Gomen ne, Oniisama Chapter 3 part 3
The Villain’s Anger, and the Man Who Collapsed
As I allowed my tears to flow freely, I hid myself at the base of a tree to rest for a moment.
Fatigue is visible on Atlas’s face, but he still shows no signs of giving up.
With all my tears emptied, and my heart finally calmed down, I remembered the words I had spoken.
Although Atlas must have been in pain from the death of his father, I forced him to speak of it and reopen the wound.
I’m the one who caused him this pain.
As I opened my mouth to apologize, a quiet voice reached my ear.
“Is your mana level ok?”
I realized that I had forgotten to pay attention to my own condition, and closed my eyes.
I could barely feel the slow flow of magical power within my bloodstream.
While examining my magical power, I even felt a crack in my【Vessel】- perhaps caused by forced use while in extreme conditions.
In the novel, the only time the Princess of the Inferno was forced to this state was when facing the hero.
―If I continue to use magic in my current condition, my life might run out before I meet Gil-sama again.
When I opened my eyes and gently shook my head, Atlas made a displeased expression and took off the bag that was tied to his back.
There were some dried goods and medicinal herbs in the thin bag, but what he pulled out without any hesitation was a small bottle.
It’s full of an uncountable number of pills.
I had to hold it up to the moon so I could see them properly, collecting the light reflecting off the glass and sparkling with a dull silver-white.
I’ve never used them. But, this…
“This…”
“It’s a souvenir from Gil.”
A medicine held by soldiers for emergency situations, that I never had the need for.
However, I believe Keika has used it several times.
A miraculous drug that rapidly recovers a person’s mana.
But also a poison is guaranteed to erode the body.
No matter how I think, I can’t understand, why this?
I look at Atlas, with a small smile on my face while nodding.
“Because you wouldn’t have had any need to use these, you wouldn’t know this, but as long as you don’t have too much at once there won’t be any harm to your body.”
I took a single pill in my hand, and before I could lose my will, start to put it in my mouth.
But, I quickly lose my confidence.
Because this, is poison.
The way he said it, it seems like he’s used it many times.
“Is that, knowledge from personal experience?”
“It is.”
The justice of the hero, even if it goes through twists and turns, should always reach its destination.
There is no death.
There is no cruelty.
There is no pain.
Tranquility, without any real danger, it should be a character that moves towards a predetermined outcome.
So then, why is he using such a dangerous thing?
“The training school is just a place I was a member of. Where I learned what I had to learn. It was just practice….. On the battlefield, I am a magician.”
(Uses different quotes; I don’t believe Atlas is saying this right now. Possibly a recollection.)
Ah, it was probably that.
That Atlas chose the role of a magician instead of a knight, was it not my fault?
Because I pointed to the role of a magician on that battlefield.
Because I struck down his justice with reality.
Then, this too. Is my…
“My portion is also there. They’ve been contained by water magic at an appropriate amount. It’s enough for me to recover at least to the degree of being able to defend myself.”
(Medicine is a liquid, made into pill form by wrapping with water magic)
I dropped a single pill into my hand, dully reflecting the moonlight.
This is poison for the body.
I’ll die if I swallow this,【I】scream in my mind.
But, if I don’t take this medicine I’ll die soon enough anyways.
It seems the mistakes I’ve made have come back around to me in the form of poison.
In that case.
As I bit into it, the bitter taste spread through my mouth.
I closed my eyes and swallowed, while ignoring the taste of medicine that brought with it an uncomfortable crawling sensation on my skin.
＊
It may be presumptuous to say as the one saved by it, but I couldn’t deny that it was a completely reckless strategy after hearing it from Atlas.
Even if it was impossible to get back to the fort, it seems they would have considered it a successful rescue just by getting me back to the guerilla troops camped outside the fort.
However, with me in the state of anemia caused by excessive blood loss, it will be difficult to travel all the way to the support troops who have medics.
And finally, we were found by enemy soldiers.
Even after taking the recovery medicine, my magical power is insufficient to take out an enemy in one shot. But, Atlas’s magic isn’t suitable for sudden use or attack.
In the end, my magic only lasted partway before I ran out of magical power.
A body burnt black was revealed by the red glow of the fire- an unintelligible scream came from its mouth.
With the smell of burning meat, a low groan is mixed in.
In order to prevent needless suffering, I have to finish him quickly.
But even if I were to repeatedly attempt to draw out fire magic from this emptied out body, it would only result in more pain while lacking in firepower.
When Atlas, unable to remain indifferent to the man’s pain, drew his sword and stabbed the man, I could only stare in surprise.
Blood spurted vigorously from the man’s vitals, and Atlas was dyed by the dying man’s blood as he watched expressionlessly.
“Uu… ghh…..”
At this sight, my stomach turned.
I gritted my teeth.
Of course, my own actions are also terrible.
But, seeing it up close and experiencing the reality of it with the senses made me feel an aversion towards murder.
But, more than that- my mind yells, the hero and his colleagues shouldn’t be the ones piling up corpses.
The intense discomfort makes me feel nauseous.
Something like this shouldn’t be allowed.
Drinking poison. Killing people. What might be done next?
Unlike me, he’s a person who should take a straight path, one of those who support the hero.
A villain is someone already someone soaked in sin, but it’s not right for a hero to deviate from their path this much. Atlas shouldn’t be the one to commit sins.
Such thoughts push me to tell him that this is wrong. But, with my body trembling, I push back my clamoring memories.
“May I have some medicine?”
As I stretch out my hand him, stained by the blood of the soldier, I involuntarily take half a step back, but I can’t retreat now.
If a large amount of this drug is consumed in a short time, the side effects will occur more quickly.
Even if it’s processed with the healing magic of water, it won’t make any difference.
Even so, who can guarantee that the next enemy won’t be carrying a magic sealing stone?
“I’ll take care of the next one. So, you should focus your efforts on searching for enemies.”
In the novel, it is stated that my magic is the most suitable for destroying the magic sealing stones, guaranteed by the author’s words.
Even if Atlas doesn’t know of this guarantee, he should understand that his magic isn’t suitable for battle.
I continue speaking quickly to convince Atlas, who is raising his eyebrows.
“It’s alright, I won’t be noticed. I’ve gotten used to burning only bodies, so I can get rid of them without standing out.”
One of the flaws of fire magic is that the effectiveness is determined by the environment.
So, it’s difficult to do fine control in a bad environment, causing too much magic to be used.
But on this battlefield, over and over again.
So. After burning, and burning again, the precise control has been drummed into my body.
Guessing the meaning behind my words, Atlas’s gaze was shaken.
“You, possibly…”
“Because I had to do it, I did it….. There’s no way I’ll make a mistake at it anymore.”
Mages suffering in pain, implored me to use my magic.
The magicians I should have been protecting, I cut off their lives with my magic.
As that scene flashes before me, water naturally accumulates in my eyes.
The ones I burned were my allies, when it should have been used on my enemies.
Those that come against me will burn, even if they beg for salvation.
“So, may I have some more medicine?”
I’m not a magician of water- so all I can do is burn.
As Gil-sama once said, all I can do is create hatred.
Atlas was silent for a while, massaging his brow, then shook his head at me.
“I don’t like it.”
“Why? You can’t deal with magic sealing stones with your magic.”
“Deal with?”
As my irritation rose, I furrowed my eyebrows.
How much can I say about the method to destroy magic sealing stones? There is a limit even if the situation is bad.
But, as I recall the order in which events should flow, a warped smile comes to my mouth.
“Oh, I see… you don’t know yet.”
Without thinking, I accidentally leaked those words.
Atlas’s gaze pierced me with a look of questioning.
Oops, I messed up.
The destruction of magic sealing stones is done by pouring in an excessive quantity of magic.
Although it’s so simple, it’s impossible for average people to discover.
Gil-sama is the one who is supposed to first reveal the method of destroying the stones; it will end up being told to the military if I leak it here.
It might end up weakening the reputation Gil-sama would gain.
Well, but.
At what time, will Gil-sama be able to destroy the magic sealing stones― since in the story, it happens when I go insane.
“Origa, what the hell do you know?”
(Alternatives were “what the heck” and “what on earth” but those seemed too casual for this situation)
In his scrutinizing eyes, I wonder if I properly appear as the【Princess of the Inferno】.
As I kept my mouth tightly shut, Atlas opened his mouth to speak, and gazed at me with serious eyes.
“…..I know you don’t believe me. But I don’t want you, or anyone important to me, to suffer any more.”
Why are you looking at me with such blame in your eyes?
I have done nothing wrong.
Why are you spitting out such flimsy words?
You’ll just end up coming to kill me anyways.
You who should follow justice, why, for my sake?
“I’ll take this medicine. You won’t need to fight anymore.”
My emotions surge, impossible for me to control.
“―――What makes you think something like that is possible!?”
My yelling echoed loudly through the forest.
Why do I feel so frustrated?
What was given to Atlas, was the setting of living a good life as Gil-sama’s best friend.
The role given to me is to torture the hero, to rebel against the country at the expense of the lives of many.
Someone who doesn’t know anything shouldn’t deny my path.
Someone who can’t change anything shouldn’t deny my role.
“You don’t want me to suffer….? Then, let me fight! After all, I have no choice but to fight anyways! From the beginning, the past and future were already decided! Because I was born as【Origa】. Everything will go well as long as I’m gone. My death won’t be wasted― I know that, I know it all!”
I’m not afraid to live as a villain, and die as a villain.
Because, I know the magnitude of the influence this villain’s death will have on the hero.
I know that it’s an important role for guiding the story to a happy ending.
That’s why this is the only path for me.
“But, you messed up.”
A voice of blame sounds in my head.
If not for me, Harvester-sama wouldn’t have died.
If not for me, Atlas wouldn’t mess with medicine.
If not for me, so many magicians wouldn’t have died.
This is not the story I know.
So then, the significance of the villain’s existence.
I, what meaning is there in my death?
“Everything, ….ugh! Why did I….!”
“Calm down, Ori-!”
My constantly flowing thoughts revealed their ugliness.
The【Princess of the Inferno】dying while protecting the magicians, the dream I wished for on my sickbed, a dream that can’t be fulfilled, with hands covered in blood, my head hurts, a different story, the ending to come, will it be a hero walking on a path of justice?
―My thoughts can only conclude that this is reality, not a novel.
I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.
I want to face something like this directly.
Come here, so I can face reality.
In a frenzy I try to pull Atlas, but a strong arm pushes me and I fall on the ground.
Still trying to stand up again, I saw something from the corner of my vision.
“…..eh?”
Something grazes past my face, and strikes Atlas’s body with a dull sound.
He falls, and his collapsed body makes a pool of blood at my feet.
Gomen ne, Oniisama Chapter 3 part 3
The Villain’s Anger, and the Man Who Collapsed
As I allowed my tears to flow freely, I hid myself at the base of a tree to rest for a moment.
Fatigue is visible on Atlas’s face, but he still shows no signs of giving up.
With all my tears emptied, and my heart finally calmed down, I remembered the words I had spoken.
Although Atlas must have been in pain from the death of his father, I forced him to speak of it and reopen the wound.
I’m the one who caused him this pain.
As I opened my mouth to apologize, a quiet voice reached my ear.
“Is your mana level ok?”
I realized that I had forgotten to pay attention to my own condition, and closed my eyes.
I could barely feel the slow flow of magical power within my bloodstream.
While examining my magical power, I even felt a crack in my【Vessel】- perhaps caused by forced use while in extreme conditions.
In the novel, the only time the Princess of the Inferno was forced to this state was when facing the hero.
―If I continue to use magic in my current condition, my life might run out before I meet Gil-sama again.
When I opened my eyes and gently shook my head, Atlas made a displeased expression and took off the bag that was tied to his back.
There were some dried goods and medicinal herbs in the thin bag, but what he pulled out without any hesitation was a small bottle.
It’s full of an uncountable number of pills.
I had to hold it up to the moon so I could see them properly, collecting the light reflecting off the glass and sparkling with a dull silver-white.
I’ve never used them. But, this…
“This…”
“It’s a souvenir from Gil.”
A medicine held by soldiers for emergency situations, that I never had the need for.
However, I believe Keika has used it several times.
A miraculous drug that rapidly recovers a person’s mana.
But also a poison is guaranteed to erode the body.
No matter how I think, I can’t understand, why this?
I look at Atlas, with a small smile on my face while nodding.
“Because you wouldn’t have had any need to use these, you wouldn’t know this, but as long as you don’t have too much at once there won’t be any harm to your body.”
I took a single pill in my hand, and before I could lose my will, start to put it in my mouth.
But, I quickly lose my confidence.
Because this, is poison.
The way he said it, it seems like he’s used it many times.
“Is that, knowledge from personal experience?”
“It is.”
The justice of the hero, even if it goes through twists and turns, should always reach its destination.
There is no death.
There is no cruelty.
There is no pain.
Tranquility, without any real danger, it should be a character that moves towards a predetermined outcome.
So then, why is he using such a dangerous thing?
“The training school is just a place I was a member of. Where I learned what I had to learn. It was just practice….. On the battlefield, I am a magician.”
(Uses different quotes; I don’t believe Atlas is saying this right now. Possibly a recollection.)
Ah, it was probably that.
That Atlas chose the role of a magician instead of a knight, was it not my fault?
Because I pointed to the role of a magician on that battlefield.
Because I struck down his justice with reality.
Then, this too. Is my…
“My portion is also there. They’ve been contained by water magic at an appropriate amount. It’s enough for me to recover at least to the degree of being able to defend myself.”
(Medicine is a liquid, made into pill form by wrapping with water magic)
I dropped a single pill into my hand, dully reflecting the moonlight.
This is poison for the body.
I’ll die if I swallow this,【I】scream in my mind.
But, if I don’t take this medicine I’ll die soon enough anyways.
It seems the mistakes I’ve made have come back around to me in the form of poison.
In that case.
As I bit into it, the bitter taste spread through my mouth.
I closed my eyes and swallowed, while ignoring the taste of medicine that brought with it an uncomfortable crawling sensation on my skin.
＊
It may be presumptuous to say as the one saved by it, but I couldn’t deny that it was a completely reckless strategy after hearing it from Atlas.
Even if it was impossible to get back to the fort, it seems they would have considered it a successful rescue just by getting me back to the guerilla troops camped outside the fort.
However, with me in the state of anemia caused by excessive blood loss, it will be difficult to travel all the way to the support troops who have medics.
And finally, we were found by enemy soldiers.
Even after taking the recovery medicine, my magical power is insufficient to take out an enemy in one shot. But, Atlas’s magic isn’t suitable for sudden use or attack.
In the end, my magic only lasted partway before I ran out of magical power.
A body burnt black was revealed by the red glow of the fire- an unintelligible scream came from its mouth.
With the smell of burning meat, a low groan is mixed in.
In order to prevent needless suffering, I have to finish him quickly.
But even if I were to repeatedly attempt to draw out fire magic from this emptied out body, it would only result in more pain while lacking in firepower.
When Atlas, unable to remain indifferent to the man’s pain, drew his sword and stabbed the man, I could only stare in surprise.
Blood spurted vigorously from the man’s vitals, and Atlas was dyed by the dying man’s blood as he watched expressionlessly.
“Uu… ghh…..”
At this sight, my stomach turned.
I gritted my teeth.
Of course, my own actions are also terrible.
But, seeing it up close and experiencing the reality of it with the senses made me feel an aversion towards murder.
But, more than that- my mind yells, the hero and his colleagues shouldn’t be the ones piling up corpses.
The intense discomfort makes me feel nauseous.
Something like this shouldn’t be allowed.
Drinking poison. Killing people. What might be done next?
Unlike me, he’s a person who should take a straight path, one of those who support the hero.
A villain is someone already someone soaked in sin, but it’s not right for a hero to deviate from their path this much. Atlas shouldn’t be the one to commit sins.
Such thoughts push me to tell him that this is wrong. But, with my body trembling, I push back my clamoring memories.
“May I have some medicine?”
As I stretch out my hand him, stained by the blood of the soldier, I involuntarily take half a step back, but I can’t retreat now.
If a large amount of this drug is consumed in a short time, the side effects will occur more quickly.
Even if it’s processed with the healing magic of water, it won’t make any difference.
Even so, who can guarantee that the next enemy won’t be carrying a magic sealing stone?
“I’ll take care of the next one. So, you should focus your efforts on searching for enemies.”
In the novel, it is stated that my magic is the most suitable for destroying the magic sealing stones, guaranteed by the author’s words.
Even if Atlas doesn’t know of this guarantee, he should understand that his magic isn’t suitable for battle.
I continue speaking quickly to convince Atlas, who is raising his eyebrows.
“It’s alright, I won’t be noticed. I’ve gotten used to burning only bodies, so I can get rid of them without standing out.”
One of the flaws of fire magic is that the effectiveness is determined by the environment.
So, it’s difficult to do fine control in a bad environment, causing too much magic to be used.
But on this battlefield, over and over again.
So. After burning, and burning again, the precise control has been drummed into my body.
Guessing the meaning behind my words, Atlas’s gaze was shaken.
“You, possibly…”
“Because I had to do it, I did it….. There’s no way I’ll make a mistake at it anymore.”
Mages suffering in pain, implored me to use my magic.
The magicians I should have been protecting, I cut off their lives with my magic.
As that scene flashes before me, water naturally accumulates in my eyes.
The ones I burned were my allies, when it should have been used on my enemies.
Those that come against me will burn, even if they beg for salvation.
“So, may I have some more medicine?”
I’m not a magician of water- so all I can do is burn.
As Gil-sama once said, all I can do is create hatred.
Atlas was silent for a while, massaging his brow, then shook his head at me.
“I don’t like it.”
“Why? You can’t deal with magic sealing stones with your magic.”
“Deal with?”
As my irritation rose, I furrowed my eyebrows.
How much can I say about the method to destroy magic sealing stones? There is a limit even if the situation is bad.
But, as I recall the order in which events should flow, a warped smile comes to my mouth.
“Oh, I see… you don’t know yet.”
Without thinking, I accidentally leaked those words.
Atlas’s gaze pierced me with a look of questioning.
Oops, I messed up.
The destruction of magic sealing stones is done by pouring in an excessive quantity of magic.
Although it’s so simple, it’s impossible for average people to discover.
Gil-sama is the one who is supposed to first reveal the method of destroying the stones; it will end up being told to the military if I leak it here.
It might end up weakening the reputation Gil-sama would gain.
Well, but.
At what time, will Gil-sama be able to destroy the magic sealing stones― since in the story, it happens when I go insane.
“Origa, what the hell do you know?”
(Alternatives were “what the heck” and “what on earth” but those seemed too casual for this situation)
In his scrutinizing eyes, I wonder if I properly appear as the【Princess of the Inferno】.
As I kept my mouth tightly shut, Atlas opened his mouth to speak, and gazed at me with serious eyes.
“…..I know you don’t believe me. But I don’t want you, or anyone important to me, to suffer any more.”
Why are you looking at me with such blame in your eyes?
I have done nothing wrong.
Why are you spitting out such flimsy words?
You’ll just end up coming to kill me anyways.
You who should follow justice, why, for my sake?
“I’ll take this medicine. You won’t need to fight anymore.”
My emotions surge, impossible for me to control.
“―――What makes you think something like that is possible!?”
My yelling echoed loudly through the forest.
Why do I feel so frustrated?
What was given to Atlas, was the setting of living a good life as Gil-sama’s best friend.
The role given to me is to torture the hero, to rebel against the country at the expense of the lives of many.
Someone who doesn’t know anything shouldn’t deny my path.
Someone who can’t change anything shouldn’t deny my role.
“You don’t want me to suffer….? Then, let me fight! After all, I have no choice but to fight anyways! From the beginning, the past and future were already decided! Because I was born as【Origa】. Everything will go well as long as I’m gone. My death won’t be wasted― I know that, I know it all!”
I’m not afraid to live as a villain, and die as a villain.
Because, I know the magnitude of the influence this villain’s death will have on the hero.
I know that it’s an important role for guiding the story to a happy ending.
That’s why this is the only path for me.
“But, you messed up.”
A voice of blame sounds in my head.
If not for me, Harvester-sama wouldn’t have died.
If not for me, Atlas wouldn’t mess with medicine.
If not for me, so many magicians wouldn’t have died.
This is not the story I know.
So then, the significance of the villain’s existence.
I, what meaning is there in my death?
“Everything, ….ugh! Why did I….!”
“Calm down, Ori-!”
My constantly flowing thoughts revealed their ugliness.
The【Princess of the Inferno】dying while protecting the magicians, the dream I wished for on my sickbed, a dream that can’t be fulfilled, with hands covered in blood, my head hurts, a different story, the ending to come, will it be a hero walking on a path of justice?
―My thoughts can only conclude that this is reality, not a novel.
I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.
I want to face something like this directly.
Come here, so I can face reality.
In a frenzy I try to pull Atlas, but a strong arm pushes me and I fall on the ground.
Still trying to stand up again, I saw something from the corner of my vision.
“…..eh?”
Something grazes past my face, and strikes Atlas’s body with a dull sound.
He falls, and his collapsed body makes a pool of blood at my feet.
