Chapter 26
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She pushed Ilun forward, crossing whole dream spaces in just a few leaps. She had no time, no energy to spend on spinning light from the darkness around. So many nightmares, she thought as she pushed through them searching for something to fill her.
Her courtyard had rebuilt some, the chasm that had opened closed but her flowers had not returned, the fountains still stood dry. She had climbed onto Ilun's back and left as soon as she arrived, focused on finding what she needed.
The Veil seemed intent on keeping it from her however. She rode Ilun from dream to dream, there was nothing but upset and discord. Here a child lost, there a murder. Everything was heavy with fear.
She slowed him, taking a moment to calm her own panic and feel the threads of the Veil around her. She urged Ilun in the direction of one that felt right, felt like light. He moved as she pushed, stepping through strange landscapes until she tugged his fur, signaling him to stop.
She closed her eyes, letting the feel of the dream wash over her. Yes, this is a good one, she thought as she slid off Ilun's back. The unfamiliar space welcomed her, a kitchen but more than a kitchen to the dreamer. She smiled as she passed by the table and settled into a corner, beckoning Ilun to join her.
In front of her, the dreamer made bread with another woman. They talked and kneaded dough in front of them. Their exchange was nonsense to Isilla's ears but it didn't matter, whatever they were saying, it pleased the dreamer well.
The warmth of the space wrapped around and entered her. Without her involvement, the dreamers moved around Isilla and Ilun as if they weren't there at all, stepping over his slowly wagging tails, reaching around her to pull things from low shelves.
That must be the dreamer's mother, she thought watching how the two moved and spoke. The scene reminded her of her own mother and she smiled for a moment before letting the memory fade. A familiar tremor vibrated through the floor. This dreamer would wake very soon.
"Ilun, let's go," she said standing and leading him out of the door and into the next space.
She frowned, met with another nightmare, this one a dirt tunnel with nothing but small candles for light. Filled somewhat from the last dream she dipped her fingers into the fabric of the nightmare. She felt the threads of the space and willed them to reshape, to become something else. Not to far different from what it was, just enough to calm, to bring joy.
The walls shifted from dirt to stone as she walked, softly glowing crystals lining the space. She turned down winding hallways until she found the dreamer, alone and frightened. She reached for him and he took her hands. Silently she walked him back through the world of his dream, showing him there was nothing to be afraid of.
The energy just right she let go of his hand, watching as he walked past them. Alone she sat in the tunnel with Ilun as she had in the kitchen, letting the dream take it's course while she absorbed the light from it.
More relaxed, she turned her attention to the day's events. She had seen Arren's shadows stop Lehan's without incident but he hadn't acted until the woman's attack would be deadly. Isilla could see that he was ready, his shadows were thick around him but he hesitated to do anything at all.
"Why did he do that?" she asked the empty hall, leaning back to stare at the rocky ceiling that mimicked the night sky. She had so many questions about him but he never seemed to answer any of them.
"He was so angry after he found the ring. No, after I changed his memory. I can change memories? I've never done that before, have I been doing that the whole time? Everything has become so complicated here."
She tried to focus on the puzzle of the ring but her mind kept wandering back to Arren. "When he said he wasn't good at it, I wonder what he meant. Being a husband, a friend, or just talking to someone?"
Ilun barked softly as if in response.
"You're right, it's all three," Isilla said smiling to herself. Still, the touch of his shadows felt more like the private Arren and less like the Lord of All Shadows. Each day, the man who wrote her letters felt further away from her, less real now that she was so much closer than he had ever felt when she was still in her own lands.
"Maybe he isn't real and two Princes are all there is. A cruel one who passed his duty to someone else and a man all tied up in a monster and I don't know which is worse to be married to," she said idly.
Out of her mouth, she could feel the lie. Despite her uncertainty around him, Arren had saved her. As Lehan's wife she may have been clearer about her position in his life but he would have been far more cruel, at least directly, to her. Whatever Arren had done in the past, he was not cruel, regardless of what she had said.
Mattin said to ask him about it, I should, she thought. "Maybe he's hiding behind his title. This place seems very unforgiving."
That woman said she was challenging me, Isilla thought, I'll ask Mattin what that means. I have no magic, I don't know how I would fight anyone. I think I can trust him, at least for something like this.
She stood, dusting off her skirts before leading Ilun out of the tunnels and into the next dream. She spent no time waiting, her reserve filled enough so that she could easily wander through the Veil, changing and drawing as she needed.
Satisfied she returned to her courtyard. She smiled up at the lavender sky and noted that crack-less ground under her feet. Still, the fountains were only at a trickle and the flowers hadn't returned.
"You fool!" the shade screeched at her.
Isilla turned to the voice, Ilun ducking behind her, suddenly terrified.
"You could have died! And from such a mild injury!" the shades face was twisted in anger, her eyes burned, locked on Isilla. "Why did you let your light fade so much here? I already warned you once!"
"I didn't know this would happen. I don't know what was happening. The world just, crumbled," she said, as she fell to the ground, her light weaving cushions to catch her. Ilun laid behind her and she threw her arm over him, her touch calming his fears.
"Of course this would happen! Dreaming only knows protect the Sorgia! Every bit of light to you! And when it runs out," she stopped and looked away.
"Something terrible will happen. I saw the hole. It opened under my feet. Something told me to get away from it," Isilla said shivers running through her.
The shade crouched on the ground and nodded, "Ah, as I said, the blood, it remembers."
"What will happen?" Isilla asked.
The shade shook her head, "You know what you need. Don't let your light fade here."
"That's not good enough," Isilla replied, "I need to know what will happen if I fall into one of those holes. I need to understand more about what's happening to me. I can't keep from making mistakes if I don't know anything."
The shade sighed, "Sorgia, can only tell what can tell. Can only warn, help you along the path. I cannot make you understand."
"Can I change everyone's memories?" Isilla asked focusing on the woman in front of her.
The shade smiled showing bright, white teeth, "Ah so you've learned that."
"I can then," she said slowly an uneasy feeling boiling in her.
The shade shook her head, "Not so simple. Dreams and memories, very close things, yes? Sometimes closer than we think. When you make things real, then, very close."
"So I must be careful as I make changes. This is dangerous," Isilla said softly.
"Bind your power with this man, this Prince. Then not so dangerous, more control on both sides," the shade said, her eyes twinkling.
"Why?" Isilla asked.
The shade sighed, "Power is growing, soon, too much for this vessel. Now, most is used just for this." She waved her hand indicating the world around them, "But in a few weeks, you'll have more, it will be too much and then it will start to spill. Maybe in the Light, with other weavers, it would be fine but here, there's no one to move that power."
Isilla shook her head, her fingers touching her chest, "No. I don't understand but I can't, not with him. I saw what that was like. I don't want that. It's too much for, it's just too much."
"For what?" the shade asked. "Can feel some of what you feel, from our shared time. I know you want someone else. Is fine, then find him instead. Simple. Make the bind with that one then."
"I don't know who he is," she said.
"Find him, if you want, you want, but quick! Before you lose light again," the shade replied. "Here," the woman said, reaching her hand out, "Show you what I mean, better."
Isilla couldn't move away from the touch, the shade's fingers brushed her arm and the world exploded. Suddenly, Isilla's body felt filled with light.
It's too much, she tried to scream, light spilling from her mouth, her eyes. She grabbed her head, the light, the power, pounded against her skull as if to break it. The world turned gold, her courtyard disappeared, Ilun gone, all that remained were the delicate threads of the Dreaming, twisted into thick cords of power. They wrapped around her, burrowed into her skin, filling her to bursting.
The shade pulled her hand away leaving Isilla shaken.
"You see now, without the other, you can't release it," she said.
Isilla breathed hard, her arms wrapped around herself. Ilun whimpered and pressed himself closer to her. "You said," she started slowly, "that other dreamweavers could help keep this under control."
The other woman nodded, "Dreamweavers or darktellers. Either or but there are none here. Just you, just Sorgia."
"How do you know?" Isilla asked.
The shade didn't answer. She stood, done with Isilla and left leaving Isilla alone in her courtyard with Ilun
Isilla rolled curling her body towards Ilun, running her fingers through his fur. As if finding him were that easy, she thought. Arren wants me to wait until after the treaty is final, of course he needs to protect the interests of his country. But I need to find him, I can't survive that, not the real thing and I don't want to do that with someone who doesn't care for me.
When the man in the vision had drawn from her, used her power as his own it had almost hurt. Whatever their relationship, it was clear that he was not fond of the women she shared space with. She couldn't risk it with Arren's temper with her, twice now he had yelled at her. She had seen his darkness cover a room.
"I have to find the person who really wrote my letters, he's the only option I have left," she decided.
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She pushed Ilun forward, crossing whole dream spaces in just a few leaps. She had no time, no energy to spend on spinning light from the darkness around. So many nightmares, she thought as she pushed through them searching for something to fill her.
Her courtyard had rebuilt some, the chasm that had opened closed but her flowers had not returned, the fountains still stood dry. She had climbed onto Ilun's back and left as soon as she arrived, focused on finding what she needed.
The Veil seemed intent on keeping it from her however. She rode Ilun from dream to dream, there was nothing but upset and discord. Here a child lost, there a murder. Everything was heavy with fear.
She slowed him, taking a moment to calm her own panic and feel the threads of the Veil around her. She urged Ilun in the direction of one that felt right, felt like light. He moved as she pushed, stepping through strange landscapes until she tugged his fur, signaling him to stop.
She closed her eyes, letting the feel of the dream wash over her. Yes, this is a good one, she thought as she slid off Ilun's back. The unfamiliar space welcomed her, a kitchen but more than a kitchen to the dreamer. She smiled as she passed by the table and settled into a corner, beckoning Ilun to join her.
In front of her, the dreamer made bread with another woman. They talked and kneaded dough in front of them. Their exchange was nonsense to Isilla's ears but it didn't matter, whatever they were saying, it pleased the dreamer well.
The warmth of the space wrapped around and entered her. Without her involvement, the dreamers moved around Isilla and Ilun as if they weren't there at all, stepping over his slowly wagging tails, reaching around her to pull things from low shelves.
That must be the dreamer's mother, she thought watching how the two moved and spoke. The scene reminded her of her own mother and she smiled for a moment before letting the memory fade. A familiar tremor vibrated through the floor. This dreamer would wake very soon.
"Ilun, let's go," she said standing and leading him out of the door and into the next space.
She frowned, met with another nightmare, this one a dirt tunnel with nothing but small candles for light. Filled somewhat from the last dream she dipped her fingers into the fabric of the nightmare. She felt the threads of the space and willed them to reshape, to become something else. Not to far different from what it was, just enough to calm, to bring joy.
The walls shifted from dirt to stone as she walked, softly glowing crystals lining the space. She turned down winding hallways until she found the dreamer, alone and frightened. She reached for him and he took her hands. Silently she walked him back through the world of his dream, showing him there was nothing to be afraid of.
The energy just right she let go of his hand, watching as he walked past them. Alone she sat in the tunnel with Ilun as she had in the kitchen, letting the dream take it's course while she absorbed the light from it.
More relaxed, she turned her attention to the day's events. She had seen Arren's shadows stop Lehan's without incident but he hadn't acted until the woman's attack would be deadly. Isilla could see that he was ready, his shadows were thick around him but he hesitated to do anything at all.
"Why did he do that?" she asked the empty hall, leaning back to stare at the rocky ceiling that mimicked the night sky. She had so many questions about him but he never seemed to answer any of them.
"He was so angry after he found the ring. No, after I changed his memory. I can change memories? I've never done that before, have I been doing that the whole time? Everything has become so complicated here."
She tried to focus on the puzzle of the ring but her mind kept wandering back to Arren. "When he said he wasn't good at it, I wonder what he meant. Being a husband, a friend, or just talking to someone?"
Ilun barked softly as if in response.
"You're right, it's all three," Isilla said smiling to herself. Still, the touch of his shadows felt more like the private Arren and less like the Lord of All Shadows. Each day, the man who wrote her letters felt further away from her, less real now that she was so much closer than he had ever felt when she was still in her own lands.
"Maybe he isn't real and two Princes are all there is. A cruel one who passed his duty to someone else and a man all tied up in a monster and I don't know which is worse to be married to," she said idly.
Out of her mouth, she could feel the lie. Despite her uncertainty around him, Arren had saved her. As Lehan's wife she may have been clearer about her position in his life but he would have been far more cruel, at least directly, to her. Whatever Arren had done in the past, he was not cruel, regardless of what she had said.
Mattin said to ask him about it, I should, she thought. "Maybe he's hiding behind his title. This place seems very unforgiving."
That woman said she was challenging me, Isilla thought, I'll ask Mattin what that means. I have no magic, I don't know how I would fight anyone. I think I can trust him, at least for something like this.
She stood, dusting off her skirts before leading Ilun out of the tunnels and into the next dream. She spent no time waiting, her reserve filled enough so that she could easily wander through the Veil, changing and drawing as she needed.
Satisfied she returned to her courtyard. She smiled up at the lavender sky and noted that crack-less ground under her feet. Still, the fountains were only at a trickle and the flowers hadn't returned.
"You fool!" the shade screeched at her.
Isilla turned to the voice, Ilun ducking behind her, suddenly terrified.
"You could have died! And from such a mild injury!" the shades face was twisted in anger, her eyes burned, locked on Isilla. "Why did you let your light fade so much here? I already warned you once!"
"I didn't know this would happen. I don't know what was happening. The world just, crumbled," she said, as she fell to the ground, her light weaving cushions to catch her. Ilun laid behind her and she threw her arm over him, her touch calming his fears.
"Of course this would happen! Dreaming only knows protect the Sorgia! Every bit of light to you! And when it runs out," she stopped and looked away.
"Something terrible will happen. I saw the hole. It opened under my feet. Something told me to get away from it," Isilla said shivers running through her.
The shade crouched on the ground and nodded, "Ah, as I said, the blood, it remembers."
"What will happen?" Isilla asked.
The shade shook her head, "You know what you need. Don't let your light fade here."
"That's not good enough," Isilla replied, "I need to know what will happen if I fall into one of those holes. I need to understand more about what's happening to me. I can't keep from making mistakes if I don't know anything."
The shade sighed, "Sorgia, can only tell what can tell. Can only warn, help you along the path. I cannot make you understand."
"Can I change everyone's memories?" Isilla asked focusing on the woman in front of her.
The shade smiled showing bright, white teeth, "Ah so you've learned that."
"I can then," she said slowly an uneasy feeling boiling in her.
The shade shook her head, "Not so simple. Dreams and memories, very close things, yes? Sometimes closer than we think. When you make things real, then, very close."
"So I must be careful as I make changes. This is dangerous," Isilla said softly.
"Bind your power with this man, this Prince. Then not so dangerous, more control on both sides," the shade said, her eyes twinkling.
"Why?" Isilla asked.
The shade sighed, "Power is growing, soon, too much for this vessel. Now, most is used just for this." She waved her hand indicating the world around them, "But in a few weeks, you'll have more, it will be too much and then it will start to spill. Maybe in the Light, with other weavers, it would be fine but here, there's no one to move that power."
Isilla shook her head, her fingers touching her chest, "No. I don't understand but I can't, not with him. I saw what that was like. I don't want that. It's too much for, it's just too much."
"For what?" the shade asked. "Can feel some of what you feel, from our shared time. I know you want someone else. Is fine, then find him instead. Simple. Make the bind with that one then."
"I don't know who he is," she said.
"Find him, if you want, you want, but quick! Before you lose light again," the shade replied. "Here," the woman said, reaching her hand out, "Show you what I mean, better."
Isilla couldn't move away from the touch, the shade's fingers brushed her arm and the world exploded. Suddenly, Isilla's body felt filled with light.
It's too much, she tried to scream, light spilling from her mouth, her eyes. She grabbed her head, the light, the power, pounded against her skull as if to break it. The world turned gold, her courtyard disappeared, Ilun gone, all that remained were the delicate threads of the Dreaming, twisted into thick cords of power. They wrapped around her, burrowed into her skin, filling her to bursting.
The shade pulled her hand away leaving Isilla shaken.
"You see now, without the other, you can't release it," she said.
Isilla breathed hard, her arms wrapped around herself. Ilun whimpered and pressed himself closer to her. "You said," she started slowly, "that other dreamweavers could help keep this under control."
The other woman nodded, "Dreamweavers or darktellers. Either or but there are none here. Just you, just Sorgia."
"How do you know?" Isilla asked.
The shade didn't answer. She stood, done with Isilla and left leaving Isilla alone in her courtyard with Ilun
Isilla rolled curling her body towards Ilun, running her fingers through his fur. As if finding him were that easy, she thought. Arren wants me to wait until after the treaty is final, of course he needs to protect the interests of his country. But I need to find him, I can't survive that, not the real thing and I don't want to do that with someone who doesn't care for me.
When the man in the vision had drawn from her, used her power as his own it had almost hurt. Whatever their relationship, it was clear that he was not fond of the women she shared space with. She couldn't risk it with Arren's temper with her, twice now he had yelled at her. She had seen his darkness cover a room.
"I have to find the person who really wrote my letters, he's the only option I have left," she decided.
She pushed Ilun forward, crossing whole dream spaces in just a few leaps. She had no time, no energy to spend on spinning light from the darkness around. So many nightmares, she thought as she pushed through them searching for something to fill her.Her courtyard had rebuilt some, the chasm that had opened closed but her flowers had not returned, the fountains still stood dry. She had climbed onto Ilun's back and left as soon as she arrived, focused on finding what she needed.The Veil seemed intent on keeping it from her however. She rode Ilun from dream to dream, there was nothing but upset and discord. Here a child lost, there a murder. Everything was heavy with fear.She slowed him, taking a moment to calm her own panic and feel the threads of the Veil around her. She urged Ilun in the direction of one that felt right, felt like light. He moved as she pushed, stepping through strange landscapes until she tugged his fur, signaling him to stop.She closed her eyes, letting the feel of the dream wash over her. Yes, this is a good one, she thought as she slid off Ilun's back. The unfamiliar space welcomed her, a kitchen but more than a kitchen to the dreamer. She smiled as she passed by the table and settled into a corner, beckoning Ilun to join her.In front of her, the dreamer made bread with another woman. They talked and kneaded dough in front of them. Their exchange was nonsense to Isilla's ears but it didn't matter, whatever they were saying, it pleased the dreamer well.The warmth of the space wrapped around and entered her. Without her involvement, the dreamers moved around Isilla and Ilun as if they weren't there at all, stepping over his slowly wagging tails, reaching around her to pull things from low shelves.That must be the dreamer's mother, she thought watching how the two moved and spoke. The scene reminded her of her own mother and she smiled for a moment before letting the memory fade. A familiar tremor vibrated through the floor. This dreamer would wake very soon."Ilun, let's go," she said standing and leading him out of the door and into the next space.She frowned, met with another nightmare, this one a dirt tunnel with nothing but small candles for light. Filled somewhat from the last dream she dipped her fingers into the fabric of the nightmare. She felt the threads of the space and willed them to reshape, to become something else. Not to far different from what it was, just enough to calm, to bring joy.The walls shifted from dirt to stone as she walked, softly glowing crystals lining the space. She turned down winding hallways until she found the dreamer, alone and frightened. She reached for him and he took her hands. Silently she walked him back through the world of his dream, showing him there was nothing to be afraid of.The energy just right she let go of his hand, watching as he walked past them. Alone she sat in the tunnel with Ilun as she had in the kitchen, letting the dream take it's course while she absorbed the light from it.More relaxed, she turned her attention to the day's events. She had seen Arren's shadows stop Lehan's without incident but he hadn't acted until the woman's attack would be deadly. Isilla could see that he was ready, his shadows were thick around him but he hesitated to do anything at all."Why did he do that?" she asked the empty hall, leaning back to stare at the rocky ceiling that mimicked the night sky. She had so many questions about him but he never seemed to answer any of them."He was so angry after he found the ring. No, after I changed his memory. I can change memories? I've never done that before, have I been doing that the whole time? Everything has become so complicated here."She tried to focus on the puzzle of the ring but her mind kept wandering back to Arren. "When he said he wasn't good at it, I wonder what he meant. Being a husband, a friend, or just talking to someone?"Ilun barked softly as if in response."You're right, it's all three," Isilla said smiling to herself. Still, the touch of his shadows felt more like the private Arren and less like the Lord of All Shadows. Each day, the man who wrote her letters felt further away from her, less real now that she was so much closer than he had ever felt when she was still in her own lands."Maybe he isn't real and two Princes are all there is. A cruel one who passed his duty to someone else and a man all tied up in a monster and I don't know which is worse to be married to," she said idly.Out of her mouth, she could feel the lie. Despite her uncertainty around him, Arren had saved her. As Lehan's wife she may have been clearer about her position in his life but he would have been far more cruel, at least directly, to her. Whatever Arren had done in the past, he was not cruel, regardless of what she had said.Mattin said to ask him about it, I should, she thought. "Maybe he's hiding behind his title. This place seems very unforgiving."That woman said she was challenging me, Isilla thought, I'll ask Mattin what that means. I have no magic, I don't know how I would fight anyone. I think I can trust him, at least for something like this.She stood, dusting off her skirts before leading Ilun out of the tunnels and into the next dream. She spent no time waiting, her reserve filled enough so that she could easily wander through the Veil, changing and drawing as she needed.Satisfied she returned to her courtyard. She smiled up at the lavender sky and noted that crack-less ground under her feet. Still, the fountains were only at a trickle and the flowers hadn't returned."You fool!" the shade screeched at her.Isilla turned to the voice, Ilun ducking behind her, suddenly terrified."You could have died! And from such a mild injury!" the shades face was twisted in anger, her eyes burned, locked on Isilla. "Why did you let your light fade so much here? I already warned you once!""I didn't know this would happen. I don't know what was happening. The world just, crumbled," she said, as she fell to the ground, her light weaving cushions to catch her. Ilun laid behind her and she threw her arm over him, her touch calming his fears."Of course this would happen! Dreaming only knows protect the Sorgia! Every bit of light to you! And when it runs out," she stopped and looked away."Something terrible will happen. I saw the hole. It opened under my feet. Something told me to get away from it," Isilla said shivers running through her.The shade crouched on the ground and nodded, "Ah, as I said, the blood, it remembers.""What will happen?" Isilla asked.The shade shook her head, "You know what you need. Don't let your light fade here.""That's not good enough," Isilla replied, "I need to know what will happen if I fall into one of those holes. I need to understand more about what's happening to me. I can't keep from making mistakes if I don't know anything."The shade sighed, "Sorgia, can only tell what can tell. Can only warn, help you along the path. I cannot make you understand.""Can I change everyone's memories?" Isilla asked focusing on the woman in front of her.The shade smiled showing bright, white teeth, "Ah so you've learned that.""I can then," she said slowly an uneasy feeling boiling in her.The shade shook her head, "Not so simple. Dreams and memories, very close things, yes? Sometimes closer than we think. When you make things real, then, very close.""So I must be careful as I make changes. This is dangerous," Isilla said softly."Bind your power with this man, this Prince. Then not so dangerous, more control on both sides," the shade said, her eyes twinkling."Why?" Isilla asked.The shade sighed, "Power is growing, soon, too much for this vessel. Now, most is used just for this." She waved her hand indicating the world around them, "But in a few weeks, you'll have more, it will be too much and then it will start to spill. Maybe in the Light, with other weavers, it would be fine but here, there's no one to move that power."Isilla shook her head, her fingers touching her chest, "No. I don't understand but I can't, not with him. I saw what that was like. I don't want that. It's too much for, it's just too much.""For what?" the shade asked. "Can feel some of what you feel, from our shared time. I know you want someone else. Is fine, then find him instead. Simple. Make the bind with that one then.""I don't know who he is," she said."Find him, if you want, you want, but quick! Before you lose light again," the shade replied. "Here," the woman said, reaching her hand out, "Show you what I mean, better."Isilla couldn't move away from the touch, the shade's fingers brushed her arm and the world exploded. Suddenly, Isilla's body felt filled with light.It's too much, she tried to scream, light spilling from her mouth, her eyes. She grabbed her head, the light, the power, pounded against her skull as if to break it. The world turned gold, her courtyard disappeared, Ilun gone, all that remained were the delicate threads of the Dreaming, twisted into thick cords of power. They wrapped around her, burrowed into her skin, filling her to bursting.The shade pulled her hand away leaving Isilla shaken."You see now, without the other, you can't release it," she said.Isilla breathed hard, her arms wrapped around herself. Ilun whimpered and pressed himself closer to her. "You said," she started slowly, "that other dreamweavers could help keep this under control."The other woman nodded, "Dreamweavers or darktellers. Either or but there are none here. Just you, just Sorgia.""How do you know?" Isilla asked.The shade didn't answer. She stood, done with Isilla and left leaving Isilla alone in her courtyard with IlunIsilla rolled curling her body towards Ilun, running her fingers through his fur. As if finding him were that easy, she thought. Arren wants me to wait until after the treaty is final, of course he needs to protect the interests of his country. But I need to find him, I can't survive that, not the real thing and I don't want to do that with someone who doesn't care for me.When the man in the vision had drawn from her, used her power as his own it had almost hurt. Whatever their relationship, it was clear that he was not fond of the women she shared space with. She couldn't risk it with Arren's temper with her, twice now he had yelled at her. She had seen his darkness cover a room."I have to find the person who really wrote my letters, he's the only option I have left," she decided.
