I slowly got up, and leaned against the bed whilst taking care not to lie on my wound. I shifted my gaze from the ceiling to the wooden door, and then to the window.
Looking outside, I saw that the sky was already dark, even though it was still bright out when I just awoke. Looks like it has been a full day since I’ve been routed by Meng De.
I wonder if Meng De has sent any men to search for my whereabouts, and how Yun Chang and Yi De are right now.
Try as I might, I couldn’t stop thinking about these problems.
“Some wine?” Just then, Zi Long, who had taken off her plate and was now wearing a set of clean white clothing, came over with 2 jugs of wine and gestured for me to take 1, “One should drink when one is wounded.”
“Ah, oh, thanks.” Wounded huh… Indeed, I have been wounded quite badly. Both physically and emotionally.
I took a swig as I received the jug. This wine was not too strong and rather sweet unlike wine in Xuchang.
Just like in Zhuo county.
“Zi Long, I…”
“No need to say anything, Xuan De. From the rumours floating in the city, I more or less understand what happened.” She pressed her finger softly on my lips as she smiled kindly, “Losing under those circumstances is something that can’t be helped and you are not to blame whatsoever. There was no strategy or tactic that would have allowed you to overcome the numerical disadvantage.”
Looks like Zi Long’s tongue is as sharp as always. I know she’s trying to comfort me but they cut to the bone. Nevertheless, I can’t deny what she said.
“… Speaking of which, why is Zi Long here? Shouldn’t you be in Beiping with Bo Gui?”
“Ah… That huh.” Zi Long replied and took a sip as she looked out the window before continuing, “I’ve buried my lord outside Beiping city.”
Eh?
“… Un, that’s how it is.” Zi Long added as she played with the jug in her hands.
It was obvious that she was putting on a show of nonchalance because of my expression of disbelief.
Bo Gui is dead? Just like that? I know what Gongsun Zan’s fate was in history but I didn’t think she would really…
Hehehe… It only seemed like yesterday that she gave me that silly laugh.
“… How did Bo Gui…”
“My lord and Yuan Shao had a disagreement and it eventually got to the stage where Beiping city was in danger. My lord could have escaped with me but she chose to stay and protect her younger siblings who were too young to survive a harsh escape.” She said calmly, and took another sip, “The disparity in strength was too great and the outcome was just as predicted.”
I wasn’t at the scene, nor have I heard all the details, but I can clearly see the girl with the silly smile and an upright heart in her last moments. Outnumbered she may have been, she still greeted death resolutely.
She died a death fitting of her status as a hero belonging to this era.
But why is it, why can’t I cry for Bo Gui even though she’s my good friend and even though I feel so sad? Why can’t I think of vengeance for her?
Have I grown numb to this era? Or have I accepted the inevitability of death for all?
I really am disgusted at how I’ve become.
“Zi Long doesn’t seem sad at all.” I said as I looked at Zi Long, who was drinking calmly, and asked, “You didn’t stay with Bo Gui until the very end?”
“Un, I didn’t. If it were up to me, I would never have let me lord die there and then.”
“That’s right.” I smiled with difficulty.
“But my lord chose to stay because the city were her roots. She felt that if she lost Beiping city and her family there, she would have lost everything.” Zi Long said as she placed the jug down on the table and sat on the other side of the bed, “I respect her choice. But really, even until the very end, it seems like my lord isn’t cut out for greater things after all.”
Zi Long laughed stiffly after she finished.
…
I smiled kindly at Zi Long, “You may say that, but you’re actually grieving aren’t you?”
“Am I?” She was surprised and hurriedly felt her white, clean face.
“Ah,” I pointed at Zi Long’s silver plate hanging at the side, “You’ve been wearing your silver plate since you left Beiping city right?”
— This plate armour was forced on me by my lord who likes it for some reason.
… I still remember what Zi Long said a while ago before the attack on Sishui Pass. Looking at the silver plate which was still shiny as new despite being covered with scratches all over, this plate armour probably symbolises Zi Long’s loyalty to Gongsun Zan.
Zi Long lowered her head and curled up a bit. Her smile from before also seemed to be a lot more lonely.
“Perhaps, but I still respect her choice. … Alright, let’s stop talking about unhappy things. Let’s go into business now that Xuan De is awake.” Zi Long flicked her long, golden hair as she got up and turned to look at me, “I am here under the last order of my former lord Gongsun Zan to serve Liu Bei, Governor of Yu state.”
Eh? Last order? Before I could even react, she knelt on one knee. This act shocked me and I hurriedly got up to help her up but my reaction was much slower than usual due to the pain in my back.
“What are you doing, Zi Long~~~ Ah, it hurts.” I helped Zi Long up with one hand and saw that she was smiling widely at me, “You’re making fun of me!”
She waved her hands. “How could I be making fun of you~ I just thought back to what my lord said just before I left her. Now that I think about it, it really is a pity that she didn’t come along with me.
“?” What exactly did Bo Gui say? “Never mind… So did Zi Long come to Ye city to find me?”
“Un, you can say that. I was planning on heading to Xu state but I didn’t think Cao Cao’s attack would be this quick.” Zi Long took the jug of wine on the table and rubbed her hands on it, “But it all worked out anyway, since I ended up being able to meet you here.”
“Worked out huh…” That’s right, if it weren’t for Zi Long, I would be rotting in the wilderness by now. No matter what, I should thank her first, “Zi Long, thank you for saving me.”
“Eh? Ah, n, no need for thanks.” She seemed to be at a loss due to my sudden thanks, and hurriedly turned her face away as she took a sip of wine.
Looks like between her sharp tongue and her slightly withdrawn nature, she isn’t too used to praise and thanks. But it’s this that makes Zi Long cute.
“Then, from now on, Xuan De is my lord.”
“Eh?” I swallowed my wine and looked at Zi Long’s beautiful smile before smiling in return, “Un, if you’re fine with me. I look forward to working with you.”
Zi Long’s eyes were really pretty when she smiled, “Of course I’m fine with Xuan De who is always so kind!”
Un… To think she actually said such a thing out loud… This really makes me feel embarrassed. I felt my face heat up and hurriedly turned away and looked outside the window.
Bo Gui, as you wished, you can leave Zi Long to me.
I have a lot of things to complain to you but looks like I don’t have a chance to speak with you anymore. When I finally have the time, I’ll go visit your grave and I’ll tell you everything I want to tell you.
“Hu… Looks like the tension is finally gone,” ZI long said as she placed her hand on her chest, “Alright, let’s sleep.” Zi Long finished her wine and set the jug on the table as she said so.
“That’s right, it’s already pretty late. Go and sleep, Zi Long.”
“Un? What are you saying, my lord?” Zi Long said as she pointed at the bed I was lying in, “I only rented one room with one best.”
“Eh?”
“I slept on the floor yesterday to let you rest but you wouldn’t possibly be planning on having me do ao again tonight right?”
“Ah… Th, then I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“No, you’re wounded.”
“… Then what you mean is–”
“Hm hm,” Zi Long gave an evil laugh as she looked at the terrified me, and said the words I didn’t want to hear most, “We’re sleeping together of course.”
I slowly got up, and leaned against the bed whilst taking care not to lie on my wound. I shifted my gaze from the ceiling to the wooden door, and then to the window.
Looking outside, I saw that the sky was already dark, even though it was still bright out when I just awoke. Looks like it has been a full day since I’ve been routed by Meng De.
I wonder if Meng De has sent any men to search for my whereabouts, and how Yun Chang and Yi De are right now.
Try as I might, I couldn’t stop thinking about these problems.
“Some wine?” Just then, Zi Long, who had taken off her plate and was now wearing a set of clean white clothing, came over with 2 jugs of wine and gestured for me to take 1, “One should drink when one is wounded.”
“Ah, oh, thanks.” Wounded huh… Indeed, I have been wounded quite badly. Both physically and emotionally.
I took a swig as I received the jug. This wine was not too strong and rather sweet unlike wine in Xuchang.
Just like in Zhuo county.
“Zi Long, I…”
“No need to say anything, Xuan De. From the rumours floating in the city, I more or less understand what happened.” She pressed her finger softly on my lips as she smiled kindly, “Losing under those circumstances is something that can’t be helped and you are not to blame whatsoever. There was no strategy or tactic that would have allowed you to overcome the numerical disadvantage.”
Looks like Zi Long’s tongue is as sharp as always. I know she’s trying to comfort me but they cut to the bone. Nevertheless, I can’t deny what she said.
“… Speaking of which, why is Zi Long here? Shouldn’t you be in Beiping with Bo Gui?”
“Ah… That huh.” Zi Long replied and took a sip as she looked out the window before continuing, “I’ve buried my lord outside Beiping city.”
Eh?
“… Un, that’s how it is.” Zi Long added as she played with the jug in her hands.
It was obvious that she was putting on a show of nonchalance because of my expression of disbelief.
Bo Gui is dead? Just like that? I know what Gongsun Zan’s fate was in history but I didn’t think she would really…
Hehehe… It only seemed like yesterday that she gave me that silly laugh.
“… How did Bo Gui…”
“My lord and Yuan Shao had a disagreement and it eventually got to the stage where Beiping city was in danger. My lord could have escaped with me but she chose to stay and protect her younger siblings who were too young to survive a harsh escape.” She said calmly, and took another sip, “The disparity in strength was too great and the outcome was just as predicted.”
I wasn’t at the scene, nor have I heard all the details, but I can clearly see the girl with the silly smile and an upright heart in her last moments. Outnumbered she may have been, she still greeted death resolutely.
She died a death fitting of her status as a hero belonging to this era.
But why is it, why can’t I cry for Bo Gui even though she’s my good friend and even though I feel so sad? Why can’t I think of vengeance for her?
Have I grown numb to this era? Or have I accepted the inevitability of death for all?
I really am disgusted at how I’ve become.
“Zi Long doesn’t seem sad at all.” I said as I looked at Zi Long, who was drinking calmly, and asked, “You didn’t stay with Bo Gui until the very end?”
“Un, I didn’t. If it were up to me, I would never have let me lord die there and then.”
“That’s right.” I smiled with difficulty.
“But my lord chose to stay because the city were her roots. She felt that if she lost Beiping city and her family there, she would have lost everything.” Zi Long said as she placed the jug down on the table and sat on the other side of the bed, “I respect her choice. But really, even until the very end, it seems like my lord isn’t cut out for greater things after all.”
Zi Long laughed stiffly after she finished.
…
I smiled kindly at Zi Long, “You may say that, but you’re actually grieving aren’t you?”
“Am I?” She was surprised and hurriedly felt her white, clean face.
“Ah,” I pointed at Zi Long’s silver plate hanging at the side, “You’ve been wearing your silver plate since you left Beiping city right?”
— This plate armour was forced on me by my lord who likes it for some reason.
… I still remember what Zi Long said a while ago before the attack on Sishui Pass. Looking at the silver plate which was still shiny as new despite being covered with scratches all over, this plate armour probably symbolises Zi Long’s loyalty to Gongsun Zan.
Zi Long lowered her head and curled up a bit. Her smile from before also seemed to be a lot more lonely.
“Perhaps, but I still respect her choice. … Alright, let’s stop talking about unhappy things. Let’s go into business now that Xuan De is awake.” Zi Long flicked her long, golden hair as she got up and turned to look at me, “I am here under the last order of my former lord Gongsun Zan to serve Liu Bei, Governor of Yu state.”
Eh? Last order? Before I could even react, she knelt on one knee. This act shocked me and I hurriedly got up to help her up but my reaction was much slower than usual due to the pain in my back.
“What are you doing, Zi Long~~~ Ah, it hurts.” I helped Zi Long up with one hand and saw that she was smiling widely at me, “You’re making fun of me!”
She waved her hands. “How could I be making fun of you~ I just thought back to what my lord said just before I left her. Now that I think about it, it really is a pity that she didn’t come along with me.
“?” What exactly did Bo Gui say? “Never mind… So did Zi Long come to Ye city to find me?”
“Un, you can say that. I was planning on heading to Xu state but I didn’t think Cao Cao’s attack would be this quick.” Zi Long took the jug of wine on the table and rubbed her hands on it, “But it all worked out anyway, since I ended up being able to meet you here.”
“Worked out huh…” That’s right, if it weren’t for Zi Long, I would be rotting in the wilderness by now. No matter what, I should thank her first, “Zi Long, thank you for saving me.”
“Eh? Ah, n, no need for thanks.” She seemed to be at a loss due to my sudden thanks, and hurriedly turned her face away as she took a sip of wine.
Looks like between her sharp tongue and her slightly withdrawn nature, she isn’t too used to praise and thanks. But it’s this that makes Zi Long cute.
“Then, from now on, Xuan De is my lord.”
“Eh?” I swallowed my wine and looked at Zi Long’s beautiful smile before smiling in return, “Un, if you’re fine with me. I look forward to working with you.”
Zi Long’s eyes were really pretty when she smiled, “Of course I’m fine with Xuan De who is always so kind!”
Un… To think she actually said such a thing out loud… This really makes me feel embarrassed. I felt my face heat up and hurriedly turned away and looked outside the window.
Bo Gui, as you wished, you can leave Zi Long to me.
I have a lot of things to complain to you but looks like I don’t have a chance to speak with you anymore. When I finally have the time, I’ll go visit your grave and I’ll tell you everything I want to tell you.
“Hu… Looks like the tension is finally gone,” ZI long said as she placed her hand on her chest, “Alright, let’s sleep.” Zi Long finished her wine and set the jug on the table as she said so.
“That’s right, it’s already pretty late. Go and sleep, Zi Long.”
“Un? What are you saying, my lord?” Zi Long said as she pointed at the bed I was lying in, “I only rented one room with one best.”
“Eh?”
“I slept on the floor yesterday to let you rest but you wouldn’t possibly be planning on having me do ao again tonight right?”
“Ah… Th, then I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“No, you’re wounded.”
“… Then what you mean is–”
“Hm hm,” Zi Long gave an evil laugh as she looked at the terrified me, and said the words I didn’t want to hear most, “We’re sleeping together of course.”
