Chapter 15
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<▪▪Augustus▪▪>
"Now how did you know that it was me? Seriously-" I said bemusedly, looking at her smiling face.
"Well? Isn't it obvious?" She said as her lips curled upwards. Seeing that I didn't answer, she carried on. "It's your smell. Maybe if you'd change your cigarettes, perfume, shaving cream and shampoo, I wouldn't know you."
I looked at her and nodded with a smile. "That's impressive," I said sincerely as let my eyes study her. She was wearing all black like last time.
"Where are my earphones though?" She asked, fumbling with her fingers.
"Oh, those broke."
She nodded silently. "Thank you." She stated after a while.
"For what?" I asked puzzled. And yes, I was actually very confused. I didn't recall doing anything decent ever since my feet landed in London.
"For caring." At that, I raised my eyebrows and suppressed a snicker. "Not many people would care enough to ensure other people's safety or whatever. So thank you." She smiled as her hand found my hand, patted it twice and then withdrew.
And then -oh- I recalled saving her from the bloody rapists a few days ago.
"So-" I started, clearing my throat, to decrease how awkward it had become due to her gratitude which I couldn't respond to. "-how old are you?"
I thought that this question was the question. The one that would start up a conversation, which I, by the way, found particularly amusing. I mean why did I want to converse with a blind, music-loving girl?
But she turned to me and grinned. "I'm twenty-four." She then smiled. "I'll actually turn twenty-four tomorrow."
I raised my eyebrows. "Well, now you have an early, happy birthday, from me in case we never meet again."
She laughed gracefully as her slender fingers of both her hands intertwined together. She pulled her fingers apart. My eyes lingered on her fingers. "Thanks, stranger." She added playfully.
I then looked in her direction with a faint smile. "Who will you be spending it with?"
"What do you mean?" She whispered for some reason and leaned in closer as if that'd make her understand me better.
"I meant will you, for example, spend it with your friends? Your boyfriend-" I was actually spending some effort to keep up a conversation with her. I mean, blimey, she did manage to awake my curiosity.
She laughed, cutting me off. "Oh. Nah. I don't have any of those." She waved a dismissive hand. "I'll be spending it with my aunt Amanda and her daughter."
"You don't have friends?" I asked actually shocked. A person like her, I thought, would befriend the bloody stones she walked on if she could. I mean, remember how she introduced herself?
"Well. I'm not exactly in a...state to make friends with people. I won't be of any use, you know. In other words, I'll be a burden, not a friend." She said nonchalantly smiling.
"You're-" I paused, studying her curiously. "-you're okay about that?"
"Well. Yes. I've been okay with that for six years. It's no big deal I promise." She said grinning and turning her head towards me. And I remember being very amused about this. About her ability to befriend her loneliness and accept her disability so easily. I mean, hell, I thought all the people I'd meet would be whining about boyfriends and disturbing, God- incredibly disturbing drama.
I was actually 'happy' to have found a mature person. Like it actually made me oddly happy. I wanted to laugh at my ridiculousness.
"Well," I said with a smile playing on my lips. "Do you-" I said hesitantly. "Do you want to spend your birthday with a friend?"
After the question slipped out, I realized that being 'happy' had a side effect on me. A side effect called stupidity, if you're well aware of it. Because that was what my question meant.
She grinned. "I would love to. I mean, I could only imagine."
I looked at her and was amused to find my lips curl involuntarily into a smile. A. Bloody. Wide. Smile. Talk about mawkish. However, I couldn't deny that her strength made me admire her.
"Well. Would you like to spend it with me tomorrow?" I asked not thinking twice and actually not regretting it. My curiosity had piqued and I wanted to actually know her more.
She gasped looking at me, then laughed bringing her hand to her mouth. A foolish grin, aroused by the sound of her laughter, spread on my face.
"Why, but I don't know you, Julius Caesar." She said, raising an eyebrow playfully. "You could be a paedophile for all I know."
I chuckled bemusedly. "Do I sound like a paedophile to you? I'm just twenty-five." I said and she smiled slowly. "So? Are you in?"
She nodded slowly. "Just because I literally blindly trust you."
I grinned at that and averted my gaze to the ground, then diverted it back up at her face with a faint smile and small bubble of excitement in my throat.
"Okay, then. Let's meet at ten in the morning in the park." I observed her face for any sign of discomfort, but her smile only seemed to get wider. "Then we'll celebrate together."
She shook her head and laughed again. "I seriously can't believe I'm doing this, but okay." She breathed, biting down on her lower lip.
"Then, give me your phone number," I said smoothly and she dictated it to me with a smile as I saved it on my phone.
"What will we do though?" She asked curiously, clasping her hands together.
"I honestly don't know." I breathed out confidently for some reason. I knew that it'd be fine to tell her this- she wouldn't weave unnecessary drama. In fact, she smiled. "But-" I added. "-I'll figure it out by tomorrow," I announced with a smirk and she laughed again. And I stared at her as her laughter settled into a light chuckle, then a satisfied, soft sigh.
"Okay. Will do." She then said and I inhaled.
"Great." I smiled. "Oh, and you should change out of the black you're always wearing. Wear something colourful."
Her smiling lips twitched as she nodded and looked away.
Oh. Well.
Her phone then rang, startling both of us out of the comfortable silence that managed to settle between us. A mechanical woman's voice announced the caller's name as Amanda- her aunt.
She then got up and looked down at a point next to me with a smile.
"Looks like I have to go. Bianca- my aunt's daughter- has a doctor's appointment and I have to be there for her." She said pleasantly.
I then got up and stood in front of her. "It's okay."
"Thank you so much again."
"It's nothing, really. I'll see you tomorrow, yes?"
She nodded vigorously, grinning as her shoulder-length, black hair fluttered around her face. She tightened her black, woollen scarf around her neck then held her cane.
"Bye." She said firmly with a shy smile before leaving me alone.
---
I returned to the motel at about twenty-one hundred hours, after stopping at Augustus's to return his car and thank him.
I stepped in and found Sam still in her clothes, sitting on my bed and doing absolutely nothing. I quickly closed the door and approached her sighing.
"I thought I told you to settle in," I said softly and she looked at me speechless.
"I-I couldn't just do what I want. It's not right." She said simply, playing with her fingers.
"It's good you didn't unpack though," I said, pursing my lips. "Because we're moving tomorrow. If my fath- those who are looking for you found you, they probably traced me too." I cleared my throat and scolded myself for the mistake I almost committed.
Sam nodded stiffly as I watched her closely and noticed how nervous she actually was.
"How about you change into some pyjamas or something practical while I take a quick shower?" I suggested, breaking the silence between us.
She took a deep breath, then nodded slowly, her gaze fixated on the floor. "Yeah. I should do that."
I cocked my head, studied her more and headed to the washroom. A quick shower later, I was out in a plain white shirt and grey sweatpants. I preferred practicality over anything. I then found Sam in some pink pyjamas and a high ponytail searching the refrigerator. Which was, my dear friends, empty. I didn't even remember to eat these days.
"You have absolutely nothing in here," Sam stated, straightening up and looking at me.
"Yes. I will do the grocery sometime soon." I said callously, laying down on my bed, switching on the TV and lighting a cigarette. "Maybe, yo-"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Sam shrieked out of nowhere, making me almost drop the cigarette in shock.
I glared at her, appalled.
"I-uh- am sorry." She then said quickly, running a hand through her hair and looking down momentarily. "I just have a severe allergy to smoke. Asthma." She said, closing the refrigerator. "Would you please not smoke in here?"
I looked at her still shocked. "Certainly. All you had to do is ask. Christ." I muttered under my breath setting my lighter and dead cigarette on the bedside table.
"I want to sleep." Sam then said immediately, catching my attention. I sighed.
"Then, sleep?" I muttered with a slight shrug, looked back at the TV and flipped the channels.
"Where?" She asked hesitantly and I glanced at her quickly before looking back at the TV.
"Here? On the bed?" I said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.
It was quite obvious, I thought.
"Sleep next to you? No way!" She made a face at which I smirked.
"And why not? It's not like you have an alternative. The floor is, I guess, worse than me. I don't even know when was the last time they cleaned it." I added nonchalantly.
"Aren't you like supposed to like sacrifice and sleep on the floor for me to sleep on the bed?" She said and I looked at her. I then raised my eyebrows.
Well, I did read about that, but, needless to say, theatrics never really got to me.
"Um...No?" I said with a subtle head shake. "If the bed can fit both of us, why should I sacrifice? Besides, it's not like I'd do anything to you. Therefore, I recommend you to get your mind out of the gutters. Seriously, Sam." I continued with a playful smirk.
Sam gasped. "That wasn't-" She narrowed her eyes at me and I tilted my head in triumph. She then walked to my bed with resignation and laid down carefully, covering herself with the bed's covers.
It wasn't for another hour before I, too, switched off the TV and slept next to her. A hand on my gun.
---
Alexander's POV.
"What do you mean you got distracted?!" I said angrily on the phone.
"I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again, I swear-I promise." Philip stuttered and I decided to take a deep, calming breath.
"Julius is not stupid." I snapped. "A day late is a second away from him knowing what's up. Do you understand? Do not underestimate him!" I shouted and heard Philip sigh wearily.
"We aren't underestimating him, Alexander. We know he isn't easy. That's why we can't have him until now." He surprised me by using my name, but it indicated his sincerity. He was the only one from all my men, who could use my name. He had proved his loyalty several times for many years.
I smirked in satisfaction. "Okay. Whatever. He better be at my feet by tomorrow."
"We'll try." He said and I clenched my fists.
"You better have him tomorrow. Philips." I then hung up on the phone, annoyed at the fact that they got distracted over booze instead of looking for the girl and my pathetic excuse of a son.
A bunch of bloody, time-wasting idiots.
I quickly then dialled Augustus's number. I knew that hearing his voice would help me relax. He answered immediately.
"Heyyo, Daddy!" His voice blared in my phone's speakers and I shut my eyes in satisfaction.
"Hello, son. How are you?" I asked with a heavy sigh.
"Just great! How are you? You literally sound like shit."
I shook my head smiling.
"It's Philip, isn't it?" He then asked. "Well, if only you would bring me to work with you instead of him. I swear, I'd do you better." He continued and my smile fell.
"No. You wouldn't want to be here, trust me. It's not good." I said wearily. "We've-"
"I don't trust anybody except for myself. And I really want to work with you. Dad." I thought he sounded almost serious.
"We've already had this discussion before, Augustus." I frowned, disturbingly. I sent you to London to study business because it's safe and healthy out there." I said sternly.
"Yeah, yeah, right." He sighed dreamily. "But what you do sounds badass to me. I totally wanna do it."
"It's not that easy, son." I closed my eyes. I didn't want to have this conversation with him again.
"No?" He scoffed. "Just walk around with a gun. Intimidate anyone who'd bother you. Make money. Lots of money. Fuck a lot of bitches. That sounds easy breezy to me." He rapped and I imagined him with a playful look on his face.
"A very simplified and plain version of what's happening, from a hormonal kid's point of view," I said smiling weakly.
"Hey, I'm not a kid!" He protested uselessly.
"I'm hanging up on you, Gust." I said with a smirk and hung up on him while he rambled on about how much he 'loved' me.
I liked to always tell him I was hanging up on him so that I'd hear of how much he loved me. To me, he was the only promise that love still existed in my otherwise dull universe.
Quite so, he was everything left for me after Adriana- Augustus's mother died. I knew it wasn't right to have an affair with her, especially that I was married to Miguel- Julius's mother. And no, I actually didn't marry Miguel for her company.
I solemnly thought I loved her. But, I believed I didn't know what love really was. I didn't know how it was supposed to feel like or be. So I married her. Exchanged some vows. And had a boy. Julius.
But I watched Adriana every time I jogged in the morning. We talked once. Twice. Until we were jogging next to each other every day. We became closer and closer. It was out of my control. Even when I was making love to Miguel, all I thought about was how it would be if it were Adriana's body that was pressed against mine instead. How it would be if things were...different.
It wasn't one-sided and we both knew we had a weakness for each other. I loved her and Adriana loved me too.
Then came the day when she told me that she was pregnant and that she was so sorry. I wasn't angry as she expected I'd be. In fact, I was ecstatic. I was getting a piece of her. But she died from birth complications. She lost a lot of blood or something. I was, needless to say, devastated. But I had a boy to name and care for.
Augustus Alexander.
I thought I started hating Miguel for it. I didn't know why or what caused all that hatred against her. But I guess, if it weren't for Miguel, I would've spent more time with Adriana. I would've spent more time with the person I actually loved and cared about.
You must be thinking then, why didn't I divorce her. Well. When I thought I had Adriana as my lover, I thought the only thing that was missing was, obviously, money. So I kept her for her company, only then.
By the time Augustus was here, Julius was already there. Just a few years older than him. Five years. I was angry simply because I had to spend all my time with Julius who was already spoiled with care from his mother, instead of a motherless baby who had to spend his childhood with a babysitter.
I never thought of abandoning Augustus for adoption whatsoever. He was my love and got Adriana's eyes and lips.
When Miguel died of cancer, it was like a sign. I had the opportunity to finally stay with Augustus when he was just eleven. But her will was messed up. I had to stay with Julius.
Of course, I was furious. I couldn't bring the two boys to live together. I wouldn't want anything to disrupt Augustus's life. And definitely not the fact that he had a brother. He was just eleven and I wouldn't want him to think that I cheated on his mother or any of that.
I channelled all my anger in Gorj. Making it a great, prestigious company. Julius lived with me. He lived my hard life and I honestly did not care.
I agreed with the fact that his mother did a great job in maintaining Gorj and its reputation. But business is dirty. When things didn't go my way, they just had to. So many times have I sent Julius to sleep with a couple of women to get a good ass deal from them. Or sent him to threaten a couple of people into withdrawing from competitions. Or sent him to break open their skulls and kill them if absolutely necessary.
I taught him hard that 'Kill for Gorj' was his motto. Why? Because I believed that ending a person's life is the worst thing one could possibly do. So if killing was permitted for Gorj, so was every other thing possible.
I didn't want Augustus to live that life. He wasn't fit for it. I wanted him to grow like Adriana would want him to be. I didn't think she would like it if I involved him in this. Yes, I might have asked him to do trivial things -like looking for Julius, buying me weapons and asking questions- just to make him think that I valued him more than anyone or anything else.
But he didn't know what he'd be up against if I let him in. He was a soft boy like his mother. He might've looked intimidating, but he was the farthest from that. I already swore an oath to myself to never involve him in my way of life. Because he was just so precious to me and I couldn't afford to lose him and his purity. And in my business, there were a lot of risks, including people's lives. Obviously.
I reached for my bedside table and took a sleeping pill.
Today I felt like sleeping.
***
A/N: That was an exposing chapter I think. What do you think?
Lots of love and appreciation. <3
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
<▪▪Augustus▪▪>
"Now how did you know that it was me? Seriously-" I said bemusedly, looking at her smiling face.
"Well? Isn't it obvious?" She said as her lips curled upwards. Seeing that I didn't answer, she carried on. "It's your smell. Maybe if you'd change your cigarettes, perfume, shaving cream and shampoo, I wouldn't know you."
I looked at her and nodded with a smile. "That's impressive," I said sincerely as let my eyes study her. She was wearing all black like last time.
"Where are my earphones though?" She asked, fumbling with her fingers.
"Oh, those broke."
She nodded silently. "Thank you." She stated after a while.
"For what?" I asked puzzled. And yes, I was actually very confused. I didn't recall doing anything decent ever since my feet landed in London.
"For caring." At that, I raised my eyebrows and suppressed a snicker. "Not many people would care enough to ensure other people's safety or whatever. So thank you." She smiled as her hand found my hand, patted it twice and then withdrew.
And then -oh- I recalled saving her from the bloody rapists a few days ago.
"So-" I started, clearing my throat, to decrease how awkward it had become due to her gratitude which I couldn't respond to. "-how old are you?"
I thought that this question was the question. The one that would start up a conversation, which I, by the way, found particularly amusing. I mean why did I want to converse with a blind, music-loving girl?
But she turned to me and grinned. "I'm twenty-four." She then smiled. "I'll actually turn twenty-four tomorrow."
I raised my eyebrows. "Well, now you have an early, happy birthday, from me in case we never meet again."
She laughed gracefully as her slender fingers of both her hands intertwined together. She pulled her fingers apart. My eyes lingered on her fingers. "Thanks, stranger." She added playfully.
I then looked in her direction with a faint smile. "Who will you be spending it with?"
"What do you mean?" She whispered for some reason and leaned in closer as if that'd make her understand me better.
"I meant will you, for example, spend it with your friends? Your boyfriend-" I was actually spending some effort to keep up a conversation with her. I mean, blimey, she did manage to awake my curiosity.
She laughed, cutting me off. "Oh. Nah. I don't have any of those." She waved a dismissive hand. "I'll be spending it with my aunt Amanda and her daughter."
"You don't have friends?" I asked actually shocked. A person like her, I thought, would befriend the bloody stones she walked on if she could. I mean, remember how she introduced herself?
"Well. I'm not exactly in a...state to make friends with people. I won't be of any use, you know. In other words, I'll be a burden, not a friend." She said nonchalantly smiling.
"You're-" I paused, studying her curiously. "-you're okay about that?"
"Well. Yes. I've been okay with that for six years. It's no big deal I promise." She said grinning and turning her head towards me. And I remember being very amused about this. About her ability to befriend her loneliness and accept her disability so easily. I mean, hell, I thought all the people I'd meet would be whining about boyfriends and disturbing, God- incredibly disturbing drama.
I was actually 'happy' to have found a mature person. Like it actually made me oddly happy. I wanted to laugh at my ridiculousness.
"Well," I said with a smile playing on my lips. "Do you-" I said hesitantly. "Do you want to spend your birthday with a friend?"
After the question slipped out, I realized that being 'happy' had a side effect on me. A side effect called stupidity, if you're well aware of it. Because that was what my question meant.
She grinned. "I would love to. I mean, I could only imagine."
I looked at her and was amused to find my lips curl involuntarily into a smile. A. Bloody. Wide. Smile. Talk about mawkish. However, I couldn't deny that her strength made me admire her.
"Well. Would you like to spend it with me tomorrow?" I asked not thinking twice and actually not regretting it. My curiosity had piqued and I wanted to actually know her more.
She gasped looking at me, then laughed bringing her hand to her mouth. A foolish grin, aroused by the sound of her laughter, spread on my face.
"Why, but I don't know you, Julius Caesar." She said, raising an eyebrow playfully. "You could be a paedophile for all I know."
I chuckled bemusedly. "Do I sound like a paedophile to you? I'm just twenty-five." I said and she smiled slowly. "So? Are you in?"
She nodded slowly. "Just because I literally blindly trust you."
I grinned at that and averted my gaze to the ground, then diverted it back up at her face with a faint smile and small bubble of excitement in my throat.
"Okay, then. Let's meet at ten in the morning in the park." I observed her face for any sign of discomfort, but her smile only seemed to get wider. "Then we'll celebrate together."
She shook her head and laughed again. "I seriously can't believe I'm doing this, but okay." She breathed, biting down on her lower lip.
"Then, give me your phone number," I said smoothly and she dictated it to me with a smile as I saved it on my phone.
"What will we do though?" She asked curiously, clasping her hands together.
"I honestly don't know." I breathed out confidently for some reason. I knew that it'd be fine to tell her this- she wouldn't weave unnecessary drama. In fact, she smiled. "But-" I added. "-I'll figure it out by tomorrow," I announced with a smirk and she laughed again. And I stared at her as her laughter settled into a light chuckle, then a satisfied, soft sigh.
"Okay. Will do." She then said and I inhaled.
"Great." I smiled. "Oh, and you should change out of the black you're always wearing. Wear something colourful."
Her smiling lips twitched as she nodded and looked away.
Oh. Well.
Her phone then rang, startling both of us out of the comfortable silence that managed to settle between us. A mechanical woman's voice announced the caller's name as Amanda- her aunt.
She then got up and looked down at a point next to me with a smile.
"Looks like I have to go. Bianca- my aunt's daughter- has a doctor's appointment and I have to be there for her." She said pleasantly.
I then got up and stood in front of her. "It's okay."
"Thank you so much again."
"It's nothing, really. I'll see you tomorrow, yes?"
She nodded vigorously, grinning as her shoulder-length, black hair fluttered around her face. She tightened her black, woollen scarf around her neck then held her cane.
"Bye." She said firmly with a shy smile before leaving me alone.
---
I returned to the motel at about twenty-one hundred hours, after stopping at Augustus's to return his car and thank him.
I stepped in and found Sam still in her clothes, sitting on my bed and doing absolutely nothing. I quickly closed the door and approached her sighing.
"I thought I told you to settle in," I said softly and she looked at me speechless.
"I-I couldn't just do what I want. It's not right." She said simply, playing with her fingers.
"It's good you didn't unpack though," I said, pursing my lips. "Because we're moving tomorrow. If my fath- those who are looking for you found you, they probably traced me too." I cleared my throat and scolded myself for the mistake I almost committed.
Sam nodded stiffly as I watched her closely and noticed how nervous she actually was.
"How about you change into some pyjamas or something practical while I take a quick shower?" I suggested, breaking the silence between us.
She took a deep breath, then nodded slowly, her gaze fixated on the floor. "Yeah. I should do that."
I cocked my head, studied her more and headed to the washroom. A quick shower later, I was out in a plain white shirt and grey sweatpants. I preferred practicality over anything. I then found Sam in some pink pyjamas and a high ponytail searching the refrigerator. Which was, my dear friends, empty. I didn't even remember to eat these days.
"You have absolutely nothing in here," Sam stated, straightening up and looking at me.
"Yes. I will do the grocery sometime soon." I said callously, laying down on my bed, switching on the TV and lighting a cigarette. "Maybe, yo-"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Sam shrieked out of nowhere, making me almost drop the cigarette in shock.
I glared at her, appalled.
"I-uh- am sorry." She then said quickly, running a hand through her hair and looking down momentarily. "I just have a severe allergy to smoke. Asthma." She said, closing the refrigerator. "Would you please not smoke in here?"
I looked at her still shocked. "Certainly. All you had to do is ask. Christ." I muttered under my breath setting my lighter and dead cigarette on the bedside table.
"I want to sleep." Sam then said immediately, catching my attention. I sighed.
"Then, sleep?" I muttered with a slight shrug, looked back at the TV and flipped the channels.
"Where?" She asked hesitantly and I glanced at her quickly before looking back at the TV.
"Here? On the bed?" I said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.
It was quite obvious, I thought.
"Sleep next to you? No way!" She made a face at which I smirked.
"And why not? It's not like you have an alternative. The floor is, I guess, worse than me. I don't even know when was the last time they cleaned it." I added nonchalantly.
"Aren't you like supposed to like sacrifice and sleep on the floor for me to sleep on the bed?" She said and I looked at her. I then raised my eyebrows.
Well, I did read about that, but, needless to say, theatrics never really got to me.
"Um...No?" I said with a subtle head shake. "If the bed can fit both of us, why should I sacrifice? Besides, it's not like I'd do anything to you. Therefore, I recommend you to get your mind out of the gutters. Seriously, Sam." I continued with a playful smirk.
Sam gasped. "That wasn't-" She narrowed her eyes at me and I tilted my head in triumph. She then walked to my bed with resignation and laid down carefully, covering herself with the bed's covers.
It wasn't for another hour before I, too, switched off the TV and slept next to her. A hand on my gun.
---
Alexander's POV.
"What do you mean you got distracted?!" I said angrily on the phone.
"I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again, I swear-I promise." Philip stuttered and I decided to take a deep, calming breath.
"Julius is not stupid." I snapped. "A day late is a second away from him knowing what's up. Do you understand? Do not underestimate him!" I shouted and heard Philip sigh wearily.
"We aren't underestimating him, Alexander. We know he isn't easy. That's why we can't have him until now." He surprised me by using my name, but it indicated his sincerity. He was the only one from all my men, who could use my name. He had proved his loyalty several times for many years.
I smirked in satisfaction. "Okay. Whatever. He better be at my feet by tomorrow."
"We'll try." He said and I clenched my fists.
"You better have him tomorrow. Philips." I then hung up on the phone, annoyed at the fact that they got distracted over booze instead of looking for the girl and my pathetic excuse of a son.
A bunch of bloody, time-wasting idiots.
I quickly then dialled Augustus's number. I knew that hearing his voice would help me relax. He answered immediately.
"Heyyo, Daddy!" His voice blared in my phone's speakers and I shut my eyes in satisfaction.
"Hello, son. How are you?" I asked with a heavy sigh.
"Just great! How are you? You literally sound like shit."
I shook my head smiling.
"It's Philip, isn't it?" He then asked. "Well, if only you would bring me to work with you instead of him. I swear, I'd do you better." He continued and my smile fell.
"No. You wouldn't want to be here, trust me. It's not good." I said wearily. "We've-"
"I don't trust anybody except for myself. And I really want to work with you. Dad." I thought he sounded almost serious.
"We've already had this discussion before, Augustus." I frowned, disturbingly. I sent you to London to study business because it's safe and healthy out there." I said sternly.
"Yeah, yeah, right." He sighed dreamily. "But what you do sounds badass to me. I totally wanna do it."
"It's not that easy, son." I closed my eyes. I didn't want to have this conversation with him again.
"No?" He scoffed. "Just walk around with a gun. Intimidate anyone who'd bother you. Make money. Lots of money. Fuck a lot of bitches. That sounds easy breezy to me." He rapped and I imagined him with a playful look on his face.
"A very simplified and plain version of what's happening, from a hormonal kid's point of view," I said smiling weakly.
"Hey, I'm not a kid!" He protested uselessly.
"I'm hanging up on you, Gust." I said with a smirk and hung up on him while he rambled on about how much he 'loved' me.
I liked to always tell him I was hanging up on him so that I'd hear of how much he loved me. To me, he was the only promise that love still existed in my otherwise dull universe.
Quite so, he was everything left for me after Adriana- Augustus's mother died. I knew it wasn't right to have an affair with her, especially that I was married to Miguel- Julius's mother. And no, I actually didn't marry Miguel for her company.
I solemnly thought I loved her. But, I believed I didn't know what love really was. I didn't know how it was supposed to feel like or be. So I married her. Exchanged some vows. And had a boy. Julius.
But I watched Adriana every time I jogged in the morning. We talked once. Twice. Until we were jogging next to each other every day. We became closer and closer. It was out of my control. Even when I was making love to Miguel, all I thought about was how it would be if it were Adriana's body that was pressed against mine instead. How it would be if things were...different.
It wasn't one-sided and we both knew we had a weakness for each other. I loved her and Adriana loved me too.
Then came the day when she told me that she was pregnant and that she was so sorry. I wasn't angry as she expected I'd be. In fact, I was ecstatic. I was getting a piece of her. But she died from birth complications. She lost a lot of blood or something. I was, needless to say, devastated. But I had a boy to name and care for.
Augustus Alexander.
I thought I started hating Miguel for it. I didn't know why or what caused all that hatred against her. But I guess, if it weren't for Miguel, I would've spent more time with Adriana. I would've spent more time with the person I actually loved and cared about.
You must be thinking then, why didn't I divorce her. Well. When I thought I had Adriana as my lover, I thought the only thing that was missing was, obviously, money. So I kept her for her company, only then.
By the time Augustus was here, Julius was already there. Just a few years older than him. Five years. I was angry simply because I had to spend all my time with Julius who was already spoiled with care from his mother, instead of a motherless baby who had to spend his childhood with a babysitter.
I never thought of abandoning Augustus for adoption whatsoever. He was my love and got Adriana's eyes and lips.
When Miguel died of cancer, it was like a sign. I had the opportunity to finally stay with Augustus when he was just eleven. But her will was messed up. I had to stay with Julius.
Of course, I was furious. I couldn't bring the two boys to live together. I wouldn't want anything to disrupt Augustus's life. And definitely not the fact that he had a brother. He was just eleven and I wouldn't want him to think that I cheated on his mother or any of that.
I channelled all my anger in Gorj. Making it a great, prestigious company. Julius lived with me. He lived my hard life and I honestly did not care.
I agreed with the fact that his mother did a great job in maintaining Gorj and its reputation. But business is dirty. When things didn't go my way, they just had to. So many times have I sent Julius to sleep with a couple of women to get a good ass deal from them. Or sent him to threaten a couple of people into withdrawing from competitions. Or sent him to break open their skulls and kill them if absolutely necessary.
I taught him hard that 'Kill for Gorj' was his motto. Why? Because I believed that ending a person's life is the worst thing one could possibly do. So if killing was permitted for Gorj, so was every other thing possible.
I didn't want Augustus to live that life. He wasn't fit for it. I wanted him to grow like Adriana would want him to be. I didn't think she would like it if I involved him in this. Yes, I might have asked him to do trivial things -like looking for Julius, buying me weapons and asking questions- just to make him think that I valued him more than anyone or anything else.
But he didn't know what he'd be up against if I let him in. He was a soft boy like his mother. He might've looked intimidating, but he was the farthest from that. I already swore an oath to myself to never involve him in my way of life. Because he was just so precious to me and I couldn't afford to lose him and his purity. And in my business, there were a lot of risks, including people's lives. Obviously.
I reached for my bedside table and took a sleeping pill.
Today I felt like sleeping.
***
A/N: That was an exposing chapter I think. What do you think?
Lots of love and appreciation. <3
Augustus"Now how did you know that it was me? Seriously-" I said bemusedly, looking at her smiling face."Well? Isn't it obvious?" She said as her lips curled upwards. Seeing that I didn't answer, she carried on. "It's your smell. Maybe if you'd change your cigarettes, perfume, shaving cream and shampoo, I wouldn't know you."I looked at her and nodded with a smile. "That's impressive," I said sincerely as let my eyes study her. She was wearing all black like last time."Where are my earphones though?" She asked, fumbling with her fingers."Oh, those broke."She nodded silently. "Thank you." She stated after a while."For what?" I asked puzzled. And yes, I was actually very confused. I didn't recall doing anything decent ever since my feet landed in London."For caring." At that, I raised my eyebrows and suppressed a snicker. "Not many people would care enough to ensure other people's safety or whatever. So thank you." She smiled as her hand found my hand, patted it twice and then withdrew.And then -oh- I recalled saving her from the bloody rapists a few days ago."So-" I started, clearing my throat, to decrease how awkward it had become due to her gratitude which I couldn't respond to. "-how old are you?"I thought that this question was the question. The one that would start up a conversation, which I, by the way, found particularly amusing. I mean why did I want to converse with a blind, music-loving girl?But she turned to me and grinned. "I'm twenty-four." She then smiled. "I'll actually turn twenty-four tomorrow."I raised my eyebrows. "Well, now you have an early, happy birthday, from me in case we never meet again."She laughed gracefully as her slender fingers of both her hands intertwined together. She pulled her fingers apart. My eyes lingered on her fingers. "Thanks, stranger." She added playfully.I then looked in her direction with a faint smile. "Who will you be spending it with?""What do you mean?" She whispered for some reason and leaned in closer as if that'd make her understand me better."I meant will you, for example, spend it with your friends? Your boyfriend-" I was actually spending some effort to keep up a conversation with her. I mean, blimey, she did manage to awake my curiosity.She laughed, cutting me off. "Oh. Nah. I don't have any of those." She waved a dismissive hand. "I'll be spending it with my aunt Amanda and her daughter.""You don't have friends?" I asked actually shocked. A person like her, I thought, would befriend the bloody stones she walked on if she could. I mean, remember how she introduced herself?"Well. I'm not exactly in a...state to make friends with people. I won't be of any use, you know. In other words, I'll be a burden, not a friend." She said nonchalantly smiling."You're-" I paused, studying her curiously. "-you're okay about that?""Well. Yes. I've been okay with that for six years. It's no big deal I promise." She said grinning and turning her head towards me. And I remember being very amused about this. About her ability to befriend her loneliness and accept her disability so easily. I mean, hell, I thought all the people I'd meet would be whining about boyfriends and disturbing, God- incredibly disturbing drama.I was actually 'happy' to have found a mature person. Like it actually made me oddly happy. I wanted to laugh at my ridiculousness."Well," I said with a smile playing on my lips. "Do you-" I said hesitantly. "Do you want to spend your birthday with a friend?"After the question slipped out, I realized that being 'happy' had a side effect on me. A side effect called stupidity, if you're well aware of it. Because that was what my question meant.She grinned. "I would love to. I mean, I could only imagine."I looked at her and was amused to find my lips curl involuntarily into a smile. A. Bloody. Wide. Smile. Talk about mawkish. However, I couldn't deny that her strength made me admire her."Well. Would you like to spend it with me tomorrow?" I asked not thinking twice and actually not regretting it. My curiosity had piqued and I wanted to actually know her more.She gasped looking at me, then laughed bringing her hand to her mouth. A foolish grin, aroused by the sound of her laughter, spread on my face."Why, but I don't know you, Julius Caesar." She said, raising an eyebrow playfully. "You could be a paedophile for all I know."I chuckled bemusedly. "Do I sound like a paedophile to you? I'm just twenty-five." I said and she smiled slowly. "So? Are you in?"She nodded slowly. "Just because I literally blindly trust you."I grinned at that and averted my gaze to the ground, then diverted it back up at her face with a faint smile and small bubble of excitement in my throat."Okay, then. Let's meet at ten in the morning in the park." I observed her face for any sign of discomfort, but her smile only seemed to get wider. "Then we'll celebrate together."She shook her head and laughed again. "I seriously can't believe I'm doing this, but okay." She breathed, biting down on her lower lip."Then, give me your phone number," I said smoothly and she dictated it to me with a smile as I saved it on my phone."What will we do though?" She asked curiously, clasping her hands together."I honestly don't know." I breathed out confidently for some reason. I knew that it'd be fine to tell her this- she wouldn't weave unnecessary drama. In fact, she smiled. "But-" I added. "-I'll figure it out by tomorrow," I announced with a smirk and she laughed again. And I stared at her as her laughter settled into a light chuckle, then a satisfied, soft sigh."Okay. Will do." She then said and I inhaled."Great." I smiled. "Oh, and you should change out of the black you're always wearing. Wear something colourful."Her smiling lips twitched as she nodded and looked away.Oh. Well.Her phone then rang, startling both of us out of the comfortable silence that managed to settle between us. A mechanical woman's voice announced the caller's name as Amanda- her aunt.She then got up and looked down at a point next to me with a smile."Looks like I have to go. Bianca- my aunt's daughter- has a doctor's appointment and I have to be there for her." She said pleasantly.I then got up and stood in front of her. "It's okay.""Thank you so much again.""It's nothing, really. I'll see you tomorrow, yes?"She nodded vigorously, grinning as her shoulder-length, black hair fluttered around her face. She tightened her black, woollen scarf around her neck then held her cane."Bye." She said firmly with a shy smile before leaving me alone.---I returned to the motel at about twenty-one hundred hours, after stopping at Augustus's to return his car and thank him.I stepped in and found Sam still in her clothes, sitting on my bed and doing absolutely nothing. I quickly closed the door and approached her sighing."I thought I told you to settle in," I said softly and she looked at me speechless."I-I couldn't just do what I want. It's not right." She said simply, playing with her fingers."It's good you didn't unpack though," I said, pursing my lips. "Because we're moving tomorrow. If my fath- those who are looking for you found you, they probably traced me too." I cleared my throat and scolded myself for the mistake I almost committed.Sam nodded stiffly as I watched her closely and noticed how nervous she actually was."How about you change into some pyjamas or something practical while I take a quick shower?" I suggested, breaking the silence between us.She took a deep breath, then nodded slowly, her gaze fixated on the floor. "Yeah. I should do that."I cocked my head, studied her more and headed to the washroom. A quick shower later, I was out in a plain white shirt and grey sweatpants. I preferred practicality over anything. I then found Sam in some pink pyjamas and a high ponytail searching the refrigerator. Which was, my dear friends, empty. I didn't even remember to eat these days."You have absolutely nothing in here," Sam stated, straightening up and looking at me."Yes. I will do the grocery sometime soon." I said callously, laying down on my bed, switching on the TV and lighting a cigarette. "Maybe, yo-""WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Sam shrieked out of nowhere, making me almost drop the cigarette in shock.I glared at her, appalled."I-uh- am sorry." She then said quickly, running a hand through her hair and looking down momentarily. "I just have a severe allergy to smoke. Asthma." She said, closing the refrigerator. "Would you please not smoke in here?"I looked at her still shocked. "Certainly. All you had to do is ask. Christ." I muttered under my breath setting my lighter and dead cigarette on the bedside table."I want to sleep." Sam then said immediately, catching my attention. I sighed."Then, sleep?" I muttered with a slight shrug, looked back at the TV and flipped the channels."Where?" She asked hesitantly and I glanced at her quickly before looking back at the TV."Here? On the bed?" I said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.It was quite obvious, I thought."Sleep next to you? No way!" She made a face at which I smirked."And why not? It's not like you have an alternative. The floor is, I guess, worse than me. I don't even know when was the last time they cleaned it." I added nonchalantly."Aren't you like supposed to like sacrifice and sleep on the floor for me to sleep on the bed?" She said and I looked at her. I then raised my eyebrows.Well, I did read about that, but, needless to say, theatrics never really got to me."Um...No?" I said with a subtle head shake. "If the bed can fit both of us, why should I sacrifice? Besides, it's not like I'd do anything to you. Therefore, I recommend you to get your mind out of the gutters. Seriously, Sam." I continued with a playful smirk.Sam gasped. "That wasn't-" She narrowed her eyes at me and I tilted my head in triumph. She then walked to my bed with resignation and laid down carefully, covering herself with the bed's covers.It wasn't for another hour before I, too, switched off the TV and slept next to her. A hand on my gun.---Alexander's POV."What do you mean you got distracted?!" I said angrily on the phone."I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again, I swear-I promise." Philip stuttered and I decided to take a deep, calming breath."Julius is not stupid." I snapped. "A day late is a second away from him knowing what's up. Do you understand? Do not underestimate him!" I shouted and heard Philip sigh wearily."We aren't underestimating him, Alexander. We know he isn't easy. That's why we can't have him until now." He surprised me by using my name, but it indicated his sincerity. He was the only one from all my men, who could use my name. He had proved his loyalty several times for many years.I smirked in satisfaction. "Okay. Whatever. He better be at my feet by tomorrow.""We'll try." He said and I clenched my fists."You better have him tomorrow. Philips." I then hung up on the phone, annoyed at the fact that they got distracted over booze instead of looking for the girl and my pathetic excuse of a son.A bunch of bloody, time-wasting idiots.I quickly then dialled Augustus's number. I knew that hearing his voice would help me relax. He answered immediately."Heyyo, Daddy!" His voice blared in my phone's speakers and I shut my eyes in satisfaction."Hello, son. How are you?" I asked with a heavy sigh."Just great! How are you? You literally sound like shit."I shook my head smiling."It's Philip, isn't it?" He then asked. "Well, if only you would bring me to work with you instead of him. I swear, I'd do you better." He continued and my smile fell."No. You wouldn't want to be here, trust me. It's not good." I said wearily. "We've-""I don't trust anybody except for myself. And I really want to work with you. Dad." I thought he sounded almost serious."We've already had this discussion before, Augustus." I frowned, disturbingly. I sent you to London to study business because it's safe and healthy out there." I said sternly."Yeah, yeah, right." He sighed dreamily. "But what you do sounds badass to me. I totally wanna do it.""It's not that easy, son." I closed my eyes. I didn't want to have this conversation with him again."No?" He scoffed. "Just walk around with a gun. Intimidate anyone who'd bother you. Make money. Lots of money. Fuck a lot of bitches. That sounds easy breezy to me." He rapped and I imagined him with a playful look on his face."A very simplified and plain version of what's happening, from a hormonal kid's point of view," I said smiling weakly."Hey, I'm not a kid!" He protested uselessly."I'm hanging up on you, Gust." I said with a smirk and hung up on him while he rambled on about how much he 'loved' me.I liked to always tell him I was hanging up on him so that I'd hear of how much he loved me. To me, he was the only promise that love still existed in my otherwise dull universe.Quite so, he was everything left for me after Adriana- Augustus's mother died. I knew it wasn't right to have an affair with her, especially that I was married to Miguel- Julius's mother. And no, I actually didn't marry Miguel for her company.I solemnly thought I loved her. But, I believed I didn't know what love really was. I didn't know how it was supposed to feel like or be. So I married her. Exchanged some vows. And had a boy. Julius.But I watched Adriana every time I jogged in the morning. We talked once. Twice. Until we were jogging next to each other every day. We became closer and closer. It was out of my control. Even when I was making love to Miguel, all I thought about was how it would be if it were Adriana's body that was pressed against mine instead. How it would be if things were...different.It wasn't one-sided and we both knew we had a weakness for each other. I loved her and Adriana loved me too.Then came the day when she told me that she was pregnant and that she was so sorry. I wasn't angry as she expected I'd be. In fact, I was ecstatic. I was getting a piece of her. But she died from birth complications. She lost a lot of blood or something. I was, needless to say, devastated. But I had a boy to name and care for.Augustus Alexander.I thought I started hating Miguel for it. I didn't know why or what caused all that hatred against her. But I guess, if it weren't for Miguel, I would've spent more time with Adriana. I would've spent more time with the person I actually loved and cared about.You must be thinking then, why didn't I divorce her. Well. When I thought I had Adriana as my lover, I thought the only thing that was missing was, obviously, money. So I kept her for her company, only then.By the time Augustus was here, Julius was already there. Just a few years older than him. Five years. I was angry simply because I had to spend all my time with Julius who was already spoiled with care from his mother, instead of a motherless baby who had to spend his childhood with a babysitter.I never thought of abandoning Augustus for adoption whatsoever. He was my love and got Adriana's eyes and lips.When Miguel died of cancer, it was like a sign. I had the opportunity to finally stay with Augustus when he was just eleven. But her will was messed up. I had to stay with Julius.Of course, I was furious. I couldn't bring the two boys to live together. I wouldn't want anything to disrupt Augustus's life. And definitely not the fact that he had a brother. He was just eleven and I wouldn't want him to think that I cheated on his mother or any of that.I channelled all my anger in Gorj. Making it a great, prestigious company. Julius lived with me. He lived my hard life and I honestly did not care.I agreed with the fact that his mother did a great job in maintaining Gorj and its reputation. But business is dirty. When things didn't go my way, they just had to. So many times have I sent Julius to sleep with a couple of women to get a good ass deal from them. Or sent him to threaten a couple of people into withdrawing from competitions. Or sent him to break open their skulls and kill them if absolutely necessary.I taught him hard that 'Kill for Gorj' was his motto. Why? Because I believed that ending a person's life is the worst thing one could possibly do. So if killing was permitted for Gorj, so was every other thing possible.I didn't want Augustus to live that life. He wasn't fit for it. I wanted him to grow like Adriana would want him to be. I didn't think she would like it if I involved him in this. Yes, I might have asked him to do trivial things -like looking for Julius, buying me weapons and asking questions- just to make him think that I valued him more than anyone or anything else.But he didn't know what he'd be up against if I let him in. He was a soft boy like his mother. He might've looked intimidating, but he was the farthest from that. I already swore an oath to myself to never involve him in my way of life. Because he was just so precious to me and I couldn't afford to lose him and his purity. And in my business, there were a lot of risks, including people's lives. Obviously.I reached for my bedside table and took a sleeping pill.Today I felt like sleeping.***A/N: That was an exposing chapter I think. What do you think?Lots of love and appreciation. 3
