We had forgotten one small but significant detail. As we made our way back toward my house, the witching hour struck next door. I watched in amazement as all of the lights on the lower floor were instantly extinguished. I didn't need to look through the fence to know the yard was dark as well. I reveled in the instant silence. Too bad it wasn't, strictly speaking, legal. Or permanent. We hustled back toward my house, slipping into my entryway just before the inevitable eruption.
"Fuck! What happened to the music?"
"I can't see a goddamn thing!"
"This is bullshit."
Gavin and I sprinted up my stairs, snickering that we'd ruined their party. We raced into my bedroom and peered out the window, the darkness in my own room granting us a clear picture of my neighbor's backyard in the moonlight.
One thing was for certain: My time switch had done the trick. I could only just barely discern the shapes of pissed-off partygoers in the moonlight as they milled around uselessly. I silently thanked the lunar cycle for my good fortune; there was enough light to make out significant details, but too little to continue the party.
Gavin cracked my window an inch so that we could hear the swearing, which had only increased in volume since we migrated from my foyer. It was too dark to tell who was yelling, but boy, were they furious. With any luck, they'd be gone in ten minutes. We watched, cackling, as people ran around the property. Someone must have run into a lawn ornament, if the ensuing screeching was any indication.
"Hey, asshole!"
Gavin and I glanced at each other. The shout had come from a different direction than my neighbor's yard.
"Asshole! I'm talking to you! Yeah, you! I can see you in the second-floor window!"
Oh fuck. Definitely not next door. We smashed our faces against the window, straining to look to the left from where the shout had originated. I could just barely make out a figure standing on my lawn.
"Hey, Trav. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think the jig is up."
"No shit," I said, rubbing my temples at the instantaneous onset of a migraine. I shoved away from the window, heading back down to my ground floor to finally meet my neighbor.
And there she stood, perfectly illuminated in my porch light when I opened the front door. I stared as she paced back and forth, clearly winding herself up for one hell of a fight. She'd curled her hair for the party, that much was certain. I'd only ever seen it straight, and for a moment I was distracted by the way it cascaded down her back. Her brunette strands contrasted with the light blue dress that hugged every curve of her perfect body. I swallowed, dragging my eyes away from the sway of her pacing hips.
She was tempting from the side, but even that sight paled in comparison to the vision of her head-on. She whirled around the moment she noticed me, blue eyes blazing in utter contempt. Anger had stained her cheeks a soft red and her full lips were pursed in irritation as she practically prowled onto my porch.
The sight punched me in the gut, stupefying me into stillness. This girl was dangerous. I'd never experienced the full force of her up close; so much fire was very tempting. My hands twitched with the need to pull her against me.
Such a visceral reaction to a woman I absolutely detested irritated the shit out of me and definitely didn't positively contribute to my already inebriated state. I dragged air into my lungs, trying to rally.
I should have known she wouldn't waste time. "What the fuck did you do to my property?"
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."
She laughed sarcastically. "Oh, sure. All of the electricity in my house just happened to go out at exactly the same time each night you've been bitching to me, and somehow you're not involved? Do you think I'm fucking stupid?"
I glanced over at her house, then dragged my gaze lazily down and back up her body in a way I knew would irritate her. Just as I suspected, her eyes narrowed and she crossed her hands over her chest, hands twitching around her arms as if she wanted to slap me. I enjoyed the show.
I shrugged carelessly. "I don't know what you're talking about, princess. Seems like you've got plenty of lights working to me."
She whirled toward her house, where from our location it was clear to see that all of the lights on her second floor remained illuminated. Her hair flowed over her shoulder, assailing me with the scent of vanilla. My mouth watered and the rest of my body froze in sudden, acute anticipation.
Who the fuck still smelled like vanilla after a party? She should smell like alcohol and vomit, and the fact that she didn't fucking pissed me right off. I shifted on my feet, crossing my own arms over my chest and willing away my lust.
She glared at me again. "All that does is make me wonder how you were able to segregate the lights from each other."
"As if it's that hard."
"What?"
"Nothing," I said, cursing myself for my stupidity. "Look, it sucks that your lights went off, but that just means you're going to have to do what everyone else on this planet has to do in this situation and call an electrician, princess."
She stepped closer, invading my space as much as her slender frame would allow, her chest heaving in rage. Keeping my eyes on her face became an act of will. "Stop fucking calling me that. I'm not your princess, you dickface, and I'll never be. And if you don't fix my electricity in the next sixty seconds, I'm calling the police. Again."
Well, two could play that game. I stepped forward myself, our chests brushing as I leaned down and stopped mere inches from her. She gasped, pupils dilating as she glared at me. My eyes darted helplessly to her lips before I smirked and said, enunciating every word as clearly as my drunken brain was able, "If you don't start following city noise ordinances in the next sixty seconds, I'm calling the police. Again."
"Hey, Trav, are you—oh, fuck."
Gavin had finally caught up to me, the drunk bastard. My porch door slammed shut behind him as he ground to a halt. I turned around, wondering why he'd interrupted himself, but he stood still, his mouth opening and closing silently as he stared at her. Weird.
She seemed to take Gavin's stupefaction as normal, if a little annoying, which was strange in itself. She glanced at my friend, dragging her gaze up and down in disgust before dismissing him entirely. Returning her attention to me, she took one small step back to collect herself. I moved away as well, telling myself I wasn't the least bit disappointed I'd never know what she might have done if Gavin hadn't interrupted.
"We both know it was you. I don't know what you did, but fix it. I'm having a party and you're ruining it."
"Oh, really? You're having a party? Is that what you're doing? Silly me, I thought that normal humans only had those occasionally, but apparently I need to get on board with one every eighteen fucking hours."
Her eyes narrowed again. "So it was you."
"I never said that."
"You just implied it when you said that you're sick of my parties!"
"So you don't deny that you have too many of them?"
She threw her hands up, shaking her head in fury. "So what if I do? It's my property. I can do whatever I want on my own property."
"It's not just your property! Might I remind you of the valet incident? You've deliberately encouraged your asshole friends to park on my property. That's trespassing—even if the damn cops refuse to do anything about it."
Her eyes narrowed. "You want to discuss trespassing? You mean like trespassing in someone's house to mess with her electricity? Or would that be breaking and entering?"
I conveniently ignored this valid point. "You have too many parties. You're too loud."
"I can't help it if you're sensitive to noise. It's the weekend. People have people over. Get over it."
"You are not having people over. I agree, that's what normal people do. But you don't do that. No, you find the world's worst morons and invite them over, again and again, to make my life a living hell. I'm fucking sick of it."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Oh, please. Like you don't know that these are real assholes you invite to these 'parties.' Not that you're much better. You have to admit that you started this. Your incapacity for being considerate to other people truly boggles the mind."
She turned away, sighing slightly and muttering what seemed suspiciously like "I have to invite them over." She heaved another sigh, digging her foot into my porch before squaring her shoulders and glaring at me again.
"Look, both of us are clearly too furious for this conversation. I doubt either of us want the police to get involved for the umpteenth time. So how about this? I'm going to make everyone leave, since as you've said, they can't party in the dark. And if I happen to wake up tomorrow morning to working electricity, we'll call it even, okay? No need to get the police involved yet again for either of us."
The decent side of me knew I should agree with such a reasonable request—I knew another police call wouldn't end well for either of us—but the stupid side of me just wouldn't let it go, and it ended up winning.
"Well, unless the magic electricity fairy decides to pay you a visit in the night, I don't think that's going to happen, since I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."
She inhaled, winding up for round two. Then she paused when Gavin's hand fell on my shoulder.
"That will be fine," he croaked. I glanced at him, surprised by his weird voice.
My neighbor took this as confirmation enough, nodding silently before flicking one last glare at me and retreating to her house. Within moments, shouts of disappointment and annoyance rose up from her guests. We watched as they trickled out of her house and into their cars, engines roaring as they backed up and rumbled out of both our driveways.
We had forgotten one small but significant detail. As we made our way back toward my house, the witching hour struck next door. I watched in amazement as all of the lights on the lower floor were instantly extinguished. I didn't need to look through the fence to know the yard was dark as well. I reveled in the instant silence. Too bad it wasn't, strictly speaking, legal. Or permanent. We hustled back toward my house, slipping into my entryway just before the inevitable eruption.
"Fuck! What happened to the music?"
"I can't see a goddamn thing!"
"This is bullshit."
Gavin and I sprinted up my stairs, snickering that we'd ruined their party. We raced into my bedroom and peered out the window, the darkness in my own room granting us a clear picture of my neighbor's backyard in the moonlight.
One thing was for certain: My time switch had done the trick. I could only just barely discern the shapes of pissed-off partygoers in the moonlight as they milled around uselessly. I silently thanked the lunar cycle for my good fortune; there was enough light to make out significant details, but too little to continue the party.
Gavin cracked my window an inch so that we could hear the swearing, which had only increased in volume since we migrated from my foyer. It was too dark to tell who was yelling, but boy, were they furious. With any luck, they'd be gone in ten minutes. We watched, cackling, as people ran around the property. Someone must have run into a lawn ornament, if the ensuing screeching was any indication.
"Hey, asshole!"
Gavin and I glanced at each other. The shout had come from a different direction than my neighbor's yard.
"Asshole! I'm talking to you! Yeah, you! I can see you in the second-floor window!"
Oh fuck. Definitely not next door. We smashed our faces against the window, straining to look to the left from where the shout had originated. I could just barely make out a figure standing on my lawn.
"Hey, Trav. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think the jig is up."
"No shit," I said, rubbing my temples at the instantaneous onset of a migraine. I shoved away from the window, heading back down to my ground floor to finally meet my neighbor.
And there she stood, perfectly illuminated in my porch light when I opened the front door. I stared as she paced back and forth, clearly winding herself up for one hell of a fight. She'd curled her hair for the party, that much was certain. I'd only ever seen it straight, and for a moment I was distracted by the way it cascaded down her back. Her brunette strands contrasted with the light blue dress that hugged every curve of her perfect body. I swallowed, dragging my eyes away from the sway of her pacing hips.
She was tempting from the side, but even that sight paled in comparison to the vision of her head-on. She whirled around the moment she noticed me, blue eyes blazing in utter contempt. Anger had stained her cheeks a soft red and her full lips were pursed in irritation as she practically prowled onto my porch.
The sight punched me in the gut, stupefying me into stillness. This girl was dangerous. I'd never experienced the full force of her up close; so much fire was very tempting. My hands twitched with the need to pull her against me.
Such a visceral reaction to a woman I absolutely detested irritated the shit out of me and definitely didn't positively contribute to my already inebriated state. I dragged air into my lungs, trying to rally.
I should have known she wouldn't waste time. "What the fuck did you do to my property?"
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."
She laughed sarcastically. "Oh, sure. All of the electricity in my house just happened to go out at exactly the same time each night you've been bitching to me, and somehow you're not involved? Do you think I'm fucking stupid?"
I glanced over at her house, then dragged my gaze lazily down and back up her body in a way I knew would irritate her. Just as I suspected, her eyes narrowed and she crossed her hands over her chest, hands twitching around her arms as if she wanted to slap me. I enjoyed the show.
I shrugged carelessly. "I don't know what you're talking about, princess. Seems like you've got plenty of lights working to me."
She whirled toward her house, where from our location it was clear to see that all of the lights on her second floor remained illuminated. Her hair flowed over her shoulder, assailing me with the scent of vanilla. My mouth watered and the rest of my body froze in sudden, acute anticipation.
Who the fuck still smelled like vanilla after a party? She should smell like alcohol and vomit, and the fact that she didn't fucking pissed me right off. I shifted on my feet, crossing my own arms over my chest and willing away my lust.
She glared at me again. "All that does is make me wonder how you were able to segregate the lights from each other."
"As if it's that hard."
"What?"
"Nothing," I said, cursing myself for my stupidity. "Look, it sucks that your lights went off, but that just means you're going to have to do what everyone else on this planet has to do in this situation and call an electrician, princess."
She stepped closer, invading my space as much as her slender frame would allow, her chest heaving in rage. Keeping my eyes on her face became an act of will. "Stop fucking calling me that. I'm not your princess, you dickface, and I'll never be. And if you don't fix my electricity in the next sixty seconds, I'm calling the police. Again."
Well, two could play that game. I stepped forward myself, our chests brushing as I leaned down and stopped mere inches from her. She gasped, pupils dilating as she glared at me. My eyes darted helplessly to her lips before I smirked and said, enunciating every word as clearly as my drunken brain was able, "If you don't start following city noise ordinances in the next sixty seconds, I'm calling the police. Again."
"Hey, Trav, are you—oh, fuck."
Gavin had finally caught up to me, the drunk bastard. My porch door slammed shut behind him as he ground to a halt. I turned around, wondering why he'd interrupted himself, but he stood still, his mouth opening and closing silently as he stared at her. Weird.
She seemed to take Gavin's stupefaction as normal, if a little annoying, which was strange in itself. She glanced at my friend, dragging her gaze up and down in disgust before dismissing him entirely. Returning her attention to me, she took one small step back to collect herself. I moved away as well, telling myself I wasn't the least bit disappointed I'd never know what she might have done if Gavin hadn't interrupted.
"We both know it was you. I don't know what you did, but fix it. I'm having a party and you're ruining it."
"Oh, really? You're having a party? Is that what you're doing? Silly me, I thought that normal humans only had those occasionally, but apparently I need to get on board with one every eighteen fucking hours."
Her eyes narrowed again. "So it was you."
"I never said that."
"You just implied it when you said that you're sick of my parties!"
"So you don't deny that you have too many of them?"
She threw her hands up, shaking her head in fury. "So what if I do? It's my property. I can do whatever I want on my own property."
"It's not just your property! Might I remind you of the valet incident? You've deliberately encouraged your asshole friends to park on my property. That's trespassing—even if the damn cops refuse to do anything about it."
Her eyes narrowed. "You want to discuss trespassing? You mean like trespassing in someone's house to mess with her electricity? Or would that be breaking and entering?"
I conveniently ignored this valid point. "You have too many parties. You're too loud."
"I can't help it if you're sensitive to noise. It's the weekend. People have people over. Get over it."
"You are not having people over. I agree, that's what normal people do. But you don't do that. No, you find the world's worst morons and invite them over, again and again, to make my life a living hell. I'm fucking sick of it."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Oh, please. Like you don't know that these are real assholes you invite to these 'parties.' Not that you're much better. You have to admit that you started this. Your incapacity for being considerate to other people truly boggles the mind."
She turned away, sighing slightly and muttering what seemed suspiciously like "I have to invite them over." She heaved another sigh, digging her foot into my porch before squaring her shoulders and glaring at me again.
"Look, both of us are clearly too furious for this conversation. I doubt either of us want the police to get involved for the umpteenth time. So how about this? I'm going to make everyone leave, since as you've said, they can't party in the dark. And if I happen to wake up tomorrow morning to working electricity, we'll call it even, okay? No need to get the police involved yet again for either of us."
The decent side of me knew I should agree with such a reasonable request—I knew another police call wouldn't end well for either of us—but the stupid side of me just wouldn't let it go, and it ended up winning.
"Well, unless the magic electricity fairy decides to pay you a visit in the night, I don't think that's going to happen, since I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."
She inhaled, winding up for round two. Then she paused when Gavin's hand fell on my shoulder.
"That will be fine," he croaked. I glanced at him, surprised by his weird voice.
My neighbor took this as confirmation enough, nodding silently before flicking one last glare at me and retreating to her house. Within moments, shouts of disappointment and annoyance rose up from her guests. We watched as they trickled out of her house and into their cars, engines roaring as they backed up and rumbled out of both our driveways.
