Chapter 117: 117
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"Despite being spun out of nothing, it'd been perfect the moment came it to be. Without flaw or distortion. An immaculate reflection of the Creator's innermost nature. That was what it'd once been, according to what I've been taught by my master. Take my master's words with a grain of salt though, dear. It's nothing more than ancient folklore, I suspect."
"Even our oldest records don't go as far back as the creation myth that my master spoke about and we've been around for a very, very long time, mind you…"
Long enough that we had been the first to venture out into the stars during our infant steps as a civilization. Before we realized the truth about our world…
He'd noticed that something was off, but couldn't put his finger on it. There was something about what she'd said that caused him to feel an itch on his chest. It… was calling out him, as if to remind him that it was still there.
Reed frowned and said, "No… I'm pretty sure there's a grain of truth hidden within that myth, as much as I'd love to agree with you…"
He clutched his chest, summoned all the strength he could muster and then pushed what had tried to escape back down into the depths of his heart…
I reject! I will NOT do your bidding anymore…! I will choose what to do what I want with MY life!
It is not yours to do with as you please! I am no puppet for you to control! Begone and end my torment, poisonous wretch!
I am not YOU, nor will I EVER be, as much as you may wish for it!
It was not Reed rejecting a supposed call to adventure, but rather him defending himself from something claiming to be it. He knew it to be nothing more than a false pretender and a scheming bastard. It sought to use him as a tool for its own devices and had been consistently hounding him ever since he sealed his power away.
Lu'um immediately sprung into action when she noticed Reed's pained expression and said, "Are you alright?! Is it happening, again?! Did the seal—"
"I-I'll be fine," said Reed and started using the breathing exercises that he'd learned from his therapist in order to calm himself down. He took long, drawn-out breaths as he counted backward from ten until the pain finally subsided after what felt like an eternity…
"Don't worry… the seal's still intact, despite the wretch's continued attempts to break through it," said Reed. "…It's gone, for now."
It had taken a long time for Reed to reach the level he was at now and a considerable amount of effort on both his and Lu'um's account. The events that had transpired during the Twilight War had taken a heavy toll on Reed.
Not in a physical sense; he was healthy as could be. His spirit, however, had not fared as well…
In the beginning, it'd started off as nothing more than a faint, indescribable feeling of unease in his heart, but then… it had progressed into something far worse.
Anxiety, fear, and guilt poisoned his mind until he could no longer tolerate it…
Lu'um clearly remembered that first started happening sometime early during their first year in exile, when their relationship had finally started to get serious.
She'd been woken up by him in the middle of the night, out the blue. He had looked paler than death as he stood in front of their bedroom mirror. It'd been a heartbreaking sight for her as she watched the one she loved break down until he'd turned into a total mess.
Never before had she seen him so vulnerable and weak. He'd been drenched in a cold sweat, trembling like a newborn fawn when she'd woken up. Tears pouring out his eyes as he struggled to breathe.
After that night, she'd come to realize that he was not well and that he needed some serious help. Lu'um could heal flesh wounds, purify corrupting miasma and slay monsters, but she wasn't sure about fixing what afflicted her beloved.
She understood that wounds of the mind — a sickness that resided within the spirit — was not something to be trifled with. It was a serious affliction that would have to be handled by an expert on matters of the mind.
For the longest time, she'd known that he'd been afflicted something, even before night of his panic attack. That something had been eating at him from the inside as far back as when they'd been trainees in the Spire.
It took a lot of effort on both their parts, but after several months and many intensive therapy sessions, he finally began to move past what'd been haunting him — the self-perceived regrets, failures, and fears he had kept buried for the longest.
What he had unhealthily bottled up inside of himself as a result of not knowing how to properly cope and manage his negative emotions and thoughts…
It's not the same as back then, though. This was nothing more than a hiccup in comparison to what he was like before we started going to therapy.
Been months, maybe more than half a year since the last time he's had his last episode…
Reed felt better almost immediately after Lu'um had taken him into her arms. It always astounded Reed how Lu'um could always make him feel safe with her presence alone. She'd come to possess a borderline magical ability that he'd come to rely upon whenever he felt awful.
Naturally, it wasn't something that Reed was all too accustomed to — being tenderly and lovingly held by someone — given his troubled history.
He'd scarcely ever made physical contact with others, so it'd been quite the experience for Reed when he realized just how intimate and close a real relationship with another person was, especially one of… romantic love.
The dark, brooding clouds that hovered over his he always seemed to part whenever she was beside him.
In his eyes, she was the sun in his sky and her smile alone was enough to disperse even the most terrible of storms…
It wasn't long before Reed completely recovered, much to Lu'um's relief.
When Lu'um felt Reed press his head against her chest, he stroked his hair and said, "Feeling better now?"
"Mhm…" A small smile formed on his lips and he said, "I've always loved the sound of your heartbeat, as strange that sounds… It's strangely pleasant listening to it. It makes me feel a certain way that I can't explain properly but… I like it. A lot."
Lu'um giggled when she heard that and whispered, "I feel the same way about your heartbeat, too. …It's also one the reasons why I always snuck into your bed, you know. I would always wait until you fell asleep before I, um, listened to the sound of your heartbeat…"
…Among other things too, of course. Like watching your cute, sleeping face and, well… some other super-important stuff.
Yeah, serious business-related stuff. Nothing sketchy at all…
The loving couple continued to whisper sweet nothings to one another as they watched the little lanterns dance about outside of their bedroom in Mardeimus until they finally fell asleep.
They were both sure that one day they would have to venture forth and fulfill their responsibilities but until then, they'd enjoy the peace and quiet. At their core, neither of them were truly interested in the duty they'd been given and as far as they were concerned, it was at the bottom of their list of priorities.
The world would be fine without them, even if they weren't around to save it. Well, at least for now, given that there were no great battles that needed to be fought at the moment. No impending crisis that required their immediate attention, so they wouldn't even bother.
Sure, there were perks with being a God. Yeah, they could bend reality and create something from nothing, among other incredible feats. Yes, they were blessed with long, immortal life and superhuman prowess, but none of that mattered to them.
To some, especially those who sought power, wealth, and fame, it was the greatest gift in the world.
They loved the fact they'd become Chosen but to them…
It was less than dog shit. To them, it wasn't worth a goddamned second of their time. Neither one was truly interested in the power that they'd given bestowed with — if anything, they thought it nothing more than a curse rather than a gift.
Power? They weren't mindless apes like some of the more pitiful idiots who'd become Chosen.
They didn't care for power, or want to seek it just for the sake of possessing it. Reaching the apex of power? It sounded like something only a half-brained idiot would want.
Immortality? That was for cowards who either feared that they were living a life unfulfilled or who irrationally feared death itself. Yes, death was frightening and a source of great sorrow, but it was also a release from life's suffering. That was something that a majority of Chosen had forgotten about, but they had not.
Wealth and fame only tempted the vain and materialistic, who sought to fill the void in their hearts with meaningless nonsense. It was beneath them to fall for such… base desires.
They were content and complete with one another, with themselves, and with their life, together.
Everything else… was unnecessary. And so was the damned fate they'd been burned with.
Those were their true feelings on the matter. That was their truth…
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"Despite being spun out of nothing, it'd been perfect the moment came it to be. Without flaw or distortion. An immaculate reflection of the Creator's innermost nature. That was what it'd once been, according to what I've been taught by my master. Take my master's words with a grain of salt though, dear. It's nothing more than ancient folklore, I suspect."
"Even our oldest records don't go as far back as the creation myth that my master spoke about and we've been around for a very, very long time, mind you…"
Long enough that we had been the first to venture out into the stars during our infant steps as a civilization. Before we realized the truth about our world…
He'd noticed that something was off, but couldn't put his finger on it. There was something about what she'd said that caused him to feel an itch on his chest. It… was calling out him, as if to remind him that it was still there.
Reed frowned and said, "No… I'm pretty sure there's a grain of truth hidden within that myth, as much as I'd love to agree with you…"
He clutched his chest, summoned all the strength he could muster and then pushed what had tried to escape back down into the depths of his heart…
I reject! I will NOT do your bidding anymore…! I will choose what to do what I want with MY life!
It is not yours to do with as you please! I am no puppet for you to control! Begone and end my torment, poisonous wretch!
I am not YOU, nor will I EVER be, as much as you may wish for it!
It was not Reed rejecting a supposed call to adventure, but rather him defending himself from something claiming to be it. He knew it to be nothing more than a false pretender and a scheming bastard. It sought to use him as a tool for its own devices and had been consistently hounding him ever since he sealed his power away.
Lu'um immediately sprung into action when she noticed Reed's pained expression and said, "Are you alright?! Is it happening, again?! Did the seal—"
"I-I'll be fine," said Reed and started using the breathing exercises that he'd learned from his therapist in order to calm himself down. He took long, drawn-out breaths as he counted backward from ten until the pain finally subsided after what felt like an eternity…
"Don't worry… the seal's still intact, despite the wretch's continued attempts to break through it," said Reed. "…It's gone, for now."
It had taken a long time for Reed to reach the level he was at now and a considerable amount of effort on both his and Lu'um's account. The events that had transpired during the Twilight War had taken a heavy toll on Reed.
Not in a physical sense; he was healthy as could be. His spirit, however, had not fared as well…
In the beginning, it'd started off as nothing more than a faint, indescribable feeling of unease in his heart, but then… it had progressed into something far worse.
Anxiety, fear, and guilt poisoned his mind until he could no longer tolerate it…
Lu'um clearly remembered that first started happening sometime early during their first year in exile, when their relationship had finally started to get serious.
She'd been woken up by him in the middle of the night, out the blue. He had looked paler than death as he stood in front of their bedroom mirror. It'd been a heartbreaking sight for her as she watched the one she loved break down until he'd turned into a total mess.
Never before had she seen him so vulnerable and weak. He'd been drenched in a cold sweat, trembling like a newborn fawn when she'd woken up. Tears pouring out his eyes as he struggled to breathe.
After that night, she'd come to realize that he was not well and that he needed some serious help. Lu'um could heal flesh wounds, purify corrupting miasma and slay monsters, but she wasn't sure about fixing what afflicted her beloved.
She understood that wounds of the mind — a sickness that resided within the spirit — was not something to be trifled with. It was a serious affliction that would have to be handled by an expert on matters of the mind.
For the longest time, she'd known that he'd been afflicted something, even before night of his panic attack. That something had been eating at him from the inside as far back as when they'd been trainees in the Spire.
It took a lot of effort on both their parts, but after several months and many intensive therapy sessions, he finally began to move past what'd been haunting him — the self-perceived regrets, failures, and fears he had kept buried for the longest.
What he had unhealthily bottled up inside of himself as a result of not knowing how to properly cope and manage his negative emotions and thoughts…
It's not the same as back then, though. This was nothing more than a hiccup in comparison to what he was like before we started going to therapy.
Been months, maybe more than half a year since the last time he's had his last episode…
Reed felt better almost immediately after Lu'um had taken him into her arms. It always astounded Reed how Lu'um could always make him feel safe with her presence alone. She'd come to possess a borderline magical ability that he'd come to rely upon whenever he felt awful.
Naturally, it wasn't something that Reed was all too accustomed to — being tenderly and lovingly held by someone — given his troubled history.
He'd scarcely ever made physical contact with others, so it'd been quite the experience for Reed when he realized just how intimate and close a real relationship with another person was, especially one of… romantic love.
The dark, brooding clouds that hovered over his he always seemed to part whenever she was beside him.
In his eyes, she was the sun in his sky and her smile alone was enough to disperse even the most terrible of storms…
It wasn't long before Reed completely recovered, much to Lu'um's relief.
When Lu'um felt Reed press his head against her chest, he stroked his hair and said, "Feeling better now?"
"Mhm…" A small smile formed on his lips and he said, "I've always loved the sound of your heartbeat, as strange that sounds… It's strangely pleasant listening to it. It makes me feel a certain way that I can't explain properly but… I like it. A lot."
Lu'um giggled when she heard that and whispered, "I feel the same way about your heartbeat, too. …It's also one the reasons why I always snuck into your bed, you know. I would always wait until you fell asleep before I, um, listened to the sound of your heartbeat…"
…Among other things too, of course. Like watching your cute, sleeping face and, well… some other super-important stuff.
Yeah, serious business-related stuff. Nothing sketchy at all…
The loving couple continued to whisper sweet nothings to one another as they watched the little lanterns dance about outside of their bedroom in Mardeimus until they finally fell asleep.
They were both sure that one day they would have to venture forth and fulfill their responsibilities but until then, they'd enjoy the peace and quiet. At their core, neither of them were truly interested in the duty they'd been given and as far as they were concerned, it was at the bottom of their list of priorities.
The world would be fine without them, even if they weren't around to save it. Well, at least for now, given that there were no great battles that needed to be fought at the moment. No impending crisis that required their immediate attention, so they wouldn't even bother.
Sure, there were perks with being a God. Yeah, they could bend reality and create something from nothing, among other incredible feats. Yes, they were blessed with long, immortal life and superhuman prowess, but none of that mattered to them.
To some, especially those who sought power, wealth, and fame, it was the greatest gift in the world.
They loved the fact they'd become Chosen but to them…
It was less than dog shit. To them, it wasn't worth a goddamned second of their time. Neither one was truly interested in the power that they'd given bestowed with — if anything, they thought it nothing more than a curse rather than a gift.
Power? They weren't mindless apes like some of the more pitiful idiots who'd become Chosen.
They didn't care for power, or want to seek it just for the sake of possessing it. Reaching the apex of power? It sounded like something only a half-brained idiot would want.
Immortality? That was for cowards who either feared that they were living a life unfulfilled or who irrationally feared death itself. Yes, death was frightening and a source of great sorrow, but it was also a release from life's suffering. That was something that a majority of Chosen had forgotten about, but they had not.
Wealth and fame only tempted the vain and materialistic, who sought to fill the void in their hearts with meaningless nonsense. It was beneath them to fall for such… base desires.
They were content and complete with one another, with themselves, and with their life, together.
Everything else… was unnecessary. And so was the damned fate they'd been burned with.
Those were their true feelings on the matter. That was their truth…
"Despite being spun out of nothing, it'd been perfect the moment came it to be. Without flaw or distortion. An immaculate reflection of the Creator's innermost nature. That was what it'd once been, according to what I've been taught by my master. Take my master's words with a grain of salt though, dear. It's nothing more than ancient folklore, I suspect.""Even our oldest records don't go as far back as the creation myth that my master spoke about and we've been around for a very, very long time, mind you"Long enough that we had been the first to venture out into the stars during our infant steps as a civilization. Before we realized the truth about our worldHe'd noticed that something was off, but couldn't put his finger on it. There was something about what she'd said that caused him to feel an itch on his chest. It was calling out him, as if to remind him that it was still there.Reed frowned and said, "No I'm pretty sure there's a grain of truth hidden within that myth, as much as I'd love to agree with you"He clutched his chest, summoned all the strength he could muster and then pushed what had tried to escape back down into the depths of his heartI reject! I will NOT do your bidding anymore! I will choose what to do what I want with MY life!It is not yours to do with as you please! I am no puppet for you to control! Begone and end my torment, poisonous wretch!I am not YOU, nor will I EVER be, as much as you may wish for it!It was not Reed rejecting a supposed call to adventure, but rather him defending himself from something claiming to be it. He knew it to be nothing more than a false pretender and a scheming bastard. It sought to use him as a tool for its own devices and had been consistently hounding him ever since he sealed his power away.Lu'um immediately sprung into action when she noticed Reed's pained expression and said, "Are you alright?! Is it happening, again?! Did the seal""I-I'll be fine," said Reed and started using the breathing exercises that he'd learned from his therapist in order to calm himself down. He took long, drawn-out breaths as he counted backward from ten until the pain finally subsided after what felt like an eternity"Don't worry the seal's still intact, despite the wretch's continued attempts to break through it," said Reed. "It's gone, for now."It had taken a long time for Reed to reach the level he was at now and a considerable amount of effort on both his and Lu'um's account. The events that had transpired during the Twilight War had taken a heavy toll on Reed.Not in a physical sense; he was healthy as could be. His spirit, however, had not fared as wellIn the beginning, it'd started off as nothing more than a faint, indescribable feeling of unease in his heart, but then it had progressed into something far worse.Anxiety, fear, and guilt poisoned his mind until he could no longer tolerate itLu'um clearly remembered that first started happening sometime early during their first year in exile, when their relationship had finally started to get serious.She'd been woken up by him in the middle of the night, out the blue. He had looked paler than death as he stood in front of their bedroom mirror. It'd been a heartbreaking sight for her as she watched the one she loved break down until he'd turned into a total mess.Never before had she seen him so vulnerable and weak. He'd been drenched in a cold sweat, trembling like a newborn fawn when she'd woken up. Tears pouring out his eyes as he struggled to breathe.After that night, she'd come to realize that he was not well and that he needed some serious help. Lu'um could heal flesh wounds, purify corrupting miasma and slay monsters, but she wasn't sure about fixing what afflicted her beloved.She understood that wounds of the mind a sickness that resided within the spirit was not something to be trifled with. It was a serious affliction that would have to be handled by an expert on matters of the mind.For the longest time, she'd known that he'd been afflicted something, even before night of his panic attack. That something had been eating at him from the inside as far back as when they'd been trainees in the Spire.It took a lot of effort on both their parts, but after several months and many intensive therapy sessions, he finally began to move past what'd been haunting him the self-perceived regrets, failures, and fears he had kept buried for the longest.What he had unhealthily bottled up inside of himself as a result of not knowing how to properly cope and manage his negative emotions and thoughtsIt's not the same as back then, though. This was nothing more than a hiccup in comparison to what he was like before we started going to therapy.Been months, maybe more than half a year since the last time he's had his last episodeReed felt better almost immediately after Lu'um had taken him into her arms. It always astounded Reed how Lu'um could always make him feel safe with her presence alone. She'd come to possess a borderline magical ability that he'd come to rely upon whenever he felt awful.Naturally, it wasn't something that Reed was all too accustomed to being tenderly and lovingly held by someone given his troubled history.He'd scarcely ever made physical contact with others, so it'd been quite the experience for Reed when he realized just how intimate and close a real relationship with another person was, especially one of romantic love. The dark, brooding clouds that hovered over his he always seemed to part whenever she was beside him.In his eyes, she was the sun in his sky and her smile alone was enough to disperse even the most terrible of stormsIt wasn't long before Reed completely recovered, much to Lu'um's relief.When Lu'um felt Reed press his head against her chest, he stroked his hair and said, "Feeling better now?""Mhm" A small smile formed on his lips and he said, "I've always loved the sound of your heartbeat, as strange that sounds It's strangely pleasant listening to it. It makes me feel a certain way that I can't explain properly but I like it. A lot."Lu'um giggled when she heard that and whispered, "I feel the same way about your heartbeat, too. It's also one the reasons why I always snuck into your bed, you know. I would always wait until you fell asleep before I, um, listened to the sound of your heartbeat"Among other things too, of course. Like watching your cute, sleeping face and, well some other super-important stuff.Yeah, serious business-related stuff. Nothing sketchy at allThe loving couple continued to whisper sweet nothings to one another as they watched the little lanterns dance about outside of their bedroom in Mardeimus until they finally fell asleep.They were both sure that one day they would have to venture forth and fulfill their responsibilities but until then, they'd enjoy the peace and quiet. At their core, neither of them were truly interested in the duty they'd been given and as far as they were concerned, it was at the bottom of their list of priorities.The world would be fine without them, even if they weren't around to save it. Well, at least for now, given that there were no great battles that needed to be fought at the moment. No impending crisis that required their immediate attention, so they wouldn't even bother.Sure, there were perks with being a God. Yeah, they could bend reality and create something from nothing, among other incredible feats. Yes, they were blessed with long, immortal life and superhuman prowess, but none of that mattered to them.To some, especially those who sought power, wealth, and fame, it was the greatest gift in the world.They loved the fact they'd become Chosen but to themIt was less than dog shit. To them, it wasn't worth a goddamned second of their time. Neither one was truly interested in the power that they'd given bestowed with if anything, they thought it nothing more than a curse rather than a gift.Power? They weren't mindless apes like some of the more pitiful idiots who'd become Chosen.They didn't care for power, or want to seek it just for the sake of possessing it. Reaching the apex of power? It sounded like something only a half-brained idiot would want.Immortality? That was for cowards who either feared that they were living a life unfulfilled or who irrationally feared death itself. Yes, death was frightening and a source of great sorrow, but it was also a release from life's suffering. That was something that a majority of Chosen had forgotten about, but they had not.Wealth and fame only tempted the vain and materialistic, who sought to fill the void in their hearts with meaningless nonsense. It was beneath them to fall for such base desires.They were content and complete with one another, with themselves, and with their life, together.Everything else was unnecessary. And so was the damned fate they'd been burned with.Those were their true feelings on the matter. That was their truth
