The Beginning - Miho - June
"A movie... you said?"
"Yeah."
As I asked back with reflexive politeness, Momotani-kun gave me a bashful nod.
Inside the envelope that he held out were two advance tickets for a foreign animated film that had recently made record-breaking profits, the very one that the people, myself included, have been keeping an eye on.
Don't tell me, this...
"How about this Saturday? Um... the two of us together."
Called it. That's definitely what it was, no guessing needed.
Sweat sprouted from the top of my head. What should I do? That was totally unexpected. After school at the garbage dump. A classmate and fellow member of the Hygiene Committee. Being called out so inadvertently, I just assumed that it would be about the change in the committee's weekend meeting schedule.
"Didn't you say that you wanted to watch this movie, Kurahashi-san?"
"Um, well, that's..."
...I certainly said that, yes.
"After that, let's go eat some pancakes on our way back. You don't dislike sweet things, do you?"
"Ah, well, yes..."
...Rather than dislike, I actually like them a whole lot, yes.
"If you can't make it on Saturday, then Sunday is fine as well. Any day when you're free, Miho-chan."
"Eh? But..."
...Called by my first name. With -chan affixed, no less.
"It'll be my treat, of course. Then we can go shopping. And after that--"
"W-wait!"
With the intention to interrupt the rapid succession of invitations, a voice so loud that surprised even myself rushed out of my throat
"...Huh?"
Momotani-kun's ceaseless flurry of words stopped for the first time.
"Um, about the movie, well... I'm sorry."
Making sure not to miss the pause, I bowed down so deeply that my glasses levitated over my nose. The line of pine trees bathed in the evening sun, their shadows casting a contrast of light and darkness on the garbage dump. I was standing in the bright side, while Momotani-kun was in the dark.
"Ah... I see."
Momentarily petrified, Momotani-kun then wrung out a dry voice.
"I'm sorry, really."
"N-no, it's fine, don't be sorry. Um, sorry for asking something weird out of the blue. C'mon, lift your face up already."
"...Yeah."
To think he's worrying about others first even immediately after his invitation was declined... Momotani-kun sure is a wholehearted person.
"That can't be helped, yeah. Sorry, getting in your way when taking out the trash and all."
"It's alright..."
...Should I at least go to the movie, after all?
It's a title I want to see, I do want to try out the pancakes, and Momotani-kun is a nice guy.
"Alright. See you later, then."
And so Momotani-kun left, forcing out a tough smile to the last moment. But contrary to the look on his face, his back showed an honest expression of sadness.
No, this won't do. I can't let him go like this. I have to tell him. There's something I have to tell Momotani-kun...
"Momotani-kun."
"Huh?"
As I called out, Momodani-kun turned back around in a snap. His eyes that had clouded with disappointment shone with a glimmer of hope. I stood before him and fixed my eyes on his.
"About the weekend Hygiene Committee meeting, it got moved to tomorrow's lunch break."
"Huh?"
"...Don't forget that. You have to attend, alright?"
"Meeting...?"
By all means, now might not be the best timing to be informed of official businesses. One has to wonder, would any other Hygiene Committee member be able to take in the news while having such a sad face?
But, but, this is about tomorrow...
If I'm going to inform him, faster should be better...
"Got it. See you tomorrow, then..."
No longer able to keep the smile on his face up, Momotani-kun walked off, shoulders dropped.
I'm so sorry, Momotani-kun.
I'm not sure how I should say it, but... Sorry for being like this.
"What? You turned him down?"
We were on our usual way back home. While I pushed my bicycle down the sunset-dyed hill road, Chihiro, who had climbed onto the rear rack of her own accord, exclaimed.
"But why?"
For that small stature, the power of her ear-splitting sharp voice seemed comparable to that of a hundred people.
"What do you mean, why... I just can't do anything about it. Get down already. You're heavy."
"But of course you can!"
As I tipped my bicycle over, Chihiro swayed her ponytail and jumped down, then pointed her index finger at me,
"Miho, didn't you say that you wanted to see that movie? That you wanted to try out those pancakes?"
"...I knew it. So it was you who gave my info away, Chihiro?"
And I was wondering how Momotani-kun knew my tastes so well, considering the fact that we haven't talked much.
"That's right. Ha~h, after all that trouble assisting you--"
Chihiro puffed up her chest, showing no sign of remorse.
"And what kind of assist was that? Stop leaking people's private info around, jeez."
"Um, sorry, Miho-chan. Momotani-kun begged us for it, you see."
Although I'd intended to nail Chihiro down, the voice of apology came from behind me instead.
"Wait, you're in this too, Mayu-chan?"
Turning around, I could see the pigtailed girl's normally sleepy eyes drop down even more, her hands pressed together in an apologetic manner.
"Y-yeah. You're both in the Hygiene Committee, so I thought it'd go well together. Do you not like Momotani-kun, by any chance? Really sorry about that."
"Well, it's not that I don't like him, but..."
With Mayu-chan making that face, I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. Chihiro was one full of energy and initiative, but lacking in refinement, while Mayu-chan was an individual who cared deeply for her friends and hated conflict above all else. The miraculously preserved balance of the relationship of us three had started the day we entered High School.
"Ha~h, really, what a total waste~ You wanted to watch the movie. Wanted to eat pancakes. The guy is pretty damn handsome. You didn't even have a reason to refuse."
While counting the points with her fingers, Chihiro gave me a look of reproach.
"...Of course I had a reason to refuse."
"What? What reason?"
Although I had intended to be a soliloquy, Chihiro's sharp ears made sure to not miss it.
"Ah- well, that's..."
"What's this, Miho-chan? So you don't like Momotani-kun, after all?"
Mayu-chan gave me a worried look.
"No, that's not it. But you see..."
Sandwiched between the stare of those two, I hesitated a bit, then,
"You have to be dating first to go to the movies together... Right?"
I said, quietly.
"And it's out--!"
The two of them facepalmed in succession.
"What's out!?"
"Your seriousness, of course. Seriously... Once a Serious Specs, always a Serious Specs."
Chihiro slapped my back.
"Ow- Enough with that nickname already!"
"Gyah~ No touching, Serious Specs! Seriousness is contagious!"
And as I raised my hand up to return the favor, Chihiro let out an exaggerated scream and repeated-- Serious Specs.
"Now, don't say that, Chihiro-chan. Being serious is actually one of Miho-chan's good points."
...You're saying that like it's supposed to be a bad point or something, Mayu-chan.
"C'mon, it's Miho's lack of flexibility is what's preventing her from deciding what to do for her future."
Hiding herself behind her bag, Chihiro showed a sign of frustration on her lips.
"Huh? What's up with that? They're completely unrelated things... aren't they?"
I couldn't deny those words outright, because, even if just a little, I was aware of the facts.
As an abrupt moment of silence ensued, the faint sound of a steam whistle reached our ears. Looking downhill, we could see a ferry drawing lines of white-crested waves as it sailed on the Seto Inland Sea, the water surface glittering amid the setting sun.
The school we attend, Ohsakimishima High, was a public school famous for its rich natural charm.
Or rather, negatively speaking, a school in the sticks. If one were to look down from the school building on the low hill, they would be immediately met with a sight of the Seto Inland Sea. Then, the mountain. Then the plantations, paddy fields, rivers and reservoirs, with houses and stores here and there among them. Well, let's just say that sixty percent of the scenery was composed of water, trees, and soil.
But precisely because it was a town in the countryside, the local government was very active in their public activities. Take my school, which thoroughly provided guidance for students to either pursue higher education or seek employment, so that none of the graduates would be stuck fooling around purposelessly... However,
"You're the only one who still hasn't decided on anything yet, Miho. What're you going to do?"
"W, well..."
Even though it was already June, I still haven't decided whether to get a job or pursue higher education.
My Future Aspirations Questionnaire, left blank and in no state to be submitted, had been laying dormant in my bag for no less than two months now.
"Better choose soon. Hang around too long, and it'll be too late for either."
Chihiro said, with an annoyed expression.
"I know, I know. But it's not like I can make this kind of choice so easily..."
"Sure you can. You're academics is great, so how about going to uni together with us?"
"You say go to uni, but what will I be even doing there? Choosing a University without any vision for the future is just..."
"Gah, you serious serious serious serious serious serious little-!"
"Ouch ouch ouch!"
Chihiro slapped my forehead equal to the number of times she said 'serious'.
"Now then, be seated, Serious Specs."
She had me kick the bike stand down and sit on the saddle. Then pointed her index finger at me again.
"You listening, Miho? It'll be fine just choosing any uni you can get into. It's a place to go play around in anyway."
An absurd assertion, made with no shame whatsoever.
"Whoa- really? Uni isn't free, you know. Don't you feel any guilt towards your parents?"
"Gah, you Serious--"
"Ow-- Jeez, enough hitting already."
"C'mon, a girl won't find happiness acting all serious like that."
"What's up with that? It's not like I want to--"
"Now, now, no fighting, you two."
Sensing that the atmosphere was becoming uneasy, Mayu-chan came between us.
"C'mon, Mayu, say something to Serious Specs."
"Why me? I haven't said anything weird. Right, Mayu-chan?"
"Huh? Huh? Er, well..."
Now stuck in a dilemma from her attempt to divide us, Mayu-chan hesitatingly alternated her sight between me and Chihiro.
"Aren't you thinking too much into things, Miho-chan?"
She then said that, with a wry smile.
"Yay~ Mayu is on my side~!"
"No way, Mayu-chan..."
To think even Mayu-chan, who should have been on the side of seriousness, was now siding with Chihiro...
"Now, don't make that face, Miho-chan. I understand how you're feeling, of course."
Wait, what kind of face was I even making? And as for Mayu-chan, her face has gone slightly pale as she rubbed my upper arms.
"But you see, isn't it because you don't have any vision for the future that you go to a University? It opens up possibilities, and the academic background will surely give you an advantage when job searching."
"Ooh, good stuff. You're talking some good stuff there, Mayu."
Chihiro proudly pointed her finger at Mayu-chan.
"Possibility, huh..."
"If it's your future plans, you can still think about them after entering University."
Having said all that, Mayu-chan then took a seat on my bicycle's rear rack.
"...Hm~m."
Possibility. Since becoming a third-year student, I've been hearing that word so much that my ears could rot away.
"But wouldn't that just be postponing the decision making? It kind of feels like putting off thinking about it and choosing the easy road. Besides, if you're going to University to get a job, shouldn't you decide on the type of job first, then go to a uni that is good for that kind--"
"Gah-- Shut it! Don't say things I don't understand, Serious Specs!"
Although I don't think I've said anything that she can't comprehend, Chihiro suddenly started to shout and jumped on my bicycle's pedal. The stand was sprung up by the force, and the bicycle began its descent down the slope.
"What the-- What're you doing, Chihiro!"
All while Mayu-chan and I were still on the rear rack and saddle, respectively.
"This is dangerous! Stop the bike, Chihiro-chan!"
"Shaddup! Come, Mayu! We're fixin' her seriousness! Blast off~~!"
Maybe because she found amusement in our screams, Chihiro pedaled on even harder. The bicycle, with the three of us crammed on, rushed down the hill road with reckless speed.
"Too fast, too fast! Stop, Chihiro!"
"How's that, Serious Specter! Feel like leaving Miho's body now!?"
"Stop messing around and drop the speed! The bike's brake is weak! It won't turn the curve--"
Beyond the hill road's final curve, a reservoir awaited like a gaping mouth.
"What, you chicken? I'll show ya my perfect cornering!"
"Stop it! Chihiro, you idiot--!"
As the bicycle accelerated, the pond popped into view. Although I was looking straight at it, I thought I really shouldn't be doing that. As I shut my eyes, my body flew up. At the exact moment when I opened my eyes up again, a large body of water splashed into my field of vision,
"----!"
And before we could even raise any scream, we were already at the bottom of the muddy water.
Serious.
Since when did that word stop being a compliment?
I've had bad eyesight since I was little, so I've been wearing glasses everyday since I entered Elementary School. Apparently, there used to be a time when people held the assumption that [Glasses = Serious Academic Type], but nowadays, when they see grade schoolers wearing glasses, they would first assume that it's due to playing too much video games-- [Glasses = Lazy Gamer Otaku Type]. As if in opposition of such irrational judgement, I had chosen of my own accord to lead a life of diligence and seriousness. This talk goes way back to when I was in first grade.
However, it was quite surprising for me that, just as the image of glasses changes with passage of time, the meaning of the word 'serious' also changes with progress of my age. Up to the end of Elementary School, it was one of compliment and respect. When I got up to Middle School, it became a title that made me feel some sort of itch or pain. And now, in my third year of High School, it got turned into Serious Specs, a name representing some new type of demon.
And that lead to the ritual to exorcise said demon, which sent all three of us plunging into the reservoir, ending with me having to push my bicycle around while soaked from head to toe.
Why did I have to go through all that just because someone thinks my seriousness need fixing? I just don't get it. My seriousness... what's so wrong with it?
I dropped off my bicycle at the ferry dock's parking area and took a look around.
After confirming that no one is looking, I started to wring out the water from the edge of my skirt. One, two, three-- And just when I became less conscious of my surroundings and started to count four, a middle-aged man appeared from the waiting room. I panickingly closed my skirt and crouched down.
That was a close call. But my skirt hasn't stopped dripping yet. All I could do was give up, letting water drip down onto the asphalt as I made my way to the wharf.
There are two wharfs for boarding ships. One for ships sailing out to the open sea, the other for regular service ferries that sail the inland sea, making trips to and from the five Himekura Islands. A compact-sized ferry is docked along the regular service wharf, bathing in the evening sun as it waited for the time of departure. Near the vessel's bow, a seagull made what seemed to be a face of curiosity as it floated on the water. The Seto Inland Sea's waves are calm today, as with any other day.
"Hey, what's up with all the water, Miho? You jumped into the sea or what?"
Just as I boarded the ferry, my Dad, who was tending to the passengers on the deck, immediately saw what was out of ordinary.
"Uh, well... It's a long story. Lend me a towel, Dad."
"Here, use this."
Dad immediately responded, holding out the ragged cloth that was previously draped on his neck.
"Er, that's a bit..."
"What, can't share a towel with your old man? Kids these days... He~y, Kome-chan. Switch with me for a bit."
He could guess just from my wry smile, it seems. Dad shouted out to one of his co-workers smoking on the wharf's end, then opened the control room's fence with an 'Off Limits' sign on it and went inside.
"What's this, Miho-chan? Aren't you all soaked up? You fell into the sea or what?"
Komemoto-san, dressed in the same light blue crew uniform as Dad, grinned and snickered as he crossed the gangway. I have to wonder, do seamen think the sea is the only place that has water or something?
"He~y, Miho. You can use this, right? The seats will get all wet, so go up to the second floor."
Dad came back out of the control room and threw me a towel that had been curled into a ball from the other side of the fence.
"Thank...pfft--"
That was way too fast.
I picked up the towel that just hit my face and fell to the deck, wiping my hair with it regardless of the fact.
As much as I'd like to lean on the seats on the first floor, the captain himself was keeping watch right in front of me, so I reluctantly made my way up the metal stairs to the sightseeing seats.
Ten or so passengers are on the wind-swept deck of the second floor. A group of middle-aged tourists, with one Cameraman-ish middle-aged man gripping the railings while looking down at the wharf.
It's quite embarrassing, having the group of middle-aged tourists repeatedly glancing at me while soaked up like this. What's more, the thought that the Cameraman might have seen under my skirt a while ago is also super embarrassing. I distanced myself as far as possible from the Cameraman with the baseball cap, and sneakily sat myself down on a pipe bench. The middle-aged man enthusiastically overlooked the crew preparing to set sail, paying no mind to me at all.
It's intriguing. For me, all this is no more than some mundane scenery, but for him, it's a spectable that he can't afford to look away from even for a second. The middle-aged Cameraman never separated himself from that spot, at least not until the ferry started sailing off from the wharf, leaving trails of white-crested waves.
It takes twenty minutes by ferry from the mainland to the First Himekura Island, on which I was born and raised. In other words, it's an outlying island. Although it is the largest and most populated of the five Himekura Islands, the level of its educational institutions go up to only Middle School, causing me to have to commute to a High School on the mainland everyday via the transit ferry that Dad handles. The vessel comes around once per hour. If I were to miss a trip in the morning, then I'd be late for sure. But considering the island's population, the number of trips per day actually is quite generous.
[Dear Customers, thank you for utilizing the service of this Himekura Steam Ship today.]
As the ferry made its way past the breakwater and out of the gulf, the vessel's speakers started broadcasting the captain's usual announcements. Being who I am, I promptly clasped my hands together and offer a prayer to the god of the sea. Please, I beg of you, may today finally be the day Dad doesn't say anything unnecessary.
[This vessel will be making trips to the five Himekura Islands, and is scheduled to arrive at the First Himekura Island on 17:25. Furthermore, helming the vessel is myself, Kurahashi Taizou, forty-three years of age. I am currently shouldering the responsibility of the livelihood of my wife, my little daughter, and also my eldest daughter, the soaking wet one on the observation deck.]
...But the prayer was not heard today, as with any other day. The people on the observation deck are already bursting with laughter.
Dammit, Dad. And here I am, always telling you to stop fooling around on broadcast.
I hung my head down and endured the never-ending stream of chuckles from those on the sightseeing seats.
[Err-- Everyone, up ahead to the right is the Kamikura Island. It enshrines the Guardian Diety of the five Himekura Islands. And right next to it is the famous tourist spot, the Kendama Rock. Please, do enjoy the sight of the gods playing with the evening sun to your heart's content.]
Maybe Dad could actually sense this daughter's anger, as his broadcast has suddenly become normal. At the same time, one among the middle-aged tourist group excitedly pointed out to the sea, and the Cameraman has already started pressing his shutter.
...And this is when we were not even at the photo spot yet.
I raised my face up, seeing in the distance the Kendama Rock's tip hooking the orange evening sun.
The Kendama Rock. Official name: Inukura Island. An uninhabited island lying between the mainland and the First Island, it had been shaved by the Seto Inland Sea's highly fluctuating tides, resulting in its figure that resembles a cross, or the tip of a Kendama. Once per day, the evening sun representing the Kendama's ball lines up with the island's pointed end, completing the gods' play set. As the Prefecture has designated it as a tourist spot and is preserving it accordingly, and especially since the Five Himekura Islands doesn't have any other local specialty, we are all grateful of Guardian Diety for having provided us with a guaranteed increase in tourism revenue and ferry round trips.
The ferry went slightly off the shortest route between the mainland and the First Island, reducing its speed at the area where one can see the sun and the rock line up prefectly. Even with him having to make frequent adjustments on the helm, Dad has always been able to keep the original schedule. His skills and discipline from when he was a fisherman really aren't just for show.
I was able to admire the view for only a brief moment, before the nightmarish broadcast started on the speakers once again.
[Was it to your liking, Dear Customers? The Kendama Rock, pride and joy of Himekura. An island of the gods, a perfect fit for Enka. Please, do listen to your heart's content. Man of the Sea, by Ohtori Gorou.]
Dad? What are you doing, blasting music like you're some kind of DJ? Stop it, or else I'll really get mad at you.
But regardless of this daughter's worries, the intro of the quintessential Enka, so unfitting for a ship broadcast, has started playing on the speaker. And together with it came Dad's raspy, disharmonious voice,
[OH~~~ THE SEA~~~♪]
Why's he singing along? Seriously, karaoke? After blurting to everyone that I'm your daughter? This is the worst... Those chuckles and giggles around me are turning into full-blown laughter now. Enough already. Chihiro, Dad, every one of you... Why...
"Why can't you all take things more seriously!"
With the cry of my soul reaching no one, Dad's live karaoke entered the second song.
"I'm home."
As I opened the door, the aroma of miso drifted from the kitchen, calming down my irritation.
"Ah- welcome back, Sis."
Only for a brief moment, that is. The sight of my little sister lying around, reading a magazine in the living room just rubbed me the wrong way.
"Don't 'welcome back' me, Chiho. Aren't you supposed to be helping Mom?"
"Nah. I'm tired."
Chiho answered, while rolling around.
"You're in second grade, what's there to be tired of? C'mon, go help."
"Nah, I already helped out today."
"Of course you didn't. I'm getting angry, Chiho."
I pulled my little sister by the neck of her T-shirt.
"C- Can't breathe-- Stop it! Mo~m!"
"Now, now, what's with all the noise?"
Mom, who heard our voices, wiped her hands and came out of the kitchen.
"Mom, Sis's real angry--"
That instant, Chiho, who was just rooted onto the tatami mat, sprung up to her feet and coiled around Mom's waist. Seriously, this girl... Always the one to rope Mom to her side first.
"It's because you aren't helping with the chores, Chiho."
"Look, look. She's totally angry, Mom."
"Chiho!"
"Now, now, let's just stop right there. I don't need any help today. Just about wrapped up here."
C'mon, Mom... Why're you pampering Chiho so much? Wasn't it Chiho herself who proposed to help with the chores once a day?
"What's up with that face, Miho? Anyway, you better go take a shower soon. Oh yeah, you've got mail."
"Mail? For me?"
"From some kind of... association? Is it a fanclub or something?"
"No way, the Z-Kai documents are already here? Of course it's not a fanclub. Didn't I already tell you that it's a mail tutoring service? Where is it now?"
"Here."
Chiho passed me the magazine that she was reading earlier. Wait, no, it's not a magazine. It's a...
"A Z-Kai Pamphlet? Why'd you open it, Chiho?"
"Ehh~ Isn't it fine? It's not even a letter. And I was the one who took it from the mailbox."
"It's not fine at all, you idiot!"
I shouted and snatched the documents from her.
"Uwah, Sis is angry again--"
She cried out, life a fire being lit up spontaneously. There she goes again, thinking just crying will let her get away with it.
"Miho, don't yell at Chiho like that."
Mom glared at me while patting Chiho's head.
"Why not? Chiho is totally wrong here."
"Totally you, Sis."
"Enough of that."
Losing my patience, I dashed out of the living room.
"Wait, Miho--"
Mom called out for me to stop, but I ignored her, leaping up the creaky stairs. Swinging my room's door shut, I then tossed away my bag and threw myself onto the bed, half-dried uniform and all.
Idiot.
Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot.
I'm such an idiot.
Why'd I even call Chiho an idiot?
She did go out to get the mail. She did help with the chores. Although they aren't hers, calling her an idiot just for opening envelopes was just too much.
"Aah, jeez..."
I'm so sickened by my own attitude right now. Why? Why am I so annoyed at every little thing lately? Is it because I can't decide on a future goal? Is it because I was being made fun of for being serious?
[A girl won't find happiness acting all serious like that.]
Chihiro's words repeated in my head.
"It's not like I want to find happiness..."
That's the rest of what I was not able to say earlier. All I want is...
I lifted myself up from bed. Through the window's open curtains, I cast my eyes upon the sea that encompasses the Five Islands.
The evening sun illuminated the Kendama Rock. Dad's ferry sailed through the strait between the Second and Third Islands, leaving behind a trail of white-crested waves like a brush. The weather is nice and clear, with outlines of large tankers being visible on the distant horizon.
--I want to go far away.
The thought welled up in the depths of my mind.
I've seen numerous ships off from this very window. Dad's ferry, fishing boat, and even fleets departing to the open sea. Is that the reason? The reason for my longing for a distant place? Somewhere that is not where I am, but further away. Further than that ship drawing a line on the water surface, than the birds crossing the islands, than the sun setting under the horizon, than any place I can see from this window. I've always wanted to go somewhere far away.
...That should be the case, anyway. But right now, I can't even choose one of the paths presented right in front of me. Where is it that I actually want to go?
"Gotta wash... my uniform--"
I took off my damp school vest and unzipped my skirt.
To think I'm still worrying about the cleanliness of my uniform at a time like this... Quite unpleasant, if I say so myself. Anyhow, I'll go apologize to Chiho after this-- That was what I decided on when...
"Sis!"
My room's door suddenly swung open.
"Sorry for reading your mail stuff earlier..."
It's Chiho. She's standing at the door, hanging her head down.
...It's because of Mom, for sure. Mom must have given Chiho a warning. And to think she's coming to apologize while still drying her tears... She's so praiseworthy that I could hug her right about now, but,
"Didn't I always tell you to knock first, you idiot!"
As I was in my underwear, my anger got the better of me again.
"Miho. What's gotten into you lately?"
The dreaded question came up during dinnertime.
On the menu were grilled fish, boiled vegetables, tofu, and Himekura seaweed. An authentic Japanese-style evening meal of the Kurahashi household, with a faint sense of tension.
"Nothing. Well, I don't think there's anything?"
I feigned ignorance as I picked up a piece of grilled fish with my chopsticks, but...
"You seem to always be annoyed at things."
Mom saw through it all.
"Of couse not. Chiho, pass me the soy sauce."
"......"
"Chiho?"
"You're angry. Don't wanna."
"Chiho!"
"No more of that!"
Oh crap, Mom just put her chopsticks down on the table.
"...Sorry."
It was time to apologize. Although it had been wrung out with much reluctance, saying it did life some weight off my chest.
"I'm sorry too, Sis."
And why're you apologizing? Perhaps she thought Mom was angry at her as well, as she the soy sauce bottle out to me with teary eyes. I rubbed Chiho on her knees, and her body twitched in a ticklish expression.
"Listen to your Mom, Miho. I don't want you to say sorry. I want you to tell me."
Looking over us sisters, Mom picked her chopsticks back up.
"Tell what?"
"What's been troubling you?"
...Why go straight to that?
"Now, there's no way I won't know about this. You're just like your father. It's all written on your face."
"Wait a sec-- C'mon, stop saying weird stuff."
"Hey, what weird stuff, Miho? You don't like being similar to your true father?"
Dad, who had been silent up to this point, banged his emptied glass on the table. Totally drunk, totally noisy in speech and actions.
On morning shift days, Dad would start drinking immediately after he got home, ending up all intoxicated by the time everyone gets together for dinner. One might wonder how Dad, who is already quite noisy when sober, would be like when he's drunk,
"Ha~h, what a disgrace. And to think of all this time I've raised this girl-- This daughter whom I could even lend a brand new towel to-- And you're talking like that... Ha~h, what a disgrace. Makes me wanna jump into the sea."
Well, it's quite close to a nightmare.
"We get it, we get it. Just be quiet for a little while, will you?"
"Shaddup. You be quiet, Yukiko."
Mom poured shochu into the empty cup in an attempt to have him shut up, but having gained steam, Dad was unstoppable.
"Listen up... You're in High School. Worry all you want. You're still at the age to seriously worry about love or that stupid youth nonsense..."
Excuse me? Stupid? Nonsense? And your ferry broadcasts are also a source of worry, you know.
"Listen up, Miho. Worry. Worry while you still can. It's fine. Worry to the point that you think you might die, and good things will come to you. That's right, when I was in High School..."
Gah, this routine again. When Dad's drunk, he pretends to listen to the conversation, but he'd always end up taking over in rambling about stories of his past.
"Alright, alright, I'll make a write-up of your heroic saga some day. Right now I want to hear Miho's story. Now, say what you need to, Miho."
On the other hand, Mom is the one who would always listen to what I have to say. Really, I love her. I put my rice bowl down on the table and quietly arranged my chopsticks in front of it.
"To tell you the truth... It's about my future plans."
"Aren't you going to University? Using that-- what's it called... Red-Kai?"
"Z-Kai? I'm still undecided on it. I've been wondering, should I really be going on to University?"
"Huh?"
As I made up my mind and said what I said, both Mom and Dad had a look of confusion in their eyes.
"Should you, huh... What do you think, Dear?"
"Yhuh-? Uh- Sure."
They then turned to each other, exchanging a look that seemed to have some hidden significance.
"Now, Miho. If you're worried about money, we'll manage..."
"That's not it! The thing is, well... I've been wondering what I'll even be doing there. Chihiro and Mayu-chan were saying things like it's for playing around, or to just go in case that it'll open up some future possibilities. But is it really worth it for me to go just like that? Higher education is what decides my path in life to an extent. I can't just make that kind of decision without thinking things through first."
I hadn't intended to speak this much, but those words have been weighing on my mind so much that they all rushed out.
"Miho, you..."
Dad spoke up with a seemingly sober voice,
"You're really worried about some serious business there, huh..."
Then suddenly grabbed the TV remote and upped the volume by two ticks.
"What the-- Turn it off! Why're you even turning the volume up!?"
"Gah-- Don't know, don't care. When you said worry, I thought it'd be about a boy or your friends or all that jazz. This thing's some messy stuff. I'll leave it to your Mom. I got sports
news to catch-- Ooh, looks like Koshien preliminaries are starting already..."
"Dad!"
Ugh, unbelievable. Is high school baseball preliminaries that more important than your daughter's life counseling? Of course I absolutely don't want to be similar to you, baseball freak...
After Dad had to leave the deep sea fishing fleet due to deteriorating physical health, he suddenly got into high school baseball.
Although before the he would sneer and say things like, "I can't stand watching clumsy play like that," he was hooked after watching a game live once. Came home totally awakened to Koshien's charm, so to speak. His reasoning was that, unlike the professionals that play as much as 150 games a year, one's high school baseball can end with only one loss, giving every game an emotionally moving drama of youth to go along with them.
"Ooh, check this out, Chiho. It's a special featuring Hayami Commerce."
"Really? Is Kawakita-kun on?"
On a side note, Chiho has received gifted education since when she first became aware of her surroundings, making her grow up in exactly the way Dad wanted. Now, she's so into high school baseball that, even though it's completely unrelated to Elementary School, she can be hyped up by things like the infamous Monster Rookie of the Tokyo High School.
"Yup, Kawakita's coming up. Doesn't look like he's in good form though. Even with Ogawa coming back to complete the team's main pitching and batting pillars, they still can't get a called game. Having a tough time, looks like."
Dad acted up like some kind of specialist and stretched his neck.
...Huh, so Ogawa-kun's recovered from his injuries.
I look a glance at the TV. Oh well... with all my complaining, I guess it'd be pretty hard to not be influenced at all by this family of mine, so long as we live under the same roof...
"...Hey, Dad. Mind turning the volume up a bit more?"
I readjusted my glasses and turned to face the screen.
"Ooh, so you're interested after all eh, Miho? I know you do, I know you do..."
Dad happily obliged, picking up the remote.
"What, is the life counseling session over already? Seriously, like father, like children..."
Pretending to not hear Mom's inexcusable remark for just this one time, I focused all my concentration on the TV screen.
And then, I really could not hear anything.
My consciousness was grasped in place.
The sounds stagnated, the visuals faltered. No voice entered my ears-- Not the announcer's, not Dad's, not Mom's, not Chiho's. No one else entered the focus of my eyes-- Not Kawakita-kun, not Ogawa-kun.
All of my consciousness was in one place-- Or rather, one person-- Even when the screen switched to other things, that one same scene repeated in my head.
"Miho? You alright?"
Before Mom shook me by the shoulder, I had momentarily forgotten where I even was.
Later that night, I couldn't sleep.
The usually drowsiness-inducing sound of the waves stuck to my ears. This is the first time I've had this feeling. A strange sensation, like a thin layer, wrapped around my body. I sighed and turned over and over. One, two, three, four-- And when the count reached five, I quietly slipped out of bed.
I opened the curtain, revealing the full moon that drew a path of light on the sea of the Five Islands. Contrasting the sea was the Kendama Rock's silhouette in pitch black.
Why does my heart feel so flustered?
The news wasn't even anything unusual.
The Koshien regular team with an Ace player in tow, grasping total victory when faced with a public school team in the first game. The kind of match that happens throughout Japan during each year's preliminaries. Yet it's making me feel a burning sensation in my chest.
...I wonder, why did he have that look in his eyes?
That public high school's pitcher, whose name wasn't even introduced.
Although his pitches were hit countless times by the geniuses of the champ-level school, he persistently pitched on, avoiding at least having the game called off by the mercy rule.
That level of achievement should have been enough as something his team can be fully proud of. So why did he have that look in his eyes? The look of being in a fervent pursuit of something. The look of desperate longing.
When it comes to baseball, I tend to naturally watch them in the perspective of the pitcher, regardless of the team. That's simply because the pitchers are the ones that get the most screentime. Each of those pitchers, whom I've fought together with up to now, approached their batters with a myriad of emotions. Anger, joy, sorrow, regret, fear, excitement.
And then there's him. The fiery emotion in his eyes was completely different from all that I've felt before. When one of the lower-ranking batter hit a homerun, when the #4 batter hit three of his pitches, and even when he narrowly held on when the game was about to be called off by the mercy rule for the seventh time, the fiery emotion of his never faltered. It burned on in silence, as if he was constantly in search of something far away, something completely unrelated to the competition at hand.
That's right, he's searching for something. By himself, all alone. With all his strength.
I can feel it in my chest, burning hotter and hotter.
The ceaseless roar of the waves resounded in my ears, as if they were inviting me to the open sea.
The next morning...
"Nhuh--? What's this, Miho? You're up way earlier than usual."
As I slid open the living room's door, Dad, who was about to spread the newspaper open on the dining table, looked up with an expression of surprise on his face.
"Ah, is it that-- You want to have breakfast with me, eh? I know you do, I know you do. He~y, Yukiko. Get some breakfast for Miho."
As usual, Dad is jumping to conclusions without hearing what I have to say.
"You're up early today, Miho. Did something happen? Wait, don't tell me you couldn't sleep?"
Mom detected my abnormalities right when she came out of the kitchen. Without a moment's delay, I held out the color-printed pamphlet in my hands to her.
"Ah, this... The mail tutoring service thing? If you want to sign up, then sure, why not? Oh, by the way, Mayu-chan's Mother just called. Said Mayu-chan caught a cold and won't be going to school today. Did something happen yesterday?"
"......"
"Miho?"
As Mom looked at me right in the face, I gritted my teeth.
If I'm going to say it, I must start from the very beginning. If any other word were to come in between, I'd not be able to say it anymore. I can still feel the burning in my chest. I've waited till morning without sleep to avoid the risk of the heat fading away.
If I'm going to say it, I must start from the very beginning. Taking a deep breath, I visualized the faint ember which that boy had given to me bursting into a great fire.
"Mom. I wanna go to a University in Tokyo."
"Huh?"
Mom, about to turn over the pamphlet, stopped her hands.
"Tokyo?"
Dad, in the middle of stirring the miso soup, also stopped his hand.
"I want to go to a University in Tokyo, study language, go study abroad, and then someday, I'll find work overseas."
I was the only one who didn't stop.
"Wait, wait-- Hold it right there, Miho. You can't just bring that up all of a sudden."
Of course it's not sudden. I've been thinking about it all this time. I've always, always longed for it. But at the same time, I've feared it. It's not that I was not able to decide on a path for my future. Rather, I was too scared to make the decision. With all the serious front I put up, I was just scared, plain and simple.
"Please. Dad, Mom."
I want to go somewhere far away, too. Like Dad, and like they boy. I want to go as far as I can, with my own abilities, with all my strength.
"Sure, why not?"
Mom quietly folded the pamphlet.
"Hey, Yukiko--"
"No way. For real? You mean it, Mom?"
Mom smiled as I restlessly asked for her confirmation.
"But it has to be a public university, alright? We don't have the money for a private one."
"Yes--!"
I threw my hands up in the air and jumped in joy. Unbelievable. I thought Mom would be the first to object to it.
"Thank you! Dad, Mom!"
"Hold it, Miho. I still..."
"Yay! Ya~y!"
So this is what it feels like to get carried away... Right off the ground! Of course I couldn't keep myself grounded, not with me being this hyped up.
"Gah~~ So noisy~~"
But looks like I was a bit too excited there. Chiho walked in on us, still rubbing her eyes.
"Tokyo, Chiho! Your Big Sis is going to Tokyo!"
I took Chiho by her hands and exclaimed in an especially loud voice.
"Eh-- Right now? I'm going too!"
"Not now, of course. Now, go back to sleep."
"And you're the one who woke me up, Sis."
"Sorry, sorry. Now go on, kids should be sleeping~~"
I carried the drowsy Chiho's delicate frame in my arms, bringing back to her bedroom.
"Na~w, don't get into my futon!"
I slipped into the still-warm futon together with Chiho, who totally dislikes people getting in the same bed as her.
"Hey, Yukiko. You really think it's fine? It's Tokyo, you know. Tokyo. Do you even..."
While frolicking with my little sister in her futon, I could faintly hear Mom and Dad's voices coming from the living room. I raised a finger to keep Chiho quiet and strained my ears.
"What, you're saying that now? Didn't you leave dealing with Miho's worries up to me?"
"I know, I know... But still..."
"Now, you've gone all the way to the Indian Ocean. Don't make such a big fuss about going to just Tokyo."
When it's only those two together, Dad would always be the one losing to Mom in a conversation. Giggles leaked out of Chiho's lips which my finger sealed off.
"I knew she'd be saying something like that one of these days. She's so similar to you, after all."
Mom's voice of strained laughter entered my ears, filling up my chest with a feeling of determination. The resolute flame burns bright, singeing the edges of my heart.
"...Sis?"
Perhaps sensing something by intuition, Chiho held on to my wrist.
Chapter 1 Complete
The Beginning - Miho - June
"A movie... you said?"
"Yeah."
As I asked back with reflexive politeness, Momotani-kun gave me a bashful nod.
Inside the envelope that he held out were two advance tickets for a foreign animated film that had recently made record-breaking profits, the very one that the people, myself included, have been keeping an eye on.
Don't tell me, this...
"How about this Saturday? Um... the two of us together."
Called it. That's definitely what it was, no guessing needed.
Sweat sprouted from the top of my head. What should I do? That was totally unexpected. After school at the garbage dump. A classmate and fellow member of the Hygiene Committee. Being called out so inadvertently, I just assumed that it would be about the change in the committee's weekend meeting schedule.
"Didn't you say that you wanted to watch this movie, Kurahashi-san?"
"Um, well, that's..."
...I certainly said that, yes.
"After that, let's go eat some pancakes on our way back. You don't dislike sweet things, do you?"
"Ah, well, yes..."
...Rather than dislike, I actually like them a whole lot, yes.
"If you can't make it on Saturday, then Sunday is fine as well. Any day when you're free, Miho-chan."
"Eh? But..."
...Called by my first name. With -chan affixed, no less.
"It'll be my treat, of course. Then we can go shopping. And after that--"
"W-wait!"
With the intention to interrupt the rapid succession of invitations, a voice so loud that surprised even myself rushed out of my throat
"...Huh?"
Momotani-kun's ceaseless flurry of words stopped for the first time.
"Um, about the movie, well... I'm sorry."
Making sure not to miss the pause, I bowed down so deeply that my glasses levitated over my nose. The line of pine trees bathed in the evening sun, their shadows casting a contrast of light and darkness on the garbage dump. I was standing in the bright side, while Momotani-kun was in the dark.
"Ah... I see."
Momentarily petrified, Momotani-kun then wrung out a dry voice.
"I'm sorry, really."
"N-no, it's fine, don't be sorry. Um, sorry for asking something weird out of the blue. C'mon, lift your face up already."
"...Yeah."
To think he's worrying about others first even immediately after his invitation was declined... Momotani-kun sure is a wholehearted person.
"That can't be helped, yeah. Sorry, getting in your way when taking out the trash and all."
"It's alright..."
...Should I at least go to the movie, after all?
It's a title I want to see, I do want to try out the pancakes, and Momotani-kun is a nice guy.
"Alright. See you later, then."
And so Momotani-kun left, forcing out a tough smile to the last moment. But contrary to the look on his face, his back showed an honest expression of sadness.
No, this won't do. I can't let him go like this. I have to tell him. There's something I have to tell Momotani-kun...
"Momotani-kun."
"Huh?"
As I called out, Momodani-kun turned back around in a snap. His eyes that had clouded with disappointment shone with a glimmer of hope. I stood before him and fixed my eyes on his.
"About the weekend Hygiene Committee meeting, it got moved to tomorrow's lunch break."
"Huh?"
"...Don't forget that. You have to attend, alright?"
"Meeting...?"
By all means, now might not be the best timing to be informed of official businesses. One has to wonder, would any other Hygiene Committee member be able to take in the news while having such a sad face?
But, but, this is about tomorrow...
If I'm going to inform him, faster should be better...
"Got it. See you tomorrow, then..."
No longer able to keep the smile on his face up, Momotani-kun walked off, shoulders dropped.
I'm so sorry, Momotani-kun.
I'm not sure how I should say it, but... Sorry for being like this.
"What? You turned him down?"
We were on our usual way back home. While I pushed my bicycle down the sunset-dyed hill road, Chihiro, who had climbed onto the rear rack of her own accord, exclaimed.
"But why?"
For that small stature, the power of her ear-splitting sharp voice seemed comparable to that of a hundred people.
"What do you mean, why... I just can't do anything about it. Get down already. You're heavy."
"But of course you can!"
As I tipped my bicycle over, Chihiro swayed her ponytail and jumped down, then pointed her index finger at me,
"Miho, didn't you say that you wanted to see that movie? That you wanted to try out those pancakes?"
"...I knew it. So it was you who gave my info away, Chihiro?"
And I was wondering how Momotani-kun knew my tastes so well, considering the fact that we haven't talked much.
"That's right. Ha~h, after all that trouble assisting you--"
Chihiro puffed up her chest, showing no sign of remorse.
"And what kind of assist was that? Stop leaking people's private info around, jeez."
"Um, sorry, Miho-chan. Momotani-kun begged us for it, you see."
Although I'd intended to nail Chihiro down, the voice of apology came from behind me instead.
"Wait, you're in this too, Mayu-chan?"
Turning around, I could see the pigtailed girl's normally sleepy eyes drop down even more, her hands pressed together in an apologetic manner.
"Y-yeah. You're both in the Hygiene Committee, so I thought it'd go well together. Do you not like Momotani-kun, by any chance? Really sorry about that."
"Well, it's not that I don't like him, but..."
With Mayu-chan making that face, I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. Chihiro was one full of energy and initiative, but lacking in refinement, while Mayu-chan was an individual who cared deeply for her friends and hated conflict above all else. The miraculously preserved balance of the relationship of us three had started the day we entered High School.
"Ha~h, really, what a total waste~ You wanted to watch the movie. Wanted to eat pancakes. The guy is pretty damn handsome. You didn't even have a reason to refuse."
While counting the points with her fingers, Chihiro gave me a look of reproach.
"...Of course I had a reason to refuse."
"What? What reason?"
Although I had intended to be a soliloquy, Chihiro's sharp ears made sure to not miss it.
"Ah- well, that's..."
"What's this, Miho-chan? So you don't like Momotani-kun, after all?"
Mayu-chan gave me a worried look.
"No, that's not it. But you see..."
Sandwiched between the stare of those two, I hesitated a bit, then,
"You have to be dating first to go to the movies together... Right?"
I said, quietly.
"And it's out--!"
The two of them facepalmed in succession.
"What's out!?"
"Your seriousness, of course. Seriously... Once a Serious Specs, always a Serious Specs."
Chihiro slapped my back.
"Ow- Enough with that nickname already!"
"Gyah~ No touching, Serious Specs! Seriousness is contagious!"
And as I raised my hand up to return the favor, Chihiro let out an exaggerated scream and repeated-- Serious Specs.
"Now, don't say that, Chihiro-chan. Being serious is actually one of Miho-chan's good points."
...You're saying that like it's supposed to be a bad point or something, Mayu-chan.
"C'mon, it's Miho's lack of flexibility is what's preventing her from deciding what to do for her future."
Hiding herself behind her bag, Chihiro showed a sign of frustration on her lips.
"Huh? What's up with that? They're completely unrelated things... aren't they?"
I couldn't deny those words outright, because, even if just a little, I was aware of the facts.
As an abrupt moment of silence ensued, the faint sound of a steam whistle reached our ears. Looking downhill, we could see a ferry drawing lines of white-crested waves as it sailed on the Seto Inland Sea, the water surface glittering amid the setting sun.
The school we attend, Ohsakimishima High, was a public school famous for its rich natural charm.
Or rather, negatively speaking, a school in the sticks. If one were to look down from the school building on the low hill, they would be immediately met with a sight of the Seto Inland Sea. Then, the mountain. Then the plantations, paddy fields, rivers and reservoirs, with houses and stores here and there among them. Well, let's just say that sixty percent of the scenery was composed of water, trees, and soil.
But precisely because it was a town in the countryside, the local government was very active in their public activities. Take my school, which thoroughly provided guidance for students to either pursue higher education or seek employment, so that none of the graduates would be stuck fooling around purposelessly... However,
"You're the only one who still hasn't decided on anything yet, Miho. What're you going to do?"
"W, well..."
Even though it was already June, I still haven't decided whether to get a job or pursue higher education.
My Future Aspirations Questionnaire, left blank and in no state to be submitted, had been laying dormant in my bag for no less than two months now.
"Better choose soon. Hang around too long, and it'll be too late for either."
Chihiro said, with an annoyed expression.
"I know, I know. But it's not like I can make this kind of choice so easily..."
"Sure you can. You're academics is great, so how about going to uni together with us?"
"You say go to uni, but what will I be even doing there? Choosing a University without any vision for the future is just..."
"Gah, you serious serious serious serious serious serious little-!"
"Ouch ouch ouch!"
Chihiro slapped my forehead equal to the number of times she said 'serious'.
"Now then, be seated, Serious Specs."
She had me kick the bike stand down and sit on the saddle. Then pointed her index finger at me again.
"You listening, Miho? It'll be fine just choosing any uni you can get into. It's a place to go play around in anyway."
An absurd assertion, made with no shame whatsoever.
"Whoa- really? Uni isn't free, you know. Don't you feel any guilt towards your parents?"
"Gah, you Serious--"
"Ow-- Jeez, enough hitting already."
"C'mon, a girl won't find happiness acting all serious like that."
"What's up with that? It's not like I want to--"
"Now, now, no fighting, you two."
Sensing that the atmosphere was becoming uneasy, Mayu-chan came between us.
"C'mon, Mayu, say something to Serious Specs."
"Why me? I haven't said anything weird. Right, Mayu-chan?"
"Huh? Huh? Er, well..."
Now stuck in a dilemma from her attempt to divide us, Mayu-chan hesitatingly alternated her sight between me and Chihiro.
"Aren't you thinking too much into things, Miho-chan?"
She then said that, with a wry smile.
"Yay~ Mayu is on my side~!"
"No way, Mayu-chan..."
To think even Mayu-chan, who should have been on the side of seriousness, was now siding with Chihiro...
"Now, don't make that face, Miho-chan. I understand how you're feeling, of course."
Wait, what kind of face was I even making? And as for Mayu-chan, her face has gone slightly pale as she rubbed my upper arms.
"But you see, isn't it because you don't have any vision for the future that you go to a University? It opens up possibilities, and the academic background will surely give you an advantage when job searching."
"Ooh, good stuff. You're talking some good stuff there, Mayu."
Chihiro proudly pointed her finger at Mayu-chan.
"Possibility, huh..."
"If it's your future plans, you can still think about them after entering University."
Having said all that, Mayu-chan then took a seat on my bicycle's rear rack.
"...Hm~m."
Possibility. Since becoming a third-year student, I've been hearing that word so much that my ears could rot away.
"But wouldn't that just be postponing the decision making? It kind of feels like putting off thinking about it and choosing the easy road. Besides, if you're going to University to get a job, shouldn't you decide on the type of job first, then go to a uni that is good for that kind--"
"Gah-- Shut it! Don't say things I don't understand, Serious Specs!"
Although I don't think I've said anything that she can't comprehend, Chihiro suddenly started to shout and jumped on my bicycle's pedal. The stand was sprung up by the force, and the bicycle began its descent down the slope.
"What the-- What're you doing, Chihiro!"
All while Mayu-chan and I were still on the rear rack and saddle, respectively.
"This is dangerous! Stop the bike, Chihiro-chan!"
"Shaddup! Come, Mayu! We're fixin' her seriousness! Blast off~~!"
Maybe because she found amusement in our screams, Chihiro pedaled on even harder. The bicycle, with the three of us crammed on, rushed down the hill road with reckless speed.
"Too fast, too fast! Stop, Chihiro!"
"How's that, Serious Specter! Feel like leaving Miho's body now!?"
"Stop messing around and drop the speed! The bike's brake is weak! It won't turn the curve--"
Beyond the hill road's final curve, a reservoir awaited like a gaping mouth.
"What, you chicken? I'll show ya my perfect cornering!"
"Stop it! Chihiro, you idiot--!"
As the bicycle accelerated, the pond popped into view. Although I was looking straight at it, I thought I really shouldn't be doing that. As I shut my eyes, my body flew up. At the exact moment when I opened my eyes up again, a large body of water splashed into my field of vision,
"----!"
And before we could even raise any scream, we were already at the bottom of the muddy water.
Serious.
Since when did that word stop being a compliment?
I've had bad eyesight since I was little, so I've been wearing glasses everyday since I entered Elementary School. Apparently, there used to be a time when people held the assumption that [Glasses = Serious Academic Type], but nowadays, when they see grade schoolers wearing glasses, they would first assume that it's due to playing too much video games-- [Glasses = Lazy Gamer Otaku Type]. As if in opposition of such irrational judgement, I had chosen of my own accord to lead a life of diligence and seriousness. This talk goes way back to when I was in first grade.
However, it was quite surprising for me that, just as the image of glasses changes with passage of time, the meaning of the word 'serious' also changes with progress of my age. Up to the end of Elementary School, it was one of compliment and respect. When I got up to Middle School, it became a title that made me feel some sort of itch or pain. And now, in my third year of High School, it got turned into Serious Specs, a name representing some new type of demon.
And that lead to the ritual to exorcise said demon, which sent all three of us plunging into the reservoir, ending with me having to push my bicycle around while soaked from head to toe.
Why did I have to go through all that just because someone thinks my seriousness need fixing? I just don't get it. My seriousness... what's so wrong with it?
I dropped off my bicycle at the ferry dock's parking area and took a look around.
After confirming that no one is looking, I started to wring out the water from the edge of my skirt. One, two, three-- And just when I became less conscious of my surroundings and started to count four, a middle-aged man appeared from the waiting room. I panickingly closed my skirt and crouched down.
That was a close call. But my skirt hasn't stopped dripping yet. All I could do was give up, letting water drip down onto the asphalt as I made my way to the wharf.
There are two wharfs for boarding ships. One for ships sailing out to the open sea, the other for regular service ferries that sail the inland sea, making trips to and from the five Himekura Islands. A compact-sized ferry is docked along the regular service wharf, bathing in the evening sun as it waited for the time of departure. Near the vessel's bow, a seagull made what seemed to be a face of curiosity as it floated on the water. The Seto Inland Sea's waves are calm today, as with any other day.
"Hey, what's up with all the water, Miho? You jumped into the sea or what?"
Just as I boarded the ferry, my Dad, who was tending to the passengers on the deck, immediately saw what was out of ordinary.
"Uh, well... It's a long story. Lend me a towel, Dad."
"Here, use this."
Dad immediately responded, holding out the ragged cloth that was previously draped on his neck.
"Er, that's a bit..."
"What, can't share a towel with your old man? Kids these days... He~y, Kome-chan. Switch with me for a bit."
He could guess just from my wry smile, it seems. Dad shouted out to one of his co-workers smoking on the wharf's end, then opened the control room's fence with an 'Off Limits' sign on it and went inside.
"What's this, Miho-chan? Aren't you all soaked up? You fell into the sea or what?"
Komemoto-san, dressed in the same light blue crew uniform as Dad, grinned and snickered as he crossed the gangway. I have to wonder, do seamen think the sea is the only place that has water or something?
"He~y, Miho. You can use this, right? The seats will get all wet, so go up to the second floor."
Dad came back out of the control room and threw me a towel that had been curled into a ball from the other side of the fence.
"Thank...pfft--"
That was way too fast.
I picked up the towel that just hit my face and fell to the deck, wiping my hair with it regardless of the fact.
As much as I'd like to lean on the seats on the first floor, the captain himself was keeping watch right in front of me, so I reluctantly made my way up the metal stairs to the sightseeing seats.
Ten or so passengers are on the wind-swept deck of the second floor. A group of middle-aged tourists, with one Cameraman-ish middle-aged man gripping the railings while looking down at the wharf.
It's quite embarrassing, having the group of middle-aged tourists repeatedly glancing at me while soaked up like this. What's more, the thought that the Cameraman might have seen under my skirt a while ago is also super embarrassing. I distanced myself as far as possible from the Cameraman with the baseball cap, and sneakily sat myself down on a pipe bench. The middle-aged man enthusiastically overlooked the crew preparing to set sail, paying no mind to me at all.
It's intriguing. For me, all this is no more than some mundane scenery, but for him, it's a spectable that he can't afford to look away from even for a second. The middle-aged Cameraman never separated himself from that spot, at least not until the ferry started sailing off from the wharf, leaving trails of white-crested waves.
It takes twenty minutes by ferry from the mainland to the First Himekura Island, on which I was born and raised. In other words, it's an outlying island. Although it is the largest and most populated of the five Himekura Islands, the level of its educational institutions go up to only Middle School, causing me to have to commute to a High School on the mainland everyday via the transit ferry that Dad handles. The vessel comes around once per hour. If I were to miss a trip in the morning, then I'd be late for sure. But considering the island's population, the number of trips per day actually is quite generous.
[Dear Customers, thank you for utilizing the service of this Himekura Steam Ship today.]
As the ferry made its way past the breakwater and out of the gulf, the vessel's speakers started broadcasting the captain's usual announcements. Being who I am, I promptly clasped my hands together and offer a prayer to the god of the sea. Please, I beg of you, may today finally be the day Dad doesn't say anything unnecessary.
[This vessel will be making trips to the five Himekura Islands, and is scheduled to arrive at the First Himekura Island on 17:25. Furthermore, helming the vessel is myself, Kurahashi Taizou, forty-three years of age. I am currently shouldering the responsibility of the livelihood of my wife, my little daughter, and also my eldest daughter, the soaking wet one on the observation deck.]
...But the prayer was not heard today, as with any other day. The people on the observation deck are already bursting with laughter.
Dammit, Dad. And here I am, always telling you to stop fooling around on broadcast.
I hung my head down and endured the never-ending stream of chuckles from those on the sightseeing seats.
[Err-- Everyone, up ahead to the right is the Kamikura Island. It enshrines the Guardian Diety of the five Himekura Islands. And right next to it is the famous tourist spot, the Kendama Rock. Please, do enjoy the sight of the gods playing with the evening sun to your heart's content.]
Maybe Dad could actually sense this daughter's anger, as his broadcast has suddenly become normal. At the same time, one among the middle-aged tourist group excitedly pointed out to the sea, and the Cameraman has already started pressing his shutter.
...And this is when we were not even at the photo spot yet.
I raised my face up, seeing in the distance the Kendama Rock's tip hooking the orange evening sun.
The Kendama Rock. Official name: Inukura Island. An uninhabited island lying between the mainland and the First Island, it had been shaved by the Seto Inland Sea's highly fluctuating tides, resulting in its figure that resembles a cross, or the tip of a Kendama. Once per day, the evening sun representing the Kendama's ball lines up with the island's pointed end, completing the gods' play set. As the Prefecture has designated it as a tourist spot and is preserving it accordingly, and especially since the Five Himekura Islands doesn't have any other local specialty, we are all grateful of Guardian Diety for having provided us with a guaranteed increase in tourism revenue and ferry round trips.
The ferry went slightly off the shortest route between the mainland and the First Island, reducing its speed at the area where one can see the sun and the rock line up prefectly. Even with him having to make frequent adjustments on the helm, Dad has always been able to keep the original schedule. His skills and discipline from when he was a fisherman really aren't just for show.
I was able to admire the view for only a brief moment, before the nightmarish broadcast started on the speakers once again.
[Was it to your liking, Dear Customers? The Kendama Rock, pride and joy of Himekura. An island of the gods, a perfect fit for Enka. Please, do listen to your heart's content. Man of the Sea, by Ohtori Gorou.]
Dad? What are you doing, blasting music like you're some kind of DJ? Stop it, or else I'll really get mad at you.
But regardless of this daughter's worries, the intro of the quintessential Enka, so unfitting for a ship broadcast, has started playing on the speaker. And together with it came Dad's raspy, disharmonious voice,
[OH~~~ THE SEA~~~♪]
Why's he singing along? Seriously, karaoke? After blurting to everyone that I'm your daughter? This is the worst... Those chuckles and giggles around me are turning into full-blown laughter now. Enough already. Chihiro, Dad, every one of you... Why...
"Why can't you all take things more seriously!"
With the cry of my soul reaching no one, Dad's live karaoke entered the second song.
"I'm home."
As I opened the door, the aroma of miso drifted from the kitchen, calming down my irritation.
"Ah- welcome back, Sis."
Only for a brief moment, that is. The sight of my little sister lying around, reading a magazine in the living room just rubbed me the wrong way.
"Don't 'welcome back' me, Chiho. Aren't you supposed to be helping Mom?"
"Nah. I'm tired."
Chiho answered, while rolling around.
"You're in second grade, what's there to be tired of? C'mon, go help."
"Nah, I already helped out today."
"Of course you didn't. I'm getting angry, Chiho."
I pulled my little sister by the neck of her T-shirt.
"C- Can't breathe-- Stop it! Mo~m!"
"Now, now, what's with all the noise?"
Mom, who heard our voices, wiped her hands and came out of the kitchen.
"Mom, Sis's real angry--"
That instant, Chiho, who was just rooted onto the tatami mat, sprung up to her feet and coiled around Mom's waist. Seriously, this girl... Always the one to rope Mom to her side first.
"It's because you aren't helping with the chores, Chiho."
"Look, look. She's totally angry, Mom."
"Chiho!"
"Now, now, let's just stop right there. I don't need any help today. Just about wrapped up here."
C'mon, Mom... Why're you pampering Chiho so much? Wasn't it Chiho herself who proposed to help with the chores once a day?
"What's up with that face, Miho? Anyway, you better go take a shower soon. Oh yeah, you've got mail."
"Mail? For me?"
"From some kind of... association? Is it a fanclub or something?"
"No way, the Z-Kai documents are already here? Of course it's not a fanclub. Didn't I already tell you that it's a mail tutoring service? Where is it now?"
"Here."
Chiho passed me the magazine that she was reading earlier. Wait, no, it's not a magazine. It's a...
"A Z-Kai Pamphlet? Why'd you open it, Chiho?"
"Ehh~ Isn't it fine? It's not even a letter. And I was the one who took it from the mailbox."
"It's not fine at all, you idiot!"
I shouted and snatched the documents from her.
"Uwah, Sis is angry again--"
She cried out, life a fire being lit up spontaneously. There she goes again, thinking just crying will let her get away with it.
"Miho, don't yell at Chiho like that."
Mom glared at me while patting Chiho's head.
"Why not? Chiho is totally wrong here."
"Totally you, Sis."
"Enough of that."
Losing my patience, I dashed out of the living room.
"Wait, Miho--"
Mom called out for me to stop, but I ignored her, leaping up the creaky stairs. Swinging my room's door shut, I then tossed away my bag and threw myself onto the bed, half-dried uniform and all.
Idiot.
Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot.
I'm such an idiot.
Why'd I even call Chiho an idiot?
She did go out to get the mail. She did help with the chores. Although they aren't hers, calling her an idiot just for opening envelopes was just too much.
"Aah, jeez..."
I'm so sickened by my own attitude right now. Why? Why am I so annoyed at every little thing lately? Is it because I can't decide on a future goal? Is it because I was being made fun of for being serious?
[A girl won't find happiness acting all serious like that.]
Chihiro's words repeated in my head.
"It's not like I want to find happiness..."
That's the rest of what I was not able to say earlier. All I want is...
I lifted myself up from bed. Through the window's open curtains, I cast my eyes upon the sea that encompasses the Five Islands.
The evening sun illuminated the Kendama Rock. Dad's ferry sailed through the strait between the Second and Third Islands, leaving behind a trail of white-crested waves like a brush. The weather is nice and clear, with outlines of large tankers being visible on the distant horizon.
--I want to go far away.
The thought welled up in the depths of my mind.
I've seen numerous ships off from this very window. Dad's ferry, fishing boat, and even fleets departing to the open sea. Is that the reason? The reason for my longing for a distant place? Somewhere that is not where I am, but further away. Further than that ship drawing a line on the water surface, than the birds crossing the islands, than the sun setting under the horizon, than any place I can see from this window. I've always wanted to go somewhere far away.
...That should be the case, anyway. But right now, I can't even choose one of the paths presented right in front of me. Where is it that I actually want to go?
"Gotta wash... my uniform--"
I took off my damp school vest and unzipped my skirt.
To think I'm still worrying about the cleanliness of my uniform at a time like this... Quite unpleasant, if I say so myself. Anyhow, I'll go apologize to Chiho after this-- That was what I decided on when...
"Sis!"
My room's door suddenly swung open.
"Sorry for reading your mail stuff earlier..."
It's Chiho. She's standing at the door, hanging her head down.
...It's because of Mom, for sure. Mom must have given Chiho a warning. And to think she's coming to apologize while still drying her tears... She's so praiseworthy that I could hug her right about now, but,
"Didn't I always tell you to knock first, you idiot!"
As I was in my underwear, my anger got the better of me again.
"Miho. What's gotten into you lately?"
The dreaded question came up during dinnertime.
On the menu were grilled fish, boiled vegetables, tofu, and Himekura seaweed. An authentic Japanese-style evening meal of the Kurahashi household, with a faint sense of tension.
"Nothing. Well, I don't think there's anything?"
I feigned ignorance as I picked up a piece of grilled fish with my chopsticks, but...
"You seem to always be annoyed at things."
Mom saw through it all.
"Of couse not. Chiho, pass me the soy sauce."
"......"
"Chiho?"
"You're angry. Don't wanna."
"Chiho!"
"No more of that!"
Oh crap, Mom just put her chopsticks down on the table.
"...Sorry."
It was time to apologize. Although it had been wrung out with much reluctance, saying it did life some weight off my chest.
"I'm sorry too, Sis."
And why're you apologizing? Perhaps she thought Mom was angry at her as well, as she the soy sauce bottle out to me with teary eyes. I rubbed Chiho on her knees, and her body twitched in a ticklish expression.
"Listen to your Mom, Miho. I don't want you to say sorry. I want you to tell me."
Looking over us sisters, Mom picked her chopsticks back up.
"Tell what?"
"What's been troubling you?"
...Why go straight to that?
"Now, there's no way I won't know about this. You're just like your father. It's all written on your face."
"Wait a sec-- C'mon, stop saying weird stuff."
"Hey, what weird stuff, Miho? You don't like being similar to your true father?"
Dad, who had been silent up to this point, banged his emptied glass on the table. Totally drunk, totally noisy in speech and actions.
On morning shift days, Dad would start drinking immediately after he got home, ending up all intoxicated by the time everyone gets together for dinner. One might wonder how Dad, who is already quite noisy when sober, would be like when he's drunk,
"Ha~h, what a disgrace. And to think of all this time I've raised this girl-- This daughter whom I could even lend a brand new towel to-- And you're talking like that... Ha~h, what a disgrace. Makes me wanna jump into the sea."
Well, it's quite close to a nightmare.
"We get it, we get it. Just be quiet for a little while, will you?"
"Shaddup. You be quiet, Yukiko."
Mom poured shochu into the empty cup in an attempt to have him shut up, but having gained steam, Dad was unstoppable.
"Listen up... You're in High School. Worry all you want. You're still at the age to seriously worry about love or that stupid youth nonsense..."
Excuse me? Stupid? Nonsense? And your ferry broadcasts are also a source of worry, you know.
"Listen up, Miho. Worry. Worry while you still can. It's fine. Worry to the point that you think you might die, and good things will come to you. That's right, when I was in High School..."
Gah, this routine again. When Dad's drunk, he pretends to listen to the conversation, but he'd always end up taking over in rambling about stories of his past.
"Alright, alright, I'll make a write-up of your heroic saga some day. Right now I want to hear Miho's story. Now, say what you need to, Miho."
On the other hand, Mom is the one who would always listen to what I have to say. Really, I love her. I put my rice bowl down on the table and quietly arranged my chopsticks in front of it.
"To tell you the truth... It's about my future plans."
"Aren't you going to University? Using that-- what's it called... Red-Kai?"
"Z-Kai? I'm still undecided on it. I've been wondering, should I really be going on to University?"
"Huh?"
As I made up my mind and said what I said, both Mom and Dad had a look of confusion in their eyes.
"Should you, huh... What do you think, Dear?"
"Yhuh-? Uh- Sure."
They then turned to each other, exchanging a look that seemed to have some hidden significance.
"Now, Miho. If you're worried about money, we'll manage..."
"That's not it! The thing is, well... I've been wondering what I'll even be doing there. Chihiro and Mayu-chan were saying things like it's for playing around, or to just go in case that it'll open up some future possibilities. But is it really worth it for me to go just like that? Higher education is what decides my path in life to an extent. I can't just make that kind of decision without thinking things through first."
I hadn't intended to speak this much, but those words have been weighing on my mind so much that they all rushed out.
"Miho, you..."
Dad spoke up with a seemingly sober voice,
"You're really worried about some serious business there, huh..."
Then suddenly grabbed the TV remote and upped the volume by two ticks.
"What the-- Turn it off! Why're you even turning the volume up!?"
"Gah-- Don't know, don't care. When you said worry, I thought it'd be about a boy or your friends or all that jazz. This thing's some messy stuff. I'll leave it to your Mom. I got sports
news to catch-- Ooh, looks like Koshien preliminaries are starting already..."
"Dad!"
Ugh, unbelievable. Is high school baseball preliminaries that more important than your daughter's life counseling? Of course I absolutely don't want to be similar to you, baseball freak...
After Dad had to leave the deep sea fishing fleet due to deteriorating physical health, he suddenly got into high school baseball.
Although before the he would sneer and say things like, "I can't stand watching clumsy play like that," he was hooked after watching a game live once. Came home totally awakened to Koshien's charm, so to speak. His reasoning was that, unlike the professionals that play as much as 150 games a year, one's high school baseball can end with only one loss, giving every game an emotionally moving drama of youth to go along with them.
"Ooh, check this out, Chiho. It's a special featuring Hayami Commerce."
"Really? Is Kawakita-kun on?"
On a side note, Chiho has received gifted education since when she first became aware of her surroundings, making her grow up in exactly the way Dad wanted. Now, she's so into high school baseball that, even though it's completely unrelated to Elementary School, she can be hyped up by things like the infamous Monster Rookie of the Tokyo High School.
"Yup, Kawakita's coming up. Doesn't look like he's in good form though. Even with Ogawa coming back to complete the team's main pitching and batting pillars, they still can't get a called game. Having a tough time, looks like."
Dad acted up like some kind of specialist and stretched his neck.
...Huh, so Ogawa-kun's recovered from his injuries.
I look a glance at the TV. Oh well... with all my complaining, I guess it'd be pretty hard to not be influenced at all by this family of mine, so long as we live under the same roof...
"...Hey, Dad. Mind turning the volume up a bit more?"
I readjusted my glasses and turned to face the screen.
"Ooh, so you're interested after all eh, Miho? I know you do, I know you do..."
Dad happily obliged, picking up the remote.
"What, is the life counseling session over already? Seriously, like father, like children..."
Pretending to not hear Mom's inexcusable remark for just this one time, I focused all my concentration on the TV screen.
And then, I really could not hear anything.
My consciousness was grasped in place.
The sounds stagnated, the visuals faltered. No voice entered my ears-- Not the announcer's, not Dad's, not Mom's, not Chiho's. No one else entered the focus of my eyes-- Not Kawakita-kun, not Ogawa-kun.
All of my consciousness was in one place-- Or rather, one person-- Even when the screen switched to other things, that one same scene repeated in my head.
"Miho? You alright?"
Before Mom shook me by the shoulder, I had momentarily forgotten where I even was.
Later that night, I couldn't sleep.
The usually drowsiness-inducing sound of the waves stuck to my ears. This is the first time I've had this feeling. A strange sensation, like a thin layer, wrapped around my body. I sighed and turned over and over. One, two, three, four-- And when the count reached five, I quietly slipped out of bed.
I opened the curtain, revealing the full moon that drew a path of light on the sea of the Five Islands. Contrasting the sea was the Kendama Rock's silhouette in pitch black.
Why does my heart feel so flustered?
The news wasn't even anything unusual.
The Koshien regular team with an Ace player in tow, grasping total victory when faced with a public school team in the first game. The kind of match that happens throughout Japan during each year's preliminaries. Yet it's making me feel a burning sensation in my chest.
...I wonder, why did he have that look in his eyes?
That public high school's pitcher, whose name wasn't even introduced.
Although his pitches were hit countless times by the geniuses of the champ-level school, he persistently pitched on, avoiding at least having the game called off by the mercy rule.
That level of achievement should have been enough as something his team can be fully proud of. So why did he have that look in his eyes? The look of being in a fervent pursuit of something. The look of desperate longing.
When it comes to baseball, I tend to naturally watch them in the perspective of the pitcher, regardless of the team. That's simply because the pitchers are the ones that get the most screentime. Each of those pitchers, whom I've fought together with up to now, approached their batters with a myriad of emotions. Anger, joy, sorrow, regret, fear, excitement.
And then there's him. The fiery emotion in his eyes was completely different from all that I've felt before. When one of the lower-ranking batter hit a homerun, when the #4 batter hit three of his pitches, and even when he narrowly held on when the game was about to be called off by the mercy rule for the seventh time, the fiery emotion of his never faltered. It burned on in silence, as if he was constantly in search of something far away, something completely unrelated to the competition at hand.
That's right, he's searching for something. By himself, all alone. With all his strength.
I can feel it in my chest, burning hotter and hotter.
The ceaseless roar of the waves resounded in my ears, as if they were inviting me to the open sea.
The next morning...
"Nhuh--? What's this, Miho? You're up way earlier than usual."
As I slid open the living room's door, Dad, who was about to spread the newspaper open on the dining table, looked up with an expression of surprise on his face.
"Ah, is it that-- You want to have breakfast with me, eh? I know you do, I know you do. He~y, Yukiko. Get some breakfast for Miho."
As usual, Dad is jumping to conclusions without hearing what I have to say.
"You're up early today, Miho. Did something happen? Wait, don't tell me you couldn't sleep?"
Mom detected my abnormalities right when she came out of the kitchen. Without a moment's delay, I held out the color-printed pamphlet in my hands to her.
"Ah, this... The mail tutoring service thing? If you want to sign up, then sure, why not? Oh, by the way, Mayu-chan's Mother just called. Said Mayu-chan caught a cold and won't be going to school today. Did something happen yesterday?"
"......"
"Miho?"
As Mom looked at me right in the face, I gritted my teeth.
If I'm going to say it, I must start from the very beginning. If any other word were to come in between, I'd not be able to say it anymore. I can still feel the burning in my chest. I've waited till morning without sleep to avoid the risk of the heat fading away.
If I'm going to say it, I must start from the very beginning. Taking a deep breath, I visualized the faint ember which that boy had given to me bursting into a great fire.
"Mom. I wanna go to a University in Tokyo."
"Huh?"
Mom, about to turn over the pamphlet, stopped her hands.
"Tokyo?"
Dad, in the middle of stirring the miso soup, also stopped his hand.
"I want to go to a University in Tokyo, study language, go study abroad, and then someday, I'll find work overseas."
I was the only one who didn't stop.
"Wait, wait-- Hold it right there, Miho. You can't just bring that up all of a sudden."
Of course it's not sudden. I've been thinking about it all this time. I've always, always longed for it. But at the same time, I've feared it. It's not that I was not able to decide on a path for my future. Rather, I was too scared to make the decision. With all the serious front I put up, I was just scared, plain and simple.
"Please. Dad, Mom."
I want to go somewhere far away, too. Like Dad, and like they boy. I want to go as far as I can, with my own abilities, with all my strength.
"Sure, why not?"
Mom quietly folded the pamphlet.
"Hey, Yukiko--"
"No way. For real? You mean it, Mom?"
Mom smiled as I restlessly asked for her confirmation.
"But it has to be a public university, alright? We don't have the money for a private one."
"Yes--!"
I threw my hands up in the air and jumped in joy. Unbelievable. I thought Mom would be the first to object to it.
"Thank you! Dad, Mom!"
"Hold it, Miho. I still..."
"Yay! Ya~y!"
So this is what it feels like to get carried away... Right off the ground! Of course I couldn't keep myself grounded, not with me being this hyped up.
"Gah~~ So noisy~~"
But looks like I was a bit too excited there. Chiho walked in on us, still rubbing her eyes.
"Tokyo, Chiho! Your Big Sis is going to Tokyo!"
I took Chiho by her hands and exclaimed in an especially loud voice.
"Eh-- Right now? I'm going too!"
"Not now, of course. Now, go back to sleep."
"And you're the one who woke me up, Sis."
"Sorry, sorry. Now go on, kids should be sleeping~~"
I carried the drowsy Chiho's delicate frame in my arms, bringing back to her bedroom.
"Na~w, don't get into my futon!"
I slipped into the still-warm futon together with Chiho, who totally dislikes people getting in the same bed as her.
"Hey, Yukiko. You really think it's fine? It's Tokyo, you know. Tokyo. Do you even..."
While frolicking with my little sister in her futon, I could faintly hear Mom and Dad's voices coming from the living room. I raised a finger to keep Chiho quiet and strained my ears.
"What, you're saying that now? Didn't you leave dealing with Miho's worries up to me?"
"I know, I know... But still..."
"Now, you've gone all the way to the Indian Ocean. Don't make such a big fuss about going to just Tokyo."
When it's only those two together, Dad would always be the one losing to Mom in a conversation. Giggles leaked out of Chiho's lips which my finger sealed off.
"I knew she'd be saying something like that one of these days. She's so similar to you, after all."
Mom's voice of strained laughter entered my ears, filling up my chest with a feeling of determination. The resolute flame burns bright, singeing the edges of my heart.
"...Sis?"
Perhaps sensing something by intuition, Chiho held on to my wrist.
Chapter 1 Complete
