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Published at 29th of December 2018 10:24:20 AM


Chapter 71

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[Boom Tube] was noisy, but it was a pure long distance travel solution and the closest to true teleportation for us. Because it can be set anywhere in three-dimensional space, there were also some strategic and tactical options. Just opening the [Boom Tube] in the middle of the enemy formation, for example, could disorient them. There was also the whole "[Boom Tube] to the ocean floor" idea to drown the enemy in the desert with salt water that they can't use.

[Portal] was tactically useful, and I could evade enemy attacks easily playing whack-a-mole, dipping down and emerging somewhere else. Using pairs of shields, I could throw enemy attacks back into each other. We even could all wear long capes so that I could always put a [Portal] at our backs, and use each other as teleport points during combat.

[Town Portal] required me to visit a place before I could go there. It was more or less just a quick evac solution. Nothing flashy, but ugh! The money! So much money! The socioeconomic gains I couldn't even begin to predict.

/"Just go to sleep, Player. You have to mind your lesson plan for teaching Sue tomorrow."/

Ugh. It was a familiar feeling. So exhausted, and yet just can't sleep. This was the most common and most annoying form of insomnia that afflicts many people. So you try to play a game or troll around the internet or something to force you brain to relax and then suddenly it's daytime and you have to go to school or to work. Dang it! We just never learn. It never works.

"… I might need some help getting to sleep."

/"In the Duke of Ortlinde's own home?! You are shameless, Player!" /

Eheheh. That… wasn't a no.

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Sue's morning lessons reviewed the functions of the Circulatory System as we discussed yesterday, and then we began to talk about the Nervous System. This included the brain and sensory organs as the eyes and ears, so she was so terribly interested.

Sue even looked somewhat annoyed when Charlotte arrived and interrupted her lessons. Alan accompanied her only long enough to put down a Magic Circle into the library floor and then [Portal] away through it.

Charlotte surprisingly managed to restrain herself and limited her questions to the end of the lecture. "Astounding. What sort of place has managed to decipher the human body to such an extent? How did your people even acquire such knowledge? You said before that this was something your people learned for themselves, not taken as scraps of old knowledge from the Ancient Civilization."

Sue stared up at me, and then a look of horror passed across her face.

Oh. Oh! Right. I talked about /vivisection/ to Sue. Woops.

I coughed onto my gloved fists. "Centuries of research. And there is a particular device that can view the insides of the human body via echoes of sound, and another that uses minute electrical fields. That's how our spell [Diagnosis] works."

"That's another unique spell that can't be learned, isn't it?" Charlotte huffed, and flicked at the trails of her long green hair. "How sad."

"Before any other spell, if I figure out how to make it possible for someone else to cast, that's the one Sue will have to figure out from me. Knowledge saves lives."

"That is so true."

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Charlotte's legs twitched uncontrollably. She fidgeted in her seat. Then she stood up and complained angrily, "It is time! He should be here by now!"

Then after a little while longer, there was a bright flash of purple light - Alan's [Portal] activated. Another walking pile of books appeared, towering so high it the stack almost reached the ceiling.

"Alan!" Charlotte hissed. "What kept you? We were waiting for so long! You're wasting Sir Zah's valuable time!"

Alan tried to step forward, and then slipped on the tile floor. With a creaking sound Alan and his book tower toppled over backwards. "Oof! Gurk! Igh! Gleek!" Alan grunted in pain and tried to cover his soft tissues from the falling books.

"Uh… dude? Are you okay?" I asked. "Do you need healing?"

"Sir Zah of Chara, you are my sworn enemy!" he screamed out painfully from under the book pile. "Today you have made an enemy for life!"

I looked towards the buried form, then up at Charlotte's eagerly expectant face. "Just how many texts do you expect me to translate anyway?"

Charlotte kept on blithely ignoring Alan's pain. Alan was actually her brother-in-law, and by reports from her own sister and his own colleagues at the Royal Guards, he was willing to say anything to skivv off work. Thus everyone just kept forcing him to do things paying no attention how he has already repeatedly refused.

"There are countless important texts to decipher! You are the only one that can do this!"

My face twitched. "… all right. New plan." I picked up a pair of books from the pile. "Give me two random books and I'll translate it in my spare time and give you results every weekend."

Charlotte looked down at the pile, then back up at me. "But… but we would be wasting valuable learning hours during the weekend! Please! You don't know how much this means to me! Knowledge must be set free!" she exclaimed with sultry bedroom eyes and a bare-toothed battlefield grin.

If I ever got into the habit, Alan's fate would be mine as well. Nope to that!

I took one step back. She took one step forward, her shoulders lowering as if readying to pounce.

I stared at the smooth creamy exposed flesh of Charlotte's heaving bosoms, and then shouted "Monika! INITIATE GTFO PROTOCOLS!"

Monika cackled again. /"GTFO Engaged."/

A [Boom Tube] opened up behind me, and the bang of its opening threw out all books and caused Sue to shriek in alarm. The noise attracted the attention of the house guards, and soon one of them rushed to open the door, followed by the Duke himself.

Duke Alfred first looked for his daughter, and Sue was safe enough still seated by the study desk. Her long corn-yellow hair only looked a little bit frizzled. Then towards the large glowing hole in space inside his library. Then to the mess at my feet. Then back to looking all around his library, noting how he had already removed all breakable items as soon as I visited.

"Sorry, but I'll be leaving for now, my lord!" I said to him. Then to Sue "I left worksheets! Fill out your homework early, I'll check them on my return!"

"Wait!" Charlotte wailed, "Why are you leaving?!"

"I'll be back," I replied in a deep Austrian drawl, and leaped backwards. The [Boom Tube] sucked me in with a strong flying vacuum, and with closed with another loud bang.

There was a ripping noise and Duke Alfred howled, "My carpet!"

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Boom.

Whump.

With a kicked-up cloud of dust, I landed on my back onto the fenced back yard of the Silver Moon Inn. The impact drove the breath right out of me, and landing flat with a flared helmet hurt my neck.

"What in gods' name?!" Micah rushed out to the back door, carrying a mop like it was a spear. "Oh. It's you." She looked at the overturned tables and benches and distressed bushes and sighed. "I suppose I should welcome you back, Mister Playa."

"Hi honey, I'm hooome."

Micah just sighed and rubbed at forehead. "Is this going to be a thing? I should start charging you nuisance fees."

I nodded, still lying down on the ground. Inappropriate laughter threatened to bubble out from inside me, but I had a strong feeling she would make me pay more for that. "Fair enough."

Ahahaha. Knowledge must be set free, and so – I have escaped!

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Much later, it was while was dining with the girls that I suddenly realized, "Wait a second! I didn't get paid!"

I evac-ed out before the Duke could give me my tutoring fee. I should have asked to be paid in advance.

"You shouldn't look too pleased by that!" Elze shot back.

Elze please, make up your mind. Do you want me to make money or not?

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-End The Distance Between Two Hearts is Zero End-




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