Dark Past (3)
“Don't tell me it was your sister….”
“No.”
Jung Ha Yeon dismissed my doubt with a single word. This was all like a drama, but it would be a little too much if that female players turned out to be Jung Ji Yeon. Fortunately, Jung Ha Yeon denied my doubt with a firm answer.
“Of course, she was still a kid, so she wouldn’t do it, she was a very precious person to me. Anyway…. That female player was a wizard class player who came in a few months earlier than us. I have no intention of revealing her name. That female player, had a talent that was so great that she was given special education and training at that time. I was confused with what I saw, but then that woman saw me and smiled. And opened my mouth directing my words to the man between us.”
Was it…. Yu Bin? Sung Yu Bin. I tilted my head. She was following Park Hyun-woo. However, there were a few things that didn’t tally with the character of Park Hyun-woo. I thought a lot of what she said, and decided to focus on what she has to say.
“I still remember every bit of conversation that I had with them at that time. I still hear them. The woman started the conversation with him. ‘Isn’t she the girl who follows you? Huh?’ ‘Oh, It is her’ ‘Why is she suddenly? Hold on…. She looks different.’ ‘What different. I don't see anything special in her.’ ‘I think she like you.’ ‘Ah. Well honestly, she is pretty beautiful, but she isn’t my taste, I like passionate woman like you.’”
Indeed, Jung Ha Yeon was bringing out the day that she wanted to forget. It was almost an year since that day has passed, and she remembers what happened very clearly. I made a grim face after hearing their conversation, and she just smiled with a sad face. And, her continued.
“At the last words from the man, the woman laughed and laughed. ‘Yeah. But she is so pitiful’, ‘It is alright. It was waste… I brought her for the purpose of bribing.’, ‘Bribe? Huh?’, ‘ There was a rumor that the Golden Lion Clan scout was a killer player. It was said that he was smart and liked pretty little girl, I thought that my presenting her to him, he might take a good care of me….. But she just ruined it. God that bitch. It hurts. Honestly, I'm sorry. As I think about it, I was expecting way too much from her. Anyway, sooner or later I'll devote myself to the scout. Lazy……ah.’”
I heard the conversation, and I felt like the female player Jung Ha Yeon wasn’t thrilled to be in that situation. When I saw her, she seemed to be in a depth of sorrow, and it didn’t seem like she was lying about it. But I couldn’t truly understand how she was feeling, nor did I know how tearful it would be for a woman. What I found more frightening was that Jung ha Yeon didn’t shed a single tear in the whole conversation. And as I listened to her I couldn’t help but sigh.
“Yeah. For him, I was nothing but a tool to get success. Even when I fell into this hell of a Hall Plane, I thought that it would be fine if I just stuck with him. but they were all my illusions. He only thought about himself, and was using me all along.”
“Then how did you…”
“I went to the personnel manager on the way. I woke him from his deep sleep. I told him that I was going to quit right away. What's more surprising is that he listened to all that I had to say and without a single words he just allowed me leave. How’s that. Funny right?”
Yes. I was anxious, there was no reason for her to be cast out. One of the rule of the clan is that, no member of the clan can walk out by their own freewill. Once all the words of hers were done, she took a deep breath and leaned back onto the chair. And I took out the cigar out of habit. I burned it and put it in my mouth, and the small sparks came in the end.
For a while neither did Jung Ha Yeon, nor did I say anything. There was an awkward silence between us. Soon time passed. And when I looked at Jung Ha Yeon, she opened her mouth with a hollow voice.
“Thank you. Though I wasn’t much interesting, you’ve heard my whole story.”
“It was nothing. I understand how you feel.”
“I hate those words from your mouth. How could you possibly understand?”
“At present it is the best clans and it has the best individual payers too, but the position of the women is still disadvantageous. This is something that had been going on for a lo of time and this was being endured. And being disposed by the clan would make an individual feel unfair. The man you met in the last was probably your last hope. I understand, I sympathize with your position.”
She laughed sadly at me, and opened her mouth.
“Okay then. Well, it is finally time to get to the point.”
I shook my head and looked at the woman who spoke till now. She looked around the room and rolled her eyes.
“The night is getting very late. You have already said a lot today. So, let us stop it for today….”
“The night is long, and we still have a lot of time…”
“The rest over matter is for the next time…”
“No. I want to get this done today itself.”
Jung Ha Yeon stared at me with eyes that looked like they were on fire. Suddenly, she held onto my hand tightly, and her body rose from her chair and onto the table. Her hands that were holding mine were cold. After I realized that she wasn’t to going to let go of this, I spoke with her in a soft tone.
“What else is there to say?”
“There was a story which said to pay the price for having a debt.”
I just looked at her, without saying anything. I understood her situation. But there was a difference in this and that. I tried to tell her that she was succumbing to her emotions and that she was wrong to do this, and her eyes said something else.
I regained my posture. From now on it was the beginning of the second part of what happened in the Institute of Ruins. But this time the positions were swapped, and I was the one that was going to lead it.
“So, what will you pay for the debt?”
She listened to the calm voice of mine. At my question, Jung Ha Yeon shrugged her shoulders and spoke gently.
“I'm sorry that I dragged your thoughts by using the < Revision of Truth >. But since that day, I have had a habit of not trusting a human, especially a man. So, I just wanted to clarify.”
“I can understand that it happened without your consciousness. But it doesn’t justify how you have acted a while back. I would like you to differentiate between people of those classes and us.”
“I know. But, I'm not so sure. What does player Kim Su-Hyun want me to do?”
“This is surely a problem for you to worry about. And it is not a matter for me to decide.”
I didn’t try to hold back any of my words. I could sympathize with her position, but I could look at this anymore. Some people may say they are too strict. But this is Hall Plane. As long as she knew what my life was, I had no cause to kill her. And it was a fact that she also knew.
She opened her mouth with a tired voice as she heard my determined voice.
“We came back from the Ruins and I caused a lot of trouble for everyone. But…. The bottom line is that I have nothing to give you and make you feel better.”
“….. tell me more.”
“Are you pretending to not know? Or do you really not understand what I said? What are the things that I could give you?”
“……….”
“Player information? Gold? Ability points? Free service? Do you want me to write a slave contract? I don't know what you want. No, I really have nothing else that I could give you.”
I just made a sound at her words. I just knocked on the table habitually. The thing is…. I like her. I finally understood why I felt good around her. She never crosses the line. In other words, it would be a nice thing to hold this opportunity.
Of course, she crossed the line once, in the Institute of Ruins. However, her action of crossing the line had a purpose, and there were things that she needed to confirm. And it was time to end this all out.
“Some of the things that you just said are a bit overrated.”
“Huh. Overrated huh? My player information isn’t worth to you. and the gold too had no purpose. And the ability. It is fine. These are just my words but I'm good when it comes to ability. Maybe not as much as you. The service is also the same, not better than you. Slave contract. It has restrictions to be established between the payers. I'll get straight t the point. Even if I participate to be a member of your party, it is not a sufficient price to pay for what I did. For your capabilities, I'm not sufficient, I'm just not enough for you.”
“Why are you depreciating your own values and demoralizing yourself?”
“That is the truth, it really is. And…”
Jung Ha Yeon who was speaking very quickly suddenly halted and took a breath. And I looked at her, and the air around us was awkward again. Once she regained her breath she opened her mouth to speak.
“…….. I need you.”
She finally opened her lips and spoke with a sad voice revealing what she had been hiding all along.
“That can't be considered as the appropriate price to pay. I just needed your trust and faith.”
“You are turning me into a baseless woman. I'm not able to forget that time yet. When you said that you were going to keep your precious ones, and I was surprised when the < Revision of Truth > said that what you spoke were true. I want to enter the circle of people that you care about. So I'll change my question. I know that the kids have been with you since the beginning, how can I put my trust into you right now?”
“Trust and faith can not be made in such a short time. I sense a little of urgency in this and I know that you feel this too. So, what is it that you really wanted to say?”
I said that, but I was almost guessing why she suddenly acted like this. Simply put it, she was still suffering from the trauma of that day. And what happened shook her trauma, and now she was confused. She was afraid, but her heart wanted to take a chance by trusting once again. And there thoughts were making her impatient.
“For you, player Jung Ha Yeon doesn’t have much worth. If that is correct, then there is only one thing that I can give you now.”
“Player Jung Ha Yeon.”
She replied in a low voice at me calling out her name.
“Not as a player but as a woman. This is the last thing that I have which I can provide you.”
After listening to her words, I just stared into her eyes. She was also looking at me and her pupils weren’t shaking. There was silence for a while, and I got up from my seat immediately.
“Well, I am a man before a player, and I do like woman. And it is basic according to me. But.”
I was a little out of words as I was tired.
“And without any reason, you're not a man who just touches any other woman.”
“I didn’t say that……”
I didn’t speak with that intention. And she still couldn’t give me the answer that I was waiting for. And even before her words were over, I turned my head. And added one word.
“I'm disappointed. I've to get back.”
And in that moment.
“I…!”
As I tried to move towards the door, her low cry caught my attention.
“…. Are you thinking of me as a woman who does it with every man?”
I saw her crying and then just turned away after sighing.
“You're words are certainly off the point. I know that you're not such a woman, but be honest, you just embarrassed me.”
At my concluding words, she looked at me with a conflicting expression. But the confliction wasn’t for long. And within a short time, I could see her mouth open slowly.
“Yoo-Jung said that I don't know anything about you, but I feel like I know you pretty well. I've been listening to your story of you helping the kids to practice all the time. You are so much like him. The leader in the Rite of Passage, leading a group of people. forst place in Player Academy. And received an offer from the Golden Lion Clan. But from the moment you rejected their offer and started to move with the kids, your path was different from him, you were different from him.”
“Then, you think of me as a substitute for him.”
When I said that, Jung Ha Yeon shook her head.
“No! But… I'm just tired of being deceived, and being cheated in the Hall Plane. And I couldn’t fool anyone. I could do it, but I didn’t want to do such a despicable thing. So I decided then, I will not be deceived nor will I deceive.”
I solved one question, this was why she kept inclining to not trust. I turned back and stood beside her. She put her forehead on my chest only placing a little weight on me.
“However…. Player Kim Su-Hyun is different. You are something different from the regular players of the Hall Plane. Maybe I'm at my limit. After using the < Revision of Truth >, I thought that I have to stay beside you. That this player is the last chance of normalcy that I can find in the Hall Plane. You do want my trust and faith.”
“….. that is correct.”
Jung Ha Yeon who put her forehead on my chest, lifted her head slightly and looked up at me. I also lowered my gaze and met her eyes. I slowly moved my right hand and gently moved her hair. She closed her eyes the moment my hand touched her face. However, her lips didn’t stop moving.
“Honestly, there are still a few questions left. You have such mighty force, you won't be able to delay your death. No, that won't happened. But I won't ask you the questions. I'll just bury them in my heart.”
“I can answer that part very well.”
“I have talked to the kids before, and I can form some rough guesses. And there are a few things that have seen with my own eyes. I'm tired of being cheated and I'm afraid of getting hurt. But I'm a woman too. I felt like I was losing myself after I lost my sister whom I trusted the most.”
“You're expecting something from me, and you can arrest yourself from doing it anymore.”
At my question, she nodded her head. Confirming her action, I pulled her face back to by embrace and she buried her face into my chest. And at that moment a smile formed on my face.
It was a pity, but she made another mistake. I honestly never expected that Jung Ha Yeon would come out like this. This was the first time that I heard her in such a way. However, this wasn’t a bad thing. There was no need of possible ambiguous belief or trust in the present scenario. If it wasn’t Jung Ha Yeon in this situation, I would have surely advanced on this relationship.
There was nothing that was pulling back on my conscience. I witnessed the death of my colleagues and I chose to come back, and I left them all behind. And I was able to do anything without hesitation for them. I felt something hard in my chest, I took a breath and opened my mouth.
“This seems like a way how a wizard would think.”
“……. Something like that. I can give you my faith, and be with stable thoughts. I just a place to relax and someone to lean on. Everything that I said today is so that I can put my trust in you. So…”
She moved onto my body and lifted herself up. Stretching both her arms out, she put them around my neck, and opened her mouth.
“Tonight. I hope Mr Su-Hyun will answer my trust.”
Dark Past (3)
“Don't tell me it was your sister….”
“No.”
Jung Ha Yeon dismissed my doubt with a single word. This was all like a drama, but it would be a little too much if that female players turned out to be Jung Ji Yeon. Fortunately, Jung Ha Yeon denied my doubt with a firm answer.
“Of course, she was still a kid, so she wouldn’t do it, she was a very precious person to me. Anyway…. That female player was a wizard class player who came in a few months earlier than us. I have no intention of revealing her name. That female player, had a talent that was so great that she was given special education and training at that time. I was confused with what I saw, but then that woman saw me and smiled. And opened my mouth directing my words to the man between us.”
Was it…. Yu Bin? Sung Yu Bin. I tilted my head. She was following Park Hyun-woo. However, there were a few things that didn’t tally with the character of Park Hyun-woo. I thought a lot of what she said, and decided to focus on what she has to say.
“I still remember every bit of conversation that I had with them at that time. I still hear them. The woman started the conversation with him. ‘Isn’t she the girl who follows you? Huh?’ ‘Oh, It is her’ ‘Why is she suddenly? Hold on…. She looks different.’ ‘What different. I don't see anything special in her.’ ‘I think she like you.’ ‘Ah. Well honestly, she is pretty beautiful, but she isn’t my taste, I like passionate woman like you.’”
Indeed, Jung Ha Yeon was bringing out the day that she wanted to forget. It was almost an year since that day has passed, and she remembers what happened very clearly. I made a grim face after hearing their conversation, and she just smiled with a sad face. And, her continued.
“At the last words from the man, the woman laughed and laughed. ‘Yeah. But she is so pitiful’, ‘It is alright. It was waste… I brought her for the purpose of bribing.’, ‘Bribe? Huh?’, ‘ There was a rumor that the Golden Lion Clan scout was a killer player. It was said that he was smart and liked pretty little girl, I thought that my presenting her to him, he might take a good care of me….. But she just ruined it. God that bitch. It hurts. Honestly, I'm sorry. As I think about it, I was expecting way too much from her. Anyway, sooner or later I'll devote myself to the scout. Lazy……ah.’”
I heard the conversation, and I felt like the female player Jung Ha Yeon wasn’t thrilled to be in that situation. When I saw her, she seemed to be in a depth of sorrow, and it didn’t seem like she was lying about it. But I couldn’t truly understand how she was feeling, nor did I know how tearful it would be for a woman. What I found more frightening was that Jung ha Yeon didn’t shed a single tear in the whole conversation. And as I listened to her I couldn’t help but sigh.
“Yeah. For him, I was nothing but a tool to get success. Even when I fell into this hell of a Hall Plane, I thought that it would be fine if I just stuck with him. but they were all my illusions. He only thought about himself, and was using me all along.”
“Then how did you…”
“I went to the personnel manager on the way. I woke him from his deep sleep. I told him that I was going to quit right away. What's more surprising is that he listened to all that I had to say and without a single words he just allowed me leave. How’s that. Funny right?”
Yes. I was anxious, there was no reason for her to be cast out. One of the rule of the clan is that, no member of the clan can walk out by their own freewill. Once all the words of hers were done, she took a deep breath and leaned back onto the chair. And I took out the cigar out of habit. I burned it and put it in my mouth, and the small sparks came in the end.
For a while neither did Jung Ha Yeon, nor did I say anything. There was an awkward silence between us. Soon time passed. And when I looked at Jung Ha Yeon, she opened her mouth with a hollow voice.
“Thank you. Though I wasn’t much interesting, you’ve heard my whole story.”
“It was nothing. I understand how you feel.”
“I hate those words from your mouth. How could you possibly understand?”
“At present it is the best clans and it has the best individual payers too, but the position of the women is still disadvantageous. This is something that had been going on for a lo of time and this was being endured. And being disposed by the clan would make an individual feel unfair. The man you met in the last was probably your last hope. I understand, I sympathize with your position.”
She laughed sadly at me, and opened her mouth.
“Okay then. Well, it is finally time to get to the point.”
I shook my head and looked at the woman who spoke till now. She looked around the room and rolled her eyes.
“The night is getting very late. You have already said a lot today. So, let us stop it for today….”
“The night is long, and we still have a lot of time…”
“The rest over matter is for the next time…”
“No. I want to get this done today itself.”
Jung Ha Yeon stared at me with eyes that looked like they were on fire. Suddenly, she held onto my hand tightly, and her body rose from her chair and onto the table. Her hands that were holding mine were cold. After I realized that she wasn’t to going to let go of this, I spoke with her in a soft tone.
“What else is there to say?”
“There was a story which said to pay the price for having a debt.”
I just looked at her, without saying anything. I understood her situation. But there was a difference in this and that. I tried to tell her that she was succumbing to her emotions and that she was wrong to do this, and her eyes said something else.
I regained my posture. From now on it was the beginning of the second part of what happened in the Institute of Ruins. But this time the positions were swapped, and I was the one that was going to lead it.
“So, what will you pay for the debt?”
She listened to the calm voice of mine. At my question, Jung Ha Yeon shrugged her shoulders and spoke gently.
“I'm sorry that I dragged your thoughts by using the < Revision of Truth >. But since that day, I have had a habit of not trusting a human, especially a man. So, I just wanted to clarify.”
“I can understand that it happened without your consciousness. But it doesn’t justify how you have acted a while back. I would like you to differentiate between people of those classes and us.”
“I know. But, I'm not so sure. What does player Kim Su-Hyun want me to do?”
“This is surely a problem for you to worry about. And it is not a matter for me to decide.”
I didn’t try to hold back any of my words. I could sympathize with her position, but I could look at this anymore. Some people may say they are too strict. But this is Hall Plane. As long as she knew what my life was, I had no cause to kill her. And it was a fact that she also knew.
She opened her mouth with a tired voice as she heard my determined voice.
“We came back from the Ruins and I caused a lot of trouble for everyone. But…. The bottom line is that I have nothing to give you and make you feel better.”
“….. tell me more.”
“Are you pretending to not know? Or do you really not understand what I said? What are the things that I could give you?”
“……….”
“Player information? Gold? Ability points? Free service? Do you want me to write a slave contract? I don't know what you want. No, I really have nothing else that I could give you.”
I just made a sound at her words. I just knocked on the table habitually. The thing is…. I like her. I finally understood why I felt good around her. She never crosses the line. In other words, it would be a nice thing to hold this opportunity.
Of course, she crossed the line once, in the Institute of Ruins. However, her action of crossing the line had a purpose, and there were things that she needed to confirm. And it was time to end this all out.
“Some of the things that you just said are a bit overrated.”
“Huh. Overrated huh? My player information isn’t worth to you. and the gold too had no purpose. And the ability. It is fine. These are just my words but I'm good when it comes to ability. Maybe not as much as you. The service is also the same, not better than you. Slave contract. It has restrictions to be established between the payers. I'll get straight t the point. Even if I participate to be a member of your party, it is not a sufficient price to pay for what I did. For your capabilities, I'm not sufficient, I'm just not enough for you.”
“Why are you depreciating your own values and demoralizing yourself?”
“That is the truth, it really is. And…”
Jung Ha Yeon who was speaking very quickly suddenly halted and took a breath. And I looked at her, and the air around us was awkward again. Once she regained her breath she opened her mouth to speak.
“…….. I need you.”
She finally opened her lips and spoke with a sad voice revealing what she had been hiding all along.
“That can't be considered as the appropriate price to pay. I just needed your trust and faith.”
“You are turning me into a baseless woman. I'm not able to forget that time yet. When you said that you were going to keep your precious ones, and I was surprised when the < Revision of Truth > said that what you spoke were true. I want to enter the circle of people that you care about. So I'll change my question. I know that the kids have been with you since the beginning, how can I put my trust into you right now?”
“Trust and faith can not be made in such a short time. I sense a little of urgency in this and I know that you feel this too. So, what is it that you really wanted to say?”
I said that, but I was almost guessing why she suddenly acted like this. Simply put it, she was still suffering from the trauma of that day. And what happened shook her trauma, and now she was confused. She was afraid, but her heart wanted to take a chance by trusting once again. And there thoughts were making her impatient.
“For you, player Jung Ha Yeon doesn’t have much worth. If that is correct, then there is only one thing that I can give you now.”
“Player Jung Ha Yeon.”
She replied in a low voice at me calling out her name.
“Not as a player but as a woman. This is the last thing that I have which I can provide you.”
After listening to her words, I just stared into her eyes. She was also looking at me and her pupils weren’t shaking. There was silence for a while, and I got up from my seat immediately.
“Well, I am a man before a player, and I do like woman. And it is basic according to me. But.”
I was a little out of words as I was tired.
“And without any reason, you're not a man who just touches any other woman.”
“I didn’t say that……”
I didn’t speak with that intention. And she still couldn’t give me the answer that I was waiting for. And even before her words were over, I turned my head. And added one word.
“I'm disappointed. I've to get back.”
And in that moment.
“I…!”
As I tried to move towards the door, her low cry caught my attention.
“…. Are you thinking of me as a woman who does it with every man?”
I saw her crying and then just turned away after sighing.
“You're words are certainly off the point. I know that you're not such a woman, but be honest, you just embarrassed me.”
At my concluding words, she looked at me with a conflicting expression. But the confliction wasn’t for long. And within a short time, I could see her mouth open slowly.
“Yoo-Jung said that I don't know anything about you, but I feel like I know you pretty well. I've been listening to your story of you helping the kids to practice all the time. You are so much like him. The leader in the Rite of Passage, leading a group of people. forst place in Player Academy. And received an offer from the Golden Lion Clan. But from the moment you rejected their offer and started to move with the kids, your path was different from him, you were different from him.”
“Then, you think of me as a substitute for him.”
When I said that, Jung Ha Yeon shook her head.
“No! But… I'm just tired of being deceived, and being cheated in the Hall Plane. And I couldn’t fool anyone. I could do it, but I didn’t want to do such a despicable thing. So I decided then, I will not be deceived nor will I deceive.”
I solved one question, this was why she kept inclining to not trust. I turned back and stood beside her. She put her forehead on my chest only placing a little weight on me.
“However…. Player Kim Su-Hyun is different. You are something different from the regular players of the Hall Plane. Maybe I'm at my limit. After using the < Revision of Truth >, I thought that I have to stay beside you. That this player is the last chance of normalcy that I can find in the Hall Plane. You do want my trust and faith.”
“….. that is correct.”
Jung Ha Yeon who put her forehead on my chest, lifted her head slightly and looked up at me. I also lowered my gaze and met her eyes. I slowly moved my right hand and gently moved her hair. She closed her eyes the moment my hand touched her face. However, her lips didn’t stop moving.
“Honestly, there are still a few questions left. You have such mighty force, you won't be able to delay your death. No, that won't happened. But I won't ask you the questions. I'll just bury them in my heart.”
“I can answer that part very well.”
“I have talked to the kids before, and I can form some rough guesses. And there are a few things that have seen with my own eyes. I'm tired of being cheated and I'm afraid of getting hurt. But I'm a woman too. I felt like I was losing myself after I lost my sister whom I trusted the most.”
“You're expecting something from me, and you can arrest yourself from doing it anymore.”
At my question, she nodded her head. Confirming her action, I pulled her face back to by embrace and she buried her face into my chest. And at that moment a smile formed on my face.
It was a pity, but she made another mistake. I honestly never expected that Jung Ha Yeon would come out like this. This was the first time that I heard her in such a way. However, this wasn’t a bad thing. There was no need of possible ambiguous belief or trust in the present scenario. If it wasn’t Jung Ha Yeon in this situation, I would have surely advanced on this relationship.
There was nothing that was pulling back on my conscience. I witnessed the death of my colleagues and I chose to come back, and I left them all behind. And I was able to do anything without hesitation for them. I felt something hard in my chest, I took a breath and opened my mouth.
“This seems like a way how a wizard would think.”
“……. Something like that. I can give you my faith, and be with stable thoughts. I just a place to relax and someone to lean on. Everything that I said today is so that I can put my trust in you. So…”
She moved onto my body and lifted herself up. Stretching both her arms out, she put them around my neck, and opened her mouth.
“Tonight. I hope Mr Su-Hyun will answer my trust.”
