I sounded crazy even to myself.
After a short silence, the priestess answered awkwardly, “A different… world?”
Because her eyes were covered, I couldn’t really tell how she felt about my comment. However, I knew she found it strange.
This wasn’t going as well as I hoped.
I wanted to cover my face in embarrassment but couldn’t. I had to pretend I meant what I said. I tried to continue calmly.
Beside me, Lucretius took a shaky breath. He was laughing at me!
Bastard!
I would get him later, but right now, I had to do this.
“Yes. I heard you can hear the god’s voice.”
“Well…”
The priestess laughed mysteriously and touched her lips.
Her reaction to this conversation was veiled. I couldn’t tell at all what she was thinking.
The only thing I could do was to continue, “Has the god ever told you about an existence of a different world?”
“…”
She gave me a blank smile. She thought for a few seconds before replying to me.
“I am only an unworthy messenger, and, therefore, do not know everything… But based on what I am hearing right now, it sounds like your highness is certain of an existence of a different world… Am I correct?”
“…”
Was she really blind? Perhaps, she had the “sight” of some kind?
I tried to figure it out but gave up quickly. It didn’t matter.
I got back to the topic at hand.
“Yes, I believe in it.”
Lucretius looked at me in surprise. He obviously didn’t think I would be this straightforward.
I had no choice. If I wanted to find out the answer, I had to be frank.
“Actually, what I meant to say is, I know it. I know it exists.”
There was no going back. This was it.
I added firmly, “I know it because I myself came from a different world.”
***
An uncomfortable silence fell.
The priestess continued to stare at me blankly. At least, I thought she was looking at me.
I took a deep breath. Now I had to wait. The ball was in her court.
She just looked at me quietly.
“…”
“…”
The silence began to feel unpleasant.
My brain was spinning. I guessed the priestess was thinking hard as well.
After a while, I couldn’t take it anymore. When I was just about to say something, Lucretius opened his mouth.
“She is telling the truth. I give you my word.”
His big hand covered my own as if to protect me. I could feel my face turning red.
This wasn’t the time to be romantic, you idiot!
I wanted to scream at him, but I obviously couldn’t.
Just then, the priestess finally replied, “A different world… And your highness came from it… I don’t know if that can be true.”
I felt like someone punched me.
“Are you… saying you don’t believe me?”
The priestess shook her head.
“It just means there are a lot of things I don’t know or understand. I admit based on what I heard about you, your highness has a different appearance than any of us. However, this only means there may be a kingdom somewhere in this world with people like you, and I am not aware of it.”
I felt like my throat was burning. My tongue felt stiff.
“I am not asking you about this because I want some kind of political help from you.”
I stood up. Lucretius seemed surprised as he tried to stop me, but I avoided him and walked to the priestess.
“I heard that the god reaches out to you, priestess. That means you are the only one who can answer my question.”
“…”
“Do you… really not know of another world? Did your god not tell you anything about it?”
I got closer to her, close enough to cling to her. I was desperate.
However, what the priestess told me was despairing.
“I have never actually heard god’s voice, so I do not know.”
I felt betrayed. I became angry.
“What? But… You are the priestess! You’re supposed to hear god’s voice and create miracles!”
Why couldn’t I have a miracle of my own?!
Of all the people in this world, I needed a miracle.
I couldn’t help but sound frantic, but the priestess replied to me evenly, “Ever since I was born, people have revered me as the priestess who could hear god, but I have never actually heard or saw god. Like I told you, I am just a normal person like you and his highness.”
“But…”
“I am not a daughter of god and I cannot make miracles happen. I can’t even be sure if god actually exists.”
The last of my hope disintegrated.
My only hope.
The most powerful and influential emperor Lucretius couldn’t help me personally. The only thing he could do was to introduce me to the one person who may could help.
That person just told me she couldn’t do it.
My legs suddenly felt weak. Just when I was about to fall, I heard Lucretius call out my name.
“Bina!”
I wanted to deny it. It was hopeless now.
Just when I was about to fall into a deep despair, the priestess held out her hands to support me.
Beautiful long fingers. They felt smooth and warm. It felt like a slap in my face.
They were human fingers, just like mine. She was just a normal woman. She couldn’t help me.
I tried to push her away, but she was stronger than me.
She refused to let me go.
“Can I confirm something?”
“Confirm what?”
“I realize this may sound rude, so I apologize in advance.”
The priestess paused before continuing.
“Could I see your past? Your memories?”
“Pardon?!”
My past? My memories? She wanted me to allow her to see them?
I couldn’t understand her request. How would she be able to see them?
When I looked at her blankly, she smiled awkwardly and explained, “Without your permission and your belief, I cannot see it, but if you open your mind to me, then I can. Its all because I have the ability to ‘see’ into people’s memories.”
If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t have believed it, except this was the priestess.
However, didn’t she just say she wasn’t even sure of the existence of god?
I couldn’t understand her logic.
“Didn’t you just say there are no god or another world?”
She smiled kindly and replied, “I said I didn’t know. I didn’t say they didn’t exist for sure.”
“I…!”
“Like I said, I haven’t seen god, and I do not perform miracles. That is why I told you that I simply don’t know. However, I know enough that just because I haven’t seen them doesn’t mean they don’t exist. One thing I can do is to read your memories. It is possible, and after I read them, I will be able to tell if you are telling the truth.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me this in the first place?! Why…!”
Why did she squash my hope so cruelly?
She apologized, “I’m sorry, it’s a bad habit of mine. Everyone asks me about the existence of god and miracles. Every time, I try to be careful not to make definite statements.”
“…”
“I have to be very careful of every word I say, because different people would interpret it differently. Often times, people only hear what they want. Many also take my words as direct messages from god. Because of my position, I am just used to being vague.”
She patted my hands gently.
I smiled and asked, “So it’s an occupational hazard?”
She laughed and replied, “That’s a funny way of putting it, but it’s true.” Then, she asked again, “Now, can I see your past?”
I sounded crazy even to myself.
After a short silence, the priestess answered awkwardly, “A different… world?”
Because her eyes were covered, I couldn’t really tell how she felt about my comment. However, I knew she found it strange.
This wasn’t going as well as I hoped.
I wanted to cover my face in embarrassment but couldn’t. I had to pretend I meant what I said. I tried to continue calmly.
Beside me, Lucretius took a shaky breath. He was laughing at me!
Bastard!
I would get him later, but right now, I had to do this.
“Yes. I heard you can hear the god’s voice.”
“Well…”
The priestess laughed mysteriously and touched her lips.
Her reaction to this conversation was veiled. I couldn’t tell at all what she was thinking.
The only thing I could do was to continue, “Has the god ever told you about an existence of a different world?”
“…”
She gave me a blank smile. She thought for a few seconds before replying to me.
“I am only an unworthy messenger, and, therefore, do not know everything… But based on what I am hearing right now, it sounds like your highness is certain of an existence of a different world… Am I correct?”
“…”
Was she really blind? Perhaps, she had the “sight” of some kind?
I tried to figure it out but gave up quickly. It didn’t matter.
I got back to the topic at hand.
“Yes, I believe in it.”
Lucretius looked at me in surprise. He obviously didn’t think I would be this straightforward.
I had no choice. If I wanted to find out the answer, I had to be frank.
“Actually, what I meant to say is, I know it. I know it exists.”
There was no going back. This was it.
I added firmly, “I know it because I myself came from a different world.”
***
An uncomfortable silence fell.
The priestess continued to stare at me blankly. At least, I thought she was looking at me.
I took a deep breath. Now I had to wait. The ball was in her court.
She just looked at me quietly.
“…”
“…”
The silence began to feel unpleasant.
My brain was spinning. I guessed the priestess was thinking hard as well.
After a while, I couldn’t take it anymore. When I was just about to say something, Lucretius opened his mouth.
“She is telling the truth. I give you my word.”
His big hand covered my own as if to protect me. I could feel my face turning red.
This wasn’t the time to be romantic, you idiot!
I wanted to scream at him, but I obviously couldn’t.
Just then, the priestess finally replied, “A different world… And your highness came from it… I don’t know if that can be true.”
I felt like someone punched me.
“Are you… saying you don’t believe me?”
The priestess shook her head.
“It just means there are a lot of things I don’t know or understand. I admit based on what I heard about you, your highness has a different appearance than any of us. However, this only means there may be a kingdom somewhere in this world with people like you, and I am not aware of it.”
I felt like my throat was burning. My tongue felt stiff.
“I am not asking you about this because I want some kind of political help from you.”
I stood up. Lucretius seemed surprised as he tried to stop me, but I avoided him and walked to the priestess.
“I heard that the god reaches out to you, priestess. That means you are the only one who can answer my question.”
“…”
“Do you… really not know of another world? Did your god not tell you anything about it?”
I got closer to her, close enough to cling to her. I was desperate.
However, what the priestess told me was despairing.
“I have never actually heard god’s voice, so I do not know.”
I felt betrayed. I became angry.
“What? But… You are the priestess! You’re supposed to hear god’s voice and create miracles!”
Why couldn’t I have a miracle of my own?!
Of all the people in this world, I needed a miracle.
I couldn’t help but sound frantic, but the priestess replied to me evenly, “Ever since I was born, people have revered me as the priestess who could hear god, but I have never actually heard or saw god. Like I told you, I am just a normal person like you and his highness.”
“But…”
“I am not a daughter of god and I cannot make miracles happen. I can’t even be sure if god actually exists.”
The last of my hope disintegrated.
My only hope.
The most powerful and influential emperor Lucretius couldn’t help me personally. The only thing he could do was to introduce me to the one person who may could help.
That person just told me she couldn’t do it.
My legs suddenly felt weak. Just when I was about to fall, I heard Lucretius call out my name.
“Bina!”
I wanted to deny it. It was hopeless now.
Just when I was about to fall into a deep despair, the priestess held out her hands to support me.
Beautiful long fingers. They felt smooth and warm. It felt like a slap in my face.
They were human fingers, just like mine. She was just a normal woman. She couldn’t help me.
I tried to push her away, but she was stronger than me.
She refused to let me go.
“Can I confirm something?”
“Confirm what?”
“I realize this may sound rude, so I apologize in advance.”
The priestess paused before continuing.
“Could I see your past? Your memories?”
“Pardon?!”
My past? My memories? She wanted me to allow her to see them?
I couldn’t understand her request. How would she be able to see them?
When I looked at her blankly, she smiled awkwardly and explained, “Without your permission and your belief, I cannot see it, but if you open your mind to me, then I can. Its all because I have the ability to ‘see’ into people’s memories.”
If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t have believed it, except this was the priestess.
However, didn’t she just say she wasn’t even sure of the existence of god?
I couldn’t understand her logic.
“Didn’t you just say there are no god or another world?”
She smiled kindly and replied, “I said I didn’t know. I didn’t say they didn’t exist for sure.”
“I…!”
“Like I said, I haven’t seen god, and I do not perform miracles. That is why I told you that I simply don’t know. However, I know enough that just because I haven’t seen them doesn’t mean they don’t exist. One thing I can do is to read your memories. It is possible, and after I read them, I will be able to tell if you are telling the truth.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me this in the first place?! Why…!”
Why did she squash my hope so cruelly?
She apologized, “I’m sorry, it’s a bad habit of mine. Everyone asks me about the existence of god and miracles. Every time, I try to be careful not to make definite statements.”
“…”
“I have to be very careful of every word I say, because different people would interpret it differently. Often times, people only hear what they want. Many also take my words as direct messages from god. Because of my position, I am just used to being vague.”
She patted my hands gently.
I smiled and asked, “So it’s an occupational hazard?”
She laughed and replied, “That’s a funny way of putting it, but it’s true.” Then, she asked again, “Now, can I see your past?”
