Chapter 94 - Hard to Get Poor After Being Wealthy
Translator: Lav
Editor: Levs
Shi Lei's heart softened and said: "I'll treat you to dinner today."
Zhang Liangliang was shocked: "Are you sure you said the right thing? You treat me, and not the other way around?"
Shi Lei remembered that he only spent about 100 yuan on lunch and he still had about 3,000 yuan left. Hence, Shi Lei said: "I'll treat you to that super expensive buffet, yes? The one that cost more than 1,000 yuan in that tall building to make up for your regret from last night."
Zhang Liangliang was overjoyed but quickly, she shook her head: "Nevermind, it's hard for you to earn money. You come to my place twice a week and it's only 240 yuan. It cost more than 1,000 yuan for one person and that's more than a month of your income. Not to mention that we have two people. You need three months to earn back the money for this meal. Let's just go to the street last time and eat some food there. Street food are nice too and it's almost the same as buffet. You pay for whatever you want to eat, except the payment method is different."
After hearing Zhang Liangliang's words, Shi Lei suddenly felt delighted as after these three weeks, she really seemed to have changed completely.
The rebelliousness disappeared and it was replaced by obedience.
After she returned to her normal track, the girl's kindness was fully displayed again.
"Don't worry, I have a lot of money……"
"Ehhh, liar!" Zhang Liangliang grimaced again.
Shi Lei said: "Really!"
"If you are rich, why are you tutoring me!"
"That's my side hobby. I just like watching rebellious girls like you change for the better and return to your normal track. If you do well in your future career and become a strong independent female CEO, and if your name is on Forbes and I just happened to be struggling, perhaps you can help me get back up there!"
Zhang Liangliang laughed out loud. She pointed at Shi Lei and tried her best to hold back her laughter: "Ok, if I really become a strong and independent woman and a CEO, and you just happened to be begging in front of my house, I'll be your sugar daddy!" With that, she laughed as she rolled on her bed.
Shi Lei stretched out his hand and high-fived with Zhang Liangliang pleasantly. Shi Lei said: "It's decided then!"
"I won't go back to my words!" Zhang Liangliang seemed rather heroic.
"Then I need to treat you to dinner to flatter you. Don't worry about it and hang out with me tonight! I'll make sure that you get enough food and drinks!"
Zhang Liangliang didn't have a clear concept on money. She agreed happily at Shi Lei's words: "Ok, you're gonna take care of my 30kg body tonight! I need to eat back whatever I didn't eat last time! If you run out of living expenses, just tell me and I'll be your sugar daddy!"
Shi Lei reached out for Zhang Liangliang's forehead and hit it lightly with his finger: "Sugar daddy your ass! Have you finished this week's homework?"
Zhang Liangliang wasn't mad and giggled: "I'll do it now. Although it's a lot but I'll definitely finish them all before dinner!"
Zhang Liangliang began to do her homework and there were a lot. There were already seven or eight mock exam papers without other parts and she seemed to work hard.
Shi Lei played on his phone and went to Qidian to read a novel called "Supreme Fortune Teller", written by an author called Xiao Se Liang, and asked casually: "Aren't you guys having half yearlies soon? Do you even have them in middle school third year?"
Zhang Liangliang continued to do work as she replied: "Mhm, it's next week."
Without too much thoughts, Shi Lei said: "If the average marks for all of your subjects are over 85, I'll give you a present. What do you like?"
Zhang Liangliang wowed and was extremely excited: "Really? You are giving me a present?"
Shi Lei nodded and said: "Under the circumstance that your average can reach 85 marks."
"Easy peasy! Just wait, you're gonna buy me a present!"
"What kind of present?"
"You'll know when it comes!" Zhang Liangliang was high spirited and wrote even faster.
Just like this, Shi Lei was reading his book, Zhang Liangliang did her homework, Shi Lei thought that if all tutors were this nice and he just needed to come over and watch over the child doing homework, he could do that for his whole life. One in the morning, one in the afternoon, at night…… Hmm, never mind, he would take a break at night as he needed to spend time with his girlfriend. It would be 240 yuan per day, one month…… Uh, it's not too much, just a little over 7,000 yuan.
If it was before, Shi Lei would think that a monthly income of 7,000 yuan wasn't that bad. But now that he had to spend 100,000 yuan per week, which added up to 400,000 yuan per month, merely 7,000 yuan seemed like nothing.
It was easy to be accustomed to being rich after being poor, but it's hard to get used to be poor after being rich!
Shi Lei thought that the Black Card had spoiled him. He felt dissatisfied towards 7,000 yuan per month, but that was his parents' total monthly income with a little extra.
Can't be like this!
But, he just had to be like this. His responsibility of spending 400,000 yuan per month was heavy and was a long way to go.
The sun set quickly. At 5:30PM, Zhang Liangliang finally threw the pen on the desk, stretched and yelled: "Finally done! Oh god, I'm so tired!"
Shi Lei followed his obligations and checked through her homework briefly. It wasn't to check whether she did anything wrong as Shi Lei knew that if Zhang Liangliang did it properly, he couldn't even teach her anything useful with his level. If Zhang Liangliang did a question wrong, then he probably won't be able to solve it either.
The mock exam papers and homework were done in orderly. The arts subjects were filled with pages and pages of words, the science and math related subjects were all answered with clear steps. There were quite a few papers used for draft on the side of her table. From this, she should've done all of them properly.
"Aye, let's go eat!" Shi Lei opened the app and selected a luxurious car model.
He was lucky too. Someone quickly took his order and it was a slightly more extravagant car model of Benz S350. Usually, luxurious car models were 600,000 or 700,000 yuan, but this car was at least 1.2 or 1.3 millions.
After they walked down to the front gate of the district, the car also came. As soon as Zhang Liangliang saw the car, she shouted with exaggeration.
"Damn, Dashu, you really spent a lot of thought on picking up girls. You actually called for a Benz S level?"
Shi Lei hit her on the head again and said: "Picking up girls? You are just a brat who's not even 16 years old yet. This is me taking care of my niece as an uncle."
Zhang Liangliang twitched her lips, rolled her eyes, but pleasantly climbed into the car.
Because Zhang Liangliang was pretty and laughed and talked all the way, even the driver was influenced by her good mood. Shi Lei asked and discovered that this driver was a company's boss. He was rather bored on his way home so if he saw any orders that was on his way home, he would accept it and have someone to talk to. Today was obviously very enjoyable; not from driving a beauty, but because he had fun chatting with Shi Lei and Zhang Liangliang.
They arrived at the renowned tall building very quickly. After Shi Lei confirmed the payment and got off the car, Zhang Liangliang hugged his arms again shamelessly.
Shi Lei was also accustomed to it and didn't mind her as they walked into the front gate of the hotel.
It was their second time here and they were obviously more familiar with their surroundings. They headed straight for the elevator in the corner and pressed the button for the 68th floor. Because the elevator only stopped at the buffet, it only used about 20 seconds to reach the 68th floor.
After they paid for the bill, Zhang Liangliang did not mistreat herself this time and she wanted to eat everything. They ate until 9PM and didn't stop until they were the only table left.
"Oh my god, Dashu, I think I'll gain at least 2.5kg…… No, 5kg!" Zhang Liangliang first stretched out one oily hand, then she also stretched the other even more oily hand out.
If you are enjoying reading the Black Card, please leave a vote !
Chapter 95 - Punished Again
Translator: Lav
Editor: Levs
Although it was already 9PM, but after Zhang Liangliang's mother called her, her face was filled with annoyance.
"Dashu, can you not send me home this early? Zhang Meimei said she won't be home till late night and told me to sleep early. But it's the weekend today, I haven't been out for the whole week! Can you hang out with me? I'll treat you!"
Shi Lei felt sympathetic towards her and thought that he didn't plan to sleep early anyways as he needed to talk to the Scepter after midnight. He had about 200 yuan left anyway and needed to spend them.
He said: "Fine, it's an exception today. Let's go watch a movie, there's one I want to watch."
Zhang Liangliang wowed. She was happy just to be able to stay with Shi Lei and it didn't really matter what they do.
"Dashu, you are bad!" When Shi Lei was purchasing the tickets, Zhang Liangliang continuously made faces next to him.
Shi Lei frowned and asked: "How am I bad?"
"Usually if a boy wants to pick up a girl, he would take her to dinner first, then movies. Because the cinema is quite dark, he can pretend to accidentally touch the girl's hands. If the girl doesn't mind, then that means he can make a move and hold hands. After they hold hands for a while, he can even try to hold her in his arms. If the girl doesn't mind about these, then, hahaha, they are basically together. They kiss each other on the cheek, then on the lips, or even touch……"
Before Zhang Liangliang could finish her words, Shi Lei's facial expressions darkened.
The ticket seller, watching as the boy looked up to the sky, pretended that he didn't hear any of those words. But, does your manager know that you are really bad at acting? Why are you acting if you don't know how!
Shi Lei took the tickets and dragged her on the side.
Chilly wind swept past them and they shivered.
Shi Lei couldn't care less about this and said to Zhang Liangliang with a stern face: "Miss Zhang Liangliang, if you keep doing this, not to mention movies, I won't even eat with you anymore, and I will talk to your mother about it and quit this job. When that time comes, you can eat with whoever you like and watch movies with whoever you want!"
Zhang Liangliang felt wronged by his words. She grabbed onto Shi Lei's arms and swung them back and forth: "Dashu, why are you like this? I just wanted to joke around, I know you won't hold my hands and won't kiss me, but it's just a joke and you are going that far?"
"Yes, definitely. I'm telling you, Zhang Liangliang, you are just a child. If it's not for…… for……"
Shi Lei didn't want to put salt on her wound again and ignored that part: "For that, I really can't be bothered, you know?"
"I'm not a child anymore, I'll be 16 in December."
"16 is still a child. Do you know what's the legal age for an adult? 18!" Shi Lei raged.
"Dashu, is it because I'm not pretty enough?" Zhang Liangliang blinked her big and watery eyes. Her eyelashes were longer than those who put mascara on and her genes were outrageous.
Shi Lei sighed and said: "You are pretty, but this has nothing to do with being pretty. Plus, you met Yiyi already, she's my girlfriend, you know?" Helplessly, Shi Lei could only bring out Sun Yiyi as a shield.
"Ehhh…… Stop lying. I've gotten close to Yi'jie in the past few days. She told me ages ago that she grew up with you and you guys are childhood friends. Even your families wanted you two to be together, but you haven't even held hands yet."
"I held her hands yesterday!" Shi Lei was speechless. This Sun Yiyi was really naive, even a brat like this could easily make her expose so much.
"So what? I don't really care and I don't plan to fight over you with her. Yi'jie is such a good person, whoever fight over things with her, oh, no, dashu isn't a thing……."
Shi Lei's face was gloomy: "You are not a thing(1)!"
Zhang Liangliang laughed and said: "You know I don't mean it. I'm saying that I definitely won't snatch you away from Yi'jie, we can just share!"
Shi Lei slapped her on the head hard this time. The sound was loud and clear and Zhang Liangliang almost cried from the pain.
"Aiyo, Dashu, why are you so harsh on me!"
With a grim face, Shi Lei said: "This is still light! Share? Can this be shared? No, no, I'm not a thing. No, I am a thing? Dear lord, I'm so angry that I can't even make sense of my words anymore!"
Shi Lei was initially trying to scold Zhang Liangliang, but somehow he turned it into a joke. In the end, it did not educate Zhang Liangliang in any way and there were only comedic effects.
Zhang Liangliang giggled so hard that she couldn't straighten her back. She said: "Oh my god, you are so funny. I think I'm going to die from laughing. You are funnier than Guo Degang(2) and much funnier than Wang Zijian. You should go and write jokes for the young master. The talk shows of people who were born in the 80's are horrendous and I can't even watch it. Dandan and Wang Jianguo are definitely at the end of their wits. If you do it, the show would be popular throughout China. You are so funny!"
Shi Lei was really speechless. He discovered that whenever he talked to Zhang Liangliang, he always raged so easily. With this girl, he just couldn't get angry at her. Shi Lei doubted that if he kept on talking to her like this, he would be tricked until the very end.
"We are not watching the movie anymore. I'm sending you home!" Shi Lei pulled out his trump card under this situation. Zhang Liangliang was shocked. She looked at Shi Lei and there were even tears glittering in her eyes.
Holy shit! Can you not be like this?! Sun Yiyi was like this, Zhang Liangliang, too. Are you girls made out of water? Why do you all like to cry so much?
"Don't cry!" Shi Lei commanded strictly.
Zhang Liangliang pouted and said: "Then take me to the movies, I'm not going home!"
Shi Lei gave up and said: "Ok, ok, ok. Watch, we'll watch. What do you want to eat and drink, I'll get it now my little ancestor(3)!"
The tears in Zhang Liangliang's eyes disappeared in an instant and her smile was so bright as if it was the new year: "Popcorn, ice cream, and a Coke!"
Shi Lei went back to a gloomy face, and bought everything she wanted. With the tickets, he finished spending the sum of this week. In the end, this was good news to him.
"Don't be like this, Dashu, don't be angry. I'll listen to you, I definitely won't take any advantage of you under the dark environment of the cinema, ok?"
Shi Lei really wanted to swear and curse at her. In the end, he just glared at her. Seeing that it was almost time, they went straight for the cinema. The movie was not bad either. It was a film Shi Lei wanted to watch for a while and because it was a comedy, Zhang Liangliang was rather happy too. The popcorn in her hands spilled on Shi Lei just like her laughter and he couldn't do anything but pick it up and eat them all.
After the movie ended, it was late. Although the little girl strongly requested to eat supper, but Shi Lei ignored her and forcefully sent her home.
Seeing that there were only ten minutes left until midnight, Shi Lei called a taxi and closed his eyes as he accompanied Er'jie for the night and was really tired.
Suddenly, the taxi driver's nose twitched and asked: "Hey, do you smell something strange?"
Shi Lei didn't notice it before, but now that the driver mentioned it, he felt that his crotch was burning and he clearly saw a thin cloud of bloody fog rose up from his crotch……
HOLY SHIT!!!
You are not a thing: an insult meaning that someone isn't good enough/worthy to be human
Names mentioned in this paragraph are all comedians of China
Ancestor: usually refer to people who are hard to take care of
If you are enjoying reading the Black Card, please leave a vote !
Chapter 94 - Hard to Get Poor After Being Wealthy
Translator: Lav
Editor: Levs
Shi Lei's heart softened and said: "I'll treat you to dinner today."
Zhang Liangliang was shocked: "Are you sure you said the right thing? You treat me, and not the other way around?"
Shi Lei remembered that he only spent about 100 yuan on lunch and he still had about 3,000 yuan left. Hence, Shi Lei said: "I'll treat you to that super expensive buffet, yes? The one that cost more than 1,000 yuan in that tall building to make up for your regret from last night."
Zhang Liangliang was overjoyed but quickly, she shook her head: "Nevermind, it's hard for you to earn money. You come to my place twice a week and it's only 240 yuan. It cost more than 1,000 yuan for one person and that's more than a month of your income. Not to mention that we have two people. You need three months to earn back the money for this meal. Let's just go to the street last time and eat some food there. Street food are nice too and it's almost the same as buffet. You pay for whatever you want to eat, except the payment method is different."
After hearing Zhang Liangliang's words, Shi Lei suddenly felt delighted as after these three weeks, she really seemed to have changed completely.
The rebelliousness disappeared and it was replaced by obedience.
After she returned to her normal track, the girl's kindness was fully displayed again.
"Don't worry, I have a lot of money……"
"Ehhh, liar!" Zhang Liangliang grimaced again.
Shi Lei said: "Really!"
"If you are rich, why are you tutoring me!"
"That's my side hobby. I just like watching rebellious girls like you change for the better and return to your normal track. If you do well in your future career and become a strong independent female CEO, and if your name is on Forbes and I just happened to be struggling, perhaps you can help me get back up there!"
Zhang Liangliang laughed out loud. She pointed at Shi Lei and tried her best to hold back her laughter: "Ok, if I really become a strong and independent woman and a CEO, and you just happened to be begging in front of my house, I'll be your sugar daddy!" With that, she laughed as she rolled on her bed.
Shi Lei stretched out his hand and high-fived with Zhang Liangliang pleasantly. Shi Lei said: "It's decided then!"
"I won't go back to my words!" Zhang Liangliang seemed rather heroic.
"Then I need to treat you to dinner to flatter you. Don't worry about it and hang out with me tonight! I'll make sure that you get enough food and drinks!"
Zhang Liangliang didn't have a clear concept on money. She agreed happily at Shi Lei's words: "Ok, you're gonna take care of my 30kg body tonight! I need to eat back whatever I didn't eat last time! If you run out of living expenses, just tell me and I'll be your sugar daddy!"
Shi Lei reached out for Zhang Liangliang's forehead and hit it lightly with his finger: "Sugar daddy your ass! Have you finished this week's homework?"
Zhang Liangliang wasn't mad and giggled: "I'll do it now. Although it's a lot but I'll definitely finish them all before dinner!"
Zhang Liangliang began to do her homework and there were a lot. There were already seven or eight mock exam papers without other parts and she seemed to work hard.
Shi Lei played on his phone and went to Qidian to read a novel called "Supreme Fortune Teller", written by an author called Xiao Se Liang, and asked casually: "Aren't you guys having half yearlies soon? Do you even have them in middle school third year?"
Zhang Liangliang continued to do work as she replied: "Mhm, it's next week."
Without too much thoughts, Shi Lei said: "If the average marks for all of your subjects are over 85, I'll give you a present. What do you like?"
Zhang Liangliang wowed and was extremely excited: "Really? You are giving me a present?"
Shi Lei nodded and said: "Under the circumstance that your average can reach 85 marks."
"Easy peasy! Just wait, you're gonna buy me a present!"
"What kind of present?"
"You'll know when it comes!" Zhang Liangliang was high spirited and wrote even faster.
Just like this, Shi Lei was reading his book, Zhang Liangliang did her homework, Shi Lei thought that if all tutors were this nice and he just needed to come over and watch over the child doing homework, he could do that for his whole life. One in the morning, one in the afternoon, at night…… Hmm, never mind, he would take a break at night as he needed to spend time with his girlfriend. It would be 240 yuan per day, one month…… Uh, it's not too much, just a little over 7,000 yuan.
If it was before, Shi Lei would think that a monthly income of 7,000 yuan wasn't that bad. But now that he had to spend 100,000 yuan per week, which added up to 400,000 yuan per month, merely 7,000 yuan seemed like nothing.
It was easy to be accustomed to being rich after being poor, but it's hard to get used to be poor after being rich!
Shi Lei thought that the Black Card had spoiled him. He felt dissatisfied towards 7,000 yuan per month, but that was his parents' total monthly income with a little extra.
Can't be like this!
But, he just had to be like this. His responsibility of spending 400,000 yuan per month was heavy and was a long way to go.
The sun set quickly. At 5:30PM, Zhang Liangliang finally threw the pen on the desk, stretched and yelled: "Finally done! Oh god, I'm so tired!"
Shi Lei followed his obligations and checked through her homework briefly. It wasn't to check whether she did anything wrong as Shi Lei knew that if Zhang Liangliang did it properly, he couldn't even teach her anything useful with his level. If Zhang Liangliang did a question wrong, then he probably won't be able to solve it either.
The mock exam papers and homework were done in orderly. The arts subjects were filled with pages and pages of words, the science and math related subjects were all answered with clear steps. There were quite a few papers used for draft on the side of her table. From this, she should've done all of them properly.
"Aye, let's go eat!" Shi Lei opened the app and selected a luxurious car model.
He was lucky too. Someone quickly took his order and it was a slightly more extravagant car model of Benz S350. Usually, luxurious car models were 600,000 or 700,000 yuan, but this car was at least 1.2 or 1.3 millions.
After they walked down to the front gate of the district, the car also came. As soon as Zhang Liangliang saw the car, she shouted with exaggeration.
"Damn, Dashu, you really spent a lot of thought on picking up girls. You actually called for a Benz S level?"
Shi Lei hit her on the head again and said: "Picking up girls? You are just a brat who's not even 16 years old yet. This is me taking care of my niece as an uncle."
Zhang Liangliang twitched her lips, rolled her eyes, but pleasantly climbed into the car.
Because Zhang Liangliang was pretty and laughed and talked all the way, even the driver was influenced by her good mood. Shi Lei asked and discovered that this driver was a company's boss. He was rather bored on his way home so if he saw any orders that was on his way home, he would accept it and have someone to talk to. Today was obviously very enjoyable; not from driving a beauty, but because he had fun chatting with Shi Lei and Zhang Liangliang.
They arrived at the renowned tall building very quickly. After Shi Lei confirmed the payment and got off the car, Zhang Liangliang hugged his arms again shamelessly.
Shi Lei was also accustomed to it and didn't mind her as they walked into the front gate of the hotel.
It was their second time here and they were obviously more familiar with their surroundings. They headed straight for the elevator in the corner and pressed the button for the 68th floor. Because the elevator only stopped at the buffet, it only used about 20 seconds to reach the 68th floor.
After they paid for the bill, Zhang Liangliang did not mistreat herself this time and she wanted to eat everything. They ate until 9PM and didn't stop until they were the only table left.
"Oh my god, Dashu, I think I'll gain at least 2.5kg…… No, 5kg!" Zhang Liangliang first stretched out one oily hand, then she also stretched the other even more oily hand out.
If you are enjoying reading the Black Card, please leave a vote !
Chapter 95 - Punished Again
Translator: Lav
Editor: Levs
Although it was already 9PM, but after Zhang Liangliang's mother called her, her face was filled with annoyance.
"Dashu, can you not send me home this early? Zhang Meimei said she won't be home till late night and told me to sleep early. But it's the weekend today, I haven't been out for the whole week! Can you hang out with me? I'll treat you!"
Shi Lei felt sympathetic towards her and thought that he didn't plan to sleep early anyways as he needed to talk to the Scepter after midnight. He had about 200 yuan left anyway and needed to spend them.
He said: "Fine, it's an exception today. Let's go watch a movie, there's one I want to watch."
Zhang Liangliang wowed. She was happy just to be able to stay with Shi Lei and it didn't really matter what they do.
"Dashu, you are bad!" When Shi Lei was purchasing the tickets, Zhang Liangliang continuously made faces next to him.
Shi Lei frowned and asked: "How am I bad?"
"Usually if a boy wants to pick up a girl, he would take her to dinner first, then movies. Because the cinema is quite dark, he can pretend to accidentally touch the girl's hands. If the girl doesn't mind, then that means he can make a move and hold hands. After they hold hands for a while, he can even try to hold her in his arms. If the girl doesn't mind about these, then, hahaha, they are basically together. They kiss each other on the cheek, then on the lips, or even touch……"
Before Zhang Liangliang could finish her words, Shi Lei's facial expressions darkened.
The ticket seller, watching as the boy looked up to the sky, pretended that he didn't hear any of those words. But, does your manager know that you are really bad at acting? Why are you acting if you don't know how!
Shi Lei took the tickets and dragged her on the side.
Chilly wind swept past them and they shivered.
Shi Lei couldn't care less about this and said to Zhang Liangliang with a stern face: "Miss Zhang Liangliang, if you keep doing this, not to mention movies, I won't even eat with you anymore, and I will talk to your mother about it and quit this job. When that time comes, you can eat with whoever you like and watch movies with whoever you want!"
Zhang Liangliang felt wronged by his words. She grabbed onto Shi Lei's arms and swung them back and forth: "Dashu, why are you like this? I just wanted to joke around, I know you won't hold my hands and won't kiss me, but it's just a joke and you are going that far?"
"Yes, definitely. I'm telling you, Zhang Liangliang, you are just a child. If it's not for…… for……"
Shi Lei didn't want to put salt on her wound again and ignored that part: "For that, I really can't be bothered, you know?"
"I'm not a child anymore, I'll be 16 in December."
"16 is still a child. Do you know what's the legal age for an adult? 18!" Shi Lei raged.
"Dashu, is it because I'm not pretty enough?" Zhang Liangliang blinked her big and watery eyes. Her eyelashes were longer than those who put mascara on and her genes were outrageous.
Shi Lei sighed and said: "You are pretty, but this has nothing to do with being pretty. Plus, you met Yiyi already, she's my girlfriend, you know?" Helplessly, Shi Lei could only bring out Sun Yiyi as a shield.
"Ehhh…… Stop lying. I've gotten close to Yi'jie in the past few days. She told me ages ago that she grew up with you and you guys are childhood friends. Even your families wanted you two to be together, but you haven't even held hands yet."
"I held her hands yesterday!" Shi Lei was speechless. This Sun Yiyi was really naive, even a brat like this could easily make her expose so much.
"So what? I don't really care and I don't plan to fight over you with her. Yi'jie is such a good person, whoever fight over things with her, oh, no, dashu isn't a thing……."
Shi Lei's face was gloomy: "You are not a thing(1)!"
Zhang Liangliang laughed and said: "You know I don't mean it. I'm saying that I definitely won't snatch you away from Yi'jie, we can just share!"
Shi Lei slapped her on the head hard this time. The sound was loud and clear and Zhang Liangliang almost cried from the pain.
"Aiyo, Dashu, why are you so harsh on me!"
With a grim face, Shi Lei said: "This is still light! Share? Can this be shared? No, no, I'm not a thing. No, I am a thing? Dear lord, I'm so angry that I can't even make sense of my words anymore!"
Shi Lei was initially trying to scold Zhang Liangliang, but somehow he turned it into a joke. In the end, it did not educate Zhang Liangliang in any way and there were only comedic effects.
Zhang Liangliang giggled so hard that she couldn't straighten her back. She said: "Oh my god, you are so funny. I think I'm going to die from laughing. You are funnier than Guo Degang(2) and much funnier than Wang Zijian. You should go and write jokes for the young master. The talk shows of people who were born in the 80's are horrendous and I can't even watch it. Dandan and Wang Jianguo are definitely at the end of their wits. If you do it, the show would be popular throughout China. You are so funny!"
Shi Lei was really speechless. He discovered that whenever he talked to Zhang Liangliang, he always raged so easily. With this girl, he just couldn't get angry at her. Shi Lei doubted that if he kept on talking to her like this, he would be tricked until the very end.
"We are not watching the movie anymore. I'm sending you home!" Shi Lei pulled out his trump card under this situation. Zhang Liangliang was shocked. She looked at Shi Lei and there were even tears glittering in her eyes.
Holy shit! Can you not be like this?! Sun Yiyi was like this, Zhang Liangliang, too. Are you girls made out of water? Why do you all like to cry so much?
"Don't cry!" Shi Lei commanded strictly.
Zhang Liangliang pouted and said: "Then take me to the movies, I'm not going home!"
Shi Lei gave up and said: "Ok, ok, ok. Watch, we'll watch. What do you want to eat and drink, I'll get it now my little ancestor(3)!"
The tears in Zhang Liangliang's eyes disappeared in an instant and her smile was so bright as if it was the new year: "Popcorn, ice cream, and a Coke!"
Shi Lei went back to a gloomy face, and bought everything she wanted. With the tickets, he finished spending the sum of this week. In the end, this was good news to him.
"Don't be like this, Dashu, don't be angry. I'll listen to you, I definitely won't take any advantage of you under the dark environment of the cinema, ok?"
Shi Lei really wanted to swear and curse at her. In the end, he just glared at her. Seeing that it was almost time, they went straight for the cinema. The movie was not bad either. It was a film Shi Lei wanted to watch for a while and because it was a comedy, Zhang Liangliang was rather happy too. The popcorn in her hands spilled on Shi Lei just like her laughter and he couldn't do anything but pick it up and eat them all.
After the movie ended, it was late. Although the little girl strongly requested to eat supper, but Shi Lei ignored her and forcefully sent her home.
Seeing that there were only ten minutes left until midnight, Shi Lei called a taxi and closed his eyes as he accompanied Er'jie for the night and was really tired.
Suddenly, the taxi driver's nose twitched and asked: "Hey, do you smell something strange?"
Shi Lei didn't notice it before, but now that the driver mentioned it, he felt that his crotch was burning and he clearly saw a thin cloud of bloody fog rose up from his crotch……
HOLY SHIT!!!
You are not a thing: an insult meaning that someone isn't good enough/worthy to be human
Names mentioned in this paragraph are all comedians of China
Ancestor: usually refer to people who are hard to take care of
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