After Zheng Wei used up her days off for the year, she formally returned to Er Fen. She also brought her letter of resignation. Zheng Wei didn’t especially love her own work. Previously, she had been full of fervor when she dove into the deep waters of Zhong Jian. She had choked a few times, and some other people had also pulled on her. In the end, she finally slowly got used to it, becoming skillful and at ease. She had also thought of remaining here, fighting, until the last moment of her career. But people can’t control everything. She had never thought that Zhou Qu, who she had always seen as a good teacher and friend, to have this kind of thing happen to him. What’s even more, Lin Jing, who was about the become her husband, was the very person in charge of this case.
In this mess of a situation, Zheng Wei was unable to differentiate who was right and who was wrong, and neither did she want to try. No matter what Lin Jing did to Er Fen, his feelings for her were all real. In the same way, it didn’t matter if Zhou Qu was guilty or not. It wouldn’t change Zheng Wei’s grateful feelings. To say she gave up was fine, she was fed up with it all. She just didn’t want to be mixed up in the struggle between these men. She was even more unwilling to take the blame on her back. Adding on to her unclear and unknown relationship with Chen Xiao Zheng, maybe leaving was the wisest choice.
Actually, since coming back from the North Sea, Zheng Wei had already formally made this decision. She had discussed it with Lin Jing before, and his opinion was to honor hers. The resignation process went very smoothly. Zhou Qu was still not in the office as he was being investigated. Assistant Manager Zheng looked at her report, said a few polite words asking her to stay, but he still signed it quickly. The handover of all her duties and files didn’t have any major problems. The only thing was that when she was at the HR (Human Resources) department transferring documents, the personnel director told her that according to the formal procedure, all formal staff had to get the signature of the director of personnel within their section before they could process it in the HR department. After that, it would go to the HR center headquarters where the files would be transferred. Er Fen’s director of personnel was precisely Assistant Manager Chen.
Zheng Wei stood before Chen Xiao Zheng’s work desk, looking at her own file which was dancing from his fingertips, appearing thin and pale. He carefully studied that piece of paper for a few minutes, yet all of the words on that paper didn’t even exceed 100.
“I heard that your resignation is because you’re planning on getting married. Congratulations to you, getting married to a young and promising attorney general, having a nice home, even working doesn’t matter.”
His calmness was slightly unexpected to Zheng Wei, but this was a good thing for Zheng Wei. Right now, she just wanted to finish it all quickly, so she tried to act as calm as possible. “Thank you, Assistant Chen. Please sign above.”
“Sign? Easy.” Cheng Xiao Zheng raised the file and in front of Zheng Wei, he smiled faintly as he slowly sent it into the paper shredder on the side of the desk.”
Zheng Wei heard the sound of the blades shredding the paper and said, “It doesn’t matter, if Assistant Chen doesn’t like this sheet, I still have a spare photocopy.”
Only until after the end of the file folder had disappeared into the machine did Chen Xiao Zheng raise his head and look at Zheng Wei standing before him. He said slowly, “I will not sign.”
Zheng Wei let out a laugh and said, “Do you know what you’re acting like right now, like a petulant child. You can let my exit procedure not go smoothly, but can you stop my marriage registration? To be able to do that step, I’m afraid even using Miss Ouyang is far from enough.”
To infuriate the person in front of her was easy. When Chen Xiao Zheng leaned on the table separating them, the veins on his forehead were throbbing. Under his actions, Zheng Wei’s legs hit the table forcefully. She let out a low yelp, and her face looked pained.
Chen Xiao Zheng’s expression was far more painful that hers. He asked, “Does it hurt, Wei Wei? If you feel like it hurts, then you should know how I feel right now. Are you still planning on sending me an invitation when the wedding comes?
“I would be honored if you were willing to come,” Zheng Wei restrained her trembling, pained voice.
“Say that you’re only getting married to get back at me, say it, you won’t actually get married to Lin Jing.” His voice slowly got softer, as if it were his heart, and he had finally learned to get low into the dirt. “Wei Wei, I’ve never loved another person. Between me and Ouyang, other than an agreement, there wasn’t anything, she was even… …”
“You gave her a shield, and she would help you rise quickly?”
“You already know? Then why can’t you wait for me? Three years, I promised her three years, I thought I definitely could get through it.”
“Of course you can get through it, but I won’t accompany you. My marriage with Lin Jing is not because I’m angry at you, Chen Xiao Zheng, you’re not that important.”
He shook his head, refusing to accept this argument. But there was suddenly a knock on the door right at that moment and Zheng Wei said, “Someone came, let go. I told you to let go, didn’t you hear?”
Chen Xiao Zheng took a look at the door and clenched his teeth silently. The person outside didn’t seem to have much patience. After knocking on the door a few times, he saw that the door was unlocked, so he pushed the door open. “Assistant Fu, the travel expenses reimbursement… …” He Yi stood in the entrance of the office and saw a sight that made his jaw drop. The super meticulous and seemingly unreal Chen Xiao Zheng was leaning across the desk pulling hard on Zheng Wei’s hand, his eyes fierce when they were usually forever kind and detached, the entire desk a mess.
Chen Xiao Zheng saw He Yi, but he still didn’t intend on letting Zheng Wei go. He Yi laughed dryly a few times and said, “If there’s anything to say, talk through it slowly, we’re all colleagues… …”
“Who told you that she and I were colleagues.” Chen Xiao Zheng pointed at the direction of the door and snapped at He Yi, “Get lost, get out now.”
He Yi touched his nose. After all, he was his immediate boss. Since he didn’t understand the situation inside, he didn’t dare tread into that muddy water.
After He Yi left, closing the door behind him, Zheng Wei smiled, surprised, and said, “You’ve gone crazy.”
Only at this time did Chen Xiao Zheng let go. He walked a few steps to the door and locked it, then returned and hugged a stupefied Zheng Wei who was leaning on the table. He turned her head to look at him and said, “If I’ve gone crazy then I’ve gone crazy. Wei Wei, resigning is fine, if I’m with you, I don’t want anything else, as long as you don’t leave, is that okay? If you don’t think it’s enough, then what do you want me to do. Tell me, don’t hesitate, I can do anything.”
He trembled as he leaned his face against Zheng Wei’s. His skin was hot, but his tears were cool. This blend of warm and cold was like the hope created out of his desperation.
Zheng Wei shut her eyes, listening to him mutter over and over by her ear, just like a child, “I don’t want anything else, not anything else, only you… …”
She didn’t know if she had started crying yet. All along, in their love, Zheng Wei had always been the losing party. He was in front of her, charging ahead, and she was behind him, constantly chasing after him. Today, she finally returned the favor. Being able to get to this step, what use was winning now. “Really? You can truly leave with me without anything else?”
Chen Xiao Zheng was unable to say anything. He only nodded repeatedly.
Zheng Wei felt the saltiness from her tears. “A Zheng, even if you throw away everything today to come with me, there will definitely be a day when you will regret this. I don’t want you to have the chance to blame me.”
Chen Xiao Zheng pulled away from her and looked at her. He said, “Is it that you no longer believe in me, or that you no longer love me.” It was as if he had returned to that young man who had nothing back then, whose only thing he could depend upon had been Zheng Wei’s love. “I’ve never told you this before. When I was young, I had a doll. I had stolen it from my cousin. Out of all my toys, I loved it the most. Every night, I would be unable to sleep unless I was hugging it in my arms. No matter how old or how stinky it was, I didn’t care. Afterwards, I lost that doll. I wouldn’t stop crying, even my voice was hoarse, but I still couldn’t find it. Mom and dad bought me a lot of new toys to comfort me, but I didn’t want any of them. At that time, I thought, for every day I cannot find my doll, I wouldn’t be happy that entire day, never loving another toy. One month, two months, a year, two years, I was unable to forget about it. All the way until I started going to elementary school, we were cleaning the house on day and I found it in the corner of the old cupboard. At this time, I surprisingly discovered, it wasn’t even that important to me anymore. Maybe in the process of looking for it, I already passed by the age period in which I needed toys.”
Zheng Wei felt Chen Xiao Zheng’s body gradually pull away from her. Apparently, there would be a day. He was already willing to give everything up, but then he realized that his “all” wasn’t really valued that much by Zheng Wei. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t sign it. If worse comes to worse, I’ll just give up on the file. As long as I don’t come back to the company, the file doesn’t really mean much to me. The most important thing is, if I resign right now, everyone will think that I betrayed Zhou Qu, and that ashamed, I left, taking the blame. No one would ever guess that the one who personally handed the evidence to Lin Jing was you.”
“Lin Jing told you?”
Zheng Wei laughed softly and smiled, “Of course Lin Jing wouldn’t tell me about these things. He doesn’t want me to ever know about the transaction between you two.”
“I’ve already said that I’d never give up on catching Feng De Sheng, he has to pay the greatest price this time! As for Zhou Qu, you defend him so much and even hold him up as you work idol, but hasn’t he used you before? Is it wrong for me to do what I did?”
Zheng Wei said, “You guys both aren’t wrong, honestly, its understandable for the both of you. But don’t say you can throw everything away just for me again.”
Chen Xiao Zheng disappointedly sat back down in his leather chair. He was a smart person, occasionally he would be in a dream, but he would still wake up quicker than everyone else. In the end, he still signed the other letter she prepared. He wrote the word “Zheng” so many times until his pen fell, and then he finally believed, Zheng Wei and Chen Xiao Zheng had already become a memory.
*- The Zheng here is the character in Chen Xiao ZHENG’s name and also means like straight, upright, proper, positive, right, so I don’t really understand this reference.
Chen Xiao Zheng pushed the signed letter in front of Zheng Wei. The current him was reserved as usual. After Zheng Wei said thank you, he asked one last question. “If there wasn’t Miss Ouyang, if I had started off competing equally with Lin Jing, would you have given me a chance?”
This answer already was meaningless. Life didn’t have ifs. Zheng Wei could’ve been misleading and given him an answer that seemed right but was actually wrong, but she didn’t. She took the letter carefully in her hand and only said a single word to him. “Would’ve!”
*-I know would’ve is actually would have but in Chinese the words are different so I tried to make it work
Zheng Wei didn’t wait to see Chen Xiao Zheng’s reaction. After she finished speaking, she turned and left. She knew he would be fine. From here on out, he would be successful, his wishes being fulfilled. At most, it was that he dreamed that his heart hurt– if he still had dreams.
After Zheng Wei used up her days off for the year, she formally returned to Er Fen. She also brought her letter of resignation. Zheng Wei didn’t especially love her own work. Previously, she had been full of fervor when she dove into the deep waters of Zhong Jian. She had choked a few times, and some other people had also pulled on her. In the end, she finally slowly got used to it, becoming skillful and at ease. She had also thought of remaining here, fighting, until the last moment of her career. But people can’t control everything. She had never thought that Zhou Qu, who she had always seen as a good teacher and friend, to have this kind of thing happen to him. What’s even more, Lin Jing, who was about the become her husband, was the very person in charge of this case.
In this mess of a situation, Zheng Wei was unable to differentiate who was right and who was wrong, and neither did she want to try. No matter what Lin Jing did to Er Fen, his feelings for her were all real. In the same way, it didn’t matter if Zhou Qu was guilty or not. It wouldn’t change Zheng Wei’s grateful feelings. To say she gave up was fine, she was fed up with it all. She just didn’t want to be mixed up in the struggle between these men. She was even more unwilling to take the blame on her back. Adding on to her unclear and unknown relationship with Chen Xiao Zheng, maybe leaving was the wisest choice.
Actually, since coming back from the North Sea, Zheng Wei had already formally made this decision. She had discussed it with Lin Jing before, and his opinion was to honor hers. The resignation process went very smoothly. Zhou Qu was still not in the office as he was being investigated. Assistant Manager Zheng looked at her report, said a few polite words asking her to stay, but he still signed it quickly. The handover of all her duties and files didn’t have any major problems. The only thing was that when she was at the HR (Human Resources) department transferring documents, the personnel director told her that according to the formal procedure, all formal staff had to get the signature of the director of personnel within their section before they could process it in the HR department. After that, it would go to the HR center headquarters where the files would be transferred. Er Fen’s director of personnel was precisely Assistant Manager Chen.
Zheng Wei stood before Chen Xiao Zheng’s work desk, looking at her own file which was dancing from his fingertips, appearing thin and pale. He carefully studied that piece of paper for a few minutes, yet all of the words on that paper didn’t even exceed 100.
“I heard that your resignation is because you’re planning on getting married. Congratulations to you, getting married to a young and promising attorney general, having a nice home, even working doesn’t matter.”
His calmness was slightly unexpected to Zheng Wei, but this was a good thing for Zheng Wei. Right now, she just wanted to finish it all quickly, so she tried to act as calm as possible. “Thank you, Assistant Chen. Please sign above.”
“Sign? Easy.” Cheng Xiao Zheng raised the file and in front of Zheng Wei, he smiled faintly as he slowly sent it into the paper shredder on the side of the desk.”
Zheng Wei heard the sound of the blades shredding the paper and said, “It doesn’t matter, if Assistant Chen doesn’t like this sheet, I still have a spare photocopy.”
Only until after the end of the file folder had disappeared into the machine did Chen Xiao Zheng raise his head and look at Zheng Wei standing before him. He said slowly, “I will not sign.”
Zheng Wei let out a laugh and said, “Do you know what you’re acting like right now, like a petulant child. You can let my exit procedure not go smoothly, but can you stop my marriage registration? To be able to do that step, I’m afraid even using Miss Ouyang is far from enough.”
To infuriate the person in front of her was easy. When Chen Xiao Zheng leaned on the table separating them, the veins on his forehead were throbbing. Under his actions, Zheng Wei’s legs hit the table forcefully. She let out a low yelp, and her face looked pained.
Chen Xiao Zheng’s expression was far more painful that hers. He asked, “Does it hurt, Wei Wei? If you feel like it hurts, then you should know how I feel right now. Are you still planning on sending me an invitation when the wedding comes?
“I would be honored if you were willing to come,” Zheng Wei restrained her trembling, pained voice.
“Say that you’re only getting married to get back at me, say it, you won’t actually get married to Lin Jing.” His voice slowly got softer, as if it were his heart, and he had finally learned to get low into the dirt. “Wei Wei, I’ve never loved another person. Between me and Ouyang, other than an agreement, there wasn’t anything, she was even… …”
“You gave her a shield, and she would help you rise quickly?”
“You already know? Then why can’t you wait for me? Three years, I promised her three years, I thought I definitely could get through it.”
“Of course you can get through it, but I won’t accompany you. My marriage with Lin Jing is not because I’m angry at you, Chen Xiao Zheng, you’re not that important.”
He shook his head, refusing to accept this argument. But there was suddenly a knock on the door right at that moment and Zheng Wei said, “Someone came, let go. I told you to let go, didn’t you hear?”
Chen Xiao Zheng took a look at the door and clenched his teeth silently. The person outside didn’t seem to have much patience. After knocking on the door a few times, he saw that the door was unlocked, so he pushed the door open. “Assistant Fu, the travel expenses reimbursement… …” He Yi stood in the entrance of the office and saw a sight that made his jaw drop. The super meticulous and seemingly unreal Chen Xiao Zheng was leaning across the desk pulling hard on Zheng Wei’s hand, his eyes fierce when they were usually forever kind and detached, the entire desk a mess.
Chen Xiao Zheng saw He Yi, but he still didn’t intend on letting Zheng Wei go. He Yi laughed dryly a few times and said, “If there’s anything to say, talk through it slowly, we’re all colleagues… …”
“Who told you that she and I were colleagues.” Chen Xiao Zheng pointed at the direction of the door and snapped at He Yi, “Get lost, get out now.”
He Yi touched his nose. After all, he was his immediate boss. Since he didn’t understand the situation inside, he didn’t dare tread into that muddy water.
After He Yi left, closing the door behind him, Zheng Wei smiled, surprised, and said, “You’ve gone crazy.”
Only at this time did Chen Xiao Zheng let go. He walked a few steps to the door and locked it, then returned and hugged a stupefied Zheng Wei who was leaning on the table. He turned her head to look at him and said, “If I’ve gone crazy then I’ve gone crazy. Wei Wei, resigning is fine, if I’m with you, I don’t want anything else, as long as you don’t leave, is that okay? If you don’t think it’s enough, then what do you want me to do. Tell me, don’t hesitate, I can do anything.”
He trembled as he leaned his face against Zheng Wei’s. His skin was hot, but his tears were cool. This blend of warm and cold was like the hope created out of his desperation.
Zheng Wei shut her eyes, listening to him mutter over and over by her ear, just like a child, “I don’t want anything else, not anything else, only you… …”
She didn’t know if she had started crying yet. All along, in their love, Zheng Wei had always been the losing party. He was in front of her, charging ahead, and she was behind him, constantly chasing after him. Today, she finally returned the favor. Being able to get to this step, what use was winning now. “Really? You can truly leave with me without anything else?”
Chen Xiao Zheng was unable to say anything. He only nodded repeatedly.
Zheng Wei felt the saltiness from her tears. “A Zheng, even if you throw away everything today to come with me, there will definitely be a day when you will regret this. I don’t want you to have the chance to blame me.”
Chen Xiao Zheng pulled away from her and looked at her. He said, “Is it that you no longer believe in me, or that you no longer love me.” It was as if he had returned to that young man who had nothing back then, whose only thing he could depend upon had been Zheng Wei’s love. “I’ve never told you this before. When I was young, I had a doll. I had stolen it from my cousin. Out of all my toys, I loved it the most. Every night, I would be unable to sleep unless I was hugging it in my arms. No matter how old or how stinky it was, I didn’t care. Afterwards, I lost that doll. I wouldn’t stop crying, even my voice was hoarse, but I still couldn’t find it. Mom and dad bought me a lot of new toys to comfort me, but I didn’t want any of them. At that time, I thought, for every day I cannot find my doll, I wouldn’t be happy that entire day, never loving another toy. One month, two months, a year, two years, I was unable to forget about it. All the way until I started going to elementary school, we were cleaning the house on day and I found it in the corner of the old cupboard. At this time, I surprisingly discovered, it wasn’t even that important to me anymore. Maybe in the process of looking for it, I already passed by the age period in which I needed toys.”
Zheng Wei felt Chen Xiao Zheng’s body gradually pull away from her. Apparently, there would be a day. He was already willing to give everything up, but then he realized that his “all” wasn’t really valued that much by Zheng Wei. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t sign it. If worse comes to worse, I’ll just give up on the file. As long as I don’t come back to the company, the file doesn’t really mean much to me. The most important thing is, if I resign right now, everyone will think that I betrayed Zhou Qu, and that ashamed, I left, taking the blame. No one would ever guess that the one who personally handed the evidence to Lin Jing was you.”
“Lin Jing told you?”
Zheng Wei laughed softly and smiled, “Of course Lin Jing wouldn’t tell me about these things. He doesn’t want me to ever know about the transaction between you two.”
“I’ve already said that I’d never give up on catching Feng De Sheng, he has to pay the greatest price this time! As for Zhou Qu, you defend him so much and even hold him up as you work idol, but hasn’t he used you before? Is it wrong for me to do what I did?”
Zheng Wei said, “You guys both aren’t wrong, honestly, its understandable for the both of you. But don’t say you can throw everything away just for me again.”
Chen Xiao Zheng disappointedly sat back down in his leather chair. He was a smart person, occasionally he would be in a dream, but he would still wake up quicker than everyone else. In the end, he still signed the other letter she prepared. He wrote the word “Zheng” so many times until his pen fell, and then he finally believed, Zheng Wei and Chen Xiao Zheng had already become a memory.
*- The Zheng here is the character in Chen Xiao ZHENG’s name and also means like straight, upright, proper, positive, right, so I don’t really understand this reference.
Chen Xiao Zheng pushed the signed letter in front of Zheng Wei. The current him was reserved as usual. After Zheng Wei said thank you, he asked one last question. “If there wasn’t Miss Ouyang, if I had started off competing equally with Lin Jing, would you have given me a chance?”
This answer already was meaningless. Life didn’t have ifs. Zheng Wei could’ve been misleading and given him an answer that seemed right but was actually wrong, but she didn’t. She took the letter carefully in her hand and only said a single word to him. “Would’ve!”
*-I know would’ve is actually would have but in Chinese the words are different so I tried to make it work
Zheng Wei didn’t wait to see Chen Xiao Zheng’s reaction. After she finished speaking, she turned and left. She knew he would be fine. From here on out, he would be successful, his wishes being fulfilled. At most, it was that he dreamed that his heart hurt– if he still had dreams.
