Chapter 5
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Impossible.
That can't be.
I mean... ...he and I are complete polar opposites.
The Calamitis I wrote about was a fearless, heartless asshole who cared not for morals. The words "Shame" and "Embarrassment" didn't even exist in his vocabulary.
Compared to him, I'm a cowardly daisy.
I'm a really nice person. (Although I do admit I'm a bit of a snob.) I'm also lazy and introverted. Oh! and I can't forget! I'm DEATHLY afraid of spiders. Emphasis on the "Deathly".
There's just no way!
Maybe this is a coincidence, right?
Right!
Okay, let's test this out. In my novel I had written that when Calamitis opened the shining door, he was met with a System message that asked if Calamitis wanted his freedom. He of course answered "Yes" and was then was asked if he was willing to be a teacher to Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston. Who are these two gentlemen you may ask? Why, they're the Protagonist and Antagonist of course!
If I am really Calamitis, and not some random smoke monster thingy which had coincidentally coincided with Calamitis's plot, then I should be asked to teach Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston. If I am not, I should be asked some other random question like, I don't know, do you wish to gain your freedom by turning into a donkey? Honestly any question is better than being here as long as I am not Calamitis.
Okay...
It's time for the moment of truth.
I slowly reached out my left hand and held the knob.
I took a a deep breath. I then slowly exhaled.
One...
Two...
Three...
GO!
I pushed open the door with all my force, making it slam open with a loud "BANG!"
...
...
...
Am I safe?
Just beyond the door is a completely white room.
I wasn't given a System message... ...do I go in?
I lifted up my leg.
And at this moment, I decided to quote Neil Armstrong and say: "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind".
Because honestly, the fate of mankind rests on who or what I really am.
...
I step into the room.
And then it came.
[Ding!]
[Hello, resident of the Corridor of Wandering Souls. I'm sure you've had enough time to reflect on your mistakes. That is why I will give you an opportunity. Do you want your freedom?]
OH! IT CAME!
"Yes, please."
I decided to be polite for good measure.
[Well, isn't that refreshing? Well, dear resident. Are you willing to complete a task for me? Don't worry, it's an easy one. Even a toddler could do it. Would you please teach and raise two very important individuals for me? Their names are Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston.]
（＊〇□〇）...!
...
This must be a prank, right?
I just got here... ...am I really fated to destroy the world? I'm pretty sure that over time, this world will get to me and I'll want to keep it safe.
Another thing--I can't kill anyone. Yeah, sure, I think I can stomach killing a squirrel or something but a Human? Or Elf? Or Beast man?
NO WAY!
There is no way in hell that I'd be able to do that!
And besides, what if I meet up with Calamitis's father? He's going to beat the shit out of me because his asshole (and bad ass) son became a milk-drinking, blanket-hugging coward!
Just thinking about it makes me shiver with fear.
"No." I decisively answered the System. I'd rather stay in this hell hole then experience the life of a world destroyer!
I was greeted with silence. Oddly enough, I didn't get another message. Neither did the door close on me like it should.
Did the System glitch out on me? Or is it still processing?
I waited for a few seconds before I attempted to step back into the Corridor of Wandering Souls.
That's right. I ATTEMPTED to step back.
But guess what happened?
You guessed it.
I can't move.
Not. An. Inch.
Urrrrrrrgghhhhhh. Move you damn foot!
Systemmmm!!! I know this is your doiiiiinnnggg!!! Why?!
I played a game of internal tug-of-war before I gave up.
"System?" I asked the white void. I didn't really expect an answer back.
[Could you please repeat your answer, o' resident of the Corridor of Wandering Souls?]
Oh shit.
Was the answer "No" just a fancy decoration?
That is just fucked up!
As a human, I have my rights! I'll get my lawyer on you System once I find one!
"Yes."
Fine. I'll play your game...
..until I think of a better plan.
You won't get away with this!
Because believe or not, I'm your Darth Vader!
I'M YOUR FATHERRRRRR!!!!!
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
Impossible.
That can't be.
I mean... ...he and I are complete polar opposites.
The Calamitis I wrote about was a fearless, heartless asshole who cared not for morals. The words "Shame" and "Embarrassment" didn't even exist in his vocabulary.
Compared to him, I'm a cowardly daisy.
I'm a really nice person. (Although I do admit I'm a bit of a snob.) I'm also lazy and introverted. Oh! and I can't forget! I'm DEATHLY afraid of spiders. Emphasis on the "Deathly".
There's just no way!
Maybe this is a coincidence, right?
Right!
Okay, let's test this out. In my novel I had written that when Calamitis opened the shining door, he was met with a System message that asked if Calamitis wanted his freedom. He of course answered "Yes" and was then was asked if he was willing to be a teacher to Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston. Who are these two gentlemen you may ask? Why, they're the Protagonist and Antagonist of course!
If I am really Calamitis, and not some random smoke monster thingy which had coincidentally coincided with Calamitis's plot, then I should be asked to teach Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston. If I am not, I should be asked some other random question like, I don't know, do you wish to gain your freedom by turning into a donkey? Honestly any question is better than being here as long as I am not Calamitis.
Okay...
It's time for the moment of truth.
I slowly reached out my left hand and held the knob.
I took a a deep breath. I then slowly exhaled.
One...
Two...
Three...
GO!
I pushed open the door with all my force, making it slam open with a loud "BANG!"
...
...
...
Am I safe?
Just beyond the door is a completely white room.
I wasn't given a System message... ...do I go in?
I lifted up my leg.
And at this moment, I decided to quote Neil Armstrong and say: "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind".
Because honestly, the fate of mankind rests on who or what I really am.
...
I step into the room.
And then it came.
[Ding!]
[Hello, resident of the Corridor of Wandering Souls. I'm sure you've had enough time to reflect on your mistakes. That is why I will give you an opportunity. Do you want your freedom?]
OH! IT CAME!
"Yes, please."
I decided to be polite for good measure.
[Well, isn't that refreshing? Well, dear resident. Are you willing to complete a task for me? Don't worry, it's an easy one. Even a toddler could do it. Would you please teach and raise two very important individuals for me? Their names are Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston.]
（＊〇□〇）...!
...
This must be a prank, right?
I just got here... ...am I really fated to destroy the world? I'm pretty sure that over time, this world will get to me and I'll want to keep it safe.
Another thing--I can't kill anyone. Yeah, sure, I think I can stomach killing a squirrel or something but a Human? Or Elf? Or Beast man?
NO WAY!
There is no way in hell that I'd be able to do that!
And besides, what if I meet up with Calamitis's father? He's going to beat the shit out of me because his asshole (and bad ass) son became a milk-drinking, blanket-hugging coward!
Just thinking about it makes me shiver with fear.
"No." I decisively answered the System. I'd rather stay in this hell hole then experience the life of a world destroyer!
I was greeted with silence. Oddly enough, I didn't get another message. Neither did the door close on me like it should.
Did the System glitch out on me? Or is it still processing?
I waited for a few seconds before I attempted to step back into the Corridor of Wandering Souls.
That's right. I ATTEMPTED to step back.
But guess what happened?
You guessed it.
I can't move.
Not. An. Inch.
Urrrrrrrgghhhhhh. Move you damn foot!
Systemmmm!!! I know this is your doiiiiinnnggg!!! Why?!
I played a game of internal tug-of-war before I gave up.
"System?" I asked the white void. I didn't really expect an answer back.
[Could you please repeat your answer, o' resident of the Corridor of Wandering Souls?]
Oh shit.
Was the answer "No" just a fancy decoration?
That is just fucked up!
As a human, I have my rights! I'll get my lawyer on you System once I find one!
"Yes."
Fine. I'll play your game...
..until I think of a better plan.
You won't get away with this!
Because believe or not, I'm your Darth Vader!
I'M YOUR FATHERRRRRR!!!!!
Impossible.That can't be.I mean... ...he and I are complete polar opposites.The Calamitis I wrote about was a fearless, heartless asshole who cared not for morals. The words "Shame" and "Embarrassment" didn't even exist in his vocabulary.Compared to him, I'm a cowardly daisy.I'm a really nice person. Although I do admit I'm a bit of a snob. I'm also lazy and introverted. Oh! and I can't forget! I'm DEATHLY afraid of spiders. Emphasis on the "Deathly".There's just no way!Maybe this is a coincidence, right?Right!Okay, let's test this out. In my novel I had written that when Calamitis opened the shining door, he was met with a System message that asked if Calamitis wanted his freedom. He of course answered "Yes" and was then was asked if he was willing to be a teacher to Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston. Who are these two gentlemen you may ask? Why, they're the Protagonist and Antagonist of course!If I am really Calamitis, and not some random smoke monster thingy which had coincidentally coincided with Calamitis's plot, then I should be asked to teach Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston. If I am not, I should be asked some other random question like, I don't know, do you wish to gain your freedom by turning into a donkey? Honestly any question is better than being here as long as I am not Calamitis.Okay...It's time for the moment of truth.I slowly reached out my left hand and held the knob.I took a a deep breath. I then slowly exhaled.One...Two...Three...GO!I pushed open the door with all my force, making it slam open with a loud "BANG!".........Am I safe?Just beyond the door is a completely white room.I wasn't given a System message... ...do I go in?I lifted up my leg.And at this moment, I decided to quote Neil Armstrong and say: "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind".Because honestly, the fate of mankind rests on who or what I really am....I step into the room.And then it came.Ding!Hello, resident of the Corridor of Wandering Souls. I'm sure you've had enough time to reflect on your mistakes. That is why I will give you an opportunity. Do you want your freedom?OH! IT CAME!"Yes, please."I decided to be polite for good measure.Well, isn't that refreshing? Well, dear resident. Are you willing to complete a task for me? Don't worry, it's an easy one. Even a toddler could do it. Would you please teach and raise two very important individuals for me? Their names are Thomas Hark and Fur Charleston....!...This must be a prank, right?I just got here... ...am I really fated to destroy the world? I'm pretty sure that over time, this world will get to me and I'll want to keep it safe.Another thing--I can't kill anyone. Yeah, sure, I think I can stomach killing a squirrel or something but a Human? Or Elf? Or Beast man?NO WAY!There is no way in hell that I'd be able to do that!And besides, what if I meet up with Calamitis's father? He's going to beat the shit out of me because his asshole and bad ass son became a milk-drinking, blanket-hugging coward!Just thinking about it makes me shiver with fear."No." I decisively answered the System. I'd rather stay in this hell hole then experience the life of a world destroyer!I was greeted with silence. Oddly enough, I didn't get another message. Neither did the door close on me like it should.Did the System glitch out on me? Or is it still processing?I waited for a few seconds before I attempted to step back into the Corridor of Wandering Souls.That's right. I ATTEMPTED to step back.But guess what happened?You guessed it.I can't move.Not. An. Inch.Urrrrrrrgghhhhhh. Move you damn foot!Systemmmm!!! I know this is your doiiiiinnnggg!!! Why?!I played a game of internal tug-of-war before I gave up."System?" I asked the white void. I didn't really expect an answer back.Could you please repeat your answer, o' resident of the Corridor of Wandering Souls?Oh shit.Was the answer "No" just a fancy decoration?That is just fucked up!As a human, I have my rights! I'll get my lawyer on you System once I find one!"Yes."Fine. I'll play your game.....until I think of a better plan.You won't get away with this!Because believe or not, I'm your Darth Vader!I'M YOUR FATHERRRRRR!!!!!
