“Haaa… I really aren’t fit to be a teacher, huh?”
It was midnight. I was sitting on the veranda outside the Kageishi Family’s main residence, in the Japanese garden. Illuminated by the moonlight, I, Kageishi Sumire, gazed at the paper lanterns gently floating through the woods out in the distance, letting out a sigh.
What changed after I became an adult? Back when I was a student, I would frequently let sighs like this. I’d giggle in awe at the patterns on my teacup while going “Haaaa, so tiresome!”, and that would have been the end of it. But nowadays, my sighs are those of depression. My heart skipped a beat when Aki told me ‘Choose to become a teacher, or go down the road of being an illustrator’. Since he was putting me on the spot to decide, I thought that the answer would have been as clear as day.
Up until now, I’ve lived my life while constantly running away. I put a lid on the things I wanted to do. No, I act like I put a lid on them. I cover it all up. Really, I’m the worst type of coward. Deceiving those around me, lying to about these feelings, even to children ten years younger than me—and even still, they’re the ones helping me out. Really, there’s gotta be a limit as to how unfit of a teacher one can be. Still, being all depressed and all doesn’t do anything to help my case. I cannot waste this precious chance that Aki and Iroha-chan have given me.
When I was little, they always told me to be a good girl. To get better grades than everyone else, to be more polite than anyone else, and to always do the best I could. It was all centered around being logical. So much so that I even felt like I was suffocating, but I never wondered if it would be fine to break out of that loop. I can’t believe that my grandfather or any of my relatives would have a hidden side to them, something they cover up the same way I do. If they really do, then it would give us grounds for a discussion, at least according to Aki.
Why do you all act so strict, always trying to teach me manners, even when you’re just the same? I’ll be the one teaching you this time.
I never thought that there could be such a way to oppose them. When I was invited to the [5th Floor Alliance], I had thought about how Ooboshi Akiteru always gives me opinions and perspectives I never would have thought of myself. He just keeps tearing down this rules-driven world around me, without even breaking a sweat.
“Maybe that’s why I feel so calm right now, huh?”
Before, the only person I could show my face to as Murasaki Shikibu-sensei was the salesperson of the doujin circle I worked in. Now, there’s the [5th Floor Alliance]’s LIME group, and I can express myself to Iroha-chan and Mashiro-chan. If those two weren’t all over Aki…
“I bet I’d be really happy if we got married~”
I think I’d probably fall in love with his chivalrous spirit alone. Though, it’s not like I have any intentions of getting married. My policy is to act like the houseplant in the corner of the room, letting these younglings go on their quest to fulfill their love.
“Sumire-sensei…do you like Aki?”
“No, not really. Well, between like or hate, I’d choose like. But I don’t have any interest in getting in the way of another couple.”
I shook my head. That voice questioning me, it seemed to be filled with jealousy.
“Really? Thank god.”
Come on, you don’t have to be so worried. Well, this courageous aspect of her is also a charming point of hers—Hm?
“Eh, Mashiro-chan?! What are you doing here?!”
“Mashiro thought of helping you out with searching for proof.”
The person who just stepped forward with a gust of wind was the same person I was thinking of, Tsukinomori Mashiro-chan. A leaf was caught in her silver-blond hair, and she looked at me with a cute pout, clearly voicing her displeasure.
“Hurry up and clear the mission, so we can go to the shrine as quickly as possible. Mashiro doesn’t want Aki and Iroha-chan to be alone for too long…”
“Mashiro-chan… Got it. I’m sorry, okay? It’s because I got caught up in something weird.”
“No. It’s not your fault,” Mashiro-chan said with a sharp tone, taking off her shoes as she stepped out to the veranda.
As she was doing so, I spotted something on her right hand. I saw that her fingertips were a bit red and swollen.
“Hey, that hand.”
“Hm…? Ahh, this. Mashiro was working for a while at the keyboard. Don’t mind it.”
I’d already heard it from Aki and the others, but the reason that Mashiro-chan was present in this village was that she came here with her responsible editor so that she could focus on her work. Although I knew that she was writing novels, I had no idea that she already had an editor, which really caught me by surprise. Seeing the state of her fingers, it doesn’t seem to be some teenage phase, but rather something she’s diligent and serious about.
“What about your editor? Your deadline is really close, right?”
“Mashiro escaped through the window. Unless Mashiro says anything, Kanaria-san won’t just peek into the room. It should be fine.”
“Escape through the window… I see, I never thought about that!!”
“No, you can’t do that, Shikibu.”
“Ahahaha, you’re totally right there! Really, I don’t ever keep my deadlines, so… Huh?”
For a second, it felt like my tone changed. Like I was being overly familiar?
“…Ah! I-I’m sorry. Mashiro, I just happened to start talking casually! Yeah, that’s it!”
“A-Ah, it’s fine. Mashiro would be happier with a friendly teacher.”
As fast as that, the atmosphere between the two of us grew awkward. Come to think of it, there haven’t been many opportunities for the two of us to talk like this. Other than the first meeting after she transferred into our school, or a few times after class. Discussions about her previous school, her current life, all the stuff you’d expect a teacher and student to talk about, we’ve had none of them.
What kind of face does she make when she talks in private? What does she laugh about? What she gets angry about? I have no idea. What should I bring up in conversation? Should I talk about next week’s anime? The hottest recent BL couplings? Mmmm… I can’t really judge the distance between us. As the two of us were searching the room, I was frantically trying to think of a topic of conversation.
I know this isn’t the time for idle chatter, but still, I can’t stand this tense, awkward atmosphere. As I was thinking, coming up with ideas just to swiftly reject them, Mashiro-chan got the jump on me.
“Sumire-sensei, you’re an adult, right?
“Eh? Well, I might have a thing or two to say, I guess. And I have at least some degree of pride in being an adult.”
“Then… Maybe Mashiro could ask you.” Mashiro-chan took a deep breath, then continued. “Recently, Mashiro’s editor told her some things. Things that she still doesn’t understand. But she just couldn’t stop thinking about them.”
“Eh, is that about something perverted?! What is that person doing to my pure Mashiro-chan?!”
“Shikibu.”
“Yes, I’m sorry. I got too excited.”
—Wait, what’s with this weird feeling of deja vu?
“Just giving things to the [5th Floor Alliance] is bad, and if Mashiro doesn’t receive anything in return, this relationship will eventually break down. And Mashiro doesn’t really understand what she meant.”
“To the [5th Floor Alliance]?”
Mashiro was truly serious about this. So I had to give this just as much thought.
“A relationship of equal exchange. In other words, a win-win. If there isn’t anything being given in return, then it’ll break down, especially for a professional relationship. Maybe that’s what your editor wanted to tell you.”
“Mashiro doesn’t really get it.”
“I think that it’s still a bit too complicated for a high school student.”
“Do you also have a mutual interest-based relationship with the [5th Floor Alliance], Murasaki Shikibu-sensei?”
“…Yeah. Ooboshi-kun—Aki has promised me, after all.”
He told me that day about how he would use Honey Play Works and their insane influence to find employment for me, pulling me out of my family’s grasp. I know that it isn’t just for my sake; Aki has his own reasons for working with Honey Play. But even so, he took my hand, that hand helplessly quivering in fear, and took me into the [5th Floor Alliance], allowing me to take a step forward.
And while I was explaining this to Mashiro-chan, she spoke up.
“So, what if that relationship disappears?”
“Eh?”
“For example, what if this house search succeeds? Your discussion with your grandfather succeeds? You’d finally be free, and could devote everything to your job as an illustrator… What would the [5th Floor Alliance] be able to give you?”
“That’s…”
The words caught in my throat. There was nothing wrong with her doubts, and her reasoning was as sharp as a blade. The [5th Floor Alliance] is just a small circle of people that a singular student built up; it doesn’t have anything backing it. It might sound weird coming from me, but once I stop being a teacher, there are tons of people who would probably ask for Murasaki Shikibu-sensei’s illustrations. If that were to happen, I can’t say for sure what would keep me in the [5th Floor Alliance]. But rather than worrying about the future like this, another, more pressing doubt stirred up inside of me.
“Why do you ask something like that? What are you worrying about, Mashiro-chan?”
It’s as if she has some sort of connection to the [5th Floor Alliance], and that she’s also worried about the future of the [5th Floor Alliance]… Just what happened with her?
“…”
She put her hand to her chest and took a deep breath, almost as if she were afraid.
“Mashiro… is scared. She fears that her ties with the [5th Floor Alliance] will be severed. Aki… is a good person, so he’ll probably do his best for us, even if it makes his life harder.”
“That’s—”
“If Sensei becomes free, then the [5th Floor Alliance] might be in deep trouble. Because once Murasaki Shikibu-sensei is free, then you don’t have to choose the [5th Floor Alliance] anymore. But Aki will probably still think that’s fine. If bringing down the [5th Floor Alliance] is more efficient for one person’s happiness, he’ll definitely do it… that’s just the kind of person Aki is.”
“Mashiro-chan…”
She isn’t wrong about that. As Aki’s cousin and fake girlfriend, that’s something you’d expect from her. Even though she only recently transferred, she knows a whole lot about Aki. But from her way of phrasing it, I can feel another connection in there…
“That’s why, Mashiro is scared. If the [5th Floor Alliance] were to disband, she might lose her connection with Aki… and… she doesn’t want that…”
“W-Wait, Mashiro-chan. What do you mean by that? You aren’t part of the [5th Floor Alliance], aren’t—”
“Yeah. Tsukinomori Mashiro isn’t. But—there is another identity that Mashiro holds, one that is part of it.”
As if to shake away the fear and uncertainty of the future that had been plaguing her, she looked me straight in the eye. Overwhelmed by her emotions, I could only await her next words.
“Makigai Namako… that is the other identity Mashiro holds.”
“Haaa… I really aren’t fit to be a teacher, huh?”
It was midnight. I was sitting on the veranda outside the Kageishi Family’s main residence, in the Japanese garden. Illuminated by the moonlight, I, Kageishi Sumire, gazed at the paper lanterns gently floating through the woods out in the distance, letting out a sigh.
What changed after I became an adult? Back when I was a student, I would frequently let sighs like this. I’d giggle in awe at the patterns on my teacup while going “Haaaa, so tiresome!”, and that would have been the end of it. But nowadays, my sighs are those of depression. My heart skipped a beat when Aki told me ‘Choose to become a teacher, or go down the road of being an illustrator’. Since he was putting me on the spot to decide, I thought that the answer would have been as clear as day.
Up until now, I’ve lived my life while constantly running away. I put a lid on the things I wanted to do. No, I act like I put a lid on them. I cover it all up. Really, I’m the worst type of coward. Deceiving those around me, lying to about these feelings, even to children ten years younger than me—and even still, they’re the ones helping me out. Really, there’s gotta be a limit as to how unfit of a teacher one can be. Still, being all depressed and all doesn’t do anything to help my case. I cannot waste this precious chance that Aki and Iroha-chan have given me.
When I was little, they always told me to be a good girl. To get better grades than everyone else, to be more polite than anyone else, and to always do the best I could. It was all centered around being logical. So much so that I even felt like I was suffocating, but I never wondered if it would be fine to break out of that loop. I can’t believe that my grandfather or any of my relatives would have a hidden side to them, something they cover up the same way I do. If they really do, then it would give us grounds for a discussion, at least according to Aki.
Why do you all act so strict, always trying to teach me manners, even when you’re just the same? I’ll be the one teaching you this time.
I never thought that there could be such a way to oppose them. When I was invited to the [5th Floor Alliance], I had thought about how Ooboshi Akiteru always gives me opinions and perspectives I never would have thought of myself. He just keeps tearing down this rules-driven world around me, without even breaking a sweat.
“Maybe that’s why I feel so calm right now, huh?”
Before, the only person I could show my face to as Murasaki Shikibu-sensei was the salesperson of the doujin circle I worked in. Now, there’s the [5th Floor Alliance]’s LIME group, and I can express myself to Iroha-chan and Mashiro-chan. If those two weren’t all over Aki…
“I bet I’d be really happy if we got married~”
I think I’d probably fall in love with his chivalrous spirit alone. Though, it’s not like I have any intentions of getting married. My policy is to act like the houseplant in the corner of the room, letting these younglings go on their quest to fulfill their love.
“Sumire-sensei…do you like Aki?”
“No, not really. Well, between like or hate, I’d choose like. But I don’t have any interest in getting in the way of another couple.”
I shook my head. That voice questioning me, it seemed to be filled with jealousy.
“Really? Thank god.”
Come on, you don’t have to be so worried. Well, this courageous aspect of her is also a charming point of hers—Hm?
“Eh, Mashiro-chan?! What are you doing here?!”
“Mashiro thought of helping you out with searching for proof.”
The person who just stepped forward with a gust of wind was the same person I was thinking of, Tsukinomori Mashiro-chan. A leaf was caught in her silver-blond hair, and she looked at me with a cute pout, clearly voicing her displeasure.
“Hurry up and clear the mission, so we can go to the shrine as quickly as possible. Mashiro doesn’t want Aki and Iroha-chan to be alone for too long…”
“Mashiro-chan… Got it. I’m sorry, okay? It’s because I got caught up in something weird.”
“No. It’s not your fault,” Mashiro-chan said with a sharp tone, taking off her shoes as she stepped out to the veranda.
As she was doing so, I spotted something on her right hand. I saw that her fingertips were a bit red and swollen.
“Hey, that hand.”
“Hm…? Ahh, this. Mashiro was working for a while at the keyboard. Don’t mind it.”
I’d already heard it from Aki and the others, but the reason that Mashiro-chan was present in this village was that she came here with her responsible editor so that she could focus on her work. Although I knew that she was writing novels, I had no idea that she already had an editor, which really caught me by surprise. Seeing the state of her fingers, it doesn’t seem to be some teenage phase, but rather something she’s diligent and serious about.
“What about your editor? Your deadline is really close, right?”
“Mashiro escaped through the window. Unless Mashiro says anything, Kanaria-san won’t just peek into the room. It should be fine.”
“Escape through the window… I see, I never thought about that!!”
“No, you can’t do that, Shikibu.”
“Ahahaha, you’re totally right there! Really, I don’t ever keep my deadlines, so… Huh?”
For a second, it felt like my tone changed. Like I was being overly familiar?
“…Ah! I-I’m sorry. Mashiro, I just happened to start talking casually! Yeah, that’s it!”
“A-Ah, it’s fine. Mashiro would be happier with a friendly teacher.”
As fast as that, the atmosphere between the two of us grew awkward. Come to think of it, there haven’t been many opportunities for the two of us to talk like this. Other than the first meeting after she transferred into our school, or a few times after class. Discussions about her previous school, her current life, all the stuff you’d expect a teacher and student to talk about, we’ve had none of them.
What kind of face does she make when she talks in private? What does she laugh about? What she gets angry about? I have no idea. What should I bring up in conversation? Should I talk about next week’s anime? The hottest recent BL couplings? Mmmm… I can’t really judge the distance between us. As the two of us were searching the room, I was frantically trying to think of a topic of conversation.
I know this isn’t the time for idle chatter, but still, I can’t stand this tense, awkward atmosphere. As I was thinking, coming up with ideas just to swiftly reject them, Mashiro-chan got the jump on me.
“Sumire-sensei, you’re an adult, right?
“Eh? Well, I might have a thing or two to say, I guess. And I have at least some degree of pride in being an adult.”
“Then… Maybe Mashiro could ask you.” Mashiro-chan took a deep breath, then continued. “Recently, Mashiro’s editor told her some things. Things that she still doesn’t understand. But she just couldn’t stop thinking about them.”
“Eh, is that about something perverted?! What is that person doing to my pure Mashiro-chan?!”
“Shikibu.”
“Yes, I’m sorry. I got too excited.”
—Wait, what’s with this weird feeling of deja vu?
“Just giving things to the [5th Floor Alliance] is bad, and if Mashiro doesn’t receive anything in return, this relationship will eventually break down. And Mashiro doesn’t really understand what she meant.”
“To the [5th Floor Alliance]?”
Mashiro was truly serious about this. So I had to give this just as much thought.
“A relationship of equal exchange. In other words, a win-win. If there isn’t anything being given in return, then it’ll break down, especially for a professional relationship. Maybe that’s what your editor wanted to tell you.”
“Mashiro doesn’t really get it.”
“I think that it’s still a bit too complicated for a high school student.”
“Do you also have a mutual interest-based relationship with the [5th Floor Alliance], Murasaki Shikibu-sensei?”
“…Yeah. Ooboshi-kun—Aki has promised me, after all.”
He told me that day about how he would use Honey Play Works and their insane influence to find employment for me, pulling me out of my family’s grasp. I know that it isn’t just for my sake; Aki has his own reasons for working with Honey Play. But even so, he took my hand, that hand helplessly quivering in fear, and took me into the [5th Floor Alliance], allowing me to take a step forward.
And while I was explaining this to Mashiro-chan, she spoke up.
“So, what if that relationship disappears?”
“Eh?”
“For example, what if this house search succeeds? Your discussion with your grandfather succeeds? You’d finally be free, and could devote everything to your job as an illustrator… What would the [5th Floor Alliance] be able to give you?”
“That’s…”
The words caught in my throat. There was nothing wrong with her doubts, and her reasoning was as sharp as a blade. The [5th Floor Alliance] is just a small circle of people that a singular student built up; it doesn’t have anything backing it. It might sound weird coming from me, but once I stop being a teacher, there are tons of people who would probably ask for Murasaki Shikibu-sensei’s illustrations. If that were to happen, I can’t say for sure what would keep me in the [5th Floor Alliance]. But rather than worrying about the future like this, another, more pressing doubt stirred up inside of me.
“Why do you ask something like that? What are you worrying about, Mashiro-chan?”
It’s as if she has some sort of connection to the [5th Floor Alliance], and that she’s also worried about the future of the [5th Floor Alliance]… Just what happened with her?
“…”
She put her hand to her chest and took a deep breath, almost as if she were afraid.
“Mashiro… is scared. She fears that her ties with the [5th Floor Alliance] will be severed. Aki… is a good person, so he’ll probably do his best for us, even if it makes his life harder.”
“That’s—”
“If Sensei becomes free, then the [5th Floor Alliance] might be in deep trouble. Because once Murasaki Shikibu-sensei is free, then you don’t have to choose the [5th Floor Alliance] anymore. But Aki will probably still think that’s fine. If bringing down the [5th Floor Alliance] is more efficient for one person’s happiness, he’ll definitely do it… that’s just the kind of person Aki is.”
“Mashiro-chan…”
She isn’t wrong about that. As Aki’s cousin and fake girlfriend, that’s something you’d expect from her. Even though she only recently transferred, she knows a whole lot about Aki. But from her way of phrasing it, I can feel another connection in there…
“That’s why, Mashiro is scared. If the [5th Floor Alliance] were to disband, she might lose her connection with Aki… and… she doesn’t want that…”
“W-Wait, Mashiro-chan. What do you mean by that? You aren’t part of the [5th Floor Alliance], aren’t—”
“Yeah. Tsukinomori Mashiro isn’t. But—there is another identity that Mashiro holds, one that is part of it.”
As if to shake away the fear and uncertainty of the future that had been plaguing her, she looked me straight in the eye. Overwhelmed by her emotions, I could only await her next words.
“Makigai Namako… that is the other identity Mashiro holds.”
