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Dad has been acting strange lately.
No, well, there’s never a day Dad isn’t strange, but should I say that it’s been worse than usual lately?
Time has passed and it was now the beginning of September. The eventful summer break was over and the second semester had started. Even though summer break had ended, the weather was still hot enough to make you sweat, and the cicadas were still crying outside. Do they not get hot? There probably isn’t a lot left, but they’re still energetic.
It has now been half a year since I traveled back in time and 3 months since Mom and Dad went on their first date. Now that I think about it, time sure goes by fast.
After all that, a lot of things happened during the summer break.
Mm, if I had to choose the biggest change, then as I thought, Mom and Dad becoming a lot closer has to be the biggest thing.
After their first date at the start of summer, they would spend time together and go on dates every weekend as if they’ve truly become a couple. Honestly, it sometimes felt bizarre, but this was the truth.
Whenever they walked together, they would hold hands and link their arms. They would tease each other and share light physical affection as well. It got to the point where the big bros and sis in their class, who teased them at first, would get mad and tell them to tone their flirting down. Honestly, they make even my toes curl.
Dad no longer sees Mom as a child.
Mom no longer says ‘I like you’ over and over again like a simple child and now approaches Dad while behaving like a girl her age.
They both got really close to me as well. That’s what I believe.
Although Mom is fundamentally closer to me, after that fight, Dad started caring about me a lot more. Well, it wasn’t as much of a drastic change as his relationship with Mom, but we still mess around with each other and banter occasionally.
Still, how should I say it?
Basically, he was a dad who was more like a big bro than a dad, but should I say he has gradually become more like a dad? It feels weird now that I say it.
He plays with me, jokes around with me, and worries about me.
I believe that Dad has changed. As he promised me before, I believe that he’s trying his best to change.
But, lately······.
“······He’s acting strangely.”
“So, from your point of view, Jaim, how is your dad acting strangely?”
In response to my comment, Mom simply tilted her head and asked that.
Ja Saeyeon. My mom.
She had large eyes and would always have an innocent smile on her face. Her brown hair and the flower pin in her hair were some of my kind and gentle mom’s characteristics.
She’s a lot better than before, but when she shows her innocent side like this sometimes, I get worried for her as her daughter. Even though I thought Mom would notice this issue more than I did. I pondered for a moment before I eventually answered her.
“Like I said, how do I explain it······. I feel like Dad has been distancing himself from us lately.”
“Mmm······. Now that I think about it, it does feel like that······.”
“You didn’t come home with Dad today either.”
I spoke while glancing at Dad’s empty room.
It was currently after school. If it were like before, then we would have all come home together, but lately, Dad has been disappearing by himself to go somewhere else.
It’s only been a few days since we used to come home together. Even if he didn’t come home with us on some days, he would return quickly, but now he doesn’t come back until much later.
As if he doesn’t want to be home.
“Also, even if he comes home, he shuts himself in his room now.”
He claimed that he was researching something, but I honestly have no idea what he’s been doing in there.
A short while back, he would either ask me for help or ask to research together, or at the very least, he would play along if I entered his room in order to mess around.
As of late, he’s been flat out locking his door and showing no signs of coming out.
“It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to forget Dad’s face.”
Well, this is a bit of an exaggeration. I still follow him to school and we eat together, after all.
But Dad would always look as if his thoughts are elsewhere. Whenever our eyes occasionally meet, he would quickly avert his gaze for some reason. Not only to me, though, but to Mom as well.
“Are you not worried, Mom?”
Mom smiled slightly as if she were slightly sad in response to my complaints.
“Well, Jjaro probably also has times where he doesn’t feel good.”
Mom returned to her normal giggling expression before she continued.
“It seems Jjaro has been wanting to focus on his work more lately. Mom told me that if your husband wants some time to himself, then you should provide him that. If you do that, then you’ll be able to enjoy a longer married life.”
“You’re really understanding when it comes to weird things, Mom······.”
I know that she’s big-hearted, but as her daughter, I sometimes wish Mom would be selfish sometimes. Well, it’s because she’s like this that she’s my mom.
“What are you two talking about? Madam, Miss.”
A voice came from the side while I was letting out a sigh, so I turned my head.
“Ah, Miss Jihye. Wow······. Are you giving us this?”
“I felt like if you’re going to be talking about something, then it would be better to also have some refreshments. But we’re going to be having dinner soon, so you shouldn’t have too much, okay?”
Jihye smiled slightly in response to Mom’s reaction and courteously placed two cups of juice in front of me and Mom.
“Tea would have most likely suited this more, but this is better for the hot weather, isn’t it? Ah, I’m the one who baked the cookies.”
Jin Jihye. A robot maid who had followed me here from the future.
Her official name is XMR-XXI ‘Eureka’. She looks like a human, but she’s a real robot that became commoditized in the future. Though there are times where she sometimes thinks she’s human.
Although she took care of me like a mom would ever since I was little, I had distanced myself from her for various reasons, but I’ve been trying to open myself up to her more as of late.
“Thanks.”
“My pleasure.”
I gave her the same response I’ve been giving her lately, but it seems just that much was enough to make her happy as Jihye smiled. She then adjusted her black and white traditional maid outfit before taking a seat. I guess she wanted to squeeze in as well. She enjoys gossiping, after all. Jihye looked at me and Mom and asked.
“So what were you two talking about?”
“Jaim said that Jjaro has been acting weird lately.”
Jihye blinked her eyes in surprise and turned to ask me.
“Is that so? What about his behavior do you think is weird?”
It seems I’m the only one who had a sense of crisis.
“I mean, Dad has been focusing only on his work lately, hasn’t he?”
“Certainly, Master hasn’t been coming out of his room much lately.”
Nevertheless, it seems Jihye was more knowledgeable than Mom since she immediately understood what I meant. Jihye glanced towards Dad’s room worryingly before nodding her head and continuing.
“But, well, Master is only human as well, so wouldn’t he also have times where he isn’t feeling well? Or he wants to focus on his research.”
“······I thought you understood, but you ended up saying the same thing Mom did.”
It seems I’m the only one in this house who thought this was an issue.
Jihye smiled bitterly as I let out a small sigh and spoke.
“But, Miss, Master was originally······.”
The front door opened at that moment. Everyone turned their heads.
“I’m home.”
“Ah, Jjaro!”
Speak of the Devil, it was Dad.
He had slightly curly, disheveled hair and a pair of rimless glasses. Seemingly, he believes that he’s handsome, but his face honestly looks plain to me. Well, his face isn’t that bad, but I still feel like Mom is wasted on him. Fortunately, I resemble Mom.
My dad. Jin Jaro. Self-proclaimed greatest scientist of this era, a ‘Mad Scientist’. I honestly feel like that last part is a bit excessive, and I do actually tease him about it, but it’s even more troubling since I can’t sincerely deny his claim.
Jihye stood up and received Dad’s backpack as he took his shoes off. I recall her once saying that it was unfortunate that she couldn’t receive his coat as well since he was still wearing his summer uniform. She was a natural maid.
“You didn’t come home with the Missus or the Miss, but you got home just in time for some snacks. Would you like to join us? I baked the cookies.”
It was almost as if the conversation we just had never happened as Jihye behaved like a courteous maid.
Dad loosened his necktie and smiled.
“No, it’s fine. We’re going to have dinner soon anyway.”
“But the cookies are good······.
Dad chuckled once he heard Mom mutter that disappointingly while munching on her cookie and spoke.
“Jihye made them, so of course they would be. Saeyeon, you shouldn’t eat too much either. We have to eat dinner soon. You’re going to get fat.”
“Uuh, Jihye said that as well.”
“While you’re at it, why not learn how to bake cookies from Jihye next time? You like snacks, after all, so they’ll probably taste even better if you bake them yourself.”
After saying that, Dad started to head towards his room. I unintentionally stopped him.
“Dad, don’t be like that and enjoy these snacks with us. You can gossip with us as well.”
Dad smiled and turned towards me. Our eyes met for a moment, but shortly after, he shook his head.
“······Next time. It also doesn’t feel right joining a bunch of girls when they’re gossiping.”
He averted his gaze and then, while still smiling, Dad spoke towards Jihye.
“Now then, I’ll be in my room, so call me when dinner is ready.”
“Ah, yes. Understood.”
Dad received the bag that Jihye was holding back from her and entered his room. The door closed with an audible ‘click’.
There was a short, awkward silence afterward. Mom spoke up.
“······Nothing seemed odd, though?”
“Yeah. He’s behaving like he usually does.”
“No, he was acting completely strange just now.”
I instinctually gave a rebuttal to Mom and Jihye’s remarks. However, the two looked at each other with their similar appearances and spoke as they tilted their heads.
“Really? I honestly can’t tell······. He was smiling, too.”
“He did seem a little tired, but that’s something that could happen when you don’t feel well.”
“He ignored us completely just now! He went straight to his room as soon as he got home.”
No matter how you look at it, he was trying to avoid us just now. He refused our invitations so blatantly.
“A while back, he would normally ask us what we were eating and sit down to chat in situations like this. He would also do something similar when we were watching dramas.”
“Ah, now that I think about it, Jjaro hasn’t been watching any dramas lately.”
“No, that’s not what I’m talking about······.”
The bright look that appeared on Mom’s face as she believed she finally realized what was weird about Dad was very worrying. In contrast to Mom’s satisfied expression, Jihye looked concerned.
“I see. If from the Miss and the Madam’s perspectives, Master has been behaving strangely as of late, then this really is a big problem.”
Jihye clenched her fists and stood up.
“I’m a robot maid! An existence that manages the household! If I didn’t notice that there’s a problem in the atmosphere that’s looming over the household, then I’ll be disqualified as a maid! This is a large problem! It endangers my very being!”
“Ooh, finally······.”
Although the tone of her voice sounded as if she still didn’t know what the problem was.
“Madam, if there’s something else about Master’s recent behavior that seems odd, then what do you think it is?”
“I wonder······. Weird things that Jjaro has done as of late······.”
Mom folded her arms seriously and started letting out an audible ‘Hmm’ sound. That’s the sound of Mom’s brain being worked at maximum power. Jihye started to contemplate as well as if she intended to brainstorm alongside Mom. It’s because she does this that she seems like an actual person. It’s also because of this that she resembles Mom.
It seems everyone was simply pondering as I could only hear the sound of the clock ticking. Tick-tock.
Well······. I honestly have some complicated feelings about this, but the sheer fact that my two moms listened to what I had to say and were thinking together for my sake made me happy. I could feel that they cared about me sincerely.
“Ah, I know!”
A glint of light appeared in Jihye’s eyes.
“As I thought, isn’t he upset because you ate Master’s ice cream that one time, Madam? Master seemed to have really liked that ice cream.”
“······Oh yeah.”
I’m the idiot for having expected something from this person. I felt somewhat pathetic, so I grasped my head, but Mom, who had received an unexpected blow, spoke in a panic.
“T-That day was hot, so it couldn’t be helped! Jjaro also said that he wouldn’t let me off easily if I turned the air conditioner on! Ah, that’s right! It’s because of the electricity bill! The electricity bill! Jjaro got upset last time, didn’t he?! He said the electricity bill was high because Miss Jihye fired lasers everywhere in an attempt to get rid of mosquitoes!”
“I’m a robot maid! There’s no way that I could possibly sit around and allow even a single drop of blood to be shed in the household in which I’m serving in! Harmful insects and vermin must be exterminated!”
“······It’s fine, you two can stop now.”
As I expected, no one understood.
I could only let out a deep sigh as I watched Mom and Jihye go at each other with ‘who made Dad upset the most’. Mom and Jihye must have noticed me let out a sigh, as they stopped bickering and glanced at me for a moment before looking at each other.
With a gentle expression, Jihye spoke to me as if she were trying to comfort me.
“But Miss, wasn’t Master originally this sort of person?”
“······.”
And once my expression became dark due to those words, Jihye panicked.
“······Miss?”
Yeah.
That’s the problem.
In the future, Dad becomes a truly competent person who invents robot maids and establishes a flourishing business. Jihye is also one of the robot maids that Dad had made in the future.
······Well, I heard that he got fired from his company in the end.
Honestly, I only found out about that last part after I came to the past.
Of course, that’s probably because the number of times I’ve seen Dad’s face in the future can be counted on my hands. The number of times I’ve talked to him is much fewer than that.
Future Dad was a person who only cared about his work. He never came home and always lived in his research lab or his company and showed no interest in me whatsoever.
And most importantly, he chased Mom out.
When I was still young, well, I’m still an elementary school student right now, so I’m technically young right now as well, but when I was at an age of which I only have vague memories of now, Mom left. The reason was a domestic dispute she had with Dad. At that time, Dad had said this to mom: ‘From the very beginning, I’ve never seen you as a girl.’.
After that incident, I don’t remember seeing Mom ever again.
That’s why I thought to myself: I should go back in time and make Dad like Mom. Let’s make him see her as a girl.
While spending time with the younger versions of Mom and Dad, I did my best to get them together. I thought my efforts were gradually bearing fruit. I believed that things were slowly getting better.
However.
“······It almost feels as if we’ve gone back to the very beginning.”
Once I uttered those words, both Mom and Jihye looked troubled.
I haven’t confessed everything yet. Mom still doesn’t know, after all. She doesn’t know that Dad was cold to me in the future and that he broke up with her.
I didn’t even want Mom to know this.
Mom. My lovely mom. I’m not sure if I should say this about my kind and friendly mom, but my mom who was sometimes innocent to an idiotic degree. My mom who believes that she’ll get married to Dad in the future, give birth to me, and that we simply live happily.
My mom who I barely even remember the face of because she left in the future.
I want to protect this mom of mine. I want to create that future.
That’s why I don’t want Dad to become cold and start distancing himself from me and Mom.
So Dad’s smiling face has been bothering me lately.
That smile, how should I say it······?
That’s right. His smile looks as if he’s about to burst out in tears.
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“Well, you have to be a bit more understanding, Jaim. Jjaro’s probably not behaving like that out of malice.”
And, in response to my complaint, Nanda Oppa smiled bitterly and simply said that to me. I pouted slightly.
The next day, at Mom and Dad’s high school, I used one of the breaks to meet Nanda Oppa at the school library. We probably shouldn’t talk in the library, but this much should be fine.
“Haha, you look cute when you pout like that as well.”
I pouted in order to express that I was upset, but Nanda Oppa just laughed as if he found my behavior to be cute and patted my head. I honestly didn’t dislike this, so my expression inadvertently relaxed.
Nanda Oppa. Shin Nanda. Not only is he Dad’s friend, but he becomes a world-class super trot star in the future. It’s quite impressive if you think about it. Both Dad and Nanda Oppa become quite the incredible people.
It may be obvious, but I’m also a fan. His number 1 fan, at that. I was acknowledged as his number 1 fan last time, so I can go around declaring this boldly.
He had clear, shining eyes and a sharp nose. His hair was also combed back elegantly and his skin was clean. He was the polar opposite of Dad who just looked plain. The clothes and accessories he would occasionally show off displayed his forward-thinking fashion sense that was going to become trending in the future. Of course, his singing ability was first class as well. He had a good personality and superb manners as well. The matured, future Nanda Oppa was also amazing, but for him to be this amazing even though he’s still a student······. Aah, Nanda Oppa······.
“Uhm, Jaim? It’s hard for me to move if you stick that close to me······.”
“Ah, I’m sorry, Nanda Oppa. Ehehe······.”
It seems I let my mind leak out too much. I released his arm and moved a bit to the side. About 5cm?
Once I let go of his arm, Nanda Oppa went back to working on his score and spoke.
“There’s definitely a reason for Jjaro’s recent behavior. He has a bit of a complicated side to him, after all.”
“Well······. He did go back and forth a bit during the summer break······.”
He did get a lot better than before, but even during the summer break, Dad would sometimes distance himself from me and Mom. He would smile and be friendly, but he would draw a line somewhere.
“There’s probably a lot on his mind since he obtained a family, something which he had always hated until now.”
I understood what Nanda Oppa meant as he said that while smiling bitterly.
Dad lived by himself ever since he was a kid. His parents, who prioritized their work more than him, ended up neglecting him and, in the end, they went as far as to break all contact with him and disappear overseas. After that, Dad hated the very idea of ‘family’.
Thus, he hated Mom because she had a happy family, and he hated me, his future daughter. He had a twisted personality as well.
“Saeyeon and Jihye probably feigned ignorance because they’re aware of this. So that you wouldn’t worry, Jaim.”
Nanda Oppa glanced at me for a moment before turning back to his score.
“So, I understand your feelings, Jaim, but leave Jjaro alone for now. He probably has a lot on his mind right now.”
“If you say it like that, then it sounds like I’m complaining to Dad without knowing anything.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Nanda Opp let out a small sigh in response to my grumbling before continuing.
“I’m just telling you to be a bit considerate.”
“I know, but that’s why I’m annoyed.”
I didn’t hide my frustration and stuck my lips out.
“Mom and I are Dad’s family now.”
“······.”
Nanda Oppa seemed as if he wanted to say something, but he closed his mouth.
“I mean, if there’s a difficult issue that’s bothering him, then I feel like we could help him by sharing the load······. But Dad keeps telling us to not worry about it as if he can handle it all by himself. Just how great does he think he is?”
I believe that families are supposed to be there for you if you’re going through something hard and difficult. I feel like if he opened up to me, Mom, and Jihye, then we could laugh and work together.
“······Yeah, you’re right, little lady.”
Nanda Oppa nodded and let out a small sigh.
“All right. I’ll have a word with Jjaro if I see him.”
Does Dad know that he’s making the people around him worry about him this much?
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“Does that mean you’ve finally decided to go back to the future?”
“······How does it turn out like that?!”
Once I shouted that and struck the table after getting angered by her smiling face as she said that indifferently, Big Sis Nabom wiped away the juice that had spilled.
“I was simply saying that as a joke. How rude.”
“If someone is talking to you seriously, then listen for a bit!”
Despite my complaint, Big Sis Nabom disregarded it as if a dog were barking somewhere and went back to reading her book. How annoying. I want to pour juice all over that book.
Classes were currently ongoing. Since I honestly found it hard to be in the classroom during this time, I came to the infirmary, but I ended up meeting someone completely unexpected.
Ha Nabom. Dad’s upperclassman-cum-agent from the future who was dispatched here in order to watch over me. Now that I think about it, there are too many people from the future around me.
“But why are you here? You’re even skipping class.”
What a delinquent. Big Sis Nabom simply turned the page of her book.
“This is a good way to pass the time. The classes are honestly boring.”
······Of course, she’s working as an agent in the future, so high school classes must be boring for her.
While drinking some juice from the fridge which the school nurse would constantly keep stocked in order to let the students drink some juice whenever they wanted, I calmly stared at Big Sis Nabom.
Silver, curly hair that reached her shoulders. Half-opened eyes that made her look as if she were constantly tired. A vague smile on her face. She felt like an outsider who would distance herself from others, but some of the male students would occasionally ask me about Big Sis Nabom. What does she like, what kind of person is she, etc etc. If they’re that curious, then they should ask her themselves. Well, I did frequently receive snacks for the half-hearted answers I gave them.
I do think that she’s a pretty-looking person. She has a good sense of style as well.
With a strapping physique and long legs. Even though she would always make do with packed lunches or ramen, she didn’t have a lot of extra flab. I guess you could say that she wasn’t skinny or flat, but at a perfect degree of elegance.
The fingers that were turning the pages were also long and pretty. She doesn’t have any nail polish on, but her neatly-trimmed nails shined charmingly.
And······. Mm. Those things are certainly······ how should I put it? Should I say that they look as if they would be pleasant to touch? They don’t give off an absorbing feeling that Dad would sometimes mention, but they were definitely impactful.
Big Sis Nabom looked at me and smiled teasingly.
“What’s wrong? Are you jealous of my breasts?”
“I-I’m not jealous! You cow!”
What exactly has she been eating for them to grow so big? Do her shoulders not hurt?
“Well, I do understand the envy a kid who’s still developing would have towards the charm of a mature woman.”
“I told you I’m not jealous! I heard that nothing good comes from having large ones.”
“There’s no need for you to give yourself a mental victory. Being interested in bountiful chests is a trait of little children.”
“Who are you calling a little child?! What does that make Dad, then?!”
“Men are all little children. It’s all right. You’ll probably grow a bit once you get older. Yup. That’s right. Your types are also in demand. Some people even prefer them like that because they could be closer to your hearts.”
“······That pitying gaze is seriously annoying.”
I shouldn’t have looked at her. After seeing me grumble, Big Sis Nabom chuckled and returned her gaze to her book before speaking.
“Still, isn’t the situation right now better than the future you came from, kid?”
“······.”
I thought that she would continue to tease me for a while, but after trying to retort to her unexpected comment for a moment, my mouth ended up closing. Big Sis Nabom smiled.
“I understand what you mean by Underclassman Jin Jaro’s behavior being weird, but at the very least, I feel like this is better than when you lived with the future version of Underclassman Jin Jaro, where he wouldn’t respond to you at all and would completely forget about your existence.”
Her words strangely felt as if they were stabbing at me, so I complained.
“······How do you know about that?”
“I told you before, didn’t I? I did a complete investigation before I was dispatched here.”
“I seriously don’t like that all-knowing tone of yours.”
“Is that so? Nevertheless, it’s the truth, so it can’t be helped.”
I snarled, but Big Sis Nabom chuckled at my reaction.
I also got a bit closer to this girl as summer break went by. No, I don’t like her. In truth, she’s my enemy.
Well, at the very least, I grew tired of calling her ‘weird girl’, so I stopped.
Big Sis Nabom’s duty is to take me back to the future. She actually almost took me back once.
Making sure no problems occur while she’s watching is an additional task. That’s why whenever I talk to her like this, she asks me if I’ve decided to return to the future. She can’t take me back by force or something, it seems.
“In any case, from this big sister’s point of view, it feels like you’re being selfish. You’ll be able to escape from continuing to only be in your developing state if you learn how to be sufficiently satisfied with what you have.”
“You always have to include an insulting comment at the end.”
“I can’t help my twisted personality.”
It’s a bigger crime since she’s doing this knowingly.
I let out a deep sigh and spoke.
“Of course······. My situation may be better now, and it may just be me being selfish, but it scares me.”
Big Sis Nabom closed the book she was reading once I said that and turned her body towards me. She looked straight at me with somewhat gentle eyes.
I wonder why. It’s a secret to Dad and everyone else, but sometimes, there are times where I want to talk about things I’ve been holding deep inside me with this big sis. It might be because she’s also from the future that I subconsciously believe that she’ll understand me.
If I talk to her, then even Big Sis Nabom would listen to me seriously like this.
“What are you afraid of, kid?”
I hesitated, but I let out another sigh and answered.
“······I’m afraid that same future might happen in the end.”
Big Sis Nabom listened to me silently.
The future won’t change, that’s what I learned.
I traveled back in time in order to change the future. In order to reach a future where Mom and Dad don’t fight, Mom and Dad get married because they love each other, Dad properly sees Mom as a girl, Mom doesn’t leave, and the three of us live happily. Well, yeah. Fine. While including Jihye as our housekeeper.
Moreover, as a result of me traveling back in time, Mom and Dad already went through the relationship-ending fight which they were originally supposed to experience in the future. Because I was here, it’s a bit embarrassing to say that this was because of me, but they managed to not break up and resolve the issue. Dad started to open up to Mom as well, and if you consider how they go on dates, I think he properly sees her as a girl. As I said before, I sometimes worry that they might cross the line way too soon.
But that means future Dad should have changed, and yet he still hasn’t come looking for me. He hasn’t contacted me either.
If I think about it carefully, then if that problem occurs and I don’t return to the past, then the same problem would still happen.
However, if that’s the case, then why?
Is it perhaps because they’re going to grow further apart like this?
The strength in my body left me and made me drop my head, so I could only hear Big Sis Nabom’s voice.
“I wonder about that. I have a rough grasp of what you’re complaining about, but······.”
When I raised my head, Big Sis Nabom was reading her book again as she spoke.
“If you have a complaint, then wouldn’t it be better to personally tell that to your dad, Underclassman Jin Jaro, instead of me?”
“······How could I tell Dad about this?”
I stuck my lips out and Big Sis Nabom answered.
“You were able to talk to me, weren’t you?”
I unintentionally ended up freezing in place because of those words.
“Aren’t you contradicting yourself, kid? Even though you think your dad shouldn’t deal with his problem alone and should share it with you and Underclassman Ja Saeyeon, even though that’s what you believe a family is, in reality, you’re not trying to share your problem with your dad either. Despite talking to Underclassman Shin Nanda and me about it.”
“······.”
I was honestly at a lost for words. It felt as if a proper blow was dealt against me.
Big Sis Nabom reasoned with me while she continued to look at her book.
“Even now, you found being in the same classroom as your dad to be uncomfortable, so you came here to the infirmary, right?”
“······Well, that’s.”
“Isn’t that proof that you’re distancing yourself from your dad?”
I was about to furtively avert my gaze in order to avoid answering the question, but those words made me turn back. Before I knew it, Big Sis Nabom had removed her gaze from her book and was looking at me.
This person occasionally stabs at weird things like this.
Additionally,
“I believe that being able to talk honestly, is one of the merits of having a family.”
Like this, she would have this envious, sad, and vexed look on her face.
Big Sis Nabom reached her hand out and stroked my hair like she once would.
I sometimes wonder. How much does Big Sis Nabom know? With what knowledge did she come here to observe me and Dad?
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“So have a talk with Jaim.”
It was lunchtime. Nanda spoke to me with a worried look and tone.
“Honestly, I did tell Jaim what I did yesterday so that she wouldn’t worry, but you’ve definitely been acting strangely as of late.”
“How am I acting strange?”
Once I responded like that without looking up from my lunch, Nanda spoke in a serious voice.
“The fact that you’re acting like this right now.”
“What, are you saying that the way I’m eating my lunch is weird?”
Certainly, it would be normal to eat the meals provided by the school. It may seem strange to bring a packed lunch and eat it at a club room.
“But what do you want me to do? Jihye said that as a robot maid responsible for our household, she wouldn’t yield about this. You’ve also been stealing some of my lunch as well.”
Honestly, I feel like I might also be a bit abnormal. This sort of thoroughness.
She said this the last time she came to school, but it seems Jihye wasn’t pleased by the fact that I was eating these mass-produced meals. Something about one’s heart not being contained within the meals. Although that was a statement that would make the cafeteria ladies of the world stand up in anger and it was also something that I don’t feel like a robot should be saying, well, she said it’s her pride, so I guess I’ll respect that.
Still, it would be great if she refrained from furtively teasing me about ‘an affection-filled packed lunch made by a mistress’.
Once I gave him that mumbled answer, Nanda let out a deep sigh and spoke.
“I’m asking you why you’re eating here with me instead of with Saeyeon and Jaim.”
“······.”
Those words made my chopsticks-holding hand stop moving.
It’s obvious, but Jihye makes Saeyeon and Jaim packed lunches as well.
At first, some of the kids would either be interested or tease me about it, but now there wasn’t a single person who would look at me strangely or tease me if I ate a packed lunch in the classroom.
And, naturally, I started coming to the clubroom like this once the 2nd semester started.
······I guess it would be better to at least eat lunch with them from now on. I don’t want to be seen weirdly, after all.
“So, what’s the problem?”
After I went back to quietly eating my lunch, Nanda went back to displaying his normal pleasant smile and spoke.
“As I thought, is the idea of having a family still difficult for you?”
Shin Nanda. My one and only friend.
He has a good personality and he’s trustworthy as well. Honestly, I think that his friendship is more than I deserve, but it’s because of that.
“······Well, yeah.”
I nodded.
“······I see.”
Nanda smiled bitterly at my answer.
Nanda is keen and I’m the type of person whose inner thoughts are displayed all over his face. Nanda had told me this several times before as well.
It was because of this, that he most likely pretended as if he were convinced right now.
On a side note, Jaim consults Nanda about these sort of things, huh?
“Nevertheless, how about talking with Jaim?”
I nodded at Nanda as he grinned.
“All right. I’ll consider it.”
He most likely knows that I don’t actually intend to do it.
It’s good to have a friend who’s very understanding, but at the same time, it might actually not be a great thing.
I’m thankful for his concern. I’m also thankful for how he turned a blind eye like this. I’m thankful for how he said that it’ll help me if I talked about what was on my mind as well.
It’s because of these things that it’s a bit painful for me since I can’t say it right now.
But how can I tell anyone?
The fact that Saeyeon is going to die in the future.
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After our first date at the beginning of summer, I decided on one thing.
That I will never break up with Saeyeon.
Upperclassman Nabom would always tell me that time paradoxes don’t exist. That there’s no way to travel to the past and intervene with the present, therefore, there’s also no way to change the future.
I couldn’t accept that. I couldn’t understand. Even though I had already decided to not break up with Saeyeon, to never hurt her, to accept her, and to look towards the same place with her, I couldn’t understand why I was going to fight with her in the future and make Jaim come back to the past like this.
So in response to my question as to why I break up with her, Upperclassman Nabom warned me. That if I heard the answer, then I will truly break up with her for that very reason. That the future will genuinely become unchangeable.
I ignored the warning and Upperclassman Nabom answered.
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“⎯⎯⎯2 years from now, Miss Ja Saeyeon will die.”
Ο
Saeyeon will die.
2 years from now.
Words that could make one think that the other person was telling a bad joke and make you upset.
However, instead of getting genuinely upset, I ended up being convinced.
To be exact, it was more like I understood.
I wanted to believe that it was a lie. I hoped they were baseless words.
But that expression, which looked as if she were about to start crying, as if she were doing her best to hold back her tears and smile, made it very clear that it was the truth.
That’s why I did my best to hide the fact that I had learned this.
I decided to open up to her. I resolved myself to not brush aside Saeyeon’s hand for the second time. That’s why I did my best to smile as much as possible throughout the summer break.
As usual, no, closer than usual.
If you think about it, there were still 2 years left. Thinking about these sort of things was unbearable, but it wasn’t a short time. I might be able to find a way. If so, then I wanted to spend time with Saeyeon and smile together for now.
Honestly, I think I did well. During the summer break, I went on several dates with Saeyeon, and I went out here and there with friends and family. I believe that compared to when I used to spend every day shut in my room, I made much brighter memories.
To the point that I wished that time would continue and repeat.
That’s why I want to cry.
That’s why I have to smile.
Well, I originally didn’t smile a lot anyway.
However, there’s a limit to everything.
The closer and closer it gets. The more and more I open up.
Because I know that the end was definitely approaching. All of these moments were going to change into instances that will never come back.
Even though I know. Even though I decided to endure despite this.
Little by little. Like a crack. Like how droplets of water would slip between your fingers and, eventually, all of the water in your hand would be gone.
That’s why it’s been difficult for me to face Saeyeon and Jaim recently.
Because whenever I see either Saeyeon or Jaim, I remember those words.
“······Now that I think about it.”
It’s like that whenever I see this person as well.
It was after school. As usual, I avoided Saeyeon and Jaim today as well by telling them I had something to do before heading to the club room, and, as I expected, Upperclassman Nabom was also there.
Sitting in her usual spot next to the window, Upperclassman Nabom gave me a passing comment while reading a book and crossing her legs comfortably.
“Miss Jaim said that you’ve been behaving weirdly lately, Underclassman Jin Jaro.”
“······She told you as well?”
I answered normally after clearing my throat.
Upperclassman Nabom spoke while keeping her eyes fixated on the pages of her book.
“Well, these and those things did happen, but we got a lot closer during the summer break. Did she not come to my house once saying that she had nowhere else to go?”
Now that I think about it, something like that did happen.
“You shouldn’t worry the people around you so much.”
She commented casually.
Even after what happened previously, my relationship with Upperclassman Nabom remained the same. To be exact, Upperclassman Nabom is the one who has been acting as if nothing had happened.
I’m fine on the outside. While in front of others, Upperclassman Nabom and I would exchange trivial jokes and, when we all went somewhere during the summer break, I talked with her nonchalantly.
In order to not gain suspicion, I would greet her whenever we met on the street or at school, and I would always meet her in the club room. If anything, I might actually be spending more time with her now than before.
However, it’s because of this, that she’s the hardest person to deal with.
······Despite that, the reason why I come to the club room, I’m not sure. Well, I don’t have anywhere else to go. If I go home, then Saeyeon and Jaim would be waiting for me, and if I come here, then Upperclassman Nabom would be here.
“So, what’s the problem? As your life senior, I’ll give you some counseling.”
While I was in the middle of my thoughts, I ended up turning my head in response to Upperclassman Nabom’s words. Before I knew it, she had removed her gaze from her book and was staring right at me.
There are majorly two appearances that Upperclassman Nabom shows to me. One is the agent dispatched from the future and the other is the school senior who’s overflowing with teenage girliness, the latter being something she would only display occasionally. I think she was currently behaving like the latter.
“If you tell me, then I’ll help you in whatever way I can.”
She gave me a side-glance.
So, of course, I······.
“Come to think of it, you got here late today.”
I changed the topic.
I didn’t particularly blame Upperclassman Nabom. This was something I chose to hear, after all. She tried to dissuade me until the very end, but I insisted.
That’s why I can’t forgive Upperclassman Nabom.
The thing that Upperclassman Nabom wants, is the future where Saeyeon dies.
The future where Jaim goes back to the future without knowing this.
This may not be Upperclassman Nabom’s fault. If the future can’t change, then not mentioning it and working for the sake of that future may not be a bad thing. If anything, it might be considered kind.
But, despite that, I can’t forgive her.
Similar to how I can’t forgive myself for having listened to the answer despite being warned.
“······I see.”
Upperclassman Nabom didn’t say anything else and returned her line of sight back to her book. I could hear the sound of a page being flipped.
“I was called by a teacher to talk about my career path.”
“To talk about your career path? Is there an issue?”
“Well, I’m in my 3rd year of high school. It’s a problem in its own way.”
“It is the 2nd semester now, the final exams are approaching as well. Start studying, Ha Nabom. Stop reading novels and study, Ha Nabom.”
“Honestly speaking, I have to decide whether I’m going to even take the final exam or not. That’s why I was called out. I was dispatched here on a mission, so I have to go back later, anyway. What good would come from taking the exam?”
Another page was flipped. Our gazes didn’t meet.
“It would also be troubling if people start paying attention to me for getting full marks on the final exam.”
“You’re confident that you could receive full marks?”
“Despite my appearance, I’m a trained agent. Also, most importantly, something like test sheets are already relics of the past in the future I’m from.”
“That’s quite great. You should give them to me instead.”
“I see. If you get on the floor and roll 3 times while barking like a dog, then I’ll consider it.”
“Shouldn’t you cherish your underclassmen a bit more as a senior?”
What we’re doing may perhaps be similar to ‘role-playing’.
We acted like we used to as if that one conversation never happened. A practical senior and a curt junior, an agent from the future being casual with her investigation target.
Without meeting each other’s gaze, we pretended as if everything was all right.
Even though no one is watching, even though we both know everything.
Despite that, we continued acting.
While not knowing what meaning this behavior had.
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The sun had yet to set as if declaring that summer wasn’t over yet. It was quite late into the evening, and, as expected, all of the students had already gone home.
“Ah, Jjaro!”
The rays of the setting sun created long shadows. Saeyeon was waiting by the school gate. With a welcoming smile on her face, she waved at me.
“Why did you wait for me? I told you to go home first. What about Jaim?”
“Jaim went to play with her friends. Her friends’ schools should also be over by now.”
Saeyeon simply smiled in response to my question.
It wasn’t the same dark expression which she used to show me in the past whenever she waited for me, whenever she waited for a family that would never come, but a bright smile like the setting sun.
While I trudged forward with my hands in my pockets, Saeyeon approached me and naturally linked her arm with mine. Honestly, this was why I put my hands in my pockets.
“You’ve been going home by yourself a lot lately, haven’t you, Jjaro? That’s why I waited here, so that we could go home together today.”
Saeyeon leaned her cheek against my shoulder which was at a perfect height for her. I could feel a warm sensation through my thin, summer uniform. A sensation that was warmer than the summer weather.
After our first date at the start of the summer, Saeyeon started to close the distance between us as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Since I was on the receiving end, my cheeks would end up flushing.
It’s been 3 months since then. It might be a bit of an understatement if I were to say that Saeyeon and I were simply childhood friends.
We would constantly spend time together under the pretext of a date, we would hang out throughout the summer break, and, well, we actually live together, so we’re pretty much always together.
Saeyeon would gradually get closer and closer to me every time we spent time together, and not like how a child would get close to someone, but like how a normal girl would. Like a true couple. One step at a time, carefully, and yet, without any hesitation.
It seems that after that day, she gained the certainty that I didn’t hate her anymore and actually liked her instead.
······Well, she honestly wasn’t wrong.
I’m not that dense.
My face flushes whenever I see Saeyeon, my heart gets warm whenever our bodies touch like this, and my heart beats heavily. I’m not stupid enough to not know what these reactions mean.
If someone were to ask, then I would say that I’m a materialist, but I believe that the mind is an intriguing thing. Even though at the beginning of the year, I definitely hated it when she approached me.
I was jealous of Saeyeon for having a family that I couldn’t have, and, because of this, I made her stay as a child who didn’t know how to approach people since I hated it when she got close to me.
If I’m going to be despised one day, then I’ll hate them first.
However, if anything, I now want her to approach me, and I think about how it would be like if I approached her first. Moreover, I felt happy whenever I allowed her to approach me and whenever she accepted me when I approached her.
Therefore, I regret the way I behaved until now.
Instead of spending a long time walking towards different directions, despite being so close to each other, we could have been walking together towards the same goal. I could have experienced this happiness even more throughout that wasted, extensive period of time.
Without having to be afraid of losing this one day.
That’s why I want to cry. It wasn’t only my face that was getting red, but the edges of my eyes were as well.
“······Jjaro.”
Saeyeon’s hand slowly dug into my pocket. Her fingers gradually squirmed their way into my pocket as they searched for my hand. My pocket was filled with Saeyeon’s hand. Without being satisfied with just that, she interlocked her fingers with mine. My pocket is going to burst, you know?
“I said this before, but I won’t say anything until you tell me first, Jjaro.”
While leaning her cheek against my shoulder and wriggling her interlocked fingers in order to be certain that my hand was indeed in hers, Saeyeon continued.
“Still, Jaim said that you’ve been acting strangely lately.”
“······Is that so?”
I feigned ignorance and responded with a smile.
“Strange, though? That’s a bit harsh. How have I been acting strangely?”
“Yeah. That’s what I said to Jaim as well.”
The sound of our footsteps resonated throughout the unpopulated road.
“I told her that you can handle it yourself since you told us to not worry, so I’m going to trust you, Jjaro.”
Saeyeon looked straight into my eyes and beamed.
“So, if you’re having a difficult time, then you can tell me anything at any time. You told me that you need me, so I’ll do my best in order to support you and meet your expectations.”
Her hair fluttered in the wind. Even though she undoubtedly uses the same shampoo as me, I felt like I could get intoxicated by this fragrance. Large eyes which were filled with my reflection alone. Eyebrows that drew a gentle curve. A prettily pointed nose. Smiling cheeks that looked soft enough to pull on. Moist lips that appeared as if they would melt if I were to touch them.
“You can use me however you want, Jjaro.”
Because everything, everything was different from before.
Because she wasn’t like the annoying childhood friend that she used to act like before.
“······Jjaro?”
Instead of bursting out into tears, instead of pulling her into a crushing embrace, instead of blocking her lips with my boiling emotions like the time when I thoughtlessly pressed my lips against hers,
“I told you it’s fine. There’s no problem.”
I smiled.
I could only smile.
Because I only knew one way to stop crying, and that was the smiling method that Saeyeon taught me.
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“······Dad.”
It was the middle of the night. I was going to do the usual and eat dinner while smiling, close the door to my room again, and spend time by myself, but today was a bit different.
Knock knock, there was a gentle knock on the door. She would normally just throw the door open, but it seems she finally learned how to knock.
I let out a deep breath and composed myself before answering.
“It’s open.”
The door slowly opened while letting out an audible creaking sound. A face appeared in the small gap that opened in the doorway.
Large eyes that resembled Saeyeon’s. The usual clothespin in her hair. Eyebrows that resembled mine, and her soft cheeks and sharp jawline which were a mixture between mine and Saeyeon’s.
Her face which would normally always have an arrogant, innocent smile on it looked worried as she glanced at me cautiously.
“······Can I come in?”
My daughter, the girl who claimed to be from the future, Saeyeon’s daughter and mine, Jin Jaim.
I changed my deep breath into a sigh once I saw her hesitation and turned back towards my desk before answering.
“You usually enter whenever you want. Come in.”
In the corner of my vision, I saw Jaim carefully enter the room and close the door behind her. I spoke while being careful as to not give her a sideward glance.
“So, what’s up?”
“Uhm······.”
Her hesitating voice calmed down for a moment. I moved my hands. I wasn’t going to rush her. However, I wasn’t going to show her that I intended to listen.
In response to my behavior, Jaim spoke as if she had resolved herself.
“I haven’t helped you with your work lately, so I figured I could help out.”
I expected this. Nanda, Upperclassman Nabom, and Saeyeon all talked with Jaim, so they most likely all told her to talk to me personally.
“······By all means.”
So I spoke the opposite of what was on my mind. Because I have to smile.
I’m not sure how she took my words, but Jaim’s expression lightened up slightly. I accidentally wounded up giving her a side glance.
“······Ehehe.”
Even though just earlier she was worried about whether she could come to my side or not, she was displaying her usual smile right now. I was able to remember something once I saw Jaim drag a chair next to me and sit down.
Yeah. That’s how Jaim smiled.
I wasn’t the only one who had changed ever since that day. Similar to how Saeyeon had become slightly more mature and how Jihye sometimes acts casually, Jaim had changed as well.
Different from how she used to argue with me, tease me, and sometimes make me think that she hates me, she started to stick close to me like this and act cute and childish.
······Although I wasn’t able to see her act like this that much as of late.
Jaim brought her chair so close that our arms nearly touched before asking.
“So, what are you making? Another improvement for the robot maid?”
The work that I did with Jaim was creating a robot maid. To be exact, should I say a humanoid robot? We gave Multi, which started with being a robot vacuum cleaner, a pair of legs and, well, it doesn’t seem like a human, but it at least looks like a ‘robot’.
“Huh······?”
However, that’s not what I’ve been researching lately.
“······What’s this?”
Jaim, who was looking at the stuff on top of my desk in order to see what I’ve been doing, was surprised by the various formulas and major textbooks that were littered across my desk and the sight of the university level textbooks that were piled up and strewn about.
I didn’t have a design or a blueprint yet. My research hasn’t reached that far yet. I’m just barely at the point of establishing a theory in my own way.
Everyone claims that it’s impossible, but I have no other choice.
“Wait a second.”
Jaim picked up a single sheet of paper among the many sheets that were scattered everywhere and read it. Carefully. She probably doesn’t understand the details of what was written on it, though.
“······Why are you researching something like this?”
But at the very least, she should be able to figure out what I’ve been researching.
“Just as a hobby? It felt like it would be fun.”
I tried to change the topic, however, Jaim grabbed the edge of my clothes and held the sheet of paper out towards me while staring straight at me.
“But why are you researching time machines, Dad?”
I took the piece of paper from Jaim’s hand and turned away.
“I told you. I’m just doing it as a hobby.”
“What about robot maids? What about that research?”
“I’m going to invent them later on anyway, right? I felt like I could have a moment of leisure. You knew before, didn’t you? That I was also interested in this field when you first came here.”
But it seems Jaim didn’t buy my excuse.
“······I was going to say this more carefully, but you probably heard from Nanda Oppa and Big Sis Nabom already, so I’ll just say it without any warming up. Dad, you’ve been acting weird lately.”
“How have I been acting weird?”
“You’ve been gradually distancing yourself from me and Mom, you avoid us if we’re together, and you keep grumbling about something by yourself. You promised last time, didn’t you? That you wouldn’t focus on only your own work, that we should work together since we’re a family, and that you’ll become a person who doesn’t harm the people he cherishes.”
Yeah. I did say that.
Back when I got into a fight with Jaim, that’s what I said to reconcile with her.
That’s why I understood why Jaim was upset.
“But what are you doing now? Stop bottling everything up by yourself and tell us if you’re struggling. Mom, Jihye, and I are your family now, Dad! Stop pretending to be okay and stop telling us that you’re okay when you aren’t!”
But.
“I also······!”
The emotions building up inside me nearly made me turn around and shout, but I barely managed to hold it back.
“······ ‘I also’, what?”
Without missing the words that I accidentally let slip out, Jaim folded her arms and looked at me with a gaze that appeared as if she were telling me to talk if I have something to say. Her gaze looked as if her side was the one that was tolerating me. Seriously, that arrogance.
I’m not staying silent because I enjoy this.
I’m not smiling because I enjoy this.
Because I don’t want to hurt the people precious to me, because I want to protect the people precious to me, because it’d be better off if I’m the only one who suffers. Even though I’m simply trying to shoulder it by myself since it’s something I heard after acting overconfident. Even though I’m simply trying to protect my family as the head of the household.
It’s frustrating. I want to cry. I want to get mad and shout. I want to lay everything bare. Yeah. That might happen.
If I honestly tell Saeyeon and Jaim everything, then we might be able to find a solution. We might be able to overcome this together.
But I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to tell Saeyeon that ‘You’re going to die in 2 years.’. I don’t want to tell Jaim that ‘The reason Saeyeon and my future self broke up is because she died.’. I don’t want to see the expression Jaim would make the instant I tell her this.
I’ve already seen similar expressions when I said the things I wanted to say.
Saeyeon’s expression when I told her that I never liked her.
Jaim’s expression when I said that if Saeyeon were like Jihye, then Jaim might have not had to come here.
I didn’t want to see those expressions again.
That’s why.
“Is there something weird about me wanting to make a time machine?”
I continued to lie.
“Everyone keeps saying that time machines are impossible to make, but you traveled back in time, Upperclassman Nabom did as well, and so did Jihye, so it’s possible, isn’t it? This also means someone invented the time machine in the future, so wouldn’t it be good if I do the research first and find the method?”
“······So you’re going to be like that.”
Jaim grit her teeth in response to my words which I had said while imitating my usual self. She kicked her chair back and stood up. I remember that face. That’s the face she makes when she’s either up to her head with anger or when she’s sulking.
“Whatever! Do whatever you want, Dad! Be it making a time machine or whatever!”
But it was different from then. The opposition getting upset in response to thoughtless words was different from the opposition getting upset by words that were said in order to intentionally upset them. Even if Jaim gets mad at me right now, I have no other choice but to say this.
“Master, Miss, rest for a moment and······.”
“Get out of the way!”
Jaim pushed Jihye, who, like usual, had bad timing and entered the room with a smile on her face while holding a cup of coffee and a glass of juice, aside and left the room. Large strides. She’ll probably be like that for the next few days.
“Master? Why is the Miss······.”
“Leave her alone for now. She’s just sulking.”
“But it seemed like she was very upset······.”
“Well, it probably isn’t to the same degree as when she shouted that she would throw you out.”
Jihye handed the cup of coffee to me while gazing at the door which Jaim had just run out of. It may be obvious, but it was pitch black. Black itself. A black where you couldn’t see anything else.
While I was taking a sip of that, Jihye asked me a question with a worried look still on her face.
“Uhm, Master. The Miss most likely said this as well, but have you been struggling with something recently?”
“······Everyone has been asking me that question.”
It felt really silly this time, so I laughed. Jihye didn’t know how to react, so she didn’t leave or take a seat.
“······This might seem like an abrupt question, but.”
Therefore, I resolved myself to ask something since we were on that topic.
The question that I kept failing to ask until now because I was scared.
“You, when you first came to the past, you didn’t understand what I meant when I said that Saeyeon and I broke up in the future, right?”
⎯ Uhm, Mrs. Ja Saeyeon, I sincerely apologize, but······.
⎯ In the future, you······.
⎯ The breaking up······ part?
At that time, I just thought that Jihye didn’t understand me because she was simple-minded. But, perhaps······.
“Jihye, did you know that Saeyeon will d······. No, do you know what will happen in the future?”
“⎯⎯⎯·····.”
Jihye’s eyes became wide the instant she heard my question. Her gaping mouth couldn’t properly let out a sound. As if she was shocked that I knew as well.
“Master, where did you······?”
“Answer me.”
Once I cut her off, Jihye went silent.
Shortly after, after thinking for a moment, Jihye nodded her head weakly.
“······As I thought.”
I wasn’t shocked because I had expected this answer. But, why······?
However, before I could voice my question, it disappeared.
Why didn’t you tell me? What would I even do if she told me?
We both averted our gazes. A strained silence fell upon us once more. This wasn’t what I intended. With this, Jihye most likely knows why I’ve been acting weird lately. I would appreciate it if she didn’t tell anyone. Jihye enjoys gossiping, after all.
“······Can I ask you the reason?”
I ended up saying the complete opposite of what was on my mind. Moreover, I couldn’t take back the words I had spat out. As always.
Jihye didn’t answer. I didn’t want to see the expression on her face, so I didn’t turn my head. Shortly after, Jihye answered.
“If Master asks me that as my ‘Creator’, then I will answer.”
That was a roundabout refusal.
A roundabout refusal that was saying that if I were asking that as a question between two humans, as a master and a robot maid, as a father and a housekeeper, or even a question asked to a mistress, then she refuses to answer.
Meaning that if I destroy the relationship we’ve built until now and ask her that as a target of absolute obedience, then and only then would she answer.
I couldn’t ask because I knew this.
······To be exact, it’s because I’m scared.
I heard about Saeyeon’s death as well because of my greed. Upperclassman Nabom had warned me that I wouldn’t be able to avoid the future if I heard the answer.
There’s a chance that if I hear Jihye’s answer right now, then Saeyeon will truly die for that very reason.
I know. At the very least, I know now. I know that I’m not a genius or an impressive existence. That’s why I can’t take the risk.
I might be the one who kills Saeyeon.
“······You can go back to work now.”
“······Understood. Then if you would excuse me. Have a good night.”
Jihye responded to me by bowing courteously before leaving while only take the glass of juice with her. I was left by myself in my room.
I might have a lot of time left. We have 2 years, after all. I couldn’t forgive myself for thinking that, so I clenched my teeth.
I took a sip from the cup of pitch black coffee. It was bitter.
I tilted the cup of coffee and its content swayed.
I know very well that I can’t make something like a time machine. An incredible genius will probably invent it. A great genius that’s capable of completely disregarding modern physics.
I might not be able to do anything even if I make something like a time machine. Upperclassman Nabom was the one who rode that time machine here and said that nothing could be done even if you went to the past on a time machine.
Despite that, I have no other choice but to struggle.
Since I don’t know a way to change the future.
Just what exactly do I have to do in order to change the future?
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Dad has been acting strange lately.
No, well, there’s never a day Dad isn’t strange, but should I say that it’s been worse than usual lately?
Time has passed and it was now the beginning of September. The eventful summer break was over and the second semester had started. Even though summer break had ended, the weather was still hot enough to make you sweat, and the cicadas were still crying outside. Do they not get hot? There probably isn’t a lot left, but they’re still energetic.
It has now been half a year since I traveled back in time and 3 months since Mom and Dad went on their first date. Now that I think about it, time sure goes by fast.
After all that, a lot of things happened during the summer break.
Mm, if I had to choose the biggest change, then as I thought, Mom and Dad becoming a lot closer has to be the biggest thing.
After their first date at the start of summer, they would spend time together and go on dates every weekend as if they’ve truly become a couple. Honestly, it sometimes felt bizarre, but this was the truth.
Whenever they walked together, they would hold hands and link their arms. They would tease each other and share light physical affection as well. It got to the point where the big bros and sis in their class, who teased them at first, would get mad and tell them to tone their flirting down. Honestly, they make even my toes curl.
Dad no longer sees Mom as a child.
Mom no longer says ‘I like you’ over and over again like a simple child and now approaches Dad while behaving like a girl her age.
They both got really close to me as well. That’s what I believe.
Although Mom is fundamentally closer to me, after that fight, Dad started caring about me a lot more. Well, it wasn’t as much of a drastic change as his relationship with Mom, but we still mess around with each other and banter occasionally.
Still, how should I say it?
Basically, he was a dad who was more like a big bro than a dad, but should I say he has gradually become more like a dad? It feels weird now that I say it.
He plays with me, jokes around with me, and worries about me.
I believe that Dad has changed. As he promised me before, I believe that he’s trying his best to change.
But, lately······.
“······He’s acting strangely.”
“So, from your point of view, Jaim, how is your dad acting strangely?”
In response to my comment, Mom simply tilted her head and asked that.
Ja Saeyeon. My mom.
She had large eyes and would always have an innocent smile on her face. Her brown hair and the flower pin in her hair were some of my kind and gentle mom’s characteristics.
She’s a lot better than before, but when she shows her innocent side like this sometimes, I get worried for her as her daughter. Even though I thought Mom would notice this issue more than I did. I pondered for a moment before I eventually answered her.
“Like I said, how do I explain it······. I feel like Dad has been distancing himself from us lately.”
“Mmm······. Now that I think about it, it does feel like that······.”
“You didn’t come home with Dad today either.”
I spoke while glancing at Dad’s empty room.
It was currently after school. If it were like before, then we would have all come home together, but lately, Dad has been disappearing by himself to go somewhere else.
It’s only been a few days since we used to come home together. Even if he didn’t come home with us on some days, he would return quickly, but now he doesn’t come back until much later.
As if he doesn’t want to be home.
“Also, even if he comes home, he shuts himself in his room now.”
He claimed that he was researching something, but I honestly have no idea what he’s been doing in there.
A short while back, he would either ask me for help or ask to research together, or at the very least, he would play along if I entered his room in order to mess around.
As of late, he’s been flat out locking his door and showing no signs of coming out.
“It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to forget Dad’s face.”
Well, this is a bit of an exaggeration. I still follow him to school and we eat together, after all.
But Dad would always look as if his thoughts are elsewhere. Whenever our eyes occasionally meet, he would quickly avert his gaze for some reason. Not only to me, though, but to Mom as well.
“Are you not worried, Mom?”
Mom smiled slightly as if she were slightly sad in response to my complaints.
“Well, Jjaro probably also has times where he doesn’t feel good.”
Mom returned to her normal giggling expression before she continued.
“It seems Jjaro has been wanting to focus on his work more lately. Mom told me that if your husband wants some time to himself, then you should provide him that. If you do that, then you’ll be able to enjoy a longer married life.”
“You’re really understanding when it comes to weird things, Mom······.”
I know that she’s big-hearted, but as her daughter, I sometimes wish Mom would be selfish sometimes. Well, it’s because she’s like this that she’s my mom.
“What are you two talking about? Madam, Miss.”
A voice came from the side while I was letting out a sigh, so I turned my head.
“Ah, Miss Jihye. Wow······. Are you giving us this?”
“I felt like if you’re going to be talking about something, then it would be better to also have some refreshments. But we’re going to be having dinner soon, so you shouldn’t have too much, okay?”
Jihye smiled slightly in response to Mom’s reaction and courteously placed two cups of juice in front of me and Mom.
“Tea would have most likely suited this more, but this is better for the hot weather, isn’t it? Ah, I’m the one who baked the cookies.”
Jin Jihye. A robot maid who had followed me here from the future.
Her official name is XMR-XXI ‘Eureka’. She looks like a human, but she’s a real robot that became commoditized in the future. Though there are times where she sometimes thinks she’s human.
Although she took care of me like a mom would ever since I was little, I had distanced myself from her for various reasons, but I’ve been trying to open myself up to her more as of late.
“Thanks.”
“My pleasure.”
I gave her the same response I’ve been giving her lately, but it seems just that much was enough to make her happy as Jihye smiled. She then adjusted her black and white traditional maid outfit before taking a seat. I guess she wanted to squeeze in as well. She enjoys gossiping, after all. Jihye looked at me and Mom and asked.
“So what were you two talking about?”
“Jaim said that Jjaro has been acting weird lately.”
Jihye blinked her eyes in surprise and turned to ask me.
“Is that so? What about his behavior do you think is weird?”
It seems I’m the only one who had a sense of crisis.
“I mean, Dad has been focusing only on his work lately, hasn’t he?”
“Certainly, Master hasn’t been coming out of his room much lately.”
Nevertheless, it seems Jihye was more knowledgeable than Mom since she immediately understood what I meant. Jihye glanced towards Dad’s room worryingly before nodding her head and continuing.
“But, well, Master is only human as well, so wouldn’t he also have times where he isn’t feeling well? Or he wants to focus on his research.”
“······I thought you understood, but you ended up saying the same thing Mom did.”
It seems I’m the only one in this house who thought this was an issue.
Jihye smiled bitterly as I let out a small sigh and spoke.
“But, Miss, Master was originally······.”
The front door opened at that moment. Everyone turned their heads.
“I’m home.”
“Ah, Jjaro!”
Speak of the Devil, it was Dad.
He had slightly curly, disheveled hair and a pair of rimless glasses. Seemingly, he believes that he’s handsome, but his face honestly looks plain to me. Well, his face isn’t that bad, but I still feel like Mom is wasted on him. Fortunately, I resemble Mom.
My dad. Jin Jaro. Self-proclaimed greatest scientist of this era, a ‘Mad Scientist’. I honestly feel like that last part is a bit excessive, and I do actually tease him about it, but it’s even more troubling since I can’t sincerely deny his claim.
Jihye stood up and received Dad’s backpack as he took his shoes off. I recall her once saying that it was unfortunate that she couldn’t receive his coat as well since he was still wearing his summer uniform. She was a natural maid.
“You didn’t come home with the Missus or the Miss, but you got home just in time for some snacks. Would you like to join us? I baked the cookies.”
It was almost as if the conversation we just had never happened as Jihye behaved like a courteous maid.
Dad loosened his necktie and smiled.
“No, it’s fine. We’re going to have dinner soon anyway.”
“But the cookies are good······.
Dad chuckled once he heard Mom mutter that disappointingly while munching on her cookie and spoke.
“Jihye made them, so of course they would be. Saeyeon, you shouldn’t eat too much either. We have to eat dinner soon. You’re going to get fat.”
“Uuh, Jihye said that as well.”
“While you’re at it, why not learn how to bake cookies from Jihye next time? You like snacks, after all, so they’ll probably taste even better if you bake them yourself.”
After saying that, Dad started to head towards his room. I unintentionally stopped him.
“Dad, don’t be like that and enjoy these snacks with us. You can gossip with us as well.”
Dad smiled and turned towards me. Our eyes met for a moment, but shortly after, he shook his head.
“······Next time. It also doesn’t feel right joining a bunch of girls when they’re gossiping.”
He averted his gaze and then, while still smiling, Dad spoke towards Jihye.
“Now then, I’ll be in my room, so call me when dinner is ready.”
“Ah, yes. Understood.”
Dad received the bag that Jihye was holding back from her and entered his room. The door closed with an audible ‘click’.
There was a short, awkward silence afterward. Mom spoke up.
“······Nothing seemed odd, though?”
“Yeah. He’s behaving like he usually does.”
“No, he was acting completely strange just now.”
I instinctually gave a rebuttal to Mom and Jihye’s remarks. However, the two looked at each other with their similar appearances and spoke as they tilted their heads.
“Really? I honestly can’t tell······. He was smiling, too.”
“He did seem a little tired, but that’s something that could happen when you don’t feel well.”
“He ignored us completely just now! He went straight to his room as soon as he got home.”
No matter how you look at it, he was trying to avoid us just now. He refused our invitations so blatantly.
“A while back, he would normally ask us what we were eating and sit down to chat in situations like this. He would also do something similar when we were watching dramas.”
“Ah, now that I think about it, Jjaro hasn’t been watching any dramas lately.”
“No, that’s not what I’m talking about······.”
The bright look that appeared on Mom’s face as she believed she finally realized what was weird about Dad was very worrying. In contrast to Mom’s satisfied expression, Jihye looked concerned.
“I see. If from the Miss and the Madam’s perspectives, Master has been behaving strangely as of late, then this really is a big problem.”
Jihye clenched her fists and stood up.
“I’m a robot maid! An existence that manages the household! If I didn’t notice that there’s a problem in the atmosphere that’s looming over the household, then I’ll be disqualified as a maid! This is a large problem! It endangers my very being!”
“Ooh, finally······.”
Although the tone of her voice sounded as if she still didn’t know what the problem was.
“Madam, if there’s something else about Master’s recent behavior that seems odd, then what do you think it is?”
“I wonder······. Weird things that Jjaro has done as of late······.”
Mom folded her arms seriously and started letting out an audible ‘Hmm’ sound. That’s the sound of Mom’s brain being worked at maximum power. Jihye started to contemplate as well as if she intended to brainstorm alongside Mom. It’s because she does this that she seems like an actual person. It’s also because of this that she resembles Mom.
It seems everyone was simply pondering as I could only hear the sound of the clock ticking. Tick-tock.
Well······. I honestly have some complicated feelings about this, but the sheer fact that my two moms listened to what I had to say and were thinking together for my sake made me happy. I could feel that they cared about me sincerely.
“Ah, I know!”
A glint of light appeared in Jihye’s eyes.
“As I thought, isn’t he upset because you ate Master’s ice cream that one time, Madam? Master seemed to have really liked that ice cream.”
“······Oh yeah.”
I’m the idiot for having expected something from this person. I felt somewhat pathetic, so I grasped my head, but Mom, who had received an unexpected blow, spoke in a panic.
“T-That day was hot, so it couldn’t be helped! Jjaro also said that he wouldn’t let me off easily if I turned the air conditioner on! Ah, that’s right! It’s because of the electricity bill! The electricity bill! Jjaro got upset last time, didn’t he?! He said the electricity bill was high because Miss Jihye fired lasers everywhere in an attempt to get rid of mosquitoes!”
“I’m a robot maid! There’s no way that I could possibly sit around and allow even a single drop of blood to be shed in the household in which I’m serving in! Harmful insects and vermin must be exterminated!”
“······It’s fine, you two can stop now.”
As I expected, no one understood.
I could only let out a deep sigh as I watched Mom and Jihye go at each other with ‘who made Dad upset the most’. Mom and Jihye must have noticed me let out a sigh, as they stopped bickering and glanced at me for a moment before looking at each other.
With a gentle expression, Jihye spoke to me as if she were trying to comfort me.
“But Miss, wasn’t Master originally this sort of person?”
“······.”
And once my expression became dark due to those words, Jihye panicked.
“······Miss?”
Yeah.
That’s the problem.
In the future, Dad becomes a truly competent person who invents robot maids and establishes a flourishing business. Jihye is also one of the robot maids that Dad had made in the future.
······Well, I heard that he got fired from his company in the end.
Honestly, I only found out about that last part after I came to the past.
Of course, that’s probably because the number of times I’ve seen Dad’s face in the future can be counted on my hands. The number of times I’ve talked to him is much fewer than that.
Future Dad was a person who only cared about his work. He never came home and always lived in his research lab or his company and showed no interest in me whatsoever.
And most importantly, he chased Mom out.
When I was still young, well, I’m still an elementary school student right now, so I’m technically young right now as well, but when I was at an age of which I only have vague memories of now, Mom left. The reason was a domestic dispute she had with Dad. At that time, Dad had said this to mom: ‘From the very beginning, I’ve never seen you as a girl.’.
After that incident, I don’t remember seeing Mom ever again.
That’s why I thought to myself: I should go back in time and make Dad like Mom. Let’s make him see her as a girl.
While spending time with the younger versions of Mom and Dad, I did my best to get them together. I thought my efforts were gradually bearing fruit. I believed that things were slowly getting better.
However.
“······It almost feels as if we’ve gone back to the very beginning.”
Once I uttered those words, both Mom and Jihye looked troubled.
I haven’t confessed everything yet. Mom still doesn’t know, after all. She doesn’t know that Dad was cold to me in the future and that he broke up with her.
I didn’t even want Mom to know this.
Mom. My lovely mom. I’m not sure if I should say this about my kind and friendly mom, but my mom who was sometimes innocent to an idiotic degree. My mom who believes that she’ll get married to Dad in the future, give birth to me, and that we simply live happily.
My mom who I barely even remember the face of because she left in the future.
I want to protect this mom of mine. I want to create that future.
That’s why I don’t want Dad to become cold and start distancing himself from me and Mom.
So Dad’s smiling face has been bothering me lately.
That smile, how should I say it······?
That’s right. His smile looks as if he’s about to burst out in tears.
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“Well, you have to be a bit more understanding, Jaim. Jjaro’s probably not behaving like that out of malice.”
And, in response to my complaint, Nanda Oppa smiled bitterly and simply said that to me. I pouted slightly.
The next day, at Mom and Dad’s high school, I used one of the breaks to meet Nanda Oppa at the school library. We probably shouldn’t talk in the library, but this much should be fine.
“Haha, you look cute when you pout like that as well.”
I pouted in order to express that I was upset, but Nanda Oppa just laughed as if he found my behavior to be cute and patted my head. I honestly didn’t dislike this, so my expression inadvertently relaxed.
Nanda Oppa. Shin Nanda. Not only is he Dad’s friend, but he becomes a world-class super trot star in the future. It’s quite impressive if you think about it. Both Dad and Nanda Oppa become quite the incredible people.
It may be obvious, but I’m also a fan. His number 1 fan, at that. I was acknowledged as his number 1 fan last time, so I can go around declaring this boldly.
He had clear, shining eyes and a sharp nose. His hair was also combed back elegantly and his skin was clean. He was the polar opposite of Dad who just looked plain. The clothes and accessories he would occasionally show off displayed his forward-thinking fashion sense that was going to become trending in the future. Of course, his singing ability was first class as well. He had a good personality and superb manners as well. The matured, future Nanda Oppa was also amazing, but for him to be this amazing even though he’s still a student······. Aah, Nanda Oppa······.
“Uhm, Jaim? It’s hard for me to move if you stick that close to me······.”
“Ah, I’m sorry, Nanda Oppa. Ehehe······.”
It seems I let my mind leak out too much. I released his arm and moved a bit to the side. About 5cm?
Once I let go of his arm, Nanda Oppa went back to working on his score and spoke.
“There’s definitely a reason for Jjaro’s recent behavior. He has a bit of a complicated side to him, after all.”
“Well······. He did go back and forth a bit during the summer break······.”
He did get a lot better than before, but even during the summer break, Dad would sometimes distance himself from me and Mom. He would smile and be friendly, but he would draw a line somewhere.
“There’s probably a lot on his mind since he obtained a family, something which he had always hated until now.”
I understood what Nanda Oppa meant as he said that while smiling bitterly.
Dad lived by himself ever since he was a kid. His parents, who prioritized their work more than him, ended up neglecting him and, in the end, they went as far as to break all contact with him and disappear overseas. After that, Dad hated the very idea of ‘family’.
Thus, he hated Mom because she had a happy family, and he hated me, his future daughter. He had a twisted personality as well.
“Saeyeon and Jihye probably feigned ignorance because they’re aware of this. So that you wouldn’t worry, Jaim.”
Nanda Oppa glanced at me for a moment before turning back to his score.
“So, I understand your feelings, Jaim, but leave Jjaro alone for now. He probably has a lot on his mind right now.”
“If you say it like that, then it sounds like I’m complaining to Dad without knowing anything.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Nanda Opp let out a small sigh in response to my grumbling before continuing.
“I’m just telling you to be a bit considerate.”
“I know, but that’s why I’m annoyed.”
I didn’t hide my frustration and stuck my lips out.
“Mom and I are Dad’s family now.”
“······.”
Nanda Oppa seemed as if he wanted to say something, but he closed his mouth.
“I mean, if there’s a difficult issue that’s bothering him, then I feel like we could help him by sharing the load······. But Dad keeps telling us to not worry about it as if he can handle it all by himself. Just how great does he think he is?”
I believe that families are supposed to be there for you if you’re going through something hard and difficult. I feel like if he opened up to me, Mom, and Jihye, then we could laugh and work together.
“······Yeah, you’re right, little lady.”
Nanda Oppa nodded and let out a small sigh.
“All right. I’ll have a word with Jjaro if I see him.”
Does Dad know that he’s making the people around him worry about him this much?
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“Does that mean you’ve finally decided to go back to the future?”
“······How does it turn out like that?!”
Once I shouted that and struck the table after getting angered by her smiling face as she said that indifferently, Big Sis Nabom wiped away the juice that had spilled.
“I was simply saying that as a joke. How rude.”
“If someone is talking to you seriously, then listen for a bit!”
Despite my complaint, Big Sis Nabom disregarded it as if a dog were barking somewhere and went back to reading her book. How annoying. I want to pour juice all over that book.
Classes were currently ongoing. Since I honestly found it hard to be in the classroom during this time, I came to the infirmary, but I ended up meeting someone completely unexpected.
Ha Nabom. Dad’s upperclassman-cum-agent from the future who was dispatched here in order to watch over me. Now that I think about it, there are too many people from the future around me.
“But why are you here? You’re even skipping class.”
What a delinquent. Big Sis Nabom simply turned the page of her book.
“This is a good way to pass the time. The classes are honestly boring.”
······Of course, she’s working as an agent in the future, so high school classes must be boring for her.
While drinking some juice from the fridge which the school nurse would constantly keep stocked in order to let the students drink some juice whenever they wanted, I calmly stared at Big Sis Nabom.
Silver, curly hair that reached her shoulders. Half-opened eyes that made her look as if she were constantly tired. A vague smile on her face. She felt like an outsider who would distance herself from others, but some of the male students would occasionally ask me about Big Sis Nabom. What does she like, what kind of person is she, etc etc. If they’re that curious, then they should ask her themselves. Well, I did frequently receive snacks for the half-hearted answers I gave them.
I do think that she’s a pretty-looking person. She has a good sense of style as well.
With a strapping physique and long legs. Even though she would always make do with packed lunches or ramen, she didn’t have a lot of extra flab. I guess you could say that she wasn’t skinny or flat, but at a perfect degree of elegance.
The fingers that were turning the pages were also long and pretty. She doesn’t have any nail polish on, but her neatly-trimmed nails shined charmingly.
And······. Mm. Those things are certainly······ how should I put it? Should I say that they look as if they would be pleasant to touch? They don’t give off an absorbing feeling that Dad would sometimes mention, but they were definitely impactful.
Big Sis Nabom looked at me and smiled teasingly.
“What’s wrong? Are you jealous of my breasts?”
“I-I’m not jealous! You cow!”
What exactly has she been eating for them to grow so big? Do her shoulders not hurt?
“Well, I do understand the envy a kid who’s still developing would have towards the charm of a mature woman.”
“I told you I’m not jealous! I heard that nothing good comes from having large ones.”
“There’s no need for you to give yourself a mental victory. Being interested in bountiful chests is a trait of little children.”
“Who are you calling a little child?! What does that make Dad, then?!”
“Men are all little children. It’s all right. You’ll probably grow a bit once you get older. Yup. That’s right. Your types are also in demand. Some people even prefer them like that because they could be closer to your hearts.”
“······That pitying gaze is seriously annoying.”
I shouldn’t have looked at her. After seeing me grumble, Big Sis Nabom chuckled and returned her gaze to her book before speaking.
“Still, isn’t the situation right now better than the future you came from, kid?”
“······.”
I thought that she would continue to tease me for a while, but after trying to retort to her unexpected comment for a moment, my mouth ended up closing. Big Sis Nabom smiled.
“I understand what you mean by Underclassman Jin Jaro’s behavior being weird, but at the very least, I feel like this is better than when you lived with the future version of Underclassman Jin Jaro, where he wouldn’t respond to you at all and would completely forget about your existence.”
Her words strangely felt as if they were stabbing at me, so I complained.
“······How do you know about that?”
“I told you before, didn’t I? I did a complete investigation before I was dispatched here.”
“I seriously don’t like that all-knowing tone of yours.”
“Is that so? Nevertheless, it’s the truth, so it can’t be helped.”
I snarled, but Big Sis Nabom chuckled at my reaction.
I also got a bit closer to this girl as summer break went by. No, I don’t like her. In truth, she’s my enemy.
Well, at the very least, I grew tired of calling her ‘weird girl’, so I stopped.
Big Sis Nabom’s duty is to take me back to the future. She actually almost took me back once.
Making sure no problems occur while she’s watching is an additional task. That’s why whenever I talk to her like this, she asks me if I’ve decided to return to the future. She can’t take me back by force or something, it seems.
“In any case, from this big sister’s point of view, it feels like you’re being selfish. You’ll be able to escape from continuing to only be in your developing state if you learn how to be sufficiently satisfied with what you have.”
“You always have to include an insulting comment at the end.”
“I can’t help my twisted personality.”
It’s a bigger crime since she’s doing this knowingly.
I let out a deep sigh and spoke.
“Of course······. My situation may be better now, and it may just be me being selfish, but it scares me.”
Big Sis Nabom closed the book she was reading once I said that and turned her body towards me. She looked straight at me with somewhat gentle eyes.
I wonder why. It’s a secret to Dad and everyone else, but sometimes, there are times where I want to talk about things I’ve been holding deep inside me with this big sis. It might be because she’s also from the future that I subconsciously believe that she’ll understand me.
If I talk to her, then even Big Sis Nabom would listen to me seriously like this.
“What are you afraid of, kid?”
I hesitated, but I let out another sigh and answered.
“······I’m afraid that same future might happen in the end.”
Big Sis Nabom listened to me silently.
The future won’t change, that’s what I learned.
I traveled back in time in order to change the future. In order to reach a future where Mom and Dad don’t fight, Mom and Dad get married because they love each other, Dad properly sees Mom as a girl, Mom doesn’t leave, and the three of us live happily. Well, yeah. Fine. While including Jihye as our housekeeper.
Moreover, as a result of me traveling back in time, Mom and Dad already went through the relationship-ending fight which they were originally supposed to experience in the future. Because I was here, it’s a bit embarrassing to say that this was because of me, but they managed to not break up and resolve the issue. Dad started to open up to Mom as well, and if you consider how they go on dates, I think he properly sees her as a girl. As I said before, I sometimes worry that they might cross the line way too soon.
But that means future Dad should have changed, and yet he still hasn’t come looking for me. He hasn’t contacted me either.
If I think about it carefully, then if that problem occurs and I don’t return to the past, then the same problem would still happen.
However, if that’s the case, then why?
Is it perhaps because they’re going to grow further apart like this?
The strength in my body left me and made me drop my head, so I could only hear Big Sis Nabom’s voice.
“I wonder about that. I have a rough grasp of what you’re complaining about, but······.”
When I raised my head, Big Sis Nabom was reading her book again as she spoke.
“If you have a complaint, then wouldn’t it be better to personally tell that to your dad, Underclassman Jin Jaro, instead of me?”
“······How could I tell Dad about this?”
I stuck my lips out and Big Sis Nabom answered.
“You were able to talk to me, weren’t you?”
I unintentionally ended up freezing in place because of those words.
“Aren’t you contradicting yourself, kid? Even though you think your dad shouldn’t deal with his problem alone and should share it with you and Underclassman Ja Saeyeon, even though that’s what you believe a family is, in reality, you’re not trying to share your problem with your dad either. Despite talking to Underclassman Shin Nanda and me about it.”
“······.”
I was honestly at a lost for words. It felt as if a proper blow was dealt against me.
Big Sis Nabom reasoned with me while she continued to look at her book.
“Even now, you found being in the same classroom as your dad to be uncomfortable, so you came here to the infirmary, right?”
“······Well, that’s.”
“Isn’t that proof that you’re distancing yourself from your dad?”
I was about to furtively avert my gaze in order to avoid answering the question, but those words made me turn back. Before I knew it, Big Sis Nabom had removed her gaze from her book and was looking at me.
This person occasionally stabs at weird things like this.
Additionally,
“I believe that being able to talk honestly, is one of the merits of having a family.”
Like this, she would have this envious, sad, and vexed look on her face.
Big Sis Nabom reached her hand out and stroked my hair like she once would.
I sometimes wonder. How much does Big Sis Nabom know? With what knowledge did she come here to observe me and Dad?
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“So have a talk with Jaim.”
It was lunchtime. Nanda spoke to me with a worried look and tone.
“Honestly, I did tell Jaim what I did yesterday so that she wouldn’t worry, but you’ve definitely been acting strangely as of late.”
“How am I acting strange?”
Once I responded like that without looking up from my lunch, Nanda spoke in a serious voice.
“The fact that you’re acting like this right now.”
“What, are you saying that the way I’m eating my lunch is weird?”
Certainly, it would be normal to eat the meals provided by the school. It may seem strange to bring a packed lunch and eat it at a club room.
“But what do you want me to do? Jihye said that as a robot maid responsible for our household, she wouldn’t yield about this. You’ve also been stealing some of my lunch as well.”
Honestly, I feel like I might also be a bit abnormal. This sort of thoroughness.
She said this the last time she came to school, but it seems Jihye wasn’t pleased by the fact that I was eating these mass-produced meals. Something about one’s heart not being contained within the meals. Although that was a statement that would make the cafeteria ladies of the world stand up in anger and it was also something that I don’t feel like a robot should be saying, well, she said it’s her pride, so I guess I’ll respect that.
Still, it would be great if she refrained from furtively teasing me about ‘an affection-filled packed lunch made by a mistress’.
Once I gave him that mumbled answer, Nanda let out a deep sigh and spoke.
“I’m asking you why you’re eating here with me instead of with Saeyeon and Jaim.”
“······.”
Those words made my chopsticks-holding hand stop moving.
It’s obvious, but Jihye makes Saeyeon and Jaim packed lunches as well.
At first, some of the kids would either be interested or tease me about it, but now there wasn’t a single person who would look at me strangely or tease me if I ate a packed lunch in the classroom.
And, naturally, I started coming to the clubroom like this once the 2nd semester started.
······I guess it would be better to at least eat lunch with them from now on. I don’t want to be seen weirdly, after all.
“So, what’s the problem?”
After I went back to quietly eating my lunch, Nanda went back to displaying his normal pleasant smile and spoke.
“As I thought, is the idea of having a family still difficult for you?”
Shin Nanda. My one and only friend.
He has a good personality and he’s trustworthy as well. Honestly, I think that his friendship is more than I deserve, but it’s because of that.
“······Well, yeah.”
I nodded.
“······I see.”
Nanda smiled bitterly at my answer.
Nanda is keen and I’m the type of person whose inner thoughts are displayed all over his face. Nanda had told me this several times before as well.
It was because of this, that he most likely pretended as if he were convinced right now.
On a side note, Jaim consults Nanda about these sort of things, huh?
“Nevertheless, how about talking with Jaim?”
I nodded at Nanda as he grinned.
“All right. I’ll consider it.”
He most likely knows that I don’t actually intend to do it.
It’s good to have a friend who’s very understanding, but at the same time, it might actually not be a great thing.
I’m thankful for his concern. I’m also thankful for how he turned a blind eye like this. I’m thankful for how he said that it’ll help me if I talked about what was on my mind as well.
It’s because of these things that it’s a bit painful for me since I can’t say it right now.
But how can I tell anyone?
The fact that Saeyeon is going to die in the future.
Ο
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Ο
After our first date at the beginning of summer, I decided on one thing.
That I will never break up with Saeyeon.
Upperclassman Nabom would always tell me that time paradoxes don’t exist. That there’s no way to travel to the past and intervene with the present, therefore, there’s also no way to change the future.
I couldn’t accept that. I couldn’t understand. Even though I had already decided to not break up with Saeyeon, to never hurt her, to accept her, and to look towards the same place with her, I couldn’t understand why I was going to fight with her in the future and make Jaim come back to the past like this.
So in response to my question as to why I break up with her, Upperclassman Nabom warned me. That if I heard the answer, then I will truly break up with her for that very reason. That the future will genuinely become unchangeable.
I ignored the warning and Upperclassman Nabom answered.
Ο
“⎯⎯⎯2 years from now, Miss Ja Saeyeon will die.”
Ο
Saeyeon will die.
2 years from now.
Words that could make one think that the other person was telling a bad joke and make you upset.
However, instead of getting genuinely upset, I ended up being convinced.
To be exact, it was more like I understood.
I wanted to believe that it was a lie. I hoped they were baseless words.
But that expression, which looked as if she were about to start crying, as if she were doing her best to hold back her tears and smile, made it very clear that it was the truth.
That’s why I did my best to hide the fact that I had learned this.
I decided to open up to her. I resolved myself to not brush aside Saeyeon’s hand for the second time. That’s why I did my best to smile as much as possible throughout the summer break.
As usual, no, closer than usual.
If you think about it, there were still 2 years left. Thinking about these sort of things was unbearable, but it wasn’t a short time. I might be able to find a way. If so, then I wanted to spend time with Saeyeon and smile together for now.
Honestly, I think I did well. During the summer break, I went on several dates with Saeyeon, and I went out here and there with friends and family. I believe that compared to when I used to spend every day shut in my room, I made much brighter memories.
To the point that I wished that time would continue and repeat.
That’s why I want to cry.
That’s why I have to smile.
Well, I originally didn’t smile a lot anyway.
However, there’s a limit to everything.
The closer and closer it gets. The more and more I open up.
Because I know that the end was definitely approaching. All of these moments were going to change into instances that will never come back.
Even though I know. Even though I decided to endure despite this.
Little by little. Like a crack. Like how droplets of water would slip between your fingers and, eventually, all of the water in your hand would be gone.
That’s why it’s been difficult for me to face Saeyeon and Jaim recently.
Because whenever I see either Saeyeon or Jaim, I remember those words.
“······Now that I think about it.”
It’s like that whenever I see this person as well.
It was after school. As usual, I avoided Saeyeon and Jaim today as well by telling them I had something to do before heading to the club room, and, as I expected, Upperclassman Nabom was also there.
Sitting in her usual spot next to the window, Upperclassman Nabom gave me a passing comment while reading a book and crossing her legs comfortably.
“Miss Jaim said that you’ve been behaving weirdly lately, Underclassman Jin Jaro.”
“······She told you as well?”
I answered normally after clearing my throat.
Upperclassman Nabom spoke while keeping her eyes fixated on the pages of her book.
“Well, these and those things did happen, but we got a lot closer during the summer break. Did she not come to my house once saying that she had nowhere else to go?”
Now that I think about it, something like that did happen.
“You shouldn’t worry the people around you so much.”
She commented casually.
Even after what happened previously, my relationship with Upperclassman Nabom remained the same. To be exact, Upperclassman Nabom is the one who has been acting as if nothing had happened.
I’m fine on the outside. While in front of others, Upperclassman Nabom and I would exchange trivial jokes and, when we all went somewhere during the summer break, I talked with her nonchalantly.
In order to not gain suspicion, I would greet her whenever we met on the street or at school, and I would always meet her in the club room. If anything, I might actually be spending more time with her now than before.
However, it’s because of this, that she’s the hardest person to deal with.
······Despite that, the reason why I come to the club room, I’m not sure. Well, I don’t have anywhere else to go. If I go home, then Saeyeon and Jaim would be waiting for me, and if I come here, then Upperclassman Nabom would be here.
“So, what’s the problem? As your life senior, I’ll give you some counseling.”
While I was in the middle of my thoughts, I ended up turning my head in response to Upperclassman Nabom’s words. Before I knew it, she had removed her gaze from her book and was staring right at me.
There are majorly two appearances that Upperclassman Nabom shows to me. One is the agent dispatched from the future and the other is the school senior who’s overflowing with teenage girliness, the latter being something she would only display occasionally. I think she was currently behaving like the latter.
“If you tell me, then I’ll help you in whatever way I can.”
She gave me a side-glance.
So, of course, I······.
“Come to think of it, you got here late today.”
I changed the topic.
I didn’t particularly blame Upperclassman Nabom. This was something I chose to hear, after all. She tried to dissuade me until the very end, but I insisted.
That’s why I can’t forgive Upperclassman Nabom.
The thing that Upperclassman Nabom wants, is the future where Saeyeon dies.
The future where Jaim goes back to the future without knowing this.
This may not be Upperclassman Nabom’s fault. If the future can’t change, then not mentioning it and working for the sake of that future may not be a bad thing. If anything, it might be considered kind.
But, despite that, I can’t forgive her.
Similar to how I can’t forgive myself for having listened to the answer despite being warned.
“······I see.”
Upperclassman Nabom didn’t say anything else and returned her line of sight back to her book. I could hear the sound of a page being flipped.
“I was called by a teacher to talk about my career path.”
“To talk about your career path? Is there an issue?”
“Well, I’m in my 3rd year of high school. It’s a problem in its own way.”
“It is the 2nd semester now, the final exams are approaching as well. Start studying, Ha Nabom. Stop reading novels and study, Ha Nabom.”
“Honestly speaking, I have to decide whether I’m going to even take the final exam or not. That’s why I was called out. I was dispatched here on a mission, so I have to go back later, anyway. What good would come from taking the exam?”
Another page was flipped. Our gazes didn’t meet.
“It would also be troubling if people start paying attention to me for getting full marks on the final exam.”
“You’re confident that you could receive full marks?”
“Despite my appearance, I’m a trained agent. Also, most importantly, something like test sheets are already relics of the past in the future I’m from.”
“That’s quite great. You should give them to me instead.”
“I see. If you get on the floor and roll 3 times while barking like a dog, then I’ll consider it.”
“Shouldn’t you cherish your underclassmen a bit more as a senior?”
What we’re doing may perhaps be similar to ‘role-playing’.
We acted like we used to as if that one conversation never happened. A practical senior and a curt junior, an agent from the future being casual with her investigation target.
Without meeting each other’s gaze, we pretended as if everything was all right.
Even though no one is watching, even though we both know everything.
Despite that, we continued acting.
While not knowing what meaning this behavior had.
Ο
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Ο
The sun had yet to set as if declaring that summer wasn’t over yet. It was quite late into the evening, and, as expected, all of the students had already gone home.
“Ah, Jjaro!”
The rays of the setting sun created long shadows. Saeyeon was waiting by the school gate. With a welcoming smile on her face, she waved at me.
“Why did you wait for me? I told you to go home first. What about Jaim?”
“Jaim went to play with her friends. Her friends’ schools should also be over by now.”
Saeyeon simply smiled in response to my question.
It wasn’t the same dark expression which she used to show me in the past whenever she waited for me, whenever she waited for a family that would never come, but a bright smile like the setting sun.
While I trudged forward with my hands in my pockets, Saeyeon approached me and naturally linked her arm with mine. Honestly, this was why I put my hands in my pockets.
“You’ve been going home by yourself a lot lately, haven’t you, Jjaro? That’s why I waited here, so that we could go home together today.”
Saeyeon leaned her cheek against my shoulder which was at a perfect height for her. I could feel a warm sensation through my thin, summer uniform. A sensation that was warmer than the summer weather.
After our first date at the start of the summer, Saeyeon started to close the distance between us as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Since I was on the receiving end, my cheeks would end up flushing.
It’s been 3 months since then. It might be a bit of an understatement if I were to say that Saeyeon and I were simply childhood friends.
We would constantly spend time together under the pretext of a date, we would hang out throughout the summer break, and, well, we actually live together, so we’re pretty much always together.
Saeyeon would gradually get closer and closer to me every time we spent time together, and not like how a child would get close to someone, but like how a normal girl would. Like a true couple. One step at a time, carefully, and yet, without any hesitation.
It seems that after that day, she gained the certainty that I didn’t hate her anymore and actually liked her instead.
······Well, she honestly wasn’t wrong.
I’m not that dense.
My face flushes whenever I see Saeyeon, my heart gets warm whenever our bodies touch like this, and my heart beats heavily. I’m not stupid enough to not know what these reactions mean.
If someone were to ask, then I would say that I’m a materialist, but I believe that the mind is an intriguing thing. Even though at the beginning of the year, I definitely hated it when she approached me.
I was jealous of Saeyeon for having a family that I couldn’t have, and, because of this, I made her stay as a child who didn’t know how to approach people since I hated it when she got close to me.
If I’m going to be despised one day, then I’ll hate them first.
However, if anything, I now want her to approach me, and I think about how it would be like if I approached her first. Moreover, I felt happy whenever I allowed her to approach me and whenever she accepted me when I approached her.
Therefore, I regret the way I behaved until now.
Instead of spending a long time walking towards different directions, despite being so close to each other, we could have been walking together towards the same goal. I could have experienced this happiness even more throughout that wasted, extensive period of time.
Without having to be afraid of losing this one day.
That’s why I want to cry. It wasn’t only my face that was getting red, but the edges of my eyes were as well.
“······Jjaro.”
Saeyeon’s hand slowly dug into my pocket. Her fingers gradually squirmed their way into my pocket as they searched for my hand. My pocket was filled with Saeyeon’s hand. Without being satisfied with just that, she interlocked her fingers with mine. My pocket is going to burst, you know?
“I said this before, but I won’t say anything until you tell me first, Jjaro.”
While leaning her cheek against my shoulder and wriggling her interlocked fingers in order to be certain that my hand was indeed in hers, Saeyeon continued.
“Still, Jaim said that you’ve been acting strangely lately.”
“······Is that so?”
I feigned ignorance and responded with a smile.
“Strange, though? That’s a bit harsh. How have I been acting strangely?”
“Yeah. That’s what I said to Jaim as well.”
The sound of our footsteps resonated throughout the unpopulated road.
“I told her that you can handle it yourself since you told us to not worry, so I’m going to trust you, Jjaro.”
Saeyeon looked straight into my eyes and beamed.
“So, if you’re having a difficult time, then you can tell me anything at any time. You told me that you need me, so I’ll do my best in order to support you and meet your expectations.”
Her hair fluttered in the wind. Even though she undoubtedly uses the same shampoo as me, I felt like I could get intoxicated by this fragrance. Large eyes which were filled with my reflection alone. Eyebrows that drew a gentle curve. A prettily pointed nose. Smiling cheeks that looked soft enough to pull on. Moist lips that appeared as if they would melt if I were to touch them.
“You can use me however you want, Jjaro.”
Because everything, everything was different from before.
Because she wasn’t like the annoying childhood friend that she used to act like before.
“······Jjaro?”
Instead of bursting out into tears, instead of pulling her into a crushing embrace, instead of blocking her lips with my boiling emotions like the time when I thoughtlessly pressed my lips against hers,
“I told you it’s fine. There’s no problem.”
I smiled.
I could only smile.
Because I only knew one way to stop crying, and that was the smiling method that Saeyeon taught me.
Ο
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Ο
“······Dad.”
It was the middle of the night. I was going to do the usual and eat dinner while smiling, close the door to my room again, and spend time by myself, but today was a bit different.
Knock knock, there was a gentle knock on the door. She would normally just throw the door open, but it seems she finally learned how to knock.
I let out a deep breath and composed myself before answering.
“It’s open.”
The door slowly opened while letting out an audible creaking sound. A face appeared in the small gap that opened in the doorway.
Large eyes that resembled Saeyeon’s. The usual clothespin in her hair. Eyebrows that resembled mine, and her soft cheeks and sharp jawline which were a mixture between mine and Saeyeon’s.
Her face which would normally always have an arrogant, innocent smile on it looked worried as she glanced at me cautiously.
“······Can I come in?”
My daughter, the girl who claimed to be from the future, Saeyeon’s daughter and mine, Jin Jaim.
I changed my deep breath into a sigh once I saw her hesitation and turned back towards my desk before answering.
“You usually enter whenever you want. Come in.”
In the corner of my vision, I saw Jaim carefully enter the room and close the door behind her. I spoke while being careful as to not give her a sideward glance.
“So, what’s up?”
“Uhm······.”
Her hesitating voice calmed down for a moment. I moved my hands. I wasn’t going to rush her. However, I wasn’t going to show her that I intended to listen.
In response to my behavior, Jaim spoke as if she had resolved herself.
“I haven’t helped you with your work lately, so I figured I could help out.”
I expected this. Nanda, Upperclassman Nabom, and Saeyeon all talked with Jaim, so they most likely all told her to talk to me personally.
“······By all means.”
So I spoke the opposite of what was on my mind. Because I have to smile.
I’m not sure how she took my words, but Jaim’s expression lightened up slightly. I accidentally wounded up giving her a side glance.
“······Ehehe.”
Even though just earlier she was worried about whether she could come to my side or not, she was displaying her usual smile right now. I was able to remember something once I saw Jaim drag a chair next to me and sit down.
Yeah. That’s how Jaim smiled.
I wasn’t the only one who had changed ever since that day. Similar to how Saeyeon had become slightly more mature and how Jihye sometimes acts casually, Jaim had changed as well.
Different from how she used to argue with me, tease me, and sometimes make me think that she hates me, she started to stick close to me like this and act cute and childish.
······Although I wasn’t able to see her act like this that much as of late.
Jaim brought her chair so close that our arms nearly touched before asking.
“So, what are you making? Another improvement for the robot maid?”
The work that I did with Jaim was creating a robot maid. To be exact, should I say a humanoid robot? We gave Multi, which started with being a robot vacuum cleaner, a pair of legs and, well, it doesn’t seem like a human, but it at least looks like a ‘robot’.
“Huh······?”
However, that’s not what I’ve been researching lately.
“······What’s this?”
Jaim, who was looking at the stuff on top of my desk in order to see what I’ve been doing, was surprised by the various formulas and major textbooks that were littered across my desk and the sight of the university level textbooks that were piled up and strewn about.
I didn’t have a design or a blueprint yet. My research hasn’t reached that far yet. I’m just barely at the point of establishing a theory in my own way.
Everyone claims that it’s impossible, but I have no other choice.
“Wait a second.”
Jaim picked up a single sheet of paper among the many sheets that were scattered everywhere and read it. Carefully. She probably doesn’t understand the details of what was written on it, though.
“······Why are you researching something like this?”
But at the very least, she should be able to figure out what I’ve been researching.
“Just as a hobby? It felt like it would be fun.”
I tried to change the topic, however, Jaim grabbed the edge of my clothes and held the sheet of paper out towards me while staring straight at me.
“But why are you researching time machines, Dad?”
I took the piece of paper from Jaim’s hand and turned away.
“I told you. I’m just doing it as a hobby.”
“What about robot maids? What about that research?”
“I’m going to invent them later on anyway, right? I felt like I could have a moment of leisure. You knew before, didn’t you? That I was also interested in this field when you first came here.”
But it seems Jaim didn’t buy my excuse.
“······I was going to say this more carefully, but you probably heard from Nanda Oppa and Big Sis Nabom already, so I’ll just say it without any warming up. Dad, you’ve been acting weird lately.”
“How have I been acting weird?”
“You’ve been gradually distancing yourself from me and Mom, you avoid us if we’re together, and you keep grumbling about something by yourself. You promised last time, didn’t you? That you wouldn’t focus on only your own work, that we should work together since we’re a family, and that you’ll become a person who doesn’t harm the people he cherishes.”
Yeah. I did say that.
Back when I got into a fight with Jaim, that’s what I said to reconcile with her.
That’s why I understood why Jaim was upset.
“But what are you doing now? Stop bottling everything up by yourself and tell us if you’re struggling. Mom, Jihye, and I are your family now, Dad! Stop pretending to be okay and stop telling us that you’re okay when you aren’t!”
But.
“I also······!”
The emotions building up inside me nearly made me turn around and shout, but I barely managed to hold it back.
“······ ‘I also’, what?”
Without missing the words that I accidentally let slip out, Jaim folded her arms and looked at me with a gaze that appeared as if she were telling me to talk if I have something to say. Her gaze looked as if her side was the one that was tolerating me. Seriously, that arrogance.
I’m not staying silent because I enjoy this.
I’m not smiling because I enjoy this.
Because I don’t want to hurt the people precious to me, because I want to protect the people precious to me, because it’d be better off if I’m the only one who suffers. Even though I’m simply trying to shoulder it by myself since it’s something I heard after acting overconfident. Even though I’m simply trying to protect my family as the head of the household.
It’s frustrating. I want to cry. I want to get mad and shout. I want to lay everything bare. Yeah. That might happen.
If I honestly tell Saeyeon and Jaim everything, then we might be able to find a solution. We might be able to overcome this together.
But I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to tell Saeyeon that ‘You’re going to die in 2 years.’. I don’t want to tell Jaim that ‘The reason Saeyeon and my future self broke up is because she died.’. I don’t want to see the expression Jaim would make the instant I tell her this.
I’ve already seen similar expressions when I said the things I wanted to say.
Saeyeon’s expression when I told her that I never liked her.
Jaim’s expression when I said that if Saeyeon were like Jihye, then Jaim might have not had to come here.
I didn’t want to see those expressions again.
That’s why.
“Is there something weird about me wanting to make a time machine?”
I continued to lie.
“Everyone keeps saying that time machines are impossible to make, but you traveled back in time, Upperclassman Nabom did as well, and so did Jihye, so it’s possible, isn’t it? This also means someone invented the time machine in the future, so wouldn’t it be good if I do the research first and find the method?”
“······So you’re going to be like that.”
Jaim grit her teeth in response to my words which I had said while imitating my usual self. She kicked her chair back and stood up. I remember that face. That’s the face she makes when she’s either up to her head with anger or when she’s sulking.
“Whatever! Do whatever you want, Dad! Be it making a time machine or whatever!”
But it was different from then. The opposition getting upset in response to thoughtless words was different from the opposition getting upset by words that were said in order to intentionally upset them. Even if Jaim gets mad at me right now, I have no other choice but to say this.
“Master, Miss, rest for a moment and······.”
“Get out of the way!”
Jaim pushed Jihye, who, like usual, had bad timing and entered the room with a smile on her face while holding a cup of coffee and a glass of juice, aside and left the room. Large strides. She’ll probably be like that for the next few days.
“Master? Why is the Miss······.”
“Leave her alone for now. She’s just sulking.”
“But it seemed like she was very upset······.”
“Well, it probably isn’t to the same degree as when she shouted that she would throw you out.”
Jihye handed the cup of coffee to me while gazing at the door which Jaim had just run out of. It may be obvious, but it was pitch black. Black itself. A black where you couldn’t see anything else.
While I was taking a sip of that, Jihye asked me a question with a worried look still on her face.
“Uhm, Master. The Miss most likely said this as well, but have you been struggling with something recently?”
“······Everyone has been asking me that question.”
It felt really silly this time, so I laughed. Jihye didn’t know how to react, so she didn’t leave or take a seat.
“······This might seem like an abrupt question, but.”
Therefore, I resolved myself to ask something since we were on that topic.
The question that I kept failing to ask until now because I was scared.
“You, when you first came to the past, you didn’t understand what I meant when I said that Saeyeon and I broke up in the future, right?”
⎯ Uhm, Mrs. Ja Saeyeon, I sincerely apologize, but······.
⎯ In the future, you······.
⎯ The breaking up······ part?
At that time, I just thought that Jihye didn’t understand me because she was simple-minded. But, perhaps······.
“Jihye, did you know that Saeyeon will d······. No, do you know what will happen in the future?”
“⎯⎯⎯·····.”
Jihye’s eyes became wide the instant she heard my question. Her gaping mouth couldn’t properly let out a sound. As if she was shocked that I knew as well.
“Master, where did you······?”
“Answer me.”
Once I cut her off, Jihye went silent.
Shortly after, after thinking for a moment, Jihye nodded her head weakly.
“······As I thought.”
I wasn’t shocked because I had expected this answer. But, why······?
However, before I could voice my question, it disappeared.
Why didn’t you tell me? What would I even do if she told me?
We both averted our gazes. A strained silence fell upon us once more. This wasn’t what I intended. With this, Jihye most likely knows why I’ve been acting weird lately. I would appreciate it if she didn’t tell anyone. Jihye enjoys gossiping, after all.
“······Can I ask you the reason?”
I ended up saying the complete opposite of what was on my mind. Moreover, I couldn’t take back the words I had spat out. As always.
Jihye didn’t answer. I didn’t want to see the expression on her face, so I didn’t turn my head. Shortly after, Jihye answered.
“If Master asks me that as my ‘Creator’, then I will answer.”
That was a roundabout refusal.
A roundabout refusal that was saying that if I were asking that as a question between two humans, as a master and a robot maid, as a father and a housekeeper, or even a question asked to a mistress, then she refuses to answer.
Meaning that if I destroy the relationship we’ve built until now and ask her that as a target of absolute obedience, then and only then would she answer.
I couldn’t ask because I knew this.
······To be exact, it’s because I’m scared.
I heard about Saeyeon’s death as well because of my greed. Upperclassman Nabom had warned me that I wouldn’t be able to avoid the future if I heard the answer.
There’s a chance that if I hear Jihye’s answer right now, then Saeyeon will truly die for that very reason.
I know. At the very least, I know now. I know that I’m not a genius or an impressive existence. That’s why I can’t take the risk.
I might be the one who kills Saeyeon.
“······You can go back to work now.”
“······Understood. Then if you would excuse me. Have a good night.”
Jihye responded to me by bowing courteously before leaving while only take the glass of juice with her. I was left by myself in my room.
I might have a lot of time left. We have 2 years, after all. I couldn’t forgive myself for thinking that, so I clenched my teeth.
I took a sip from the cup of pitch black coffee. It was bitter.
I tilted the cup of coffee and its content swayed.
I know very well that I can’t make something like a time machine. An incredible genius will probably invent it. A great genius that’s capable of completely disregarding modern physics.
I might not be able to do anything even if I make something like a time machine. Upperclassman Nabom was the one who rode that time machine here and said that nothing could be done even if you went to the past on a time machine.
Despite that, I have no other choice but to struggle.
Since I don’t know a way to change the future.
Just what exactly do I have to do in order to change the future?
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