Chapter 157
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Xing who had decided to meet the Gods decided to do it that day itself. For some reason, she had that uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach as if she was missing something.
Xing might be clueless sometimes but she could understand people's emotions really well. She could catch that little nuances in their expressions they leave while interacting with her. Shengli seemed distant from her for some reason and even the Emperor was more sad than happy to see her. She saw that same expression from her brother too.
Morning of the new year came with the sun shining over the snow and Shengli had left to meet with Lin Mubai and the Emperor was in the morning court leaving Xing in her thoughts.
Xing was in the bath area in the Emperor's courtyard with Xu mama helping her to wash up and she saw the clear water in front of her and it reminded her of the underworld and the soup of forgetfulness she almost drank. She decided to not dwell much on it and let bygones be bygones. At least I got back!
She closed her eyes and let Xu mama wash her hair but the thought of meeting gods made her remember the years she spent in the Netherworld with no one to help her. With each day passing, her hope drained and she had to put up with the persistent nagging of King Yan to succumb to his wishes each day. She really tried to hold on but she couldn't!
If the Gods cared enough to not send her to the next life, why did they let her go through years of torture there? True, she knew God's won't interfere in other's domains and no one bothers the God of Death, still...
The more Xing was alone thinking about these things the more she felt heavy hearted. I can't live with Shengli and I won't be allowed to die either... And yet there are more powerful beings against me and I have no one by my side who could protect me...
Xing didn't tell Shengli everything that happened in the Netherworld knowing hell feel bad. She only said some moderate things happened there and just that the god of death looked at her weirdly. She didn't want to make him feel guilty for not protecting her. It was not his fault and he couldn't have done anything to save her either.
Since her entire courtyard had burned leaving nothing, her father sent some clothes for her and she changed into it and Shengli arrived and for some reason she felt like he's been distant from her now.
Even after telling him everything happened, is he holding what I did by entering the palace against me? Will he find me sullied and leave me? Xing! Don't think nonsense. He would never abandon you!
Xing was saddened and she was crying in her heart with her various thoughts. She took a deep breath to control her emotions and put on her smiling face so as to not make him worry.
What she didn't know was Shengli was crying tearlessly too and he was keeping his distance away from her to conceal his feelings of sadness and guilt from her. He was chiding himself for leaving her alone to meet Shihong for his own sake. He was fine to be with her in the dim lights and the darkness of the night that could conceal his emotions but was too scared to face her in the bright morning.
He tried to consider it as nothing but his heart could not take it as nothing. Turns out unknown to him his heart had wanted to have children with her too just as much as she wanted to have children with him. Only when it sank in his brain that he cannot have little ones looking just like her, did he felt that painful feeling in his heart that felt like his heart was being ripped to pieces everytime he sees her. That fact is hurting him as much as it would hurt her.
How could I not want a family with her!
Both of them ate breakfast together and both of them didn't speak much. Xing didn't mind it much as she was worried what the Gods might say.
When the Emperor returned from court, the three of them went together to the temple of the Wind God as Consort Shu mentioned he'd be there previously.
"What are you hiding from me?", Xing asked softly to Shengli on the way to the temple. He was holding her hands as usual and his hands were warm and his hold gentle as usual and he was walking in the same pace as her.
Nothing was different from his demeanour except the fact that he refused to look her in the eye. Throughout the night he was hugging her and refused to look at her too, except sometimes.
Xing decided to let it go because she felt like he was happy to meet her again but she could not keep shut as she felt her heart squeeze because of her doubts and she asked it out loud. The Emperor was walking five steps behind them and he had no chance of hearing their conversation.
Shengli turned to look at her and Xing could see the pain and sorrow in his eyes as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Nothing that matters much, Xing! ", he replied and his grip on her hands tightened as if he was feeling insecure. "Don't think unnecessary things", he kissed her forehead and Xing didn't know what to ask of him anymore.
"Here", Shengli gave a package and she saw a bunch of sweet buns inside. "Don't you give it to that tiger god always?"
Xing pursed her lips seeing those buns and wondered why Shengli had such sudden interest in offering sweet buns to that god when previously he was just indifferent. She herself didn't want to give it to the god who didn't help her even a bit when she needed it
She got it and took one bun for herself and started eating and decided to share it with the Emperor when she remembered that his spell did save her from that lecher King Yan and decided to give thise sweet buns to that tiger god.
Shengli's thoughts were simple. It's not wrong to have a good relationship with that god if she would be protected by him in the future too.
Xing saw the temple from a distance and it had a wall surrounding it. Is that the border that is keeping the Gods away? She thought and as they got closer, she saw the entire area around the temple looked like a hurricane passed through it.
Don't tell me... Fei Lian threw a tantrum because he could not enter the palace yesterday when my courtyard burned... If he was that worried, why didn't he get me out from the Netherworld? And why did the protection spell he put on me work in the Netherworld when that god tried to attack me but not when Shihong attacked me?
Xing and Shengli tried to step foot inside the temple crossing the threshold of the gate when they were stopped by Consort Shu.
"Miss Huang, with your condition like this, you cannot enter a holy place. You must be aware it is taboo ", she pointed her stomach.
Xing felt like Shengli flinching when Consort Shu pointed at her stomach and his hands started to sweat.
Why is he scared just because she mentioned my periods? Xing wondered. She knew it is a long tradition that women cannot enter the temples during those days from her reading books recently.
Xing looked at the condescending, rude and capituous Consort in front of her and she wasn't in the mood to squabble with her and entered the temple ignoring her followed by Shengli.
"How dare you?", Consort Shu tried to push her out, when the doors of the temple building opened suddenly. An incense burner flew from inside the temple right at Consort Shu.
The Emperor didn't have much time to react when Xing just came in between the incense burner and Consort Shu and the incense burner fell down with a thunk with Xing doing nothing.
Xing rolled her eyes and snorted, 'How brave of the great God of Wind to defend me from a woman much weaker than me when he could do nothing when I was in the Netherworld needing help!'
"Get in... Alone", Fei Lian stood in front of the temple in his tiger form and Xing could see various emotions in his face.
Xing ignored the God and turned to Consort Shu, "Wait outside", she sent her out.
"Get in", Fei Lian repeated and Xing just stared back at him only to be greeted with a strong gust of Wind sent as a warning from the god for angering him.
"Not coming in alone", Xing who was unfazed by his anger, pointed at Shengli and the Emperor meaning that she won't come inside the temple without them both.
The Emperor behind her and Consort Shu who was peeping from outside, who has seen a God for the first time were flabbergasted by the aura of the God and was shocked by Xing's attitude towards him. Isn't she too relaxed?
Fei Lian got to his human form, gave a glare at her and walked back into the temple without saying a word and Xing asked Shengli and the Emperor to come inside the temple with her.
Shengli walked beside her confidently as he knew that the Gods won't hurt him. The Emperor on the other hand felt his knees weak and his steps slowed with each step closer to the temple.
Seeing the Emperor being reluctant to enter, Xing turned and patted his shoulder, "Your Majesty! Don't worry, I'll Protect you!"
The Emperor saw her eye focusing on his and her pursed lips and knew she was serious and nodded. His fear till now to meet those supreme beings who are worshiped as Gods by the humans vanished by her assurance.
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Xing who had decided to meet the Gods decided to do it that day itself. For some reason, she had that uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach as if she was missing something.
Xing might be clueless sometimes but she could understand people's emotions really well. She could catch that little nuances in their expressions they leave while interacting with her. Shengli seemed distant from her for some reason and even the Emperor was more sad than happy to see her. She saw that same expression from her brother too.
Morning of the new year came with the sun shining over the snow and Shengli had left to meet with Lin Mubai and the Emperor was in the morning court leaving Xing in her thoughts.
Xing was in the bath area in the Emperor's courtyard with Xu mama helping her to wash up and she saw the clear water in front of her and it reminded her of the underworld and the soup of forgetfulness she almost drank. She decided to not dwell much on it and let bygones be bygones. At least I got back!
She closed her eyes and let Xu mama wash her hair but the thought of meeting gods made her remember the years she spent in the Netherworld with no one to help her. With each day passing, her hope drained and she had to put up with the persistent nagging of King Yan to succumb to his wishes each day. She really tried to hold on but she couldn't!
If the Gods cared enough to not send her to the next life, why did they let her go through years of torture there? True, she knew God's won't interfere in other's domains and no one bothers the God of Death, still...
The more Xing was alone thinking about these things the more she felt heavy hearted. I can't live with Shengli and I won't be allowed to die either... And yet there are more powerful beings against me and I have no one by my side who could protect me...
Xing didn't tell Shengli everything that happened in the Netherworld knowing hell feel bad. She only said some moderate things happened there and just that the god of death looked at her weirdly. She didn't want to make him feel guilty for not protecting her. It was not his fault and he couldn't have done anything to save her either.
Since her entire courtyard had burned leaving nothing, her father sent some clothes for her and she changed into it and Shengli arrived and for some reason she felt like he's been distant from her now.
Even after telling him everything happened, is he holding what I did by entering the palace against me? Will he find me sullied and leave me? Xing! Don't think nonsense. He would never abandon you!
Xing was saddened and she was crying in her heart with her various thoughts. She took a deep breath to control her emotions and put on her smiling face so as to not make him worry.
What she didn't know was Shengli was crying tearlessly too and he was keeping his distance away from her to conceal his feelings of sadness and guilt from her. He was chiding himself for leaving her alone to meet Shihong for his own sake. He was fine to be with her in the dim lights and the darkness of the night that could conceal his emotions but was too scared to face her in the bright morning.
He tried to consider it as nothing but his heart could not take it as nothing. Turns out unknown to him his heart had wanted to have children with her too just as much as she wanted to have children with him. Only when it sank in his brain that he cannot have little ones looking just like her, did he felt that painful feeling in his heart that felt like his heart was being ripped to pieces everytime he sees her. That fact is hurting him as much as it would hurt her.
How could I not want a family with her!
Both of them ate breakfast together and both of them didn't speak much. Xing didn't mind it much as she was worried what the Gods might say.
When the Emperor returned from court, the three of them went together to the temple of the Wind God as Consort Shu mentioned he'd be there previously.
"What are you hiding from me?", Xing asked softly to Shengli on the way to the temple. He was holding her hands as usual and his hands were warm and his hold gentle as usual and he was walking in the same pace as her.
Nothing was different from his demeanour except the fact that he refused to look her in the eye. Throughout the night he was hugging her and refused to look at her too, except sometimes.
Xing decided to let it go because she felt like he was happy to meet her again but she could not keep shut as she felt her heart squeeze because of her doubts and she asked it out loud. The Emperor was walking five steps behind them and he had no chance of hearing their conversation.
Shengli turned to look at her and Xing could see the pain and sorrow in his eyes as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Nothing that matters much, Xing! ", he replied and his grip on her hands tightened as if he was feeling insecure. "Don't think unnecessary things", he kissed her forehead and Xing didn't know what to ask of him anymore.
"Here", Shengli gave a package and she saw a bunch of sweet buns inside. "Don't you give it to that tiger god always?"
Xing pursed her lips seeing those buns and wondered why Shengli had such sudden interest in offering sweet buns to that god when previously he was just indifferent. She herself didn't want to give it to the god who didn't help her even a bit when she needed it
She got it and took one bun for herself and started eating and decided to share it with the Emperor when she remembered that his spell did save her from that lecher King Yan and decided to give thise sweet buns to that tiger god.
Shengli's thoughts were simple. It's not wrong to have a good relationship with that god if she would be protected by him in the future too.
Xing saw the temple from a distance and it had a wall surrounding it. Is that the border that is keeping the Gods away? She thought and as they got closer, she saw the entire area around the temple looked like a hurricane passed through it.
Don't tell me... Fei Lian threw a tantrum because he could not enter the palace yesterday when my courtyard burned... If he was that worried, why didn't he get me out from the Netherworld? And why did the protection spell he put on me work in the Netherworld when that god tried to attack me but not when Shihong attacked me?
Xing and Shengli tried to step foot inside the temple crossing the threshold of the gate when they were stopped by Consort Shu.
"Miss Huang, with your condition like this, you cannot enter a holy place. You must be aware it is taboo ", she pointed her stomach.
Xing felt like Shengli flinching when Consort Shu pointed at her stomach and his hands started to sweat.
Why is he scared just because she mentioned my periods? Xing wondered. She knew it is a long tradition that women cannot enter the temples during those days from her reading books recently.
Xing looked at the condescending, rude and capituous Consort in front of her and she wasn't in the mood to squabble with her and entered the temple ignoring her followed by Shengli.
"How dare you?", Consort Shu tried to push her out, when the doors of the temple building opened suddenly. An incense burner flew from inside the temple right at Consort Shu.
The Emperor didn't have much time to react when Xing just came in between the incense burner and Consort Shu and the incense burner fell down with a thunk with Xing doing nothing.
Xing rolled her eyes and snorted, 'How brave of the great God of Wind to defend me from a woman much weaker than me when he could do nothing when I was in the Netherworld needing help!'
"Get in... Alone", Fei Lian stood in front of the temple in his tiger form and Xing could see various emotions in his face.
Xing ignored the God and turned to Consort Shu, "Wait outside", she sent her out.
"Get in", Fei Lian repeated and Xing just stared back at him only to be greeted with a strong gust of Wind sent as a warning from the god for angering him.
"Not coming in alone", Xing who was unfazed by his anger, pointed at Shengli and the Emperor meaning that she won't come inside the temple without them both.
The Emperor behind her and Consort Shu who was peeping from outside, who has seen a God for the first time were flabbergasted by the aura of the God and was shocked by Xing's attitude towards him. Isn't she too relaxed?
Fei Lian got to his human form, gave a glare at her and walked back into the temple without saying a word and Xing asked Shengli and the Emperor to come inside the temple with her.
Shengli walked beside her confidently as he knew that the Gods won't hurt him. The Emperor on the other hand felt his knees weak and his steps slowed with each step closer to the temple.
Seeing the Emperor being reluctant to enter, Xing turned and patted his shoulder, "Your Majesty! Don't worry, I'll Protect you!"
The Emperor saw her eye focusing on his and her pursed lips and knew she was serious and nodded. His fear till now to meet those supreme beings who are worshiped as Gods by the humans vanished by her assurance.
Xing who had decided to meet the Gods decided to do it that day itself. For some reason, she had that uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach as if she was missing something. Xing might be clueless sometimes but she could understand people's emotions really well. She could catch that little nuances in their expressions they leave while interacting with her. Shengli seemed distant from her for some reason and even the Emperor was more sad than happy to see her. She saw that same expression from her brother too. Morning of the new year came with the sun shining over the snow and Shengli had left to meet with Lin Mubai and the Emperor was in the morning court leaving Xing in her thoughts. Xing was in the bath area in the Emperor's courtyard with Xu mama helping her to wash up and she saw the clear water in front of her and it reminded her of the underworld and the soup of forgetfulness she almost drank. She decided to not dwell much on it and let bygones be bygones. At least I got back! She closed her eyes and let Xu mama wash her hair but the thought of meeting gods made her remember the years she spent in the Netherworld with no one to help her. With each day passing, her hope drained and she had to put up with the persistent nagging of King Yan to succumb to his wishes each day. She really tried to hold on but she couldn't! If the Gods cared enough to not send her to the next life, why did they let her go through years of torture there? True, she knew God's won't interfere in other's domains and no one bothers the God of Death, still... The more Xing was alone thinking about these things the more she felt heavy hearted. I can't live with Shengli and I won't be allowed to die either... And yet there are more powerful beings against me and I have no one by my side who could protect me... Xing didn't tell Shengli everything that happened in the Netherworld knowing hell feel bad. She only said some moderate things happened there and just that the god of death looked at her weirdly. She didn't want to make him feel guilty for not protecting her. It was not his fault and he couldn't have done anything to save her either. Since her entire courtyard had burned leaving nothing, her father sent some clothes for her and she changed into it and Shengli arrived and for some reason she felt like he's been distant from her now. Even after telling him everything happened, is he holding what I did by entering the palace against me? Will he find me sullied and leave me? Xing! Don't think nonsense. He would never abandon you! Xing was saddened and she was crying in her heart with her various thoughts. She took a deep breath to control her emotions and put on her smiling face so as to not make him worry. What she didn't know was Shengli was crying tearlessly too and he was keeping his distance away from her to conceal his feelings of sadness and guilt from her. He was chiding himself for leaving her alone to meet Shihong for his own sake. He was fine to be with her in the dim lights and the darkness of the night that could conceal his emotions but was too scared to face her in the bright morning. He tried to consider it as nothing but his heart could not take it as nothing. Turns out unknown to him his heart had wanted to have children with her too just as much as she wanted to have children with him. Only when it sank in his brain that he cannot have little ones looking just like her, did he felt that painful feeling in his heart that felt like his heart was being ripped to pieces everytime he sees her. That fact is hurting him as much as it would hurt her. How could I not want a family with her! Both of them ate breakfast together and both of them didn't speak much. Xing didn't mind it much as she was worried what the Gods might say. When the Emperor returned from court, the three of them went together to the temple of the Wind God as Consort Shu mentioned he'd be there previously. "What are you hiding from me?", Xing asked softly to Shengli on the way to the temple. He was holding her hands as usual and his hands were warm and his hold gentle as usual and he was walking in the same pace as her. Nothing was different from his demeanour except the fact that he refused to look her in the eye. Throughout the night he was hugging her and refused to look at her too, except sometimes. Xing decided to let it go because she felt like he was happy to meet her again but she could not keep shut as she felt her heart squeeze because of her doubts and she asked it out loud. The Emperor was walking five steps behind them and he had no chance of hearing their conversation. Shengli turned to look at her and Xing could see the pain and sorrow in his eyes as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Nothing that matters much, Xing! ", he replied and his grip on her hands tightened as if he was feeling insecure. "Don't think unnecessary things", he kissed her forehead and Xing didn't know what to ask of him anymore. "Here", Shengli gave a package and she saw a bunch of sweet buns inside. "Don't you give it to that tiger god always?" Xing pursed her lips seeing those buns and wondered why Shengli had such sudden interest in offering sweet buns to that god when previously he was just indifferent. She herself didn't want to give it to the god who didn't help her even a bit when she needed it She got it and took one bun for herself and started eating and decided to share it with the Emperor when she remembered that his spell did save her from that lecher King Yan and decided to give thise sweet buns to that tiger god. Shengli's thoughts were simple. It's not wrong to have a good relationship with that god if she would be protected by him in the future too. Xing saw the temple from a distance and it had a wall surrounding it. Is that the border that is keeping the Gods away? She thought and as they got closer, she saw the entire area around the temple looked like a hurricane passed through it. Don't tell me... Fei Lian threw a tantrum because he could not enter the palace yesterday when my courtyard burned... If he was that worried, why didn't he get me out from the Netherworld? And why did the protection spell he put on me work in the Netherworld when that god tried to attack me but not when Shihong attacked me? Xing and Shengli tried to step foot inside the temple crossing the threshold of the gate when they were stopped by Consort Shu. "Miss Huang, with your condition like this, you cannot enter a holy place. You must be aware it is taboo ", she pointed her stomach. Xing felt like Shengli flinching when Consort Shu pointed at her stomach and his hands started to sweat. Why is he scared just because she mentioned my periods? Xing wondered. She knew it is a long tradition that women cannot enter the temples during those days from her reading books recently. Xing looked at the condescending, rude and capituous Consort in front of her and she wasn't in the mood to squabble with her and entered the temple ignoring her followed by Shengli. "How dare you?", Consort Shu tried to push her out, when the doors of the temple building opened suddenly. An incense burner flew from inside the temple right at Consort Shu. The Emperor didn't have much time to react when Xing just came in between the incense burner and Consort Shu and the incense burner fell down with a thunk with Xing doing nothing. Xing rolled her eyes and snorted, 'How brave of the great God of Wind to defend me from a woman much weaker than me when he could do nothing when I was in the Netherworld needing help!' "Get in... Alone", Fei Lian stood in front of the temple in his tiger form and Xing could see various emotions in his face. Xing ignored the God and turned to Consort Shu, "Wait outside", she sent her out. "Get in", Fei Lian repeated and Xing just stared back at him only to be greeted with a strong gust of Wind sent as a warning from the god for angering him. "Not coming in alone", Xing who was unfazed by his anger, pointed at Shengli and the Emperor meaning that she won't come inside the temple without them both. The Emperor behind her and Consort Shu who was peeping from outside, who has seen a God for the first time were flabbergasted by the aura of the God and was shocked by Xing's attitude towards him. Isn't she too relaxed? Fei Lian got to his human form, gave a glare at her and walked back into the temple without saying a word and Xing asked Shengli and the Emperor to come inside the temple with her. Shengli walked beside her confidently as he knew that the Gods won't hurt him. The Emperor on the other hand felt his knees weak and his steps slowed with each step closer to the temple. Seeing the Emperor being reluctant to enter, Xing turned and patted his shoulder, "Your Majesty! Don't worry, I'll Protect you!" The Emperor saw her eye focusing on his and her pursed lips and knew she was serious and nodded. His fear till now to meet those supreme beings who are worshiped as Gods by the humans vanished by her assurance.
