Chapter 64
Cheng Jiayang
I stayed at home to recuperate. Most of the time, I was taking care of myself by making my own meals, bathed by myself and slept. I was glad my dad did not hit me so hard as to render me incapable of taking care of myself..
Two days later, Qiao Fei came back.
She saw me, asked me what happened. I said people played with me. She picked up the broom and wielded it like a stick, as if she was desperate for a fight.
I said, “It was my dad.”
She stopped and looked back at me and sat on the chair near the door.
I said, “ This is better, I had to make it clear to him.”
I walked over and hugged her with my bandaged arm.
She said: “Guess who accompanied me to Guangzhou this time?”
I thought about it: “My mother.”
“How can you always guess correctly ?”
“I am their son, and I’m your husband. You tell me how I can always guess correctly. Well, dividing and conquering is their usual level of operations. What did she tell you ?” I asked.
Fei stood up and poured water for herself , and said expressionlessly ,”It can be summarized in one word, coercion. She told me not to be with you, I was really impressed. ‘Qiao Fei,there is still time to rectify this.’ When she said this, I was smiling. Of course, she did not forget to remind me about my humble origin, my family background, and my former activities.”
She was still laughing, her tone relaxed. I could not laugh.
I was beaten up by my father, I faced him head-on and thought we had handled our conflicting views well. But if such things are imposed on Qiao Fei, I would feel a lot of resentment. On the other hand, I was not sure about Qiao Fei’s heart. Would she continue to feel the same ?
She took off her boots: “ She had no idea that your former fiancée had already told me these words. I was too lazy to answer, and finally I got impatient, and I told her,’ So be it, I know, but I cannot [give up on Cheng Jiayang].”
She looked at me, very calm, very firm: “Jia Yang, I will not be separated from you, we have been through too much.”
I kissed her , but was deflected by her: “No, you taste like wine.”
“Then I’ll chew some gum.”
She hugged me softly around my neck: “Don’t. Just this once, take a good rest.”
Qiao Fei took a bath and lay down in the bed to rest. I lay on her soft belly, the smell of her warm and sweet body enveloped me and I felt comfortable.
The dying rays of the sun cast a warm glow outside the windows. I felt like my life had no worries.
“Have you ever met Xiaohua?”
“Yep.”
“Have you spoken?”
“After the fire, I went to the hospital to see you. We met there, she scolded me for coming.”
“You came to the hospital?”
She cast a glance me: “You were already like that. How could I not go?”
“I was saying I seemed to have seen you there.”
“You saw me and also spoke to me.”
“Really?” I sat up and looked at her. “I thought I was dreaming. How come I didn’t hurt when I pinched myself ?”
“Of course you didn’t [feel any pain], you pinched me.”
I chuckled and Fei also laughed.
“What other things did you have to worry about after I gave my words to you? Why did you still go to Africa?”
Qiao Fei
Jia Yang’s mother had grasped quite a bit of my situation. With velvet gloves, she narrated a litany of all my past misdeeds, but only one sentence stabbed my heart like a knife.
“Qiao Fei, you love Jia Yang, but ask yourself- will you be able to give him a complete family? Can you give him a child ? In fact, you are thinking only about your own satisfaction, right ? So you are still selfish, don’t deny this.”
She was an elegant and beautiful woman, energetic, and taller than average. She patted my shoulder: “But I like selfish people who act more for their own consideration. They are more direct and it’s easier to discuss things with them.” She sat on the sofa opposite me . “ Qiao Fei, you tell me your price. How much will it take for you to let go of my son?”
I thought about it. “ It is better for you to start with a price. You tell me how much Jia Yang is worth.”
The woman stared at me . I said: “ Well, there you go. I will give you time to think about it. I told Jia Yang we will never be apart.”
I started fighting as soon as possible, but I was a coward. I was feeling upset when I flew back from Guangzhou. Along the way, I thought how Jia Yang’s mother seemed omniscient and omnipotent and felt shocked. On the other hand, her words also pricked my heart.I felt as if a very sensitive part of my heart had been exposed to the sun. I could not make a complete family.
Jia Yan said “I had to make amends to the seniors, what else did you have to worry about? Why did you go to Africa later?”
“Jia Yang,” I ruffled the hair on his forehead, “There is something, I have not told you.”
He looked at me: “Tell me.”
“The two of us, had a little child. This was before I had gone abroad, when I was studying at college.”
“I did not discuss with you, I took the initiative to have the child aborted.
During the surgery, there was an accident. Jia Yang, I may not have the opportunity to have children .
Jia Yang, I can not have a child with you.
So I want to go a little bit further, and say, I don’t deserve you.”
These were not just a few words, but it was really hard to say. My throat ached.
Jia Yang did not speak,he sat up, looked at me, and put his hands on my stomach. His hands were very warm.
He took me in his arms, gently asked: “At that time,did it hurt?”
“ A little bit”, I said.
“ A little bit?”, he asked .
Until now, I could still feel the cold table against my spine and the pale white bright light above, and also, that thread like sharp pain.
This may be the deepest pain in my heart. Whenever I think I lost Jia Yang’s child, I feel as if my heart was being gouged out from my body.
Jia Yang said: “You did not tell me because you didn’t want to make things difficult for me, right?”
He hugged me, kissed my forehead: “Fei, I let you suffer so much, in the future, you should never want to be separated from me. You let me take care of you.”
“I know that you like kids …”
“But we are together, because we want to be together, not to have children, do you understand this truth?”
I also hugged him, his face close to my body, “What you say is correct.”
“And, I think, the fact that we are together, it seems too good to be true. So if we have some little regrets, it just proves that God is fair and I feel more secure.”
I nodded enthusiastically .
I had hidden a big secret for a long time, and finally told Jia Yang today.I felt a lot better. It was as if I was walking with a heavy burden for a long time, and now that I had told him, I could unload the burden.
It was really that simple, now I could rely on this man who was like a big, flourishing, vibrant tree.
“Besides,Fei , you think about it, the two of us are educated and constantly enhancing our skills, but if we produce a small white boy, are we allowing others to live?” Jia Yang said.
“Yeah,” I thought he was right, we had to leave some room for others. “This is for ecological balance.”
“And if you do not have children, we do not have to quit smoking.You know, Xiao Liu, when he was about to be a dad, he had to quit smoking for three months.”
“Yeah, we do not have to control our drinking.”
“Hey, no contraception.”
“Wow haha, when do you want to do it?” I asked.
Jia Yang’s eyes were sparkling, he slowly pressed my body: “ Is now okay?”
“You are injured .” I touched his face, kissed him, and kissed him again .”Did it hurt?”
He scrunched his eyebrows and said, “I have endured even more pain.”
The next day at work, I was translating letters to the United Nations, when the director called me to his office. He told me that from then on I was suspended until Chinese New Year. After that, I was told to wait for further instructions from the personnel department.
Although I had long been mentally prepared , I was still a little dazed.
I took my own things to go out, thinking, What’s the big deal, I will beg for benevolence, I have no regrets.
Back home, Jia Yang saw me and asked: “Were you suspended?”
“Yes”
“I am too,” he said, “the Personnel Department called me today and told me not to come to work.”
Translated by miumiu
TL Checked and edited by Tranzgeek
Chapter 64
Cheng Jiayang
I stayed at home to recuperate. Most of the time, I was taking care of myself by making my own meals, bathed by myself and slept. I was glad my dad did not hit me so hard as to render me incapable of taking care of myself..
Two days later, Qiao Fei came back.
She saw me, asked me what happened. I said people played with me. She picked up the broom and wielded it like a stick, as if she was desperate for a fight.
I said, “It was my dad.”
She stopped and looked back at me and sat on the chair near the door.
I said, “ This is better, I had to make it clear to him.”
I walked over and hugged her with my bandaged arm.
She said: “Guess who accompanied me to Guangzhou this time?”
I thought about it: “My mother.”
“How can you always guess correctly ?”
“I am their son, and I’m your husband. You tell me how I can always guess correctly. Well, dividing and conquering is their usual level of operations. What did she tell you ?” I asked.
Fei stood up and poured water for herself , and said expressionlessly ,”It can be summarized in one word, coercion. She told me not to be with you, I was really impressed. ‘Qiao Fei,there is still time to rectify this.’ When she said this, I was smiling. Of course, she did not forget to remind me about my humble origin, my family background, and my former activities.”
She was still laughing, her tone relaxed. I could not laugh.
I was beaten up by my father, I faced him head-on and thought we had handled our conflicting views well. But if such things are imposed on Qiao Fei, I would feel a lot of resentment. On the other hand, I was not sure about Qiao Fei’s heart. Would she continue to feel the same ?
She took off her boots: “ She had no idea that your former fiancée had already told me these words. I was too lazy to answer, and finally I got impatient, and I told her,’ So be it, I know, but I cannot [give up on Cheng Jiayang].”
She looked at me, very calm, very firm: “Jia Yang, I will not be separated from you, we have been through too much.”
I kissed her , but was deflected by her: “No, you taste like wine.”
“Then I’ll chew some gum.”
She hugged me softly around my neck: “Don’t. Just this once, take a good rest.”
Qiao Fei took a bath and lay down in the bed to rest. I lay on her soft belly, the smell of her warm and sweet body enveloped me and I felt comfortable.
The dying rays of the sun cast a warm glow outside the windows. I felt like my life had no worries.
“Have you ever met Xiaohua?”
“Yep.”
“Have you spoken?”
“After the fire, I went to the hospital to see you. We met there, she scolded me for coming.”
“You came to the hospital?”
She cast a glance me: “You were already like that. How could I not go?”
“I was saying I seemed to have seen you there.”
“You saw me and also spoke to me.”
“Really?” I sat up and looked at her. “I thought I was dreaming. How come I didn’t hurt when I pinched myself ?”
“Of course you didn’t [feel any pain], you pinched me.”
I chuckled and Fei also laughed.
“What other things did you have to worry about after I gave my words to you? Why did you still go to Africa?”
Qiao Fei
Jia Yang’s mother had grasped quite a bit of my situation. With velvet gloves, she narrated a litany of all my past misdeeds, but only one sentence stabbed my heart like a knife.
“Qiao Fei, you love Jia Yang, but ask yourself- will you be able to give him a complete family? Can you give him a child ? In fact, you are thinking only about your own satisfaction, right ? So you are still selfish, don’t deny this.”
She was an elegant and beautiful woman, energetic, and taller than average. She patted my shoulder: “But I like selfish people who act more for their own consideration. They are more direct and it’s easier to discuss things with them.” She sat on the sofa opposite me . “ Qiao Fei, you tell me your price. How much will it take for you to let go of my son?”
I thought about it. “ It is better for you to start with a price. You tell me how much Jia Yang is worth.”
The woman stared at me . I said: “ Well, there you go. I will give you time to think about it. I told Jia Yang we will never be apart.”
I started fighting as soon as possible, but I was a coward. I was feeling upset when I flew back from Guangzhou. Along the way, I thought how Jia Yang’s mother seemed omniscient and omnipotent and felt shocked. On the other hand, her words also pricked my heart.I felt as if a very sensitive part of my heart had been exposed to the sun. I could not make a complete family.
Jia Yan said “I had to make amends to the seniors, what else did you have to worry about? Why did you go to Africa later?”
“Jia Yang,” I ruffled the hair on his forehead, “There is something, I have not told you.”
He looked at me: “Tell me.”
“The two of us, had a little child. This was before I had gone abroad, when I was studying at college.”
“I did not discuss with you, I took the initiative to have the child aborted.
During the surgery, there was an accident. Jia Yang, I may not have the opportunity to have children .
Jia Yang, I can not have a child with you.
So I want to go a little bit further, and say, I don’t deserve you.”
These were not just a few words, but it was really hard to say. My throat ached.
Jia Yang did not speak,he sat up, looked at me, and put his hands on my stomach. His hands were very warm.
He took me in his arms, gently asked: “At that time,did it hurt?”
“ A little bit”, I said.
“ A little bit?”, he asked .
Until now, I could still feel the cold table against my spine and the pale white bright light above, and also, that thread like sharp pain.
This may be the deepest pain in my heart. Whenever I think I lost Jia Yang’s child, I feel as if my heart was being gouged out from my body.
Jia Yang said: “You did not tell me because you didn’t want to make things difficult for me, right?”
He hugged me, kissed my forehead: “Fei, I let you suffer so much, in the future, you should never want to be separated from me. You let me take care of you.”
“I know that you like kids …”
“But we are together, because we want to be together, not to have children, do you understand this truth?”
I also hugged him, his face close to my body, “What you say is correct.”
“And, I think, the fact that we are together, it seems too good to be true. So if we have some little regrets, it just proves that God is fair and I feel more secure.”
I nodded enthusiastically .
I had hidden a big secret for a long time, and finally told Jia Yang today.I felt a lot better. It was as if I was walking with a heavy burden for a long time, and now that I had told him, I could unload the burden.
It was really that simple, now I could rely on this man who was like a big, flourishing, vibrant tree.
“Besides,Fei , you think about it, the two of us are educated and constantly enhancing our skills, but if we produce a small white boy, are we allowing others to live?” Jia Yang said.
“Yeah,” I thought he was right, we had to leave some room for others. “This is for ecological balance.”
“And if you do not have children, we do not have to quit smoking.You know, Xiao Liu, when he was about to be a dad, he had to quit smoking for three months.”
“Yeah, we do not have to control our drinking.”
“Hey, no contraception.”
“Wow haha, when do you want to do it?” I asked.
Jia Yang’s eyes were sparkling, he slowly pressed my body: “ Is now okay?”
“You are injured .” I touched his face, kissed him, and kissed him again .”Did it hurt?”
He scrunched his eyebrows and said, “I have endured even more pain.”
The next day at work, I was translating letters to the United Nations, when the director called me to his office. He told me that from then on I was suspended until Chinese New Year. After that, I was told to wait for further instructions from the personnel department.
Although I had long been mentally prepared , I was still a little dazed.
I took my own things to go out, thinking, What’s the big deal, I will beg for benevolence, I have no regrets.
Back home, Jia Yang saw me and asked: “Were you suspended?”
“Yes”
“I am too,” he said, “the Personnel Department called me today and told me not to come to work.”
Translated by miumiu
TL Checked and edited by Tranzgeek
