Cheng. ‘Before I was wrong. Let’s go back to the way it was. I want to marry you. I promise I won’t pressure you.’
‘No,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said firmly. She knew she wouldn’t change her mind. ‘Shen Cheng, Gu Jiao Wu’s right not to give Xiao Bao to me. If I can’t protect myself then how can I protect Xiao Bao?’
Qiao Tan Yuan vowed she would become stronger and independent. She would face Gu Jiao Wu on her own without Shen Cheng. She was going to protect Xiao Bao on her own, and not let anyone hurt Xiao Bao.
***
End of Chapter Thirty-Seven
