Picked Up In Winter - Chapter 21

Picked Up In Winter <21>

…… I didn’t understand.

I thought as I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes while watching the television. As he turned to look at the television, Jun Hyung’s indifferent expression returned. Below him, Min Hyung, who finally got hold of Patrasche, kept on teasing her while the rest of the family were sitting around watching television or reading books.

Lost in thoughts, I again glanced at him.

A sharp nose and jawline. A face seemingly void of emotions. At first glance, he looked very brusque and cold. Moreover, he was a man of few words and when you get to know his somewhat dogmatic actions and the way he talks, that feeling gets worse.

But what’s interesting was that his smiling face breaks them all in an instant. When he smiles, that gruff and cold first impression gets instantly overturned. His smiling face was like that of a naïve child. Anyone who sees that smiling face gets frozen solid, so much that you’ll clearly think ‘Ah’, his smiling face completely changes his previous impression.

Because of my flaws, personally, I don’t really like dating people but…… If someone asked me ‘What type of person do you like?’, I would like to reply with ‘A person whose smile leaves a good impression and also possesses a friendly voice.’ That fellow was the one who had all of those.

And because the gap between the usual and that was even greater, I might have fallen in love with him.

…… What were you thinking about now…. I didn’t need this futile thought. Why did I fall for this guy… Could analyse reasons, but now it doesn’t mean anything.

While I was lost in thoughts, Jun Hyung slowly turned his eyes to me. And met my eyes which were looking at him since before. He stared at me with composed eyes. There was a slight disturbance in my heart.
…… Just now, did he realize I had been looking at him?

“…….”

Du-guen! Du-geun!
My heart began to pound rapidly again. His gaze became even deeper. Having him staring at me intensely, I tried to remember the past days. This guy…… What did he do when he was staring at me like this?

“Let’s go to the room now, Happy.”

“…….”

He abruptly said while looking at me. Contrary to the me who was very nervous, his voice was calm. Go to the room? Was it already time to sleep? Looking at the clock, it showed only 9 PM. I felt a bit uncomfortable this time. Whenever the two of us are left alone, because there is no dialogue, I tend to stay in the living room until it’s time to sleep.

…… Why?

Why would he want to go to the room? I thought looking at him sideways. The reason why he wanted to go into the room, if it was the same as what I was thinking about…… if that was the case, what to do then? While I was hesitating between replying or not, upon hearing Jun Hyung’s voice, the whole family turned to us.

“Already going to sleep?”

At Seon Hyung-nuna’s question, Jun Hyung slowly nodded and got up from the sofa. At that moment, it felt as if my heart nosedived. Curiosity and fear pressed me down.

“Happy…?”

He called me. Before I knew it, he stood in front of me and looked at me.

“Uhm……”

I willed to calm my quivering gaze and slowly lifted my head. When his eyes met mine, at that moment, I once again felt my heart fall down with my feelings.

…… How come he hadn’t realized yet?

The way he looked at me, that piercing stare, the reason why it seemed so deep…… When he looked at me like that I couldn’t help but wonder why did I feel such restlessness……

What those eyes possessed was desire.

Come to think of it, it was like that from the beginning. When our lips met for the very first time under the guise of ‘Reward’, even when I kissed him, he was always looking at me with those eyes.

……… But why?

Towards me who is nothing but a pet, why do you look at me with such eyes?

Why is that……?

─Click

I slowly got up and followed him. After entering the room he closed the door, which resonated quite loudly. While I stood in a daze, he walked over without hesitation and climbed the bed as usual.

I was a little disappointed.

…… Was I mistaken? Did his eyes not contain desire? Looking at him, it seemed like he really did come early to sleep, then, was I deluding myself? Feeling pathetic I could only stand still for a while. As a matter of fact, as soon as he entered the room, he had climbed over the bed and lied down. Locking the door, he didn’t even glance my way. It seemed to be truly skillfully thought out.

…… It’s a good thing that I only thought that within. I was terribly embarrassed at my delusion, but since I was the only one who knew about it anyway, so I’d just bury it. With a sigh of relief, I slowly walked towards the bed and grabbed the ladder. The moment I lifted my leg to climb up the bed, suddenly while lying still on the bed with his eyes closed he opened his mouth.

“Come here, Happy.”

“…!”

I was startled. It was a really low pitched voice. His voice quietly split from his mouth as he slowly sat up, and stared at me who was standing in front of his bed.

…… Go, he’ll just ask you to sleep with him. It’s not like it only happened once or twice, anyway.

Trying to calm myself down that way, I approached him as if possessed while he watched me. One step, two steps, three steps… I carefully climbed into his bed and was laying next to him when he suddenly moved. And slammed both of his hands on the sides of my head with a soft thud, startling me. Before I knew it I found him looking down on me with his body above me.

“…??”

I nearly fainted, but I tried hard to push him away. I was overwhelmed with anxiety and confusion. No one would be able to keep their composure in this situation. He opened his mouth to explain.

“I gave Patrasche her reward……”

“……?”

“I should also give Happy his… reward.”

“…….”

…… Again… reward. This jerk’s damn reward.

The moment I heard it, I felt very offended. I was angry with him who demanded lovers’ behaviour whenever the reward was mentioned. Maybe this guy was really weird hence he really didn’t know the concept of giving a reward. But I still hated it. Maybe…… this was hopeless, just hearing the word <reward> made me frustrated. Being the only one whose heart was pounding, I felt like an idiot.

And, though it’s impossible, I felt like he was teasing me. But since the olden times, don’t you give a reward when something pleases you? Then this guy, whenever he got excited, he kissed me- and then named it as ‘giving reward’? — kwa-chak, I heard the sound of my pride getting squashed somewhere.

“……nothing.”

“?”

“I’ve not done anything deserving of a reward…….”

At the feeble words I spat out, Jun Hyung looked at me with a slightly startled look. I felt a sigh escaping my mouth as I turned my head sideways. I could see his strong arms right next to me.

“With respect to the treatment of Patrasche.”

“…….”

He answered as if I was the only person who came to mind.

“…….”

“…….”

For a moment, there was a heavy silence.

Even his comforting stare felt as hot as fire.  I endured his gaze and while staring at his arms I recalled his gaze before. Then my heart started to beat like crazy again. Say it…… Say it…… Just spit it out!

Ask.
You’re curious.
Ask quickly.

It seemed like someone was commanding me in my head. I bit my lips and asked with a suppressed voice.

“Min Hyung……”

“…?”

“Then I also…from… Min Hyung……”

“…….”

“Receive…… reward…….”

“…….”

The atmosphere became still again. I think he’s somewhat angry. There was a somewhat frosty silence…… I slowly looked up, and he was looking at me with narrowed eyes.

His dark pupils were right in front of me.

“From Min Hyung…?”

“…!”

“You want to get it from Min Hyung……?”

The moment he spoke, I was startled and trembled a bit. He whispered right next to my ear! Unfamiliar with the warm breath of another person coming next to my ears, I shuddered unconsciously. I loosened my hand that was holding the bedsheet and tried to push away his shoulder. However, as if that action made him angrier, he whispered beside my ear.

“But you said you like me more than Min Hyung.”

“…!!”

“Liar.”

“…!!!”

…… Damn it. Such childish complaints, don’t say it near my ear!!!!

I wanted to scream that as I writhed my body. I was turning insane. Talking about such childish subject, his husky voice filled with desire, turned my mind into a mess.

Let go…! Please. What are you doing now, please let me go…….

I struggled desperately to escape. And as if my fierce defiance was too strong for him, so to comfort me, Jun Hyung started to press down my lower body with his own.

“……!!”

… Ju…… Jun Hyung……?

I was completely frozen with shock. Well, even if I hadn’t, I’d be unable to move.

“…….”

I looked at him with my eyes wide open. He had a blank face. For an instant, it looked like he was angry.

What exactly was…… this position……? What do you want to do now…….

“Happy…….”

When he saw my pupils trembling with anxiety, he called me with a hoarse voice and tilted my face a bit. I closed my eyes in a spite of myself. His hot lips touched my forehead. That instant, I felt like I was on fire, my whole body recoiled again and my eyes opened. And met with his eyes. He stared at me deeply in silence.

“Why……”

Suddenly, a sad voice escaped from my lips. That question that had been repeated for a long time in solitude. Upon hearing my voice, his eyes contained a strange glint. I didn’t have the courage to face his eyes so I closed mine once again.

“Why… To Patrasche…… you did not give her a reward personally……?

“…….”

…… Why do you kiss me?

That was what I really wanted to ask…… But a different question came out of my mouth.

You…… Why were you kissing me……? Aren’t I your pet? To you, I am, only just a little more special than a pet…….

“That’s……”

“…….”

“Reward… Only for…… Happy.”

“……?”

Only for Happy……?

At Jun Hyung’s answer, I slowly opened my eyes. He had given yet another vague reply that was hard to interpret. It’s a reward only to Happy. Did that mean me? Or the existence with the name Happy? When you had that dog named Happy, did you also give him a deep kiss as a reward?

…… sigh.

I don’t know where this outrageous thought came from. This guy was really a little kid at that time.

“…….”

“…….”

There was another brief silence, it was Jun Hyung who opened his mouth first.

“You……”

“…….”

“Because it was me who picked you up……”

“…….”

“You can’t accept any reward from other guys…….”

“……?”

As if to warn, Jun Hyung glared at me and growled. That remark threw me further into confusion.

What did that mean…? What do you mean by that?

Not giving any time to organize my thoughts, he inched his face closer to mine. This time our lips touched slowly. I could feel his hot breath through our overlapping lips. I grabbed his shoulders tightly with my trembling hands. At that moment, Jun Hyung’s body faintly shuddered and the kiss turned intense.

“Eub… haaaa……”

I couldn’t breathe…….

I thought absentmindedly in a chaotic state of mind. He was kissing me so fiercely that even he had no time to breathe.

No, not anymore…… Stop now already, please…….

The moment I thought that I had reached my limit, his lips slowly parted from mine. Haa-haa, he breathed heavily. I also tried frantically to inhale the air. After that kiss, he once again buried his face in my neck. This time, because I was wearing only thin indoor clothes, it felt as if his soft lips were blanketing my defenceless skin. His breath brushed and spread at that area on my neck.

“Happy……”

“…!!”

And when he called me, I was startled. And the little movements of his lips while he said the word ‘Happy’, I felt the vibrations of his word very vividly on my neck. My whole body stiffened as I put strength into my hands grabbing his shoulders. Then, Jun Hyung also seemed to stiffen from surprise, and suddenly bit my neck.

Wha-What……??!!

“Ahh…!!”

At that moment, I let out a startled scream involuntarily.

He started to suck my neck more forcefully.

What were you doing, you’re the owner, not the dog…! Neither are you a Dracula!!! Why did you bite into someone else’s neck and attack in a frenzy!! Let me go, please…! I can’t anymore!!

“Ju-Jun……!!”

When I tried to call out his name, he put up his hand and blocked my mouth. My eyes widened in astonishment once again.

What are you planning on doing…… Now, you to me, what are you trying to do……

I was filled with anxiety and struggled to escape from his hands. Suddenly, I thought I looked exactly like a woman that was on the verge of being assaulted. Jun Hyung suddenly stopped sucking my neck and Haahaa-ed as he breathed roughly. Then a hoarse voice, with hidden subtle emotions, came from his mouth.

“Be quiet, Happy……”

“……”

“Since there are other people outside……”

“……”

“You can’t be loud.….”

“……”

At that moment, I remembered his family which I forgot about. Right, right now, his family was all sitting around in the living room watching TV…!

This was outrageous.

I was so shocked that I let out a silent scream.

As I calmed down, he slowly went near my neck and buried his lips there again. It seemed like he would continue doing what he has been before. I was being unreasonable, his movements were by no means hard to resist. When I had calmed down, Jun Hyung poured fierce kisses on my neck and slid his other hand which wasn’t blocking my mouth in my T-shirt.

“……!!”

Don’t be loud?! But, the door wasn’t locked…!

Without knowing my worries, his hand that entered the T-shirt started to slowly stroke my side. I was surprised as if I was on fire. His skilful movements sent goose bumps up from the tips of my toes. I tried to raise my body several times without realizing, my lower body was trapped tightly between his legs, only my waist slightly moved up.

“…!…!!!”

The moan reached my throat and almost came out. I desperately tried to bite my lips and hold back the sound. His hand, that had been stroking my side, was now stroking my chest. His lips that were sucking my neck now began to gradually move down.

“Ha… hiss…!”

“Shh. Be quiet, Happy…… It’s okay.”

“…… u…… uhh……”

“Yes, good boy…….”

He was talking as if he was soothing a child, who’s treating who as a kid now! Even though I thought so…… just, I couldn’t move a bit, my head went blank. Only the fact that ‘His family is outside, so you can’t be loud.’ came across my blank mind clearly as if it had been engraved in it.

And when his hand finally touched the zipper on my pants, I’ve come to the point where I couldn’t stand it anymore. At the important part that swelled, his hand touched there. Surprised at the unexpected sensation, I writhed my waist violently and struggled.

“Wait, no…… do… not……!”

…… And then……

Forgetting that his family was outside, I screamed loudly.

“…… What was that sound…?”

From the living room came a questioning voice. And when the footsteps grew nearer and nearer, I wanted to just evaporate like this.

Picked Up In Winter 21 I didn't understand.I thought as I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes while watching the television. As he turned to look at the television, Jun Hyung's indifferent expression returned.Below him, Min Hyung, who finally got hold of Patrasche, kept on teasing her while the rest of the family were sitting around watching television or reading books.Lost in thoughts, I again glanced at him.A sharp nose and jawline. A face seemingly void of emotions.At first glance, he looked very brusque and cold. Moreover, he was a man of few words and when you get to know his somewhat dogmatic actions and the way he talks, that feeling gets worse.But what's interesting was that his smiling face breaks them all in an instant. When he smiles, that gruff and cold first impression gets instantly overturned. His smiling face was like that of a nave child. Anyone who sees that smiling face gets frozen solid, so much that you'll clearly think Ah', his smiling face completely changes his previous impression.Because of my flaws, personally, I don't really like dating people but If someone asked me What type of person do you like?', I would like to reply with A person whose smile leaves a good impression and also possesses a friendly voice.' That fellow was the one who had all of those.And because the gap between the usual and that was even greater, I might have fallen in love with him. What were you thinking about now. I didn't need this futile thought. Why did I fall for this guy Could analyse reasons,but now it doesn't mean anything.While I was lost in thoughts, Jun Hyung slowly turned his eyes to me. And met my eyes which were looking at him since before. He stared at me with composed eyes. There was a slight disturbance in my heart. Just now, did he realize I had been looking at him?.Du-guen! Du-geun!My heart began to pound rapidly again. His gaze became even deeper.Having him staring at me intensely, I tried to remember the past days. This guy What did he do when he was staring at me like this?Let's go to the room now, Happy..He abruptly said while looking at me. Contrary to the me who was very nervous, his voice was calm. Go to the room? Was it already time to sleep? Looking at the clock, it showed only 9 PM. I felt a bit uncomfortable this time.Whenever the two of us are left alone, because there is no dialogue, I tend to stay in the living room until it's time to sleep. Why?Why would he want to go to the room? I thought looking at him sideways. The reason why he wanted to go into the room, if it was the same as what I was thinking about if that was the case, what to do then? While I was hesitating between replying or not, upon hearing Jun Hyung's voice, the whole family turned to us.Already going to sleep?At Seon Hyung-nuna's question, Jun Hyung slowly nodded and got up from the sofa. At that moment, it felt as if my heart nosedived. Curiosity and fear pressed me down.Happy?He called me. Before I knew it, he stood in front of me and looked at me.UhmI willed to calm my quivering gaze and slowly lifted my head. When his eyes met mine, at that moment, I once again felt my heart fall down with my feelings. How come he hadn't realized yet?The way he looked at me, that piercing stare, the reason why it seemed so deep When he looked at me like that I couldn't help but wonder why did I feel such restlessnessWhat those eyes possessed was desire.Come to think of it, it was like that from the beginning. When our lips met for the very first time under the guise of Reward', even when I kissed him, he was always looking at me with those eyes. But why?Towards me who is nothing but a pet, why do you look at me with such eyes?Why is that?ClickI slowly got up and followed him. After entering the room he closed the door, which resonated quite loudly. While I stood in a daze, he walked over without hesitation and climbed the bed as usual.I was a little disappointed. Was I mistaken? Did his eyes not contain desire? Looking at him, it seemed like he really did come early to sleep, then, was I deluding myself?Feeling pathetic I could only stand still for a while. As a matter of fact, as soon as he entered the room, he had climbed over the bed and lied down. Locking the door, he didn't even glance my way. It seemed to be truly skillfully thought out. It's a good thing that I only thought that within. I was terribly embarrassed at my delusion, but since I was the only one who knew about it anyway, so I'd just bury it. With a sigh of relief, I slowly walked towards the bed and grabbed the ladder. The moment I lifted my leg to climb up the bed, suddenly while lying still on the bed with his eyes closed he opened his mouth.Come here, Happy.!I was startled. It was a really low pitched voice.His voice quietly split from his mouth as he slowly sat up,and stared at me who was standing in front of his bed. Go, he'll just ask you to sleep with him.It's not like it only happened once or twice, anyway.Trying to calm myself down that way, I approached him as if possessed while he watched me. One step, two steps, three steps I carefully climbed into his bed and was laying next to him when he suddenly moved. And slammed both of his hands on the sides of my head with a soft thud, startling me.Before I knew it I found him looking down on me with his body above me.??I nearly fainted, but I tried hard to push him away. I was overwhelmed with anxiety and confusion. No one would be able to keep their composure in this situation. He opened his mouth to explain.I gave Patrasche her reward?I should also give Happy his reward.. Again reward. This jerk's damn reward.The moment I heard it, I felt very offended. I was angry with him who demanded lovers' behaviour whenever the reward was mentioned. Maybe this guy was really weird hence he really didn't know the concept of giving a reward. But I still hated it. Maybe this was hopeless, just hearing the word reward made me frustrated.Being the only one whose heart was pounding, I felt like an idiot.And, though it's impossible, I felt like he was teasing me. But since the olden times, don't you give a reward when something pleases you?Then this guy, whenever he gotexcited,he kissed me- and then named it as giving reward'? kwa-chak, I heard the sound of my pride getting squashed somewhere.nothing.?I've not done anything deserving of a reward.At the feeble words I spat out, Jun Hyung looked at me with a slightly startled look. I felt a sigh escaping my mouth as I turned my head sideways. I could see his strong arms right next to me.With respect to the treatment of Patrasche..He answered as if I was the only person who came to mind...For a moment, there was a heavy silence.Even his comforting stare felt as hot as fire. I endured his gaze and while staring at his arms I recalled his gaze before.Then my heart started to beat like crazy again. Say it Say it Just spit it out!Ask.You're curious.Ask quickly.It seemed like someone was commanding me in my head. I bit my lips and asked with a suppressed voice.Min Hyung?Then I alsofrom Min Hyung.Receive reward..The atmosphere became still again. I think he's somewhat angry. There was a somewhat frosty silence I slowly looked up, and he was looking at me with narrowed eyes.His dark pupils were right in front of me.From Min Hyung?!You want to get it from Min Hyung?The moment he spoke, I was startled and trembled a bit. He whispered right next to my ear! Unfamiliar with the warm breath of another person coming next to my ears, I shuddered unconsciously. I loosened my hand that was holding the bedsheet and tried to push away his shoulder. However, as if that action made him angrier, he whispered beside my ear.But you said you like me more than Min Hyung.!!Liar.!!! Damn it. Such childish complaints, don't say it near my ear!!!!I wanted to scream that as I writhed my body. I was turning insane. Talking about such childish subject, his husky voice filled with desire, turned my mind into a mess.Let go! Please. What are you doing now, please let me go.I struggled desperately to escape. And as if my fierce defiance was too strong for him, so to comfort me, Jun Hyung started to press down my lower body with his own.!! Ju Jun Hyung?I was completely frozen with shock. Well, even if I hadn't, I'd be unable to move..I looked at him with my eyes wide open. He had a blank face. For an instant, it looked like he was angry.What exactly was this position? What do you want to do now.Happy.When he saw my pupils trembling with anxiety, he called me with a hoarse voice and tilted my face a bit. I closed my eyes in a spite of myself. His hot lips touched my forehead. That instant, I felt like I was on fire, my whole body recoiled again and my eyes opened.And met with his eyes. He stared at me deeply in silence.WhySuddenly, a sad voice escaped from my lips. That question that had been repeated for a long time in solitude.Upon hearing my voice, his eyes contained a strange glint. I didn't have the courage to face his eyes so I closed mine once again.Why To Patrasche you did not give her a reward personally?. Why do you kiss me?That was what I really wanted to ask But a different question came out of my mouth.You Why were you kissing me? Aren't I your pet? To you, I am, only just a little more special than a pet.That's.Reward Only for Happy.?Only for Happy?At Jun Hyung's answer, I slowly opened my eyes. He had given yet another vague reply that was hard to interpret. It's a reward only to Happy. Did that mean me? Or the existence with the name Happy? When you had that dog named Happy, did you also give him a deep kiss as a reward? sigh.I don't know where this outrageous thought came from. This guy was really a little kid at that time...There was another brief silence, it was Jun Hyung who opened his mouth first.You.Because it was me who picked you up.You can't accept any reward from other guys.?As if to warn, Jun Hyung glared at me and growled.That remark threw me further into confusion.What did that mean? What do you mean by that?Not giving any time to organize my thoughts, he inched his face closer to mine. This time our lips touched slowly. I could feel his hot breath through our overlapping lips. I grabbed his shoulders tightly with my trembling hands. At that moment, Jun Hyung's body faintly shuddered and the kiss turned intense.Eub haaaaI couldn't breathe.I thought absentmindedly in a chaotic state of mind. He was kissing me so fiercely that even he had no time to breathe.No, not anymore Stop now already, please.The moment I thought that I had reached my limit, his lips slowly parted from mine. Haa-haa, he breathed heavily. I also tried frantically to inhale the air. After that kiss, he once again buried his face in my neck. This time, because I was wearing only thin indoor clothes, it felt as if his soft lips were blanketing my defenceless skin. His breath brushed and spread at that area on my neck.Happy!!And when he called me, I was startled. And the little movements of his lips while he said the word Happy', I felt the vibrations of his word very vividly on my neck.My whole body stiffened as I put strength into my hands grabbing his shoulders. Then, Jun Hyung also seemed to stiffen from surprise, and suddenly bit my neck.Wha-What??!!Ahh!!At that moment, I let out a startled scream involuntarily.He started to suck my neck more forcefully.What were you doing, you're the owner, not the dog! Neither are you a Dracula!!! Why did you bite into someone else's neck and attack in a frenzy!! Let me go, please! I can't anymore!!Ju-Jun!!When I tried to call out his name, he put up his hand and blocked my mouth. My eyes widened in astonishment once again.What are you planning on doing Now, you to me, what are you trying to doI was filled with anxiety and struggled to escape from his hands.Suddenly, I thought I looked exactly like a woman that was on the verge of being assaulted. Jun Hyung suddenly stopped sucking my neck and Haahaa-ed as he breathed roughly. Then a hoarse voice, with hidden subtle emotions, came from his mouth.Be quiet, HappySince there are other people outsideYou can't be loud..At that moment, I remembered his family which I forgot about. Right, right now, his family was all sitting around in the living room watching TV!This was outrageous.I was so shocked that I let out a silent scream.As I calmed down, he slowly went near my neck and buried his lips there again. It seemed like he would continue doing what he has been before. I was being unreasonable, his movements were by no means hard to resist.When I had calmed down, Jun Hyung poured fierce kisses on my neck and slid his other hand which wasn't blocking my mouth in my T-shirt.!!Don't be loud?! But, the door wasn't locked!Without knowing my worries, his hand that entered the T-shirt started to slowly stroke my side. I was surprised as if I was on fire. His skilful movements sent goose bumps up from the tips of my toes. I tried to raise my body several times without realizing, my lower body was trapped tightly between his legs, only my waist slightly moved up.!!!!The moan reached my throat and almost came out. I desperately tried to bite my lips and hold back the sound. His hand, that had been stroking my side, was now stroking my chest. His lips that were sucking my neck now began to gradually move down.Ha hiss!Shh. Be quiet, Happy It's okay. u uhhYes, good boy.He was talking as if he was soothing a child, who's treating who as a kid now! Even though I thought so just, I couldn't move a bit, my head went blank. Only the fact that His family is outside, so you can't be loud.' came across my blank mind clearly as if it had been engraved in it.And when his hand finally touched the zipper on my pants, I've come to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore. At the important part that swelled, his hand touched there.Surprised at the unexpected sensation, I writhed my waist violently and struggled.Wait, no do not! And thenForgetting that his family was outside, I screamed loudly. What was that sound?From the living room came a questioning voice. And when the footsteps grew nearer and nearer, I wanted to just evaporate like this.