Chapter 20
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***
This chapter features part of the conversation Alex and Angel had while on the overpass in chapter 19. There are some moments of foreshadowing and important concepts but not much plot to miss if you decide to skip it.
***
"Earlier when you calmed me down from my road rage I..." Alex began but couldn't find the words he wanted to say.
["I know Alex, I can read your mind."]
"Even though you can see what I'm thinking, I still need to say some things out loud. Otherwise, it doesn't feel like I've truly said them."
Alex began explaining about why he got so angry while driving earlier.
"When I was in high school, my best friend since kindergarten died because of a drunk driver. my neighbor's sweet little girl also died in a car accident too. Her life ended so early all because a reckless driver got impatient at the light. It broke my heart both times and in both of those cases, their deaths could have been avoided if only the drivers had made better choices. I think people don't care because they think it will never happen to them. Or maybe they think there's nothing they can do about it. That they'd have to fight too many powerful organizations to make a difference and that doing all this still won't make a difference. So most of us just pray that nothing bad happens to anyone we love and go on with our lives."
Alex fell silent as he thought about those days and Angel gave him his moment alone.
"It still hurts. I am afraid for my family every time they leave the house. I can't help it. The fear was so deep at times that I had to repeatedly tell myself that everything will be alright. that they'll be safe... It practically became a chant. A half prayer."
Alex fell silent for a moment again before continuing.
"Angel, can you take me to a world that doesn't have cars? I wish I was back in that one world with the magic. I would be very happy just having clear-cut bad guys to kill. If they were evil, I wouldn't have to even use my brain to think. I just want simple."
Alex was tired of being afraid for his loved ones and wanted to know that everything he cared for was ultimately safe. He began to cry as he voiced his fears and the tension that had been eating away at his heart for most of his former life was exposed to the air.
["Maybe they're living another life already. You ran into Chris twice already so there's a chance you'll run into other friends and loved ones again too."]
"But how would I even know and how would they even know if they don't remember me?" Alex thinks for a moment before Angel answers and further asks, "How come I can remember everything?"
Angel was silent a moment before she answered.
["As you've seen, soul's have memory. Even if the brain doesn't have the memories of past lives, the soul may."]
"But what if their memories are lost with a fragment? How would they ever get them back? And what if some god or demon comes along and takes that fragment for themselves like we've been doing?"
["That's a big what-if question. Fragments don't separate from souls very often. Not naturally anyway. And what does get lost usually isn't anything significant. As you've seen, the fragments are usually short traumatic memories or experiences. So I don't think you have to worry about them too much. Just keep them in your heart like you have and maybe someday you'll see them again in happier times."]
Alex became lost in thought as he tried to absorb everything while still thinking about all that he saw and all that still worried him.
"There was something else I wanted to ask about, but it feels like my brain just can't hold onto anything. This is frustrating."
["Your soul and Chuck's brain are not in sync and it's probably better that way. This wasn't your body after all. And I believe you wanted to ask about regaining your friends' memories as you were still worrying about their souls turning into fragments. Just remember, people forget things all the time. Most people can't remember what they ate or how breakfast tasted. Or their brains remember an argument differently than how it actually went."]
"You're losing me a bit. I wish I was as smart as you Angel."
["No, I'm going off topic just a little. You got me thinking about many things with all your thoughts."] Angel told Alex with a bit of laughter in her voice.
"Ah! That's right. If we can absorb fragments of a soul, why can't we just absorb an entire whole soul?"
Angel naturally saw this question coming and was ready with an answer.
["Remember what I told you about souls having willpower. The more lucid a soul fragment is the more willpower it should have and the more willpower it has the more it can resist being attacked and absorbed. Having a living body to anchor and protect a young soul also helps. When someone is being possessed, there is usually a battle of wills taking place within the body. And a young soul that's lost its body could be much more vulnerable to attacks."]
"Is that what we're doing? Attacking these broken pieces of souls?"
["Essentially we are taking them without asking if they want to be taken. That counts as an attack to me. Also, I believe that fully sentient and mature souls like yours are able to move and act more freely if they wish. So imagine this; Say that we have successfully absorbed twenty complete souls but they want to leave. Fully sentient souls can use their willpower to try and free themselves and you would have to use a greater amount of willpower to keep them contained. You would also have to use more power to even absorb their willpower to use it for yourself. And you would need more than what you'd get for the most part anyway. So it is a losing and fruitless battle for mature souls to be kept if they don't want to be contained and used as batteries. I believe that is also what the old man meant when he said gathering souls would be a temporary solution. Someday the fragments we gather could learn and grow to become fully sentient mature souls which may no longer be usable for what we need them for. But that is not likely to be an issue for a very long time. Most of the time, gods use worlds or their own domains that they rule over to contain sentient souls. That is essentially what Tartarus or other places of the afterlife are. Places where the ruling gods can harvest large quantities of power from souls. Even the living can give gods power. Why else do you think gods would care whether people worshiped them or not?"]
Alex was still unaware that a simple system like Angel should not have this kind of insider information.
"Will my soul still grow even though I'm already dead? What would happen to me if the old man really sent me to Tartarus?"
["Don't worry about Tartarus for now. And you're still able to talk and learn aren't you? You learn from everything you do, from reading a good story to stubbing your toe. Maybe you will learn to stop stubbing your toe because you don't like the consequences. Little things like that add up and all become experiences that grow your soul."]
"Some of the fragments we got came from people who overdosed on their drugs. Does the soul learn from these experiences too?"
["It probably depends on the soul. For example, those fragments from overdose deaths broke off from their host soul. When that happens the experience contained in the fragment's memory is also lost. So it is possible the souls couldn't handle the experience or just rejected it for other reasons. Perhaps some souls instinctively shed parts to purify themselves."]
"I guess souls can have things they want to forget too huh?" Alex said as he nodded his head while he began to think to himself about all sorts of things. To Angel, his rambling thoughts were quite entertaining to watch while trying to predict the direction his mind would go.
[Where do you go when you're dreaming? Does the soul journey outside briefly to experience more things while still being connected to the body? Or is there a connection to other places and people that the soul can use to stay at home but still talk to others? Like a cell phone for the soul? Or a Skype call? Are the thoughts of our mind only in our brain? Ghosts don't have brains yet they still follow memories or even have thoughts of their own depending on the ghost. This tells me there is more to the mind than the physical flesh of our bodies. This tells me that the soul is like a cloud save that learns at least the same things the body does. And there are experiences that only having a living body can give you. To fall sick or ill in other ways or all sorts of ways to be sick. To fall in love and have the chemicals in your brain and body change and become addicted to the one you love. To feel heartache? Can souls also feel these things? If the source is emotional then perhaps so but perhaps without a physical heart, the sensation of the phenomenon of heartache and other such things is experienced differently...]
By the end of his string of thoughts, Alex began to wonder about the ultimate purpose of life and what had happened to his old body.
"Why do souls live here on Earth to begin with? Where do souls come from and why don't we all just stay there to grow?"
["Some theories say that souls form from the convergence of will. That the echoes of will stick together and form a soul."]
"Then where does will come from?"
["Like I said there are theories. Only some things are known. For instance, souls have willpower and exerting this will creates waves in a pond or echoes around the mountains. Or simply just by having willpower and will, that ripples of willpower spread out into the void and eventually shape things or events whether by accident or design. As I said before, sometimes this passive will or forceful willpower ends up sticking together to mutate the willpower and maybe create a new soul."]
"This still doesn't explain where willpower first comes from though."
["Yes the old chicken or the egg question. I don't know the source of the first will. I can only make guesses and convince myself that I might be right. There was a joke about what came first? The chicken or the egg. And the punchline was that the person that asked that question came first. That it didn't so much matter what the origin of will was because it was already there."]
Angel could tell that her attempted explanations were only confusing Alex further.
["If my answers don't satisfy you, you could just ask the old man when you see him again."]
Angel was not above deflecting troublesome questions onto others and Alex decided to think about all this another time.
"I wonder what happened to my body..."
["Your old body was just a protective shell for you. I know you were attached to it but it's now gone and you don't need it any longer."]
"Some of my friends thought they'd need their body in order to get resurrected later on."
["As you've experienced Alex, there are other gods out there and what happens to all the various believers is between their own god or gods and them."]
"But where did the gods come from? Someone must have created them right?"
["In Earth's mythology and ancient religions there are many origins of gods or godly beings. Some are given birth to from parent gods. Others grow their soul and become gods. There are many ways recorded but as far as an original creator God? Perhaps that is the "One true God" that so many religions claim as their own. Please keep in mind though, that it is not my place to say what is true or not. I can only go by what I've seen and experienced."]
At this point, Alex finally began to suspect that Angel was more than who or what she seemed to be. So Angel quickly changed the subject to distract his probing thoughts.
["You've experienced many pieces of other peoples' lives and deaths now. Did you like experiencing s*x for the first time?"]
Angel's question knocked the complicated thoughts right out of Alex's brain and made him recall some of the more adult memories with a grimace.
"None of those... moments were very good."
["Were the women not pretty enough for you?"] Angel teased and kept the momentum up and firmly away from any suspicion directed her way.
Alex cringed, "Not just the women. I really didn't enjoy the feeling of that old dude entering me."
Alex had experienced some of the naked and brutal truth of intimacy between strangers from the perspective of both men and women and even some same s*x couples while gathering the fragments.
["Yeah... it's a shame those moments weren't very tender. Someone did die from it after all. But, making love between people that really like or love each other is far sweeter and something to look forward to. At least from what I can tell. It's too bad all those people didn't live long enough to find true happiness. I wonder where their souls went?"]
Angel was throwing out a bunch of food for thought but Alex's mind had touched on something else.
"You said earlier that gods can have s*x too right? Does that mean there's still a chance for me?"
["Perhaps. Perhaps life as a god is more normal than you think... You'll just have to continue on and find out."]
This question led Alex to wonder what life as a god would be like.
End of the side story.
End of Volume 1: How He Got There.
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
***
This chapter features part of the conversation Alex and Angel had while on the overpass in chapter 19. There are some moments of foreshadowing and important concepts but not much plot to miss if you decide to skip it.
***
"Earlier when you calmed me down from my road rage I..." Alex began but couldn't find the words he wanted to say.
["I know Alex, I can read your mind."]
"Even though you can see what I'm thinking, I still need to say some things out loud. Otherwise, it doesn't feel like I've truly said them."
Alex began explaining about why he got so angry while driving earlier.
"When I was in high school, my best friend since kindergarten died because of a drunk driver. my neighbor's sweet little girl also died in a car accident too. Her life ended so early all because a reckless driver got impatient at the light. It broke my heart both times and in both of those cases, their deaths could have been avoided if only the drivers had made better choices. I think people don't care because they think it will never happen to them. Or maybe they think there's nothing they can do about it. That they'd have to fight too many powerful organizations to make a difference and that doing all this still won't make a difference. So most of us just pray that nothing bad happens to anyone we love and go on with our lives."
Alex fell silent as he thought about those days and Angel gave him his moment alone.
"It still hurts. I am afraid for my family every time they leave the house. I can't help it. The fear was so deep at times that I had to repeatedly tell myself that everything will be alright. that they'll be safe... It practically became a chant. A half prayer."
Alex fell silent for a moment again before continuing.
"Angel, can you take me to a world that doesn't have cars? I wish I was back in that one world with the magic. I would be very happy just having clear-cut bad guys to kill. If they were evil, I wouldn't have to even use my brain to think. I just want simple."
Alex was tired of being afraid for his loved ones and wanted to know that everything he cared for was ultimately safe. He began to cry as he voiced his fears and the tension that had been eating away at his heart for most of his former life was exposed to the air.
["Maybe they're living another life already. You ran into Chris twice already so there's a chance you'll run into other friends and loved ones again too."]
"But how would I even know and how would they even know if they don't remember me?" Alex thinks for a moment before Angel answers and further asks, "How come I can remember everything?"
Angel was silent a moment before she answered.
["As you've seen, soul's have memory. Even if the brain doesn't have the memories of past lives, the soul may."]
"But what if their memories are lost with a fragment? How would they ever get them back? And what if some god or demon comes along and takes that fragment for themselves like we've been doing?"
["That's a big what-if question. Fragments don't separate from souls very often. Not naturally anyway. And what does get lost usually isn't anything significant. As you've seen, the fragments are usually short traumatic memories or experiences. So I don't think you have to worry about them too much. Just keep them in your heart like you have and maybe someday you'll see them again in happier times."]
Alex became lost in thought as he tried to absorb everything while still thinking about all that he saw and all that still worried him.
"There was something else I wanted to ask about, but it feels like my brain just can't hold onto anything. This is frustrating."
["Your soul and Chuck's brain are not in sync and it's probably better that way. This wasn't your body after all. And I believe you wanted to ask about regaining your friends' memories as you were still worrying about their souls turning into fragments. Just remember, people forget things all the time. Most people can't remember what they ate or how breakfast tasted. Or their brains remember an argument differently than how it actually went."]
"You're losing me a bit. I wish I was as smart as you Angel."
["No, I'm going off topic just a little. You got me thinking about many things with all your thoughts."] Angel told Alex with a bit of laughter in her voice.
"Ah! That's right. If we can absorb fragments of a soul, why can't we just absorb an entire whole soul?"
Angel naturally saw this question coming and was ready with an answer.
["Remember what I told you about souls having willpower. The more lucid a soul fragment is the more willpower it should have and the more willpower it has the more it can resist being attacked and absorbed. Having a living body to anchor and protect a young soul also helps. When someone is being possessed, there is usually a battle of wills taking place within the body. And a young soul that's lost its body could be much more vulnerable to attacks."]
"Is that what we're doing? Attacking these broken pieces of souls?"
["Essentially we are taking them without asking if they want to be taken. That counts as an attack to me. Also, I believe that fully sentient and mature souls like yours are able to move and act more freely if they wish. So imagine this; Say that we have successfully absorbed twenty complete souls but they want to leave. Fully sentient souls can use their willpower to try and free themselves and you would have to use a greater amount of willpower to keep them contained. You would also have to use more power to even absorb their willpower to use it for yourself. And you would need more than what you'd get for the most part anyway. So it is a losing and fruitless battle for mature souls to be kept if they don't want to be contained and used as batteries. I believe that is also what the old man meant when he said gathering souls would be a temporary solution. Someday the fragments we gather could learn and grow to become fully sentient mature souls which may no longer be usable for what we need them for. But that is not likely to be an issue for a very long time. Most of the time, gods use worlds or their own domains that they rule over to contain sentient souls. That is essentially what Tartarus or other places of the afterlife are. Places where the ruling gods can harvest large quantities of power from souls. Even the living can give gods power. Why else do you think gods would care whether people worshiped them or not?"]
Alex was still unaware that a simple system like Angel should not have this kind of insider information.
"Will my soul still grow even though I'm already dead? What would happen to me if the old man really sent me to Tartarus?"
["Don't worry about Tartarus for now. And you're still able to talk and learn aren't you? You learn from everything you do, from reading a good story to stubbing your toe. Maybe you will learn to stop stubbing your toe because you don't like the consequences. Little things like that add up and all become experiences that grow your soul."]
"Some of the fragments we got came from people who overdosed on their drugs. Does the soul learn from these experiences too?"
["It probably depends on the soul. For example, those fragments from overdose deaths broke off from their host soul. When that happens the experience contained in the fragment's memory is also lost. So it is possible the souls couldn't handle the experience or just rejected it for other reasons. Perhaps some souls instinctively shed parts to purify themselves."]
"I guess souls can have things they want to forget too huh?" Alex said as he nodded his head while he began to think to himself about all sorts of things. To Angel, his rambling thoughts were quite entertaining to watch while trying to predict the direction his mind would go.
[Where do you go when you're dreaming? Does the soul journey outside briefly to experience more things while still being connected to the body? Or is there a connection to other places and people that the soul can use to stay at home but still talk to others? Like a cell phone for the soul? Or a Skype call? Are the thoughts of our mind only in our brain? Ghosts don't have brains yet they still follow memories or even have thoughts of their own depending on the ghost. This tells me there is more to the mind than the physical flesh of our bodies. This tells me that the soul is like a cloud save that learns at least the same things the body does. And there are experiences that only having a living body can give you. To fall sick or ill in other ways or all sorts of ways to be sick. To fall in love and have the chemicals in your brain and body change and become addicted to the one you love. To feel heartache? Can souls also feel these things? If the source is emotional then perhaps so but perhaps without a physical heart, the sensation of the phenomenon of heartache and other such things is experienced differently...]
By the end of his string of thoughts, Alex began to wonder about the ultimate purpose of life and what had happened to his old body.
"Why do souls live here on Earth to begin with? Where do souls come from and why don't we all just stay there to grow?"
["Some theories say that souls form from the convergence of will. That the echoes of will stick together and form a soul."]
"Then where does will come from?"
["Like I said there are theories. Only some things are known. For instance, souls have willpower and exerting this will creates waves in a pond or echoes around the mountains. Or simply just by having willpower and will, that ripples of willpower spread out into the void and eventually shape things or events whether by accident or design. As I said before, sometimes this passive will or forceful willpower ends up sticking together to mutate the willpower and maybe create a new soul."]
"This still doesn't explain where willpower first comes from though."
["Yes the old chicken or the egg question. I don't know the source of the first will. I can only make guesses and convince myself that I might be right. There was a joke about what came first? The chicken or the egg. And the punchline was that the person that asked that question came first. That it didn't so much matter what the origin of will was because it was already there."]
Angel could tell that her attempted explanations were only confusing Alex further.
["If my answers don't satisfy you, you could just ask the old man when you see him again."]
Angel was not above deflecting troublesome questions onto others and Alex decided to think about all this another time.
"I wonder what happened to my body..."
["Your old body was just a protective shell for you. I know you were attached to it but it's now gone and you don't need it any longer."]
"Some of my friends thought they'd need their body in order to get resurrected later on."
["As you've experienced Alex, there are other gods out there and what happens to all the various believers is between their own god or gods and them."]
"But where did the gods come from? Someone must have created them right?"
["In Earth's mythology and ancient religions there are many origins of gods or godly beings. Some are given birth to from parent gods. Others grow their soul and become gods. There are many ways recorded but as far as an original creator God? Perhaps that is the "One true God" that so many religions claim as their own. Please keep in mind though, that it is not my place to say what is true or not. I can only go by what I've seen and experienced."]
At this point, Alex finally began to suspect that Angel was more than who or what she seemed to be. So Angel quickly changed the subject to distract his probing thoughts.
["You've experienced many pieces of other peoples' lives and deaths now. Did you like experiencing s*x for the first time?"]
Angel's question knocked the complicated thoughts right out of Alex's brain and made him recall some of the more adult memories with a grimace.
"None of those... moments were very good."
["Were the women not pretty enough for you?"] Angel teased and kept the momentum up and firmly away from any suspicion directed her way.
Alex cringed, "Not just the women. I really didn't enjoy the feeling of that old dude entering me."
Alex had experienced some of the naked and brutal truth of intimacy between strangers from the perspective of both men and women and even some same s*x couples while gathering the fragments.
["Yeah... it's a shame those moments weren't very tender. Someone did die from it after all. But, making love between people that really like or love each other is far sweeter and something to look forward to. At least from what I can tell. It's too bad all those people didn't live long enough to find true happiness. I wonder where their souls went?"]
Angel was throwing out a bunch of food for thought but Alex's mind had touched on something else.
"You said earlier that gods can have s*x too right? Does that mean there's still a chance for me?"
["Perhaps. Perhaps life as a god is more normal than you think... You'll just have to continue on and find out."]
This question led Alex to wonder what life as a god would be like.
End of the side story.
End of Volume 1: How He Got There.
***This chapter features part of the conversation Alex and Angel had while on the overpass in chapter 19. There are some moments of foreshadowing and important concepts but not much plot to miss if you decide to skip it.***"Earlier when you calmed me down from my road rage I..." Alex began but couldn't find the words he wanted to say."I know Alex, I can read your mind.""Even though you can see what I'm thinking, I still need to say some things out loud. Otherwise, it doesn't feel like I've truly said them."Alex began explaining about why he got so angry while driving earlier."When I was in high school, my best friend since kindergarten died because of a drunk driver. my neighbor's sweet little girl also died in a car accident too. Her life ended so early all because a reckless driver got impatient at the light. It broke my heart both times and in both of those cases, their deaths could have been avoided if only the drivers had made better choices. I think people don't care because they think it will never happen to them. Or maybe they think there's nothing they can do about it. That they'd have to fight too many powerful organizations to make a difference and that doing all this still won't make a difference. So most of us just pray that nothing bad happens to anyone we love and go on with our lives."Alex fell silent as he thought about those days and Angel gave him his moment alone."It still hurts. I am afraid for my family every time they leave the house. I can't help it. The fear was so deep at times that I had to repeatedly tell myself that everything will be alright. that they'll be safe... It practically became a chant. A half prayer."Alex fell silent for a moment again before continuing."Angel, can you take me to a world that doesn't have cars? I wish I was back in that one world with the magic. I would be very happy just having clear-cut bad guys to kill. If they were evil, I wouldn't have to even use my brain to think. I just want simple."Alex was tired of being afraid for his loved ones and wanted to know that everything he cared for was ultimately safe. He began to cry as he voiced his fears and the tension that had been eating away at his heart for most of his former life was exposed to the air."Maybe they're living another life already. You ran into Chris twice already so there's a chance you'll run into other friends and loved ones again too.""But how would I even know and how would they even know if they don't remember me?" Alex thinks for a moment before Angel answers and further asks, "How come I can remember everything?"Angel was silent a moment before she answered."As you've seen, soul's have memory. Even if the brain doesn't have the memories of past lives, the soul may.""But what if their memories are lost with a fragment? How would they ever get them back? And what if some god or demon comes along and takes that fragment for themselves like we've been doing?""That's a big what-if question. Fragments don't separate from souls very often. Not naturally anyway. And what does get lost usually isn't anything significant. As you've seen, the fragments are usually short traumatic memories or experiences. So I don't think you have to worry about them too much. Just keep them in your heart like you have and maybe someday you'll see them again in happier times."Alex became lost in thought as he tried to absorb everything while still thinking about all that he saw and all that still worried him."There was something else I wanted to ask about, but it feels like my brain just can't hold onto anything. This is frustrating.""Your soul and Chuck's brain are not in sync and it's probably better that way. This wasn't your body after all. And I believe you wanted to ask about regaining your friends' memories as you were still worrying about their souls turning into fragments. Just remember, people forget things all the time. Most people can't remember what they ate or how breakfast tasted. Or their brains remember an argument differently than how it actually went.""You're losing me a bit. I wish I was as smart as you Angel.""No, I'm going off topic just a little. You got me thinking about many things with all your thoughts." Angel told Alex with a bit of laughter in her voice."Ah! That's right. If we can absorb fragments of a soul, why can't we just absorb an entire whole soul?"Angel naturally saw this question coming and was ready with an answer."Remember what I told you about souls having willpower. The more lucid a soul fragment is the more willpower it should have and the more willpower it has the more it can resist being attacked and absorbed. Having a living body to anchor and protect a young soul also helps. When someone is being possessed, there is usually a battle of wills taking place within the body. And a young soul that's lost its body could be much more vulnerable to attacks.""Is that what we're doing? Attacking these broken pieces of souls?""Essentially we are taking them without asking if they want to be taken. That counts as an attack to me. Also, I believe that fully sentient and mature souls like yours are able to move and act more freely if they wish. So imagine this; Say that we have successfully absorbed twenty complete souls but they want to leave. Fully sentient souls can use their willpower to try and free themselves and you would have to use a greater amount of willpower to keep them contained. You would also have to use more power to even absorb their willpower to use it for yourself. And you would need more than what you'd get for the most part anyway. So it is a losing and fruitless battle for mature souls to be kept if they don't want to be contained and used as batteries. I believe that is also what the old man meant when he said gathering souls would be a temporary solution. Someday the fragments we gather could learn and grow to become fully sentient mature souls which may no longer be usable for what we need them for. But that is not likely to be an issue for a very long time. Most of the time, gods use worlds or their own domains that they rule over to contain sentient souls. That is essentially what Tartarus or other places of the afterlife are. Places where the ruling gods can harvest large quantities of power from souls. Even the living can give gods power. Why else do you think gods would care whether people worshiped them or not?"Alex was still unaware that a simple system like Angel should not have this kind of insider information."Will my soul still grow even though I'm already dead? What would happen to me if the old man really sent me to Tartarus?""Don't worry about Tartarus for now. And you're still able to talk and learn aren't you? You learn from everything you do, from reading a good story to stubbing your toe. Maybe you will learn to stop stubbing your toe because you don't like the consequences. Little things like that add up and all become experiences that grow your soul.""Some of the fragments we got came from people who overdosed on their drugs. Does the soul learn from these experiences too?""It probably depends on the soul. For example, those fragments from overdose deaths broke off from their host soul. When that happens the experience contained in the fragment's memory is also lost. So it is possible the souls couldn't handle the experience or just rejected it for other reasons. Perhaps some souls instinctively shed parts to purify themselves.""I guess souls can have things they want to forget too huh?" Alex said as he nodded his head while he began to think to himself about all sorts of things. To Angel, his rambling thoughts were quite entertaining to watch while trying to predict the direction his mind would go.Where do you go when you're dreaming? Does the soul journey outside briefly to experience more things while still being connected to the body? Or is there a connection to other places and people that the soul can use to stay at home but still talk to others? Like a cell phone for the soul? Or a Skype call? Are the thoughts of our mind only in our brain? Ghosts don't have brains yet they still follow memories or even have thoughts of their own depending on the ghost. This tells me there is more to the mind than the physical flesh of our bodies. This tells me that the soul is like a cloud save that learns at least the same things the body does. And there are experiences that only having a living body can give you. To fall sick or ill in other ways or all sorts of ways to be sick. To fall in love and have the chemicals in your brain and body change and become addicted to the one you love. To feel heartache? Can souls also feel these things? If the source is emotional then perhaps so but perhaps without a physical heart, the sensation of the phenomenon of heartache and other such things is experienced differently...By the end of his string of thoughts, Alex began to wonder about the ultimate purpose of life and what had happened to his old body."Why do souls live here on Earth to begin with? Where do souls come from and why don't we all just stay there to grow?""Some theories say that souls form from the convergence of will. That the echoes of will stick together and form a soul.""Then where does will come from?""Like I said there are theories. Only some things are known. For instance, souls have willpower and exerting this will creates waves in a pond or echoes around the mountains. Or simply just by having willpower and will, that ripples of willpower spread out into the void and eventually shape things or events whether by accident or design. As I said before, sometimes this passive will or forceful willpower ends up sticking together to mutate the willpower and maybe create a new soul.""This still doesn't explain where willpower first comes from though.""Yes the old chicken or the egg question. I don't know the source of the first will. I can only make guesses and convince myself that I might be right. There was a joke about what came first? The chicken or the egg. And the punchline was that the person that asked that question came first. That it didn't so much matter what the origin of will was because it was already there."Angel could tell that her attempted explanations were only confusing Alex further."If my answers don't satisfy you, you could just ask the old man when you see him again."Angel was not above deflecting troublesome questions onto others and Alex decided to think about all this another time."I wonder what happened to my body...""Your old body was just a protective shell for you. I know you were attached to it but it's now gone and you don't need it any longer.""Some of my friends thought they'd need their body in order to get resurrected later on.""As you've experienced Alex, there are other gods out there and what happens to all the various believers is between their own god or gods and them.""But where did the gods come from? Someone must have created them right?""In Earth's mythology and ancient religions there are many origins of gods or godly beings. Some are given birth to from parent gods. Others grow their soul and become gods. There are many ways recorded but as far as an original creator God? Perhaps that is the "One true God" that so many religions claim as their own. Please keep in mind though, that it is not my place to say what is true or not. I can only go by what I've seen and experienced."At this point, Alex finally began to suspect that Angel was more than who or what she seemed to be. So Angel quickly changed the subject to distract his probing thoughts."You've experienced many pieces of other peoples' lives and deaths now. Did you like experiencing s*x for the first time?"Angel's question knocked the complicated thoughts right out of Alex's brain and made him recall some of the more adult memories with a grimace."None of those... moments were very good.""Were the women not pretty enough for you?" Angel teased and kept the momentum up and firmly away from any suspicion directed her way.Alex cringed, "Not just the women. I really didn't enjoy the feeling of that old dude entering me."Alex had experienced some of the naked and brutal truth of intimacy between strangers from the perspective of both men and women and even some same s*x couples while gathering the fragments."Yeah... it's a shame those moments weren't very tender. Someone did die from it after all. But, making love between people that really like or love each other is far sweeter and something to look forward to. At least from what I can tell. It's too bad all those people didn't live long enough to find true happiness. I wonder where their souls went?"Angel was throwing out a bunch of food for thought but Alex's mind had touched on something else."You said earlier that gods can have s*x too right? Does that mean there's still a chance for me?""Perhaps. Perhaps life as a god is more normal than you think... You'll just have to continue on and find out."This question led Alex to wonder what life as a god would be like.End of the side story.End of Volume 1: How He Got There.
