The next day.
It was as if nothing happened.
Kail was gone from her life, but it didn’t affect her daily routine.
He disappeared like he never existed in her life. What happened during the past few days felt like a dream, because her life was suddenly back to normal.
Kail was gone forever.
Where did he go?
Silje couldn’t believe it. There was no trace of him anywhere, like the snow that melts when the sun shone on it. She felt empty inside.
‘It’s better this way. I can live a good life without him. A great life.’
Although she tried to convince herself of it, Silje couldn’t help but feel oddly sad. It was like a ghost came and left an invisible mark on her. He was gone, but Silje couldn’t pretend that nothing happened.
Her work life, however, went on as usual.
She was a professional, and she made sure her personal life didn’t affect her career. As if everything was fine, Silje walked the runways and posed for the cameras.
Just like that, she successfully finished New York Fashion Week.
Time, unaware of Silje’s pain, passed by as usual. Winter ended and spring came. New green leaves and colorful blooms filled Central Park, and Silje enjoyed the warm New York City breeze.
Time seemed to make things better for her, and when she could finally feel more relaxed, she took up Christian’s offer to go for dinner after the Sherian show.
After that awkward night with Kail, Silje never met with Christian again on her personal time, but they still worked together often. Silje and Christian were both professionals after all.
Christian was waiting for her with a gentle smile on his face. It was a strange thing. Silje feared that after the unfortunate confrontation between Christian and Kail, she would feel uncomfortable around Christian, but that was not the case. After that night, they still continued to chat sometimes as if nothing happened. Silje thought they could even be considered distant friends.
Their dinner was pleasant as they talked comfortably. Their relationship was like Raf Simons’ outfit, comfortable and loose-fitting. Their friendship was understanding, perhaps because they were both from the same region. There was no romance between them, only kindness and thoughtfulness. They didn’t have to have long extensive conversations to get to know each other.
Silje felt relaxed around Christian. They could talk about fashion for hours and their interests were very similar.
Silje remembered their first conversation after the incident with Kail.
“I am sorry about last time. That man… He came to my dorm unannounced and… it just happened.”
When Silje awkwardly explained it, Christian smiled nonchalantly.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m over it. But I can see that he really is an intense guy. If I stayed a little while longer, he would’ve killed me.”
“I’m sorry, Christian.”
“No, it’s fine. Just forget it.”
“Here’s this year’s fashion week collection scrapbook. I focused on the Milan collection. At the back, there is an article that analyzes this year’s Paris haute couture.”
They were enjoying their coffee at a coffee shop in the Square Park when Silje offered him her book. Christian smiled and accepted it.
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
He was still the same.
Christian was always the same.
Even now, he accepted her offer kindly. He had an amused smile on his face. Silje knew that there was no way Christian needed her scrapbook. He was the best designer in the city and obviously, he knew everything there was to know about this season’s trend. Even if he didn’t look into it himself, his women, Emma and Cynthia, would’ve made him a personalized scrapbook.
But still, he smiled and thanked Silje. He was kind and considerate, and perhaps that was why he was so successful.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
When he asked Silje with interest, she replied quietly, “No, it’s nothing.”
“Really? It seems like you are thinking about something. I’m curious.”
Silje grinned at his playful tone. Christian asked in Danish with a smile, “What were you thinking about?”
Silje laughed out loud and replied, “It’s really nothing. Nothing serious anyway. I was just thinking about how kind you are, Christian. You must already know everything in this scrapbook, yet you thank me for it like you really need it.”
“I don’t know EVERYTHING about fashion and the latest trends. The article you mentioned will be helpful, Silje. I mean it.”
“Oh really? Then I’m glad, Christian.”
When Silje seemed genuinely relieved, he smiled faintly and patted her head.
“You are a good person, Silje.”
“Pardon?”
“You are the kindest model I know. You may be stubborn and have an exaggerated sense of justice, but you are very kind and hardworking.”
He looked at her caringly and continued, “I truly hope you do well in your life. I hope you are, and will always be, happy.”
“Thank you, Christian, but your Emma and Cynthia wouldn’t like it they heard you say that.”
At her joke, Christian grinned.
“You think so? I guess they are like my family. We talk constantly 24/7. They always check up on me to see what and how I am doing.”
“I noticed. And that must be one of the reasons why you can be so focused and create such wonderful fashion collections.”
Christian laughed.
“Yeah, it’s true.”
He didn’t deny it as he continued, “They are always with me. Until I leave this industry, they will be my work wives. We will practically live together and enjoy our lives together.”
“You should know that as long as they are with you, no woman will be able to stand by you long term. This is the fact.”
Silje warned him quietly, and Christian only smiled. It seemed like he was enjoying this conversation.
“You’re right, but it’s part of my life. Fashion shows and parties. If a woman can’t or won’t endure them, then that woman wouldn’t be right for me. I live in the vicious jungle that is fashion.”
“And you have no intention of leaving it for a woman.”
When Silje pointed it out, Christian laughed again and offered her his hand.
“How about you? Would you stand by me, Silje?”
“No thank you. I don’t want to be eaten alive by Cynthia and Emma.”
At her firm answer, Christian laughed.
“Too bad. We could’ve made a good team for Sherian.”
He joked and Silje watched him with a smile. They were now close enough to be able to joke around like this. It was a happy relationship, but…
Christian wasn’t her soulmate. Her soulmate was elsewhere.
Her soulmate was not gentle. He was vicious and primal.
He…
He lived in the deepest part of herself.
When she remembered his face, Silje shook her head.
What was the point now? He was gone.
She made him leave.
The next day.
It was as if nothing happened.
Kail was gone from her life, but it didn’t affect her daily routine.
He disappeared like he never existed in her life. What happened during the past few days felt like a dream, because her life was suddenly back to normal.
Kail was gone forever.
Where did he go?
Silje couldn’t believe it. There was no trace of him anywhere, like the snow that melts when the sun shone on it. She felt empty inside.
‘It’s better this way. I can live a good life without him. A great life.’
Although she tried to convince herself of it, Silje couldn’t help but feel oddly sad. It was like a ghost came and left an invisible mark on her. He was gone, but Silje couldn’t pretend that nothing happened.
Her work life, however, went on as usual.
She was a professional, and she made sure her personal life didn’t affect her career. As if everything was fine, Silje walked the runways and posed for the cameras.
Just like that, she successfully finished New York Fashion Week.
Time, unaware of Silje’s pain, passed by as usual. Winter ended and spring came. New green leaves and colorful blooms filled Central Park, and Silje enjoyed the warm New York City breeze.
Time seemed to make things better for her, and when she could finally feel more relaxed, she took up Christian’s offer to go for dinner after the Sherian show.
After that awkward night with Kail, Silje never met with Christian again on her personal time, but they still worked together often. Silje and Christian were both professionals after all.
Christian was waiting for her with a gentle smile on his face. It was a strange thing. Silje feared that after the unfortunate confrontation between Christian and Kail, she would feel uncomfortable around Christian, but that was not the case. After that night, they still continued to chat sometimes as if nothing happened. Silje thought they could even be considered distant friends.
Their dinner was pleasant as they talked comfortably. Their relationship was like Raf Simons’ outfit, comfortable and loose-fitting. Their friendship was understanding, perhaps because they were both from the same region. There was no romance between them, only kindness and thoughtfulness. They didn’t have to have long extensive conversations to get to know each other.
Silje felt relaxed around Christian. They could talk about fashion for hours and their interests were very similar.
Silje remembered their first conversation after the incident with Kail.
“I am sorry about last time. That man… He came to my dorm unannounced and… it just happened.”
When Silje awkwardly explained it, Christian smiled nonchalantly.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m over it. But I can see that he really is an intense guy. If I stayed a little while longer, he would’ve killed me.”
“I’m sorry, Christian.”
“No, it’s fine. Just forget it.”
“Here’s this year’s fashion week collection scrapbook. I focused on the Milan collection. At the back, there is an article that analyzes this year’s Paris haute couture.”
They were enjoying their coffee at a coffee shop in the Square Park when Silje offered him her book. Christian smiled and accepted it.
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
He was still the same.
Christian was always the same.
Even now, he accepted her offer kindly. He had an amused smile on his face. Silje knew that there was no way Christian needed her scrapbook. He was the best designer in the city and obviously, he knew everything there was to know about this season’s trend. Even if he didn’t look into it himself, his women, Emma and Cynthia, would’ve made him a personalized scrapbook.
But still, he smiled and thanked Silje. He was kind and considerate, and perhaps that was why he was so successful.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
When he asked Silje with interest, she replied quietly, “No, it’s nothing.”
“Really? It seems like you are thinking about something. I’m curious.”
Silje grinned at his playful tone. Christian asked in Danish with a smile, “What were you thinking about?”
Silje laughed out loud and replied, “It’s really nothing. Nothing serious anyway. I was just thinking about how kind you are, Christian. You must already know everything in this scrapbook, yet you thank me for it like you really need it.”
“I don’t know EVERYTHING about fashion and the latest trends. The article you mentioned will be helpful, Silje. I mean it.”
“Oh really? Then I’m glad, Christian.”
When Silje seemed genuinely relieved, he smiled faintly and patted her head.
“You are a good person, Silje.”
“Pardon?”
“You are the kindest model I know. You may be stubborn and have an exaggerated sense of justice, but you are very kind and hardworking.”
He looked at her caringly and continued, “I truly hope you do well in your life. I hope you are, and will always be, happy.”
“Thank you, Christian, but your Emma and Cynthia wouldn’t like it they heard you say that.”
At her joke, Christian grinned.
“You think so? I guess they are like my family. We talk constantly 24/7. They always check up on me to see what and how I am doing.”
“I noticed. And that must be one of the reasons why you can be so focused and create such wonderful fashion collections.”
Christian laughed.
“Yeah, it’s true.”
He didn’t deny it as he continued, “They are always with me. Until I leave this industry, they will be my work wives. We will practically live together and enjoy our lives together.”
“You should know that as long as they are with you, no woman will be able to stand by you long term. This is the fact.”
Silje warned him quietly, and Christian only smiled. It seemed like he was enjoying this conversation.
“You’re right, but it’s part of my life. Fashion shows and parties. If a woman can’t or won’t endure them, then that woman wouldn’t be right for me. I live in the vicious jungle that is fashion.”
“And you have no intention of leaving it for a woman.”
When Silje pointed it out, Christian laughed again and offered her his hand.
“How about you? Would you stand by me, Silje?”
“No thank you. I don’t want to be eaten alive by Cynthia and Emma.”
At her firm answer, Christian laughed.
“Too bad. We could’ve made a good team for Sherian.”
He joked and Silje watched him with a smile. They were now close enough to be able to joke around like this. It was a happy relationship, but…
Christian wasn’t her soulmate. Her soulmate was elsewhere.
Her soulmate was not gentle. He was vicious and primal.
He…
He lived in the deepest part of herself.
When she remembered his face, Silje shook her head.
What was the point now? He was gone.
She made him leave.
