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Published at 9th of April 2019 11:14:02 AM

Chapter 47

Zi Jue didn't protest to her choice . Instead he assisted her as they queue up in front of the ferris wheel ride . Yan Qing Shan felt stifled because despite still being gentle, his silence was unnerving . She felt the atmosphere turn from awkward to cold real quick . Was her first date destined to end in a calamity?

They sat quietly in the cabin as it slowly rotated its way up . Yan Qing Shan looked out from the trasparent glass windows taking in the beautiful skyline . The ferris wheel ride at night lived up to its reputation .

"Shan Er, do you think I'm very lame?"

Zi Jue's question pulled her out from her reverie . She looked at him and tilted her head in confusion . Lame? Was he lame? Right now, yes . He's being a very lame boyfriend . He could be more proactive and live up to his reputation . Yan Qing Shan wasn't the type to lie and she figured Zi Jue would appreciate her not making excuses for him .

"Right now, yes . I may be cluess of what a relationship is like . But I am aware that at this time, in this romantic atmosphere, you should really be making your move and quit being awkward . It's not like you . "

She replied matter-of-factly as she gazed directly in his eyes . He sighed and turned to her apologetic and somehow . . . embarrassed . However, there was also another emotion in his eyes that she couldn't explain .

"The truth is baby girl, I would have made my move on you multiple times now . Don't get it wrong . This is all new to me, as well . Still, I'm not that ignorant . I am just . . . just holding back . I may embrace you and kiss you on the forehead . It's not enough, though . It never was . Even now, I am sorely tempted to kiss you senseless even now . "

He paused for a second and exhaled sorrowfully .

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"Except, I haven't forgiven myself for that night . Even if you have, I don't think I ever will . Somehow, I feel I do not have the right to that privilege . I feel that kissing you now would drive me crazy with need . It's not a feeling . I really would go crazy . A crazed me, Yan Qing Shan, would yearn for more, would ask for more . I'm scared that I will drive you away with my actions and leave me for good . I can't take that and I can't take the possibility of hurting you again . I'm terrified, Shan Er . Terrified of what I'm capable of doing just to keep you . I can't mess up now . I'm at a loss here, wife . "

Zi Jue said solemnly, his eyes downcast and ashamed . He ran his hand on his hair frustratedly and blocked her from seeing his current state . Yan Qing Shan gaped at him, stunned . Is this the reason why he was so reluctant the whole time, why he wasn't his confident self?

Humans were truly a bunch of curious creatures . Their complex emotions and internal turmoils render even a powerful man such as the one in front of her to have deep-seated insecurities . It seems she has taken his complexity too lightly .

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In a way, Yan Qing Shan is also baffled at this kind of Zi Jue in front her . She couldn't help but think of the past . The times that he had hurt her, was it also because of this insecurity?

She stared at him as if seeing him for the first time . This person who was hailed as the perfect man, is here with her catering to her whim of riding a ferris wheel, baring his raw self and exposing his weakness . If his enemies saw him right now, it would spell his destruction . And yet, he still lowered down his guard because she was displeased .

There never was a perfect person . Even her, with all her brains and capabilities . Both of them were merely humans navigating in this treacherous world . They both have their own undeniable faults . Hers was her apathy . And this was his . At this time, they were just two imperfect people trying to make this work .

Anyone who would find out about their past, about the things she had been through under his hands back then would surely tell her to leave him . To get back at him for all his sins against her .

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However, change is the only constant thing is this world . And this man in front of her wasn't the same man he was back then . She wasn't the same . She had been given a new life, a chance to start over . It was just right to give that same opportunity of a new beginning to him .

Not everyone deserves a second chance, Yan Qing Shan knew that .

But if she doesn't take a gamble, how would she know that he didn't deserve it?

Yan Qing Shan drew nearer to him . She cradled his face gently in her hands . With a firm resolve in her heart, she clumsily closed the distance between their lips .Please download our sponsor's game to support us!