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Published at 3rd of September 2019 09:08:26 PM


Chapter 14

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Being yourself means aligning your beliefs, words, and, actions. You are the one controlling your actions. You are not depending on anyone else to dictate the pace for you, as you are simply accountable to yourself. You are not making any attempt to falsify your true self, in order to gain grounds. Rather, you are projecting your own nature. Note that there is no other you. It is not possible for you to unfold what is in you when you are not being yourself. Consequently, this is a necessary trait to possess, in order for one's gift to be his power. Ralph Waldo Emerson, one of America's greatest writers, a philosopher and essayist once said that "to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

It baffles me the way some people falsify the personality in them. You have to reject the spirit of false life. As Alan Watts, a British-born philosopher, writer, and speaker, best known as an interpreter and populariser of Eastern philosophy for a Western audience, puts it: "Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be." The person who is a jerk to others and the person who is afraid of social situations are both not being themselves. Their life is just being covered with conditioned, fear-based thinking.

False Identity

Sometimes, we find ourselves doing what it takes for the other person to accept us. In most cases, these actions are detrimental to our true essence, and we cannot play such role for long. We refrain from being ourselves, for fear of being rejected or unaccommodated. You do not even realise that if you are chosen by the other person under that circumstance, it is not 'you' the person has chosen, but that artificial person you claim to be. You can only imagine what happens when you go back to your normal self. Do you not feel it can be disastrous? The consequence is that you must consistently be this 'someone else' you thought you should be, to keep what the other person has given you, leading to unhappiness.

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The case of revealing a false identity to people is a practical example of not being one's self. Why should one say one is a lawyer, when one is really a carpenter or petty trader? Is it because you want to 'raise' your social status? You may even fall into the hands of someone whose flair is not for lawyers, but for carpenters or traders. So, the best bet is being you.

It is due to being 'fake' that people indulge in a lot of atrocities. Align your actions with your thoughts and beliefs. Do not practise the notorious slogan of "Do what I say, but don't do what I do." Do not imagine yourself to be someone else, so that you can practically figure out the best you can do with your true self. There are those who boast of things that they are not. Putting it in context, telling other students, for example, that one's parents are always dining with Mr President; when, in essence they are finding it difficult to get a proper meal a day, will definitely block one's chances of getting help, when needed. This is not far-fetched but something that is really common among a lot of people.


There are cases where some men go to the extent of borrowing cars, in order to attract the love of the girls they wish to have a relationship with. Come on, this deceit cannot last, because, sooner or later, the truth comes out. Any reasonable person will not accept you for what you 'pose' with, but, for what you truly are. If you show you are poor, the girl may even be the one to lift you up. The womenfolk are not left out here. Be content with how you look, so that the confidence in you will brighten you up. Why bleach your body when you know that, one day, your true complexion will manifest? Is it not better for the man who wishes to marry you to see you as that 'dark complexioned girl whom I love', than 'that fake fair-complexioned girl who deceived me'? Check yourself.

Ask yourself more: what happens when your lie fades and the person finds out the real you? Why build on a shaky foundation when your original self might be a far better bargaining power in love, work or any of life's circumstance?

Be Not Deceived

There was a man who was always giving people the wrong impression of himself. He claimed to have everything, and know every influential person in the country. He went as far as carrying stethoscope, claiming that he was a medical doctor. He was collecting money from uninformed people, and promising them that he would be able to take care of their health challenges. The man claimed he was always in touch with all the people of high influence, especially those in power. At the mention of the name of any President, Governor, or minister, this man would claim immediately that he just had a

chat with him.

He went as far as stressing how he 'freely' had access to the Presidential villa. But, this was a man with a heavy burden of looking for a job for his son! He was begging people to assist him get a job for his son. Once, I had cause to ask him: "Since you're in close relationship with Mr President, why don't you meet him for a job for your son?" His answer was just f-u-n-n-y! He said: "Oh! I don't like discussing such issues with him. I know he can assist me, but I don't want that. I was even with him last night, and we had dinner together." What a fake person! As a matter of fact, the man came with a rickety taxi, and complained that his 'Jeep' was with the mechanic. You can imagine. If that type of person was living a decent and transparent lifestyle, he would have stood a chance of better opportunities because people would have offered him some assistance.

Let us strive to remove all the masks and pretentiousness in us, destroy all the stories, labels, and judgements that we have placed upon ourselves, so that our true selves will emerge. In as much as we should not allow ourselves to be deceived, we should, equally, not deceive others. Let us always be what and who we are.

Stop 'Acting'

Some people are busy with the question: "How will I act to get others to accept me?" Come off that, because, acting can expire but your true self is everlasting. You do not need to bend to fake expectations when you can easily be yourself. Follow your intuition. You might not always have your expectations met or be accepted but you will not need to have to keep up an act that you might forget. Reminds me of the story of a passenger who kept regaling his fellow passengers with one story to the other of one place he had visited to the other. At one of his pauses, one of the passengers remarked: "Sir, you know a lot of places and have travelled wide. You must know Geography very well." The other passenger replied:"Yes, yes, my friend. In fact, I was in Geography only last week." Of course, this provoked ridicule from fellow passengers! You see! So, being yourself and being honest saves you from ignorant lies and embarrassments.

When you are fully connected with your true nature, you are paving way for your real self to shine forth. As Bernard M. Baruch, an American financier, who was an adviser to different US Presidents, puts it: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." We do not expect everyone to think alike; bring out your thoughts, while the other person brings out his. That makes the world to move on.

Do not pose as someone else, because your personality will be at stake.

Impersonation can ruin you if you are not careful. This is because, behind every mask lies a deep-rooted fear to express oneself and reveal to others who one truly is. Deep down, the person feels empty and lonely. Pretending to be someone else makes you more alienated. Any relationship you enter into through this practice, can never be genuine, as they are merely shallow and empty. There will not be any sincere communication built around pretence. Stop wearing a mask. You are not a masquerade, you know.

You Are You

If you are who you are and truly appreciate your uniqueness, you will realise that no one can be better than you. This is the ticket for attracting all your life's ideal situations. Recognising your importance and your peculiarity is a worthy way to move forward in life, because you are God's own masterpiece. Just take it that you are original, and extremely valuable. Alex Gaskarth, singer and rhythm guitarist, advises thus: "Be real, because a mask only fools people on the outside. Pretending to be someone you're not takes a toll on the real you, and the real you is more important than anyone else."

You have an assignment, as you are full of gifts. Because you can leave a mark on this generation, be bold and stand on your identity. You can achieve this by loving yourself, creating a life you adore, rightly connecting to your passions/interests, self-care, obeying your intuition, committing to yourself, and your natural inclination. Believe truly in yourself. This demands your acceptance that you are who you are, and no one else. You can quickly agree with Dr. Seuss12, the cartoonist, who stated: "Today, you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is 'Youer' than You."

Disadvantages Of Fake Life

Primarily, when you are not being yourself, your positive qualities cannot grow. This is because you will be busy, using all your energy in trying to accomplish what you want to project, losing energy you might have used in building your positive qualities. You will lose yourself in trying to become someone else.

Practising a fake life will waste a lot of your energy and time. Why? Because you will use much energy and time to come up with different ways to speak and do things when you are not being yourself. You know that if you are being yourself, what you say will come out naturally.

Being Yourself - Life Booster

You will always be at peace with yourself if you are not having a fake life. When you are at peace with yourself, your mind will be at rest because you will notice and enjoy the intricacies of your inner self. Consider a situation where you will not have anything to prove to anyone because, already, you are yourself. That means you are at your best. If, for instance, you did not tell someone a lie about being a relation to one influential character or the other, you are not expecting anyone to call you up to come and prove it. If you did not impersonate as a doctor, whereas you are a clerk, no one will expect you to come and defend or prove your identity.

When you are being yourself, you can inspire others. Millions of people who lack confidence worldwide can be inspired by your exemplary life. They will come to understand the need for them to be confident, and follow their heartbeats. You will gain higher level of respect when you are not living a fake life. People will admire your spirit, your courage, your confidence, and your level of honesty. The level of respect you will earn yourself knows no bounds because, you are already known by your true identity. You are someone that nobody can stop from what you are doing, because there is no fake display by you.

Many people live in fear and that is why some fake their identities. However, being yourself gives you the benefit of not living in fear. The choices you make in life are no longer dependent on what other people will think, whether you will be judged, disliked, or rejected. You will focus on being you. Due to the fact that being yourself makes you to have less stress, you will become more productive. When you reject living as who you are not, your productivity in your work, your play and your life in general will skyrocket.

Better decisions are made when you are being yourself. This is because they will be based on how you feel deep down, not based on your trying to copy someone. If you are able to make decisions by yourself, you will not have a complicated lifestyle. So, being yourself earns you this attribute. You are disposed to make better decisions when it is decision time. You cannot afford to copy someone else's decision. In your career, being yourself makes you take credit when your successes are as a result of your own original making. If you compare the work you have put your stamp on with those times when you have hidden your opinions and worked to the specifications of others, you will feel fulfilled. So, being yourself leads to you appreciating yourself more.

Being yourself keeps you happier. The happiest days of your life are as a result of doing the things you want to do (of course, the positive things), being the person you are meant to be, doing the things you believe in, and most importantly, being honest with yourself. You will be happier in life when you are simply yourself. Leo Tolstoy, the Russian novelist and moral philosopher, and who ranks as one of the world's great writers, says: "If you want to be happy, be." Being the person you are meant to be, makes you feel very happy. Do not forget that your happiness comes before anything else. When you like yourself, others will like you. People can always tell when others are not real. When you are in tune with yourself, those around you will get to know and like the real you as well.

Surely, confidence attracts confidence, so, being yourself for the sake of being yourself will attract more authentic people into your life, and create a network of supportive, uplifting, and even fun folks you can genuinely call friends. When people trust you because of your honesty, courage, confidence, you will really feel good. Naturally, people will not feel comfortable with anyone who cannot say a few words without telling a lie. After all, George MacDonald, Scottish author, poet and Christian minister observes that "to be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved." Only the right type of friends will be attracted to you, because they take you for who you truly are. As you engage in the business of your personal growth, doing what is natural to you, and staying true to your heart, you will always bring out your best. Relax, and be YOU.

~ Leave Me Alone ~

1. As I look at every angle I feel that I can dangle Since life is so glorious I just have to be joyous.

2. You may have your own pleasure And regard it as your treasure

You may view it with compassion But don't joke with my passion.

3. Great joy for one to be oneself Why do you want to change yourself Why do you make yourself so fake?

When you could live richer with nothing at stake?

4. If you stand on your right You will attain the height

Be empowered by full clarity And you will get your liberty.

5. No matter the condition I have my own ambition

You have your own to follow And not my own to swallow.




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