Chapter 22
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"Someone's knocking again," she said pulling herself up, still tired. Not Arren, she told herself knowing that at the moment she left, he was still asleep.
"They know I can't tell them it's alright to come in," she grumbled as she slid off the bed. Ilun already stood at attention on the floor, his body a shifting cloud. She patted his side as she passed.
She stumbled to the door, still tired but light streamed into her room from the window. She opened the door, frowning at the form on the other side. The maid stared back at her nervously. "Is your pet in there?" Greta asked.
Isilla nodded slowly, shifting out of the doorway so the woman could see Ilun. The evening before her dinner had been laid out along with her clothing and her bath run, not a maid in sight. It seemed things would return to normal now that Ilun had failed to eat a single person.
Greta bowed low, "I'm very sorry, your ladyship, for striking you yesterday. I was very frightened."
Isilla frowned deeper, she had never spoken so formally to her before, none of them had. She reached her hand out, to tell the woman to stand but Greta continued.
"If you could find it in your heart to speak kindly of me to your husband. He's ordered I be removed from my post. My family and I will starve on the streets. Please ma'am, please forgive me!"
She stared at the woman, surprised at her impassioned confession. Quickly she turned and gathered her book. I'll speak to him right now, help me get dressed, she wrote.
The woman read her note and nodded moving quickly to her closet even as she looked nervously at Ilun. The other two maids came in as Greta was straitening the ash colored dress over Isilla's body.
Gerta moved to put a belt around her waist, woven bright colors but Isilla waved it off. She dropped the necklace Arren had given her over her neck and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Your breakfast,"Sele started as Isilla shook her head and breezed out of the room, Ilun lumbering behind.
The necklace guided her from her rooms and down the twisting halls. She pushed open the door it pulled her too, finding herself back in Arren's sitting room. Julen looked up from the couch, seeing her from the corner of his eye as she breezed past.
"Ma'am?" he called.
She smiled at him, nodding her head in greeting before turning to Ilun. "Stay," she told him and he sat, head cocked to the side.
Alone she stepped forward and pushed open Arren's bedroom door.
She half expected to see him at his dresser. In the waking world, he leaned against his bed, pulling his shoe on. His shadows reacted before he did, crossing the distance between them, wrapping themselves around her skirts and rising up her body, their light touch pulling at her fingers, gently.
He looked up, his eyes tracing her body for a moment before he waved his hand, slamming the door shut behind her.
"You are quite disheveled this morning. What do I owe such a hurried visit to?" Arren asked, his voice cold as he stood and reached for his jacket.
I told you to leave the maid alone, she wrote.
He raised an eyebrow, "Yes and I told you that she would be punished. She has been removed. In fact she should be gone by now. I'll send some guards to finish this, then. Is that all?"
She clenched her teeth, her lips tightening. Leave her alone, she wrote in big letters. You are being cruel!
"Then I am cruel," he said coldly. "I dismissed that maid and all of the guards who raised their swords to you while you slept yesterday. This is my leniency. Under my father's rule, they would be executed. Be thankful that I am only this cruel."
The man that stood before her held no trace of the one that had played guessing games with her until late in the evening. Not even the one that she had seen in the Veil.
She shook her head. It's wrong! She'll starve! It was a silly mistake, she wrote quickly.
He waved her words away. "We cannot keep a servant in our home who would strike us. If they do not fear us above all then they can harm us. This is the way of our court, your court. You will understand this," his voice betrayed no emotion but around her, his shadows deepened and twisted, reaching up the wall, their touch stronger against her. The memory that the shade had shown her flashed into her mind for a moment before she pushed it away.
This isn't like you, she wrote.
He closed the distance between them, crossing his arms as he looked down at her. "Princess Isilla, do not mistake however I may be during my private time with you with who I am as a prince of this land."
She stilled, the darkness surrounded them both, the morning light dim and far. Her heart sped up in her chest, she could feel the power spilling from him, pressing against her as if to crush her under it. Her body shook but she didn't look away from him, her eyes stayed focused on his even as she wrote.
Let them stay, as a wedding gift to me.
He read the note and raised an eyebrow. He looked at her again, frowning. "You are very stubborn," he said unintentionally mimicking the shade. "Fine but you can only request one gift from me and this is that one. I will have them all reinstated, do not ask me for anything further, ever again," the shadows shifted as he turned away from her.
Thank you, she wrote, I will not trouble you again.
She tugged on his sleeve to show him the note. He read it and she bowed her head gently, preparing to leave.
"Wait," he said.
She stopped, turning to look back at him.
"I would have called for you later in the day but you're here so we will discuss this now."
She folded her hands over the book, waiting.
"I found this ring in my sheets this morning when I woke," he said pulling the small, plain band from the dresser.
It happened again, she thought, staring at the unassuming piece of jewelry in awe.
"It was very strange because I thought it was my mother's but I have never seen her wear such a thing."
She looked up from the ring and at Arren, her insides feeling as if they were tumbling against each other.
"You asked me who wrote your letters before you gave this to me, I think, the details are hazy. It was a dream, after all, except for this ring," he said.
She nodded, guilty.
"You were attempting to get out of our agreement. I told you not to wander about in the dreams of others here. I told you it was dangerous," he said slowly. "I have been too kind with you. If I find that you have done this again, if you come into my dreams again, you will be punished. I cannot trust you."
His last words were a growl.
She wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that she was only trying make sense of things and that was a piece of the puzzle she needed to understand, for herself but instead she wrote, I'm sorry for disobeying you. Thank you for granting my request.
The damage had already been done.
"Tomorrow you will come with me to the city for our meeting with the Council. I expect a quiet, presentable wife who is eager to help us win her country's favor as per our agreement."
She nodded.
"Now leave my room so I can finish dressing," he said.
She bowed slightly and turned away from him, walking out the door.
"Come on Ilun," she said her voice shaky.
Julen looked at her sheepishly over the couch and she smiled weakly back, waving before facing forward. As she walked to the door, she slid off the necklace and dropped it to the floor.
Ilun whined at her side as she forced herself to focus on her own rooms. The castle led them back without issue. The maids met her in the first hall, nervous.
He agreed to let her stay, she wrote and the three women smiled, happily speaking to one another.
"Thank you," Greta said and Isilla nodded.
I'm going to my room, she wrote.
"Breakfast is waiting for you. We'll come by with lunch," Greta said, what they needed from her given the three paid her no more attention.
It's fine, she thought, it was the right thing to do.
Alone with Ilun she walked to her room, closing the door.
She placed Ilun's plate, full of eggs, on the floor for him and then climbed onto her bed. Hugging her knees she pressed her face into her arms, tears falling from her eyes. He was so cold to me, she thought confused. I thought I understood him enough but he really is as cruel as they say. Why was he so nice to me yesterday if this was how he really is?
It was, she realized, as if there were two Arrens. The one who had kissed her last night and the Lord of All Shadows who stood in the bedroom with her this morning. Regardless of which one was real, the Lord who stood before her was the one he showed more often.
Ilun, pressed his face against her, easing it into her her lap, he licked at her wet face, catching her tears, a low whine in his throat before snorting he pushed closer.
She ran her hand over his fur, thankful to have at least have one companion.
"It's just you and me, I guess," she said to the animal.
The press of Arren's darkness had felt almost like the ceremony the shade had shown her, but in reverse, as if his power were looking for something in her. She touched her chest. I will never do what that shade wants, I can never be like that with him, she thought.
"No more tears," she said, sliding from the bed. "I've cried enough already.
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"Someone's knocking again," she said pulling herself up, still tired. Not Arren, she told herself knowing that at the moment she left, he was still asleep.
"They know I can't tell them it's alright to come in," she grumbled as she slid off the bed. Ilun already stood at attention on the floor, his body a shifting cloud. She patted his side as she passed.
She stumbled to the door, still tired but light streamed into her room from the window. She opened the door, frowning at the form on the other side. The maid stared back at her nervously. "Is your pet in there?" Greta asked.
Isilla nodded slowly, shifting out of the doorway so the woman could see Ilun. The evening before her dinner had been laid out along with her clothing and her bath run, not a maid in sight. It seemed things would return to normal now that Ilun had failed to eat a single person.
Greta bowed low, "I'm very sorry, your ladyship, for striking you yesterday. I was very frightened."
Isilla frowned deeper, she had never spoken so formally to her before, none of them had. She reached her hand out, to tell the woman to stand but Greta continued.
"If you could find it in your heart to speak kindly of me to your husband. He's ordered I be removed from my post. My family and I will starve on the streets. Please ma'am, please forgive me!"
She stared at the woman, surprised at her impassioned confession. Quickly she turned and gathered her book. I'll speak to him right now, help me get dressed, she wrote.
The woman read her note and nodded moving quickly to her closet even as she looked nervously at Ilun. The other two maids came in as Greta was straitening the ash colored dress over Isilla's body.
Gerta moved to put a belt around her waist, woven bright colors but Isilla waved it off. She dropped the necklace Arren had given her over her neck and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Your breakfast,"Sele started as Isilla shook her head and breezed out of the room, Ilun lumbering behind.
The necklace guided her from her rooms and down the twisting halls. She pushed open the door it pulled her too, finding herself back in Arren's sitting room. Julen looked up from the couch, seeing her from the corner of his eye as she breezed past.
"Ma'am?" he called.
She smiled at him, nodding her head in greeting before turning to Ilun. "Stay," she told him and he sat, head cocked to the side.
Alone she stepped forward and pushed open Arren's bedroom door.
She half expected to see him at his dresser. In the waking world, he leaned against his bed, pulling his shoe on. His shadows reacted before he did, crossing the distance between them, wrapping themselves around her skirts and rising up her body, their light touch pulling at her fingers, gently.
He looked up, his eyes tracing her body for a moment before he waved his hand, slamming the door shut behind her.
"You are quite disheveled this morning. What do I owe such a hurried visit to?" Arren asked, his voice cold as he stood and reached for his jacket.
I told you to leave the maid alone, she wrote.
He raised an eyebrow, "Yes and I told you that she would be punished. She has been removed. In fact she should be gone by now. I'll send some guards to finish this, then. Is that all?"
She clenched her teeth, her lips tightening. Leave her alone, she wrote in big letters. You are being cruel!
"Then I am cruel," he said coldly. "I dismissed that maid and all of the guards who raised their swords to you while you slept yesterday. This is my leniency. Under my father's rule, they would be executed. Be thankful that I am only this cruel."
The man that stood before her held no trace of the one that had played guessing games with her until late in the evening. Not even the one that she had seen in the Veil.
She shook her head. It's wrong! She'll starve! It was a silly mistake, she wrote quickly.
He waved her words away. "We cannot keep a servant in our home who would strike us. If they do not fear us above all then they can harm us. This is the way of our court, your court. You will understand this," his voice betrayed no emotion but around her, his shadows deepened and twisted, reaching up the wall, their touch stronger against her. The memory that the shade had shown her flashed into her mind for a moment before she pushed it away.
This isn't like you, she wrote.
He closed the distance between them, crossing his arms as he looked down at her. "Princess Isilla, do not mistake however I may be during my private time with you with who I am as a prince of this land."
She stilled, the darkness surrounded them both, the morning light dim and far. Her heart sped up in her chest, she could feel the power spilling from him, pressing against her as if to crush her under it. Her body shook but she didn't look away from him, her eyes stayed focused on his even as she wrote.
Let them stay, as a wedding gift to me.
He read the note and raised an eyebrow. He looked at her again, frowning. "You are very stubborn," he said unintentionally mimicking the shade. "Fine but you can only request one gift from me and this is that one. I will have them all reinstated, do not ask me for anything further, ever again," the shadows shifted as he turned away from her.
Thank you, she wrote, I will not trouble you again.
She tugged on his sleeve to show him the note. He read it and she bowed her head gently, preparing to leave.
"Wait," he said.
She stopped, turning to look back at him.
"I would have called for you later in the day but you're here so we will discuss this now."
She folded her hands over the book, waiting.
"I found this ring in my sheets this morning when I woke," he said pulling the small, plain band from the dresser.
It happened again, she thought, staring at the unassuming piece of jewelry in awe.
"It was very strange because I thought it was my mother's but I have never seen her wear such a thing."
She looked up from the ring and at Arren, her insides feeling as if they were tumbling against each other.
"You asked me who wrote your letters before you gave this to me, I think, the details are hazy. It was a dream, after all, except for this ring," he said.
She nodded, guilty.
"You were attempting to get out of our agreement. I told you not to wander about in the dreams of others here. I told you it was dangerous," he said slowly. "I have been too kind with you. If I find that you have done this again, if you come into my dreams again, you will be punished. I cannot trust you."
His last words were a growl.
She wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that she was only trying make sense of things and that was a piece of the puzzle she needed to understand, for herself but instead she wrote, I'm sorry for disobeying you. Thank you for granting my request.
The damage had already been done.
"Tomorrow you will come with me to the city for our meeting with the Council. I expect a quiet, presentable wife who is eager to help us win her country's favor as per our agreement."
She nodded.
"Now leave my room so I can finish dressing," he said.
She bowed slightly and turned away from him, walking out the door.
"Come on Ilun," she said her voice shaky.
Julen looked at her sheepishly over the couch and she smiled weakly back, waving before facing forward. As she walked to the door, she slid off the necklace and dropped it to the floor.
Ilun whined at her side as she forced herself to focus on her own rooms. The castle led them back without issue. The maids met her in the first hall, nervous.
He agreed to let her stay, she wrote and the three women smiled, happily speaking to one another.
"Thank you," Greta said and Isilla nodded.
I'm going to my room, she wrote.
"Breakfast is waiting for you. We'll come by with lunch," Greta said, what they needed from her given the three paid her no more attention.
It's fine, she thought, it was the right thing to do.
Alone with Ilun she walked to her room, closing the door.
She placed Ilun's plate, full of eggs, on the floor for him and then climbed onto her bed. Hugging her knees she pressed her face into her arms, tears falling from her eyes. He was so cold to me, she thought confused. I thought I understood him enough but he really is as cruel as they say. Why was he so nice to me yesterday if this was how he really is?
It was, she realized, as if there were two Arrens. The one who had kissed her last night and the Lord of All Shadows who stood in the bedroom with her this morning. Regardless of which one was real, the Lord who stood before her was the one he showed more often.
Ilun, pressed his face against her, easing it into her her lap, he licked at her wet face, catching her tears, a low whine in his throat before snorting he pushed closer.
She ran her hand over his fur, thankful to have at least have one companion.
"It's just you and me, I guess," she said to the animal.
The press of Arren's darkness had felt almost like the ceremony the shade had shown her, but in reverse, as if his power were looking for something in her. She touched her chest. I will never do what that shade wants, I can never be like that with him, she thought.
"No more tears," she said, sliding from the bed. "I've cried enough already.
"Someone's knocking again," she said pulling herself up, still tired. Not Arren, she told herself knowing that at the moment she left, he was still asleep."They know I can't tell them it's alright to come in," she grumbled as she slid off the bed. Ilun already stood at attention on the floor, his body a shifting cloud. She patted his side as she passed.She stumbled to the door, still tired but light streamed into her room from the window. She opened the door, frowning at the form on the other side. The maid stared back at her nervously. "Is your pet in there?" Greta asked.Isilla nodded slowly, shifting out of the doorway so the woman could see Ilun. The evening before her dinner had been laid out along with her clothing and her bath run, not a maid in sight. It seemed things would return to normal now that Ilun had failed to eat a single person.Greta bowed low, "I'm very sorry, your ladyship, for striking you yesterday. I was very frightened."Isilla frowned deeper, she had never spoken so formally to her before, none of them had. She reached her hand out, to tell the woman to stand but Greta continued."If you could find it in your heart to speak kindly of me to your husband. He's ordered I be removed from my post. My family and I will starve on the streets. Please ma'am, please forgive me!"She stared at the woman, surprised at her impassioned confession. Quickly she turned and gathered her book. I'll speak to him right now, help me get dressed, she wrote.The woman read her note and nodded moving quickly to her closet even as she looked nervously at Ilun. The other two maids came in as Greta was straitening the ash colored dress over Isilla's body.Gerta moved to put a belt around her waist, woven bright colors but Isilla waved it off. She dropped the necklace Arren had given her over her neck and ran her fingers through her hair."Your breakfast,"Sele started as Isilla shook her head and breezed out of the room, Ilun lumbering behind.The necklace guided her from her rooms and down the twisting halls. She pushed open the door it pulled her too, finding herself back in Arren's sitting room. Julen looked up from the couch, seeing her from the corner of his eye as she breezed past."Ma'am?" he called.She smiled at him, nodding her head in greeting before turning to Ilun. "Stay," she told him and he sat, head cocked to the side.Alone she stepped forward and pushed open Arren's bedroom door.She half expected to see him at his dresser. In the waking world, he leaned against his bed, pulling his shoe on. His shadows reacted before he did, crossing the distance between them, wrapping themselves around her skirts and rising up her body, their light touch pulling at her fingers, gently.He looked up, his eyes tracing her body for a moment before he waved his hand, slamming the door shut behind her."You are quite disheveled this morning. What do I owe such a hurried visit to?" Arren asked, his voice cold as he stood and reached for his jacket.I told you to leave the maid alone, she wrote.He raised an eyebrow, "Yes and I told you that she would be punished. She has been removed. In fact she should be gone by now. I'll send some guards to finish this, then. Is that all?"She clenched her teeth, her lips tightening. Leave her alone, she wrote in big letters. You are being cruel!"Then I am cruel," he said coldly. "I dismissed that maid and all of the guards who raised their swords to you while you slept yesterday. This is my leniency. Under my father's rule, they would be executed. Be thankful that I am only this cruel."The man that stood before her held no trace of the one that had played guessing games with her until late in the evening. Not even the one that she had seen in the Veil.She shook her head. It's wrong! She'll starve! It was a silly mistake, she wrote quickly.He waved her words away. "We cannot keep a servant in our home who would strike us. If they do not fear us above all then they can harm us. This is the way of our court, your court. You will understand this," his voice betrayed no emotion but around her, his shadows deepened and twisted, reaching up the wall, their touch stronger against her. The memory that the shade had shown her flashed into her mind for a moment before she pushed it away.This isn't like you, she wrote.He closed the distance between them, crossing his arms as he looked down at her. "Princess Isilla, do not mistake however I may be during my private time with you with who I am as a prince of this land."She stilled, the darkness surrounded them both, the morning light dim and far. Her heart sped up in her chest, she could feel the power spilling from him, pressing against her as if to crush her under it. Her body shook but she didn't look away from him, her eyes stayed focused on his even as she wrote.Let them stay, as a wedding gift to me.He read the note and raised an eyebrow. He looked at her again, frowning. "You are very stubborn," he said unintentionally mimicking the shade. "Fine but you can only request one gift from me and this is that one. I will have them all reinstated, do not ask me for anything further, ever again," the shadows shifted as he turned away from her.Thank you, she wrote, I will not trouble you again.She tugged on his sleeve to show him the note. He read it and she bowed her head gently, preparing to leave."Wait," he said.She stopped, turning to look back at him."I would have called for you later in the day but you're here so we will discuss this now."She folded her hands over the book, waiting."I found this ring in my sheets this morning when I woke," he said pulling the small, plain band from the dresser.It happened again, she thought, staring at the unassuming piece of jewelry in awe."It was very strange because I thought it was my mother's but I have never seen her wear such a thing."She looked up from the ring and at Arren, her insides feeling as if they were tumbling against each other."You asked me who wrote your letters before you gave this to me, I think, the details are hazy. It was a dream, after all, except for this ring," he said.She nodded, guilty."You were attempting to get out of our agreement. I told you not to wander about in the dreams of others here. I told you it was dangerous," he said slowly. "I have been too kind with you. If I find that you have done this again, if you come into my dreams again, you will be punished. I cannot trust you."His last words were a growl.She wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that she was only trying make sense of things and that was a piece of the puzzle she needed to understand, for herself but instead she wrote, I'm sorry for disobeying you. Thank you for granting my request.The damage had already been done."Tomorrow you will come with me to the city for our meeting with the Council. I expect a quiet, presentable wife who is eager to help us win her country's favor as per our agreement."She nodded."Now leave my room so I can finish dressing," he said.She bowed slightly and turned away from him, walking out the door."Come on Ilun," she said her voice shaky.Julen looked at her sheepishly over the couch and she smiled weakly back, waving before facing forward. As she walked to the door, she slid off the necklace and dropped it to the floor.Ilun whined at her side as she forced herself to focus on her own rooms. The castle led them back without issue. The maids met her in the first hall, nervous.He agreed to let her stay, she wrote and the three women smiled, happily speaking to one another."Thank you," Greta said and Isilla nodded.I'm going to my room, she wrote."Breakfast is waiting for you. We'll come by with lunch," Greta said, what they needed from her given the three paid her no more attention.It's fine, she thought, it was the right thing to do.Alone with Ilun she walked to her room, closing the door.She placed Ilun's plate, full of eggs, on the floor for him and then climbed onto her bed. Hugging her knees she pressed her face into her arms, tears falling from her eyes. He was so cold to me, she thought confused. I thought I understood him enough but he really is as cruel as they say. Why was he so nice to me yesterday if this was how he really is?It was, she realized, as if there were two Arrens. The one who had kissed her last night and the Lord of All Shadows who stood in the bedroom with her this morning. Regardless of which one was real, the Lord who stood before her was the one he showed more often.Ilun, pressed his face against her, easing it into her her lap, he licked at her wet face, catching her tears, a low whine in his throat before snorting he pushed closer.She ran her hand over his fur, thankful to have at least have one companion."It's just you and me, I guess," she said to the animal.The press of Arren's darkness had felt almost like the ceremony the shade had shown her, but in reverse, as if his power were looking for something in her. She touched her chest. I will never do what that shade wants, I can never be like that with him, she thought."No more tears," she said, sliding from the bed. "I've cried enough already.
